Chapter 19 - Irina #2
She pushed past him, not trusting herself to look at his face. If she saw hurt there, if she saw the man who’d held her hair back while she was sick, she might crumble completely.
“Irina, wait.” His voice followed her down the hallway, but she didn’t stop.
She couldn’t stop. Because if she stayed, if she let him take care of her the way he had last night, she’d forget that he’d bought her like property. She’d forget that their entire relationship was built on his plan to destroy the people she loved most.
And now there was a baby to consider. A baby who deserved better than parents who couldn’t trust each other, who’d started their relationship with such fundamental deception.
She managed to lose his security detail in the maze of downtown streets, a skill she’d learned from years of evading her brothers’ protection. But where could she go? Her family’s properties would be the first place he’d look. Her friends were all connected to the family in some way.
That left one option. One person who might understand what she was going through and help her figure out what to do next.
Anka lived in a converted brownstone on the Upper East Side, away from the family compounds and business districts. When she answered the door, her face cycled through surprise, concern, and understanding in seconds.
“Irina? What are you doing here? You look terrible.”
“I need help,” Irina said simply, and felt herself start to crumble. “I don’t know where else to go.”
Without hesitation, Anka pulled her inside, closing the door firmly behind them. The apartment was warm and inviting, filled with books and soft textures that felt like a sanctuary after the sterile hotel room.
“Sit,” Anka commanded, guiding her to a plush sofa. “I’ll make tea. Then you’re going to tell me what my idiot brother did.”
The kindness in her voice was Irina’s undoing. The tears she’d been holding back finally came, great heaving sobs that seemed to tear through her chest.
Anka didn’t ask questions, didn’t demand explanations. She simply sat beside Irina and held her while she fell apart, offering the kind of unconditional support that Irina had been craving.
“He bought me,” Irina said finally, when the tears had subsided enough for her to speak. “At the auction. It was all planned. The kidnapping, the marriage, everything. He did it to destroy my family.”
“I know,” Anka said quietly.
“You know?” Irina pulled back to look at her. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
“I suspected. And I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how stubborn Matvei can be.” Anka’s expression was pained. “I hoped he’d come to his senses before anyone got hurt.”
“Well, he didn’t.” The words came out bitter. “And now I’m...” She stopped, the pregnancy test burning a hole in her purse.
“Now you’re what?”
“Pregnant.” The word fell between them like a stone dropped into still water.
Anka went very still. “Does he know?”
“No. I just found out this morning.” Irina laughed brokenly. “Perfect timing, right? Just when I’m trying to figure out how to walk away from this mess.”
“Is that what you want to do? Walk away?”
The question hung in the air between them. Irina had thought the answer was obvious, but now, faced with Anka’s gentle brown eyes, she wasn’t sure.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I thought I did. I thought it would be simple. He lied to me, used me, and planned to destroy my family. I should hate him.”
“But you don’t.”
“But I don’t.” The admission felt like defeat. “How pathetic is that? He bought me like I was property, and I still...”
“Love him?”
The words hit her like a physical blow. “I can’t. Not after everything.”
“Can’t, or shouldn’t?” Anka’s voice was gentle but probing. “Because there’s a difference.”
“Does it matter? How can I be with someone who planned to destroy the people I love most? How can I raise a child with him?”
Anka was quiet for a long moment, staring into her tea. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft with old pain.
“I was married once,” she said. “To a man who seemed perfect on paper. Wealthy, handsome, from a good family. Everything my parents wanted for me.”
Irina stayed silent, sensing there was more.
“He seemed to love me. Said all the right things, made all the right gestures. It took me two years to realize that he saw me as an accessory. Something beautiful to display at parties and events, but not a real person with thoughts and feelings of my own.”
“That’s terrible.”
“The worst part was that I convinced myself it was enough. That being wanted, even for the wrong reasons, was better than being alone.” Anka’s smile was sad. “It nearly destroyed me.”
“How did you get out?”
“I realized that I deserved better than being someone’s beautiful object. That I deserved to be loved for who I am, not what I represent.” She looked at Irina intently. “But you know what I learned?”
“What?”
“That sometimes people start wanting you for the wrong reasons and end up loving you for the right ones. The question is whether you can tell the difference.”
The words settled deep in Irina’s chest, making her think about the man who’d held her hair while she was sick, who’d taught her self-defense with infinite patience, who’d looked at her like she was the most fascinating person in the world.
“What if I can’t trust my own judgment anymore?” she asked. “What if I’m just seeing what I want to see?”
“Then you take time to figure it out. You don’t make any permanent decisions while you’re emotional and pregnant and exhausted.” Anka reached over and squeezed her hand. “You can stay here as long as you need. No one will bother you, I promise.”
“What about Matvei? When he realizes you’re helping me...”
“Let me worry about my brother. You focus on taking care of yourself and figuring out what you really want.”
For the first time in days, Irina felt like she could breathe.
The apartment felt safe, insulated from the chaos of her life.
Maybe Anka was right. Maybe she didn’t have to make any decisions right now.
Maybe she could just exist for a while, let herself heal and think and figure out what came next.
But even as she tried to relax into the temporary sanctuary Anka had provided, she couldn’t stop thinking about Matvei.
About the panic that had flickered across his face when she’d pushed past him in the hotel.
About the way he’d stayed with her all night, taking care of her without asking for anything in return.
About the baby growing inside her, a baby that would tie them together forever, regardless of what she decided.
The future stretched ahead of her, uncertain and terrifying. But for now, she was safe. For now, she had time to think.
For now, that would have to be enough.