CHAPTER 13
M yra knew she was being dramatic. She hated this part of herself, but it had always been there.
Ever since she had first figured out that she liked girls, decades ago now, she had been worried that a girl she liked wouldn’t be interested or like someone else entirely.
In high school, she had liked a girl in her class and had been convinced the girl had liked her, too, but she either hadn’t been comfortable admitting it or had been denying it even to herself.
Myra had flirted relentlessly, though, and the girl had flirted back.
Then, one day, Myra had spotted her flirting with a guy in their class instead and watched them make out at a party.
Convinced she had been wrong to think that the girl liked her, Myra had given up and left her alone, no longer meeting her at school every morning to catch up about their nights.
The girl had ended up confronting her about it a month later, wondering what was going on, and Myra had explained her side.
The girl had explained that she had made out with the guy so that people wouldn’t suspect that she wanted to be making out with girls.
Myra had only been sixteen, so she could get away with acting dramatically and immaturely back then, but she was forty now, so there was really no excuse for it.
Still, she had seen Elisa kiss a woman in the car right in front of her, after Elisa had seen Myra and had even acknowledged her with a smile.
When Elisa had turned, the woman next to her in the car had kissed her, and Elisa had even done that smile-and-wave thing people did when they didn’t want to say goodbye to someone as the woman drove off.
Myra had hurried inside after she’d seen that, wondering how she’d gotten it wrong.
Elisa hadn’t dated anyone. That had been what she had told Myra the previous night.
Myra thought they’d had a moment, and yes, she had pulled away, but she’d stayed for dinner.
She could’ve just let Elisa’s awkwardness get to her and left, but she’d stayed.
She liked Elisa. She liked the way they sort of fell into easy conversation and how Elisa seemed to be like an open book to her.
She liked that Elisa didn’t hold back. It was the opposite experience from what she had had with her ex-wife, only back then, Myra hadn’t known that her wife was hiding back anything.
“I have to go work on her house,” she said to herself before she took a deep breath and practiced her professional smile in the mirror that hung by the front door of her house.
She had been hiding, and she knew it. How was she this old and still this immature?
Myra headed to her bedroom, where she put on a fresh shirt.
Today, she had been in the office and hadn’t gone to a job site, but she had spilled mustard on it at lunch and didn’t want to go to a job wearing a dirty shirt.
She changed and put a bandana over her hair because she would be working on a part that was severely damaged and there would be things falling in her hair.
She hated when things fell into her hair at work, and a white bandana usually did the trick.
She wrapped it around her braids and walked to her kitchen, stalling further by grabbing an apple and taking a bite.
She figured she would finish it and then head over.
Of course, she could always text Elisa to cancel tonight, telling her that something had come up.
“No, you can’t,” she said to herself.
She was being petty and ridiculous. Elisa had seen her.
Myra had left a big pile of wood between their houses.
Elisa would see that her truck was in the driveway and know that she was home.
Working for her neighbor while also crushing on said neighbor really wasn’t working for Myra tonight. She picked up her phone and dialed.
“Hey,” Melinda said when she answered the call.
“Hey. I have a problem: I’m being petty again.”
“What?” Melinda laughed.
Myra took another bite of her apple and chewed while she thought about how best to explain .
“I just saw Elisa kiss another woman, and I practically ran inside my house to avoid her.”
“She kissed another woman? I thought you said–”
“I did. She told me just last night that she’s never been with a woman, not even on a date, but I just got here from the office, and I was unloading stuff for her house from the truck, and she pulled up in her car with another woman sitting next to her.”
“And they kissed? Did Elisa see you?”
“Yes, and yes,” she replied. “I was standing right there. We even made eye contact. Then, she turned, and the other woman’s lips were on hers.
And, you know, that’s her thing. She can kiss whomever she wants.
She’s a single woman, for all I know; I have no claim on her or anything.
But, Mel, we almost kissed last night. And yes, technically, she could kiss all the women in the world back-to-back if she wanted to because we’re not together or anything, but right in front of me?
I told her I liked her last night, that I had feelings for her, and she looked at me and then did that today?
I just… I don’t know what to do about it because I’ve got to go work over there right now, and I’m sure it’ll come up. ”
“Well, it should . It sounds like she has some explaining to do.”
“It’s less about that than it is about how it made me feel to watch her kiss another woman.”
“Oh,” Melinda said softly. “How did it feel?”
“Like a punch to my heart. Like she straight-up walked over to me and punched me in the chest, I fell back, and she just walked off.”
“You really like her.”
“I didn’t see this coming at all. Even if she and I don’t pursue anything, she made it sound like there weren’t exactly any other prospects for her.”
“Well, she lives right next door to you, so odds are, if you and she don’t get together, you’ll see her with someone at some point, right?”
“Probably. ”
“Then, what I said earlier today still stands: talk to her.”
“She just kissed a–”
“Talk to her,” Melinda repeated. “Don’t be that person; don’t make assumptions.”
Myra took a bite of her apple to stall and said, “Fine. I hate being an adult.”
“Me too sometimes,” Melinda replied. “Just get it out in the open. Ask her about last night. Tell her that you saw her kissing someone else, and it hurt, but that you need to know where you stand. I think that’s fair.
Then, you just have to see what she says and what she wants to do and be prepared for her to not want to be with you. ”
Myra nodded to no one and said, “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Call me later, okay?”
“Okay,” she said and hung up just as the doorbell rang.
Myra left her half-eaten apple on the counter and walked with her phone, still in her hand for some reason, toward the front door.
When she looked through the peephole, her eyes got big because she saw Elisa standing there.
She couldn’t not open the door. Elisa knew she was home.
Myra supposed that if she was asked later, she could always say that she had been in the shower or something and hadn’t heard the doorbell, but she needed to be mature.
Rolling her eyes at herself, she pulled open the door.
“Hey,” she spoke. “I was just about to come over to your place.”
“Can I come in?” Elisa asked.
“Uh… Yeah,” she replied, realizing only then that Elisa hadn’t ever been inside her house.
She moved aside, letting Elisa walk in past her, and closed the door behind her.
“Want the tour or something?”
“It’s like mine a little, isn’t it?” Elisa said, looking around.
“Yeah, pretty much. I just don’t have the upstairs.”
“I wouldn’t have needed it either, but I wanted the kids to have their own rooms for breaks and stuff,” Elisa added.
And they were small-talking their way through this awkwardness, which seemed to sum up how they were with each other when things got awkward, with neither of them knowing what to do about it.
“Are you thirsty?” she asked.
“No,” Elisa replied.
“Okay. Want that tour?”
“No.” Elisa shook her head and smiled at her. “Why did you run inside your house?”
“I didn’t run,” Myra argued. “I walked.”
“Can we sit?”
“Sure,” she said and motioned for Elisa to head into the living room, where she had a worn, brown leather sofa.
“You didn’t say hi. You saw me, and I saw you. I thought you’d say hi or something, at least,” Elisa noted.
“I had to change my shirt,” she replied, which was partly true.
When Elisa sat down on the sofa that Myra had found a couple of years earlier, falling in love with its softness, she joined her there, but at the other end of it, turning toward her.
It reminded her a little of the previous night at Elisa’s house, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.
“Okay, that’s not the whole truth,” she decided to admit a moment later.
“What’s the whole truth?”
“I saw you kiss that woman, so I ran inside my house. I did have mustard on my shirt, though.”
“Gwen?”
“Huh?”
“You saw Gwen kiss me?”
“Was Gwen the one in the car with you?”
“Yes.”
“Then, yes.”
Elisa laughed and replied, “She kissed me on the cheek. She’s my sister-in-law, Myra. Well, my ex-sister-in-law now. She’s just a friend.”
“It didn’t look like a cheek kiss from where I was standing. You turned to her, too, and it looked like she straight-up kissed you. I thought we’d had a moment last night, and you had told me you hadn’t dated, but then, there was this car kiss, and I didn’t know what to do with that.”
Elisa nodded and said, “There’s no one else, okay?”
“No one else ?”
“Yeah, no one else.” Elisa laughed a little before adding, “Myra, I like you. I froze last night and couldn’t tell you.”
Myra internally sighed and asked, “You like me?”
“I do, yes. I have been flirting with you pretty non-stop since we met, and I told you some things last night that no one outside of Gwen really knows.”
“I worried that maybe I’d gone too far last night.”
“You hadn’t. I’ve just never had anyone show me any kind of actual affection like that before.
It’s not like my ex-husband wanted to be with me.
I’m not sure we’ve ever said, ‘I love you,’ and meant it how married couples are supposed to mean it.
I don’t think we’ve ever really liked each other all that much.
I came here for that fresh start, thinking I’d focus on the kids, the house, and work – in that order – but then here’s this sexy lesbian next door, who builds and fixes things, and she’s just my type.
And, oh, she’s also single and possibly likes me.
” Elisa chuckled a little. “I got scared.”
“Not possibly ,” Myra replied. “I do like you.”
“Then, go out with me,” Elisa said with a fervent nod, and that adorableness made Myra laugh.
“Just like that?”
“Yes. Why not? Do you not want to?” Elisa checked.
“I think we both might struggle with putting ourselves out there, probably for some of the same reasons. And I know I can be immature at times and not ask questions or tell someone how I feel because it’s just easier not to, causing me to assume things.”
“Like me making out with another woman in my car while you’re standing ten feet away?”
“Yes, like that.” Myra laughed a little. “Sorry. It caught me off guard. And, honestly, it hit me a little hard.”
“Gwen is like a sister to me. I’ve never nor would I ever make out with her in my car. I’ve known her since she was a pre-teen.”
“Can we maybe just agree to really talk to each other and not do this whole awkward avoidance thing we’ve been doing anymore? It’s exhausting, but I also don’t want to do that with you, Elisa. You deserve the truth and someone who can communicate with you.”
“I’d like that,” Elisa said with a smile. “So, tell me now, then. How do you feel about us maybe going out on a date?”
“I feel pretty good about it, actually,” Myra replied.
Elisa smiled and moved closer to Myra on the sofa.
“I’m sorry I froze last night.”
“I’m not,” she replied.
“You’re not?”
“No,” Myra said. “It got us here, didn’t it? I think here is a pretty important place to be.”
“Were you going to kiss me?” Elisa asked.
“Yes,” she confirmed. “But now, I get to wait until after our date to do that.”
“ Get to? Not have to?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I have to kiss you, Elisa,” Myra said as she cupped her cheek.
“But a little anticipation is a good thing, I think. Besides, I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.
And keep in mind, I haven’t been with anyone since my ex, so there might be things I’m not ready for, too. ”
“You’ll tell me those things?”
“I will,” Myra said and dropped the hand from Elisa’s cheek.
“Hey, I liked it there,” Elisa noted.
Myra laughed and said, “I’ll put it back there later. Now, I need to get to your house and start working. I left the wood outside, so not only I don’t want it to get stolen, but the rain that’s been threatening all day could start soon, so I need to at least get it inside.”
“Can I help again tonight, or will I be in the way?”
“It’s a lot of cleanup tonight before I can put the wood up, so I’ll be wearing a mask and goggles, and I think it’s best if you aren’t around. I’ll be hanging a tarp up around me. I don’t want to risk it if the mold is still around anywhere.”
“Well, you really know how to woo a girl.” Elisa smiled. “Masks. Goggles. Mold. Those are my three favorite things.”
Myra laughed and said, “I will work. You will relax. Then, tomorrow, we’ll go out instead of me working. How does that sound?”
“Tomorrow night?” Elisa asked.
“Is that okay? Will the kids be–”
“Still gone. And yes, that’s fine.”
“Do they know?” Myra asked. “I know your ex does, and Gwen, but do your kids know you’re gay?”
“I think that’s a really good topic for our first date, don’t you?” Elisa said with a soft smile.