WRAITH CASE STUDY AUGUSTA PINE
IDENTITY SECURITY DIVISION
PHONE CALL TRANSCRIPT
SIXTEEN HOURS BEFORE THE PORTLAND HOSTAGE CRISIS
AUGUSTA PINE
Okay, just tell me. What’s the job?
PREFECT
What job?
AUGUSTA PINE
The job you sent me to Portland for.
PREFECT
The hijacking wasn’t enough for you?
AUGUSTA PINE
That was on the way here. Now, what’s in Portland?
PREFECT
Beer, counterculture, and gentrification, I believe.
AUGUSTA PINE
So you’re saying there’s no job?
PREFECT
You were supposed to stay in San Francisco with me, but after the last … incident, I deemed it best to keep you out of sight of the local constabularies.
AUGUSTA PINE
I saved a life.
PREFECT
You went rogue. And caused a scene.
AUGUSTA PINE
Isn’t “vigilante” literally part of ISD’s motto?
PREFECT
“Semper vigilantes” means “Always watching.” It isn’t Latin for “nearly murder our target.”
AUGUSTA PINE
That’s so much worse, you do get that, right? And our target lived, so you can still blackmail him.
PREFECT
We are a federal agency. We do not blackmail people.
AUGUSTA PINE
I’m sorry, my mistake, I forgot your overlords were watching. [Clearing throat] You can inform him of the charges that will be leveraged against him, then offer him a plea deal in exchange for all the schematics that he stole and then put him to work creating weapons for our side.
PREFECT
You’ve become cynical, Augusta.
AUGUSTA PINE
I learned from the best. Now, what’s the job in Portland?
PREFECT
Your job is to stay quiet and safe and not set anything on fire. I’m flying up on Monday.
AUGUSTA PINE
So I’m like a piece of luggage you sent ahead.
PREFECT
Luggage doesn’t give me migraines. Did you check in to the address I sent you?
AUGUSTA PINE
You mean the sketchiest motel in the history of sketchy motels?
PREFECT
It’s not that bad.
AUGUSTA PINE
There’s a dead raccoon in the bathtub. I’m assuming it crawled in through the window that someone helpfully left open. Presumably to air out the smell of mold. And I can’t even complain to the front desk because it’s a smart motel.
PREFECT
Then get one of the robo-vacuums to remove your deceased roommate.
AUGUSTA PINE
I found a different place. Short-term rental. I’ll even use my sad excuse for a stipend to pay for it.
PREFECT
It’s only three days.
AUGUSTA PINE
Come on. I was stuck on that bus for, like, twenty-five hours. And there are blackouts scheduled this weekend. The moment the power goes out, I’ll be trapped in an AC-less motel room with a dead raccoon quietly baking in the bathtub. Even I don’t deserve that.
PREFECT
And this place you found is so much better?
AUGUSTA PINE
It has a pool.
PREFECT
You don’t swim.
AUGUSTA PINE
Yeah but I really like that chlorine smell.
PREFECT
[Audible sigh]
AUGUSTA PINE
I’m eighteen now. Technically you don’t have to babysit me anymore. Other handlers don’t babysit their wraiths.
PREFECT
You’re a walking liability.
AUGUSTA PINE
I know, that’s what you put in my birthday card last month.
PREFECT
Fine. Send me the address.
AUGUSTA PINE
Don’t pretend you aren’t looking at my tracker. You know exactly where I am.
[CALL ENDED]