CHAPTER NINE
RIPLEY
Auryn insisted on walking me into the lobby of my building before leaving.
Once I’d unlocked the door that let me access the rest of the building, he disappeared without a word.
I stood there for a few minutes, leaning against the glass that separated the lobby from the interior.
Trying to get my head on straight before I went upstairs in case Athena was home.
I struggled to wrap my mind around what just happened. Auryn had always been the goofy jokester. The guy that didn’t take anything too seriously. He made people laugh at parties and was known as a carefree stoner type. Until now.
He’d shown me another side of himself. A dark side that proved to be deadly serious. Once he saw the scars on my leg, something in him had changed. Becoming possessive and controlling in a way that shook me. Scaring me while also making me feel like someone really gave a damn.
Doing my best to smooth down my hair, I took the elevator up to my floor. Regaining my composure before I opened the door to my apartment. Pasting my polished mask in place.
Athena was already home. She reclined on the couch in the living room, her phone in one hand, the TV playing The Bachelor or something similar in the background. Even though I was tempted to rush into my bedroom and lock myself away, I was struck with the need to talk. To connect with my friend.
“How was work?” she asked, pushing herself up into a sitting position.
“I don’t know.” I dropped my purse by the door and kicked off my shoes before padding into the living room. “Jamie showed up.”
“That fucking guy never gets a clue, huh? What did you do?” She tossed her brunette ponytail behind her shoulder, a hand beneath her chin as she leaned on the arm of the couch.
I took a seat in the matching armchair, sinking into the comfortable cushion. “I treated him like any other customer. I didn’t want him to get me in shit with my boss. He followed me to the bathroom and cornered me when I came out.”
Athena swore softly, shaking her head. “Something needs to be done about that guy.”
“Something kind of was done.” I paused to choose my words. “Auryn showed up. He dragged Jamie outside. I didn’t see anything myself, but I think he may have kicked his ass. Isn’t that crazy?”
I gnawed my bottom lip, targeting a particular spot until I tasted blood. A bad anxious habit.
Athena’s jaw dropped. “Crazy would be putting it lightly. Everybody knows that Auryn is a total player. I never pictured him as the type to show up at a girl’s work and be all possessive and shit. What did you do to that boy last night?”
She broke into laughter. Pursing my lips in thought, I shook my head. I didn’t have a damn clue.
“Nothing. At least nothing I’m aware of.
He agreed to be my fake boyfriend to keep Jamie away from me.
I figured that meant he would hang around me a bit on campus or something.
I never expected him to show up at the restaurant.
” I decided not to tell her about what happened in the parking lot.
Thankfully, our window was on the opposite side of the building, so she never would’ve seen it.
“Fake boyfriend,” Athena mused. “Let me guess. Real sex though.”
My hand wandered to the marks on my throat. “Hot as hell sex. So there’s that, I guess. It’s not a terrible arrangement.”
Athena considered me for a moment before saying, “Good for you, Rips. Good for you to get yours no matter how you come by it. If I were you, I would have a crazy good time while it lasts.”
“That’s the plan. I suppose.” Having Auryn make the top of my head blow off on a regular basis definitely wasn’t something to complain about. Although I wondered how hard it would be to walk away from this when it was over. Hopefully I didn’t get attached.
My phone rang in my purse, making me spring off the chair. I pulled it out to find my mom’s name on the screen. Shit.
“It’s my mom. I’m going to take this in my bedroom. Goodnight.” I headed down the hall while Athena called after me to have a good night as well.
I wasn’t sure that was possible now that I was about to speak to the mother from hell. Closing my bedroom door, I answered the phone with a grimace.
“Hello?” I tossed my purse onto the bed, standing stiffly in the middle of the room. If my mom was calling me at this time of night, she was most likely drunk off her ass or strung out on any and everything.
“Ripley, sweetheart,” she practically shouted into the phone. “I miss you. It’s been so long since you came to visit. Are you too busy for me now?”
When I got the opportunity to move out of my mother’s house and in with Athena, I jumped all over it.
I’d been waiting a long time to escape. My mom had a tendency to swing between moods.
One day she would be over the top love bombing me.
The next she would hate my guts and call me every nasty name under the sun.
Growing up dealing with that behavior hadn’t been easy.
“Things have been crazy with work and school. Maybe after graduation I’ll have more time. Sorry.” Putting the phone on speaker, I set it down on the desk beside my bed. I began to peel off my clothes, eager to slip into something soft and comfortable.
“I had a little something come up. It set me back a few hundred bucks. Do you think you could send me some cash to hold me over?” She slurred several words, some of them so thick and distorted I barely understood her.
“I’m not sure I can swing it right now. I’m between paychecks at the moment.” Having my mother ask me for money was nothing new. She hadn’t held down a regular job in years.
There was a slight pause before she said, “Come on, kid. You owe me. You walked out and left me to fend for myself. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been? Cut me a break and give me the money.”
Now her tone took on a hard edge. I was glad I couldn’t see her face. I knew her blue eyes would be bloodshot. Glassy and unfocused. Most likely sunken from lack of proper sleep and nutrition.
“I thought you were getting government assistance. What happened to that?” I did my best to keep my tone neutral.
I didn’t judge anyone who needed assistance here and there, but my mother had been abusing the system for a long time now.
She was more than capable of fending for herself.
She simply chose not to. Preferring to spend her days and nights intoxicated.
Passing her time with those who fed her more drugs.
“It’s gone until next month. It’s barely enough to cover the rent anyway. You really screwed me when you left. Would it really hurt you to help your own mother in a time of need?” She made a noise, as if she were disgusted with this conversation.
That made two of us. We’d had similar conversations repeatedly since I moved out. I’d lost count of how much money I’d given her. Most of my tips ended up in her hands.
Wanting desperately to end this conversation, I sighed, giving in. “I’ll see what I can do tomorrow. It’s late. Goodnight.”
I ended the call before she spoke another word. Thankfully, she didn’t call back. I had a small stash of money in my purse from cash tips. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to get her a fix or two, since I knew that’s what she really wanted it for.
An uncomfortable knot in the pit of my stomach had me reaching for the pill bottle in my purse. The contents were painfully low. I popped two in my mouth before sending a text to my dealer for more. A man I met through a guy at work. He usually came through for me within a day or two.
Wrapping my robe around me, I left my room, heading to the bathroom down the hall. That’s where I found the razor I often used tucked away in my makeup bag under the sink where I left it.
I pulled the razor out, turning it over between my fingers while staring at it. Auryn’s words echoed in my head. His vicious command that I never do this again.
He really didn’t understand that it wasn’t so simple. Part of me needed to do it. To find the release that only came when I felt the sting of the blade.
For a long time, I simply stared at the razor. Feeling the cold metal between my fingertips. With a long shuddery breath, I placed it back in my makeup bag under the sink and returned to my bedroom.
Once the pills kicked in, I would feel a little better anyway. I just needed to sleep and forget about everything for a while.