27. Chapter 27
Chapter 27
I opened my eyes slightly, noticing the darkness as well as the stinging feeling in my eyes. After an intense cry, my eyes were always dry, red, and sore the next morning—sometimes even longer—and this time was no different. I pulled the bed covers up to my neck, the way I always slept, and turned onto my side.
Surprised to see the early hour on my bedside clock, I remembered I’d gone to bed super early. Remembering the wine bottle I’d finished, I sat up slowly in bed, anticipating a piercing headache.
Pleasantly surprised by how not hungover I felt, I stepped onto the floor and walked over to where my slippers were half hidden under a pile of running clothes.
After slowly plodding through my morning bathroom routine, I returned to sit on my bed and look at my phone. Ellen had texted and sent several emails, and I had more unanswered texts from my mother and sister. All of them could wait.
In the kitchen, I turned the coffee pot on and sat down to wait. I felt very strange—fully aware of everything that had happened yesterday, but lacking any desire to dwell on it or overanalyze it or anything else I’d usually do. Instead, I thought about running. Or working. Or cleaning my apartment, which was long overdue. I was up early; I might as well do something productive. Who am I? I thought with a half-smile.
Coffee in hand, I sunk into my desk chair and opened my laptop to the manuscript I’d been editing.
Only minutes later, I leaned back and sighed. I could lose myself in work, but why should I? The thought was particularly unappealing when I considered who I was working for. I no longer had any respect for Brandon, and I wasn’t sure Ellen could be trusted anymore.
Could I even work for Bolder anymore, given everything that had happened? Even if I avoided the office so I never or rarely had to see any of them again, I’d still be working for a company whose president was a womanizer, among other things.
Then again, I didn’t want to make any rash decisions. I needed to work; I only had six months of living expenses in my savings account, at most.
Feeling restless, I gazed out the window, where the sun was rising. I squinted and saw old Samuel ambling toward a bush. The man walked even more slowly than he talked, yet there he was, fetching Elouise’s cat again. I tried to block out the thoughts that arose, thoughts about love and friendship and devotion, how it seemed to come naturally to some people, yet seemed so unlikely for others.
I’d take some time off from work.
Starting now.
Ellen would be annoyed about having to reassign my current project, but I didn’t care. If Ellen was any friend at all, she would understand.
With that decision made, I fired off a quick email to Ellen, letting her know I’d be taking time off from contracting for Bolder, starting today. I didn’t bother to read any of Ellen’s emails sitting in my inbox.
Finishing the last sips of my now-cold coffee, I snapped my laptop closed and stood up, resolved to start the day with a run. As I dressed for the run, I cringed at the thought of running into Jack out on the trail. Although my emotions were no longer running wild today, I wasn’t ready to face him. Not even close to ready. I needed to somehow teleport out of my apartment.
Then again, there was no reason I had to run on the same old trails—I could try a new one. The city and surrounding area boasted many trails that I’d always wanted to try but never had, being the creature of habit that I was.
With that decision made, I smiled and finished lacing up my shoes, grabbing my water bottle and purse since I’d be driving to the trail head. My smile faltered though when I thought of the possibility of seeing Jack in the hallway, in the stairwell, or in the lobby. I would sprint to the elevator, which Jack never took. We lived on the third floor, after all, not the ninth. And he was in pretty good physical shape. I squeezed my eyes shut at the image of his well-toned body that suddenly sprang to mind, a thought I couldn’t recall having until recently. It’s natural, I consoled myself. I was just being extra weird and sensitive to things right now. There was nothing wrong with admiring a man’s form.
I shook my head to clear the thoughts and resolved to think only about running. Or nature.
After a long, satisfying run, I took my time stretching before getting into the car to drive home. On the new-to-me trail by a nearby lake, I felt exhilarated by the peaceful morning view and by a rare run where nothing hurt. I liked running, most of the time, but distance running—at least for me—usually meant that something hurt or felt sore, at least in the second half of the miles. But today, I felt no aches or pains. Just a runner’s high, which hadn’t happened in a while. Random? Most likely.
I’d initially feared that running for an hour and a half alone would bring on feelings of self-pity or other thoughts that were even less appealing, but the newness of my surroundings kept me engaged and somehow prevented me from overthinking, my default.
Upon arriving home, I strolled through the lobby and felt my lips curved into a smile. This was why I’d fallen in love with running years ago—because of blissful feelings like this.
I pressed the elevator button and waited. The elevator was safer than the staircase today.
When the doors opened, my smile faded, and I gasped.
Jack .
I quickly moved aside as he stepped out, meeting my eyes tentatively.
Neither of us spoke at first.
“Hi,” I said hoarsely. “I was just getting back from a run.”
Yeah, obviously . Given the running clothes and sweat.
I wanted to ask him why he’d taken the elevator, but then it would be obvious that I’d done so in hopes of avoiding him.
“Hello,” he said, looking past me toward the exit. “I’m sorry, I–I really can’t stay and chat, as I’m late for a work meeting.”
I raised my eyebrows. Jack was never late for anything. Never. Unless I made him late. Still, I was relieved to end this conversation before it really began. “Oh, no problem. I’ve got a lot to do. Starting with a shower,” I said, laughing nervously as I pointed to my running clothes. “Captain Obvious here.”
He nodded slightly as he glanced around the lobby area. When his eyes finally met mine, I couldn’t read his expression. “You seem well, Vivi. I’m glad. Well, I must be off.”
I swallowed with some effort and nodded, pressing the button again on the elevator that had already left without me. “Sure. I, uh—have a nice day, Jack,” I said, biting my upper lip as my eyes darted to the elevator door anxiously.
He started to step away and then turned back quickly. “Vivi—”
I whirled around, my breath catching as my eyes landed on his and then, for some reason, his mouth. “Yes?”
After a long moment, he made eye contact, again with an unreadable expression. “I wanted to let you know, uh, this week is crazy for me with work, so I’m not sure if I can meet up for any runs or, you know, so … I mean, I’ll stick to the training schedule, but I’ll probably have to run at odd times depending on what the rest of my day looks like, so you—I mean, I—”
He wants space.
I held up my hand to interrupt. “Got it. It’s OK, Jack. My week is crazy busy too.” Thankfully, the elevator door opened just then, and I walked in quickly before turning back with a quick wave and an attempted smile. “Have a nice day, Jack!”
A vague expression of pain crossed his face—emotional pain? Or perhaps a headache. Maybe pity again. He inclined his head slightly as the elevator door closed.
I sighed and absently rubbed my chest, which felt tight. Heartsick.
Rolling my eyes, I muttered, “Stop being so dramatic.” Once out of the elevator, I started down the hall toward my door.
Well, that wasn’t great, but it could’ve been worse, much worse. I handled myself pretty well, apart from that little white lie at the end, where I claimed to have a lot to do. I wasn’t crazy busy, or even slightly busy. In fact, I had no idea what I was going to do with myself this week.