25. Chapter 25
I was never more grateful that I’d moved into an office with a door I could close, rather than an open cubicle where anyone could come upon me.
Slinking into the office with a takeout lunch in my bag, I’d gone straight to my office and, fortunately, hadn’t run into Kylan or anyone else on my way in.
He probably wasn’t even in the office today; I hadn’t seen him or any of the leadership team that morning.
I knew there’d been an off-site leadership event planned for sometime this week—maybe it was today.
Having closed my door firmly and set my sandwich on the desk next to me, I opened a blank document on my computer and breathed in deeply.
But after staring at the screen for several minutes, I hadn’t written a word.
Perhaps I should read the famous letter from Persuasion as inspiration, even though I wasn’t convinced my love story was going to end like Anne Elliot’s.
I wasn’t that optimistic about my chances of success, despite feeling determined to try and then live with the consequences.
“He’s worth the risk,” I whispered. My decision was made.
Finding Captain Wentworth’s famous letter online was easy, and I choked up while reading it .
I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach.
You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.
Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever.
I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it…
I had to stop reading, or else the tears would freefall. I needed to keep my wits about me to write this letter.
Or maybe I should just talk to him in person. Or a phone call?
No, if Viviana says I should write a letter, I should write a letter.
If anyone knows romantic overtures, it’s Viv.
It would also save my dignity a bit, in case he thought my feelings ridiculous or offensive.
Oh, who am I kidding? My dignity, or what’s left of it, has no chance of survival after this .
My fingers trembled. This wasn’t just a letter. This was everything I hadn’t said in four years, and it had to be enough.
With a bittersweet chuckle, I began to write, but this time I put pen to paper. Crisp, white paper. No more impersonal documents on a computer.
This time, the words flowed out of me, onto the page. Some of Wentworth’s, but mostly my own. I was stopping to reread my last sentence, over halfway down the page, when suddenly my office door burst open, rattling the hinges.
I nearly jumped out of my skin, dropping the inky pen on the paper. I looked up, and my breath caught as my heart did flips and sprints. “Ky–Kylan,” I managed, barely able to speak.
He. Was. Here.
I blinked, and for a second I wasn’t in my office—I was twenty-two again, standing outside the campus library, watching him walk away with his jaw clenched and his heart breaking. I never let myself linger on that memory. Until now .
This man I loved studied me for a long moment. As though he’d been running, he seemed out of breath as his steps slowed, but he continued in the direction of my desk. “I was hoping you’d be here.”
My heart lodged in my throat.
This was it.
He stopped in front of my desk. “Annie, I–”
“I am half agony–”
“Half hope,” he said.
I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth. As he stood just feet away, I saw moisture pooling in his eyes. Those beautiful grey eyes.
“Can it be?” I whispered, standing up on shaky legs. When he swallowed and started to nod, the corners of my mouth turned up slightly. “Only half?”
His intense expression turned to one of confusion.
“Only half hope?” I clarified, putting a hand on my hip.
He nodded slowly as his shoulders relaxed. But instead of speaking, he walked around the desk, never breaking eye contact.
This better be the kiss of all kisses.
I licked my lips, but he merely took my hands gently after stopping in front of me. Our eyes had locked since the moment he barged into the room. “Annie York, you pierce my soul.”
I let go of his hands, throwing them up in the air. “I was going to use that line! I was writing you a letter. See?” I pointed to the desk. “You ruined my dramatic moment,” I said with a watery laugh, wiping at my eyes. “I was finally going to be brave.”
He stepped closer. “You are brave, Annie. You always were. I just didn’t know if you still wanted me.”
“I do,” I whispered. “So much.”
Kylan’s gaze dropped to the letter on my desk, and he smiled, the kind of smile I hadn’t seen in so long. Four long years.
“I love you, and I always have,” he said. “I loved you when we were just college kids, and I love you even more as the woman you’ve become. Annie, there wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you,” he said quietly. “But I had to learn how to live without you, or I thought I did.”
My knees went weak, and I had to lean against the desk. I’d dreamed of hearing those words, but I never imagined they’d still hit with the same force, the same wonder.
“I have loved none but you,” I said with a smile, quoting Wentworth again. “I thought you’d never forgive me—that you’d never give me another chance. Even when I convinced myself I was over you, I wasn’t. Far from it. You’re the one, Kylan.”
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
I placed my hand on his chest. “Now, kiss me before I change my mind.”
But as he leaned in, I pulled back and licked my lips. “Better yet, let’s go close those curtains and lock the door. I plan on making up for four lost years—starting now.”
“Hell yes,” he said with a husky laugh. “Yet another reason I’m glad you were promoted with your own office.”
I turned back after closing the curtains. “Then again, you probably have a more comfortable office. We could go there—”
“I can’t wait that long, love,” he said just before our mouths and bodies collided in a kiss so sweet, so perfect in every way that I’d remember it every day for the rest of my life.
“Well, I bet Anne Elliot never did that with her captain,” I said while grinning and putting on my cardigan. “And I bet Laina’s office has never seen this kind of action before.”
Kylan laughed. “True, on both counts. Well, actually, Austen’s Anne and Frederick would’ve been passionate kissers—and then lovers, once they married. Don’t you think?”
I considered this for a moment. “I suppose. I’m still in a state of disbelief, Kylan. That I have you back … Hey, I have an idea! Maybe Viviana’s next book could be inspired by us. Since she wrote her first book based on both Austen and her real-life love story, you know?”
His face was pensive as he slipped on his shoes.
“Maybe. I’d have to pass her along to another agent though, or else that would be really awkward.
” He laughed but then turned serious. “We should probably talk about work though. Talk to HR. I mean, our relationship—that is, assuming you want to be with me—” Doubt flickered across his face.
I elbowed him. “Of course I do. But you’re right. How terrible does that look, getting promoted right before I start dating the boss?”
“We’ll figure it out. I can always quit.” He grinned at the shock on my face. “What, it’s just a job.”
“ Just a job?” I echoed. “You’ve worked so hard, and you’ve been wildly successful. Hardly just a job.”
“But I got the girl. That’s all I really wanted.”
I stared at this man, the only one I’d ever wanted. Words were hard. “I … you … this was—all for me?” When he nodded, I clasped his hands and whispered, “I love you, Kylan. You were always enough for me, just you. I should’ve told you that.” I paused with a soft smile. “You and Charlie.”
I chuckled at his suddenly thunderous expression. “You haven’t met my cat yet.” He narrowed his eyes, and I smiled. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not, but that’s one of the things I love about you.
When it comes to joy, you’re unapologetic.
You’ve so much more joy than I think you ever realized.
” When he captured my lips in another kiss, this one was soft and slow, tender and full of longing, all the longing of ages.
As I tried to pull him closer, he broke the kiss and gently pushed back.
“Wait, I wanted to share some news. I have a publisher interested in Viviana’s book.
You’re the first to know. I was going to tell her tonight.
We could even do it together if you want. ”
I squealed. “That’s such great news! She’ll be so happy and—oh, I have news about her too. She proposed to Jack. And obviously he said yes. They’re getting married!”
Kylan smiled. “Good for them. Always knew they’d end up together. ”
“You did? Wow. Anyway, uh, so you two are cool then? You don’t … resent her?” I bit my lip, still nervous whenever the subject was my past mistake, all the hurt I must have caused him.
“Not at all. She was just looking out for you, and I love that. I mean, I didn’t always feel that way, of course, but we’re friends now.”
I couldn’t stop looking at him, every bit of that handsome face, the face of love. My mouth curved into a grin. “Good, because you’re going to be my date for their wedding, you know. In Duluth.”
“Duluth, eh? Isn’t that where her new friend lives? Jill something, who visited recently?”
“Jane Alton, yeah, she’s from Duluth. An Austen fan just like Viviana. She’s pretty cool actually.” My breath caught as he stepped closer. He didn’t need to say anything—his eyes, full of something unspoken and sure, said it all. I swallowed. “I, uh, I think you’ll like Jane when you meet.”
“Looking forward to it, love, but the last thing I want to do is talk about Viviana and her friend. Or anyone else but you.” His eyes flashed in that I-burn-for-you way before landing on my lips. “Kiss me again, my sassy Annie Elliot.”