Chapter NINE
I was ridiculously excited the night of the party.
I’d taken extra care with my hair and make-up, then I’d stepped into my new dress and looked in the full-length mirror. And I’d marvelled at how different I looked when I was . . . happy? I felt like a young girl in my eagerness to see Mark again.
I arrived at the party venue to find that Fiona was there, too. It hadn’t occurred to me that she’d be invited along with Mark.
But Fiona seemed really nice and the three of us chatted away about life in New Zealand. Her boyfriend, Clive, was still suffering jet lag so she’d left him at the hotel watching TV.
I could see that Fiona and Mark were still really fond of one another, which was also a bit of a surprise. In my experience, however ‘friendly’
people were resolved to be after divorce, it never quite worked out that way. The bitterness tended to linger, for a while at least.
But with Mark and Fiona, they were laughing and teasing each other as if they were still a couple. I tried to push down the disappointment I was feeling at the way the evening was panning out, but my heart ached to revisit the intimacy of my first lovely meeting with Mark.
Escaping to the Ladies, I gave myself a stern talking to in the mirror.
Mark was a warm and friendly person. He was like this with everyone. I’d made the stupid mistake of reading far too much into those precious hours we’d spent together after we’d bumped into each other on the high street. Realistically, the most I could hope for was that we should decide to stay in touch when he flew back to New Zealand.
My chin wobbled a little. But I drew in a deep breath and smiled at myself in the mirror. Whatever happened, the show must go on. Everything was going to be fine!
It was as well I’d prepared myself emotionally, because as I left the Ladies and walked back into the function room, I suddenly glimpsed Mark and Fiona in what could only be described as a rather intimate encounter.
They were standing by a pillar, watching the band, and I saw Mark gently pull back Fiona’s blonde hair, exposing her long, elegant neck and leaning close. She turned towards him, laughing, and then he was fastening something around her neck. A necklace? She turned and faced him, smiling. Then she reached up and kissed him. They looked so happy together in that moment, I wanted to cry . . .
And oh, the guilty look on Mark’s face when he realised I was on my way back and had seen the loving little gestures that had passed between them!
I felt like such a fool.
It was clear that he and Fiona were still mighty close. He was still buying her jewellery, for goodness’
sake! Had I really thought I could compete with that level of long-standing affection, which included the daughter they shared plus two beautiful grandchildren?
As I quickly made a plan in my head, I told myself I was really happy for Mark. Maybe he and Fiona would get back together again during this visit? But even if they didn’t, it was the last time I’d be so foolish as to imagine a life for myself that was never going to happen. Because that’s what I’d been doing over the past few days, I realised.
I should have known that giving in to my feelings was far too risky.
But in a way, I was also happy for myself, because it meant nothing had to change. Change was also scary. But now, I could go on living in my lovely house, seeing Cora and Ryan occasionally, and working hard at growing my business.
Not having to make compromises for a partner was a relief . . . really, such a big relief!
So I’d gone back into the Ladies and checked my make-up, standing tall in the mirror, then I’d gone out to find Sylvia to thank her for the wonderful party. When I rejoined Fiona and Mark, I told them that sadly, I was going to have to go home because I feared I was coming down with a migraine.
They’d both looked concerned but I quickly said my goodbyes and headed for the door before my emotions had a chance to start leaking out.
Mark rushed after me, calling my name, and I was forced to turn around and conjure up a smile from somewhere. I felt so vulnerable at that moment.
But the box that must have held Fiona’s necklace fell out of his pocket and in the time it took for him to bend and retrieve it, I managed to pull myself together, snapping back into TV personality mode. The cool, calm and collected version.
I’d been living in a dream for the past few days. But this was real life. And actually, my life was pretty good, thank you very much! So when Mark asked me if I’d like to have dinner with him again some time, I thanked him politely and told him I was really busy for the next week but that I’d call him if I had any free time before he went back to New Zealand.
He asked if I was all right, looking a little bemused by my cool response to his invitation. And I’d told him I was tired and needed an early night to shake off the migraine, but that it had been so lovely to see him after all this time.
I’d forced another smile and kissed his cheek.
‘Take care of yourself, Mark,’
I’d said with a little wave, and as I’d walked away, my heart was breaking into a million pieces.
‘See you again in another thirty years!’
Fen