Chapter 20 Hanlon
Hanlon
As I lay in bed last night, my mind racing, I thought of a million different ways this thing between us could play out. Most of them were not good. But the one that gave me the most peace was accepting that this is messy, potentially disastrous, and absolutely what I want.
Will it last forever? Probably not.
Do I want to look back and feel like I wasted an opportunity to love a man I’ve loved my whole life in a new way? Definitely not.
Stone has been my guiding light for a long time.
Our foundation was laid years ago, and although it’s taken some hits, there have been several moments since I’ve moved out here that have me convinced it’s still intact.
I’m willing to repair the damage if he is.
“Stone,” I say, pulling his attention off my abs, where he’s currently drawing random shapes over the ridges.
“Hmm?” he hums.
“We should talk about expectations and comfort levels because if you keep doing that, I’m going to put your dick in my mouth while I jerk myself off.”
Stone’s eyes snap to mine, and I see the heat in them.
Oh, he likes that idea.
“Then again, maybe I’ll do it anyway,” I tell him, sitting up, gauging his reaction as I roll him onto his back.
Since discovering that Stone seems like a pretty good fit in the demi category, and knowing his experience is nonexistent, I fully expect to drive the physical aspect of this crazy train.
Sliding down his body, I pepper kisses along his bare stomach and find myself once again toying with the waistband of his sweatpants.
Pulling them down just enough to expose the start of the dark hair that frames his cock, I run my nose through it, inhaling deeply.
Stone’s dick twitches under my chin.
“Is this okay?” I ask again.
“Mm hmm,” he hums. He’s wound tightly, jaw clenched, eyes closed.
“Stone, look at me,” I command, smiling when his eyes land on mine.
“Relax. We never have to tell anyone about this. What we do in this house is no one’s business but our own.
I want your dick in my mouth too fucking much to care how taboo that desire is, and I want you to enjoy this; not be wracked with guilt or shame.
So, if you’re not there yet, you need to let me know. ”
“No, please don’t stop,” he says, running a hand through my hair. “I’m fine. I promise. It’s not that it’s you that’s freaking me out. It’s just been like a really long time since anyone sucked my dick.”
“How long is really long?”
“Um, high school?” He phrases it like a question.
“Clarissa Jenkins was the last person to have this dick in their mouth?” I practically screech.
“Uhhh…yeah?” he says, eyes narrowed, like ‘How do you know that?’
“I overheard you talking to Ben about it. We shared a paper-thin bedroom wall back then, remember?”
He smacks his forehead with his palm. “You must think I’m such a loser.”
Pulling his hand away, I lean up to kiss his palm.
“I don’t. Sexuality is a spectrum, Stone. People fall all over the place, and can move around on it, too. Did I expect you to have been a little more promiscuous? Yes, but that’s a shitty assumption on my part. Just because you’re hot as fuck doesn’t translate into wanting sex all the time.”
“But you do?” Stone asks nervously, like he’s not sure he can provide what I need.
Silly man.
“I enjoy sex, yes. But I don’t ever want you to do more than you’re comfortable with. I’d never forgive myself if I pushed you into something you’re not ready for.”
Stone’s eyes darken, and his jaw unclenches at my words. “Maybe we could try the blowjob and see how it goes?”
“That’s a splendid idea,” I say with a smile. “Put your hands in my hair. Tap my head twice if you want me to stop, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” he breathes through parted lips.
With the green light being given, I’m a man on a fucking mission.
Nipping the sensitive skin at Stone’s hip with my lips and tongue, I tease his growing erection through his sweatpants and boxers, making sure to turn him on to the point of desperation before releasing his cock from its confines.
“You smell so fucking good,” I praise, trying to put him at ease. “I can’t wait to find out how you taste. To have you spill down the back of my throat.”
“Christ, Hanlon. Where’d you learn to talk like that?” he asks before quickly adding, “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
I smile at the hint of jealousy in his voice.
“It’s just how I feel, baby.” He tenses briefly at the pet name, but relaxes again as I press my open mouth to his erection and blow hot air through his sweats.
It’s been shockingly easy to transition from brother to lover in my mind. Once I’d settled on giving this a try, it’s like there was a tear in the fabric of our story, and everything that happens from this point on is written with an entirely different pen.
This time it’s about choosing each other because we want to, instead of tolerating each other because we’re forced to.
Suddenly, his grip on my hair tightens, and he’s dragging my head up his body. I briefly think he’s changing his mind until I realize he pulled me just high enough to reach his bare skin again. Now he’s pushing me back down, trying to get my lips lower.
“I like it when you’re greedy, Stone. Show me what you want.”
He flexes his hips toward my face.
I don’t waste any time hooking my fingers in the waistband of his sweats and boxers one last time, dragging them down his thighs.
As soon as his cock springs free, my mouth fills with saliva.
“Oh, fuck, yes.”
Goddamn, I love a good dick.
I toss his pants and boxers over the edge of the bed and resume my position with my head between Stone’s legs.
“Is it…is it okay?” he asks self-consciously.
“This dick is going to be the death of me,” I answer honestly. “How the fuck am I supposed to get any work done being within fifteen feet of this thing all day?”
Before he can respond, I run my tongue along his shaft, savoring his flavor and the feel of him. I want to learn every sound he makes and draw them out of him repeatedly.
When I run the flat of my tongue across the slit, his back bows off the bed, and his hands are back to pushing my head down.
“Jesus Christ,” he hisses. I can’t tell whether it’s a prayer or a plea.
Using one hand to brace myself, I use my other to grab his balls and tug gently, forcing his hips off the bed in pleasure again.
I take one last languid lick from his balls to his crown before engulfing him with my mouth.
“Ungh!” he grunts, thrusting up, making me gag. “Shit! Sorry, Han.”
I hum around his shaft, letting him know I’m okay.
More than okay. I fucking loved it.
Without taking my mouth off him, I adjust, settling on my knees better so I can bob faster on his cock.
I feel him swell quickly, and when I sit my weight on my heels so I can use my bracing hand to pump his spit-slicked shaft, he stammers a warning.
“Han, I’m gonna…we didn’t talk about cond…oh, fuck…you need to move…fuck fuck fuck.”
It’s the sexiest sentence I’ve ever heard.
I drink him down eagerly.
No, we didn’t talk about condoms, but the last time this dick got any attention outside of Stone’s hand was nine years ago.
It’s a risk I’m willing to take in order to be able to swallow him down and have part of him inside me.
I lick him clean, not wasting a drop as his cock begins to deflate a few seconds later.
When I look up at him, both of his hands are covering his face.
“Hey, don’t hide from me,” I tell him, tugging on one of his wrists. “Was that too much?”
“I’ve never come like that in my life,” he says instead of answering my question.
“Like, that fast? Or that much?” I ask, trying to clarify.
“Either? Both?”
I grin at him. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” Reaching over the side of the bed, I grab his pants and boxers, tossing them to him.
“How’d you get me naked without losing a single article of your own clothes?” he pouts.
“You were too distracted to take them off me,” I tease.
“I won’t make that mistake twice.”
My heart flips in my chest.
“So, we’re doing this?” I confirm.
“I’m not really sure I can stop it after that.”
I lick my lips, taking him in, already counting down the minutes until I can have him again. My dick is so hard it fucking hurts.
“But Han?” he says, drawing my attention back to his face.
“Yeah?”
“You can’t look at me like that when other people are around,” he says, mirroring my words from earlier.
“Like what?” I ask innocently.
“You know…like you want to suck my soul out of my body via my dick.”
“But what if I do want to suck your soul out through your dick?” I ask, grabbing him by the waist as he tries to stand from the bed, pulling him flush against me so I can grind my cock against him.
“Then you’d better learn to fake it, or wear a mask and tinted goggles at all times.”
I bark out a laugh.
“At least the layers will provide some additional help in hiding my constant state of arousal,” I say, pumping my hips back and forth to drag my cock along his thigh.
“Oh, shit. You didn’t get off,” he says, sounding panicked for some reason.
“It’s okay, Stone. It’s not tit-for-tat. I can take care of myself.”
“Can I…” he trails off.
“However that sentence was going to end, the answer is yes,” I tell him, reaching over my head to pull my shirt off, hoping to entice him to touch me.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” he says, vulnerability flashing in his eyes.
“Do you want my help?”
“Yes, please.” His mouth says yes, but the tension in his shoulders gives away his nervousness.
“How about we start with a handjob? Am I correct in assuming you’ve never touched another guy’s dick before?”
Stone nods.
“It’s really easy,” I say, grabbing his right hand. Holding my joggers open, I guide his hand into my pants. I’m not wearing boxers, so that makes things a little easier. I let him feel around before laying eyes on me—one thing at a time.
His thumb grazes the underside of my cock, and he freezes.
“Uh, Hanlon?”
I can’t keep the smile from my face.
“Yes, Stone?” I say, dipping my head to kiss that spot under his ear again.
“The fuck is that?”
“Take my pants off and find out,” I whisper.
He quickly divests me of my pants and moves around on the bed on his knees to inspect the barbell piercing my flesh.
“When the fuck did you get that?”
I shrug. “Three years ago. My rebellious phase.”
He runs a thumb across it, causing my whole body to shiver.
“Feel good?” he asks, not taking his eyes off my cock.
“Oh, yeah.”
He does it again.
“You got lube in here somewhere?” I ask, praying the answer is yes.
“Top drawer,” he says, already moving to pull it open.
After he gets a decent amount in his palm, I cover his hand with mine, using it to stroke my shaft, needing immediate release. “Swipe it with your thumb on the upstroke,” I coach him.
He gets the hang of it quickly, and before long, my fingernails are leaving marks in his shoulders as lightning cracks down my spine.
“Oh, fuck, yes, Stone. Just like that.”
My balls are so fucking full they ache to be touched, so I reach down to pull on them myself, not wanting to overload Stone with to-do tasks. He’s doing just fine, focusing on the first one.
But the added sensation is all it takes.
His thumb swipes over the barbell one more time, and I can’t even get two words out.
“Stone,” is all I manage before I erupt, covering his hand in cum.
He continues to stroke me, not backing away from the mess, until my hypersensitive cock demands that he do so.
I flop back onto the bed, unaware of when I had sat up to get a better view.
“That’s seriously how we should wake up every morning,” I declare.
“So, that was all right then?” Stone asks.
I’m not used to his insecure side. Not wanting him to dwell on it, and deciding we’ve had enough serious moments for one morning, I playfully ask, “Have you ever come from not being turned on?”
His smile and the shake of his head let me know I’ve said the right thing.
“Come on, let’s grab breakfast. I’m starving, and I need to call Dad back. You can say hi,” Stone says, finally sliding off the bed.
“You go on ahead. I’m going to clean up. I, uh, haven’t told them I’m staying with you,” I tell him, reaching for my pants, but not bothering to put them on just yet.
His face falls. “Oh, okay.”
“I just, if this didn’t work out, I didn’t want to have to explain why I moved back into the apartment, you know?”
“Right. That makes sense. And I actually appreciate that, because we both know I’d get about fifty phone calls demanding I bring you back,” he laughs.
“Exactly. Besides, I sort of sold them on letting me apply for internships out west by touting my need to find independence.”
Stone cocks a brow at me. “I thought you didn’t apply to come here?”
“I didn’t,” I say immediately, because it’s the truth. “But I did apply to places in Colorado and Utah. I assume the internship committee saw I was willing to travel based on the locations I did select, and placed me out here when the others got filled.”
“Okay,” Stone nods. “Go get changed. I’ll make the call solo and start on breakfast.”