Chapter 39
Stone
The first thought I have is that I’m pretty sure I’m alive.
The second is that everything fucking hurts.
Blinking my eyes open, they land on Logan.
“Hey there, Sunshine,” he says. His voice is too tight to be teasing, and the worry lines on his forehead tell me I may not be dead, but it’s not all good news, either.
My next thought is the most important one.
“H…Han…” I can’t get his name out. Fuck, it hurts to talk.
Logan grimaces, but I can tell he tries to hide it.
Oh God, no. If something happened to him, send me back out on that mountain and leave me to die.
I have no fucking clue how I ended up here. The last thing I remember is being tossed around like a rag doll in a crushing snow globe. But all that can wait.
“Hanlon?” I force myself to say, even though it feels like my internal organs are being tickled with glass when I do.
Logan’s eyes cut somewhere to my right, but when I try to turn my head, a sharpness that makes me see stars and suck in a breath stops me immediately.
“Talk,” I command in a raspy voice.
“Hanlon’s in the ICU in a medically induced coma.
He’s stable, but he suffered a life-threatening amount of cerebral edema from struggling for oxygen for so long.
Although the altitude wasn’t that severe, his compromised lung capacity and weakened diaphragm made it impossible to get what he needed.
How could you not tell us…tell me, he has cerebral palsy, Stone? His death would have been on my hands!”
“Why…was he…struggling to breathe?” I ask, not following.
“Well, the cold and altitude, coupled with his physical exertion from digging you out, made it next to impossible for him. The doctors were…” he trails off, clearly not wanting to upset me, but I need to hear it.
“Finish.”
Logan’s eyes snap to mine, and he blows out a breath before continuing.
“They were surprised he was still alive when we brought him in.”
The heart rate monitor I’m hooked to begins beeping wildly as my chest constricts painfully and a sob tears from my throat.
Logan grabs my hand and carefully sits on the edge of my bed.
“Shh, it’s okay. Chase is upstairs with him. Hanlon’s going to pull through. He’s the toughest sonofabitch I’ve ever met.”
The realization of his words washes over me like a tidal wave, threatening to pull me under all over again. Once I get myself under control enough to try to speak through the glass again, I clarify.
“Hanlon found me?”
Logan nods.
“When we lost you guys, Hanlon grabbed the last set of snowmobile keys and was determined to get to you. I knew that wasn’t going to go well, and if he triggered another avalanche, we’d never find you guys, so, uh, I flew him to your last known location.
” Logan looks away because he correctly guesses that I’m going to be irate that he put Hanlon in danger.
“How could you do that?” I want to yell, but I physically can’t. Maybe it’s for the best since this is the most Logan and I have talked in weeks.
“I didn’t know!” Logan says emphatically. “Besides, Stone, I would’ve sacrificed everyone on that stupid fucking mountain to get you home, including Hanlon and myself. Hanlon felt the same way.”
“I love him so much,” I choke out, clutching Logan’s arm, making my heart rate monitor spike, which causes a severe-looking nurse to enter my room.
“Mr. Addario, I’m glad to see you’re awake, but I need you to take some deep breaths for me and calm down, or I’ll have to sedate you.”
“No, please,” I whisper. “Can you update me on Hanlon Winchester?”
The nurse looks to Logan for clarification that I’m allowed access to this information.
Logan nods.
“He was brought in by Ricochet Ski Patrol. Last I heard, he was in ICU room 324. Are you family?”
With a snort, Logan answers, “In so many ways it would make your head spin,” but for once, there’s no bite in his words.
“He’s my brother,” I answer, knowing it’s the relationship that stands the best chance of giving me the access I need.
The nurse turns to the rolling cart housing her computer and pulls up Hanlon’s chart.
“His most recent scan shows the swelling in his brain has gone down slightly. Not as fast as we’d like, but the fact that it’s going down at all is promising. Of course, we don’t know what permanent effect it’ll have until we can wake him up.”
Images of the look of determination on Hanlon’s ten-year-old face fill my mind.
His laugh of glee every time he got a hot chocolate mustache when he was seven.
His smile of gratitude when Dad and Lana gave him his first telescope for his ninth birthday.
His look of wonder and hero worship every time I came back home for the holidays.
My stomach twists with regret, wishing I had gotten my head out of my ass sooner.
“Can I see him?” I ask.
The nurse purses her lips at me.
“Honey, you have two fractured vertebrae, a tibial nail holding your shin together, you can’t walk, and because of the cast on your arm, you can’t use a wheelchair or crutches.
Your nose is broken, and you’re lucky they could stop the internal bleeding.
Most people who get hurled against a tree trunk at forty miles an hour wouldn’t live to talk about it. ”
“What if I wheel him up there?” Logan asks while I’m trying to process the severity of everything the nurse just told me about my injuries.
“Very carefully, of course. Honestly, Nurse Easton, putting them together would probably be the best thing you could do to encourage both of their recoveries. I can guarantee Hanlon will be able to tell Stone is near him, and I’d be willing to bet Stone’s presence will have a positive effect on Hanlon’s edema. ”
She sucks on her cheek. It’s obvious she doesn’t like this idea, but is mulling it over because of Logan’s words about Hanlon’s recovery—which I appreciate more than he’ll ever know.
“Give me a second,” she says and exits the room.
“Thank you,” I tell Logan, a little more calmly, with the prospect of being able to see Hanlon.
“For what?” he scoffs. “Almost killing the love of your life?”
“For risking yours and saving mine,” I clarify, squeezing his hand where it continues to rest on my arm. “How is everyone else?”
“A little banged up and bruised, but thanks to you sending them down when you did, they all made it. One of the backcountry skiers was dead by the time their group was located. The others made it, but barely.”
That’s tragic, but it could have been much worse. Unfortunately, death is a risk of playing in such a dangerous environment.
I simply nod before asking, “Are you really leaving at the end of the season?”
Now, it’s Logan’s turn to nod as he pulls his hands from my grasp. “Yeah, man. It’s time. There’s nothing for me in Ricochet.”
Before I can respond, Nurse Easton reenters my room, followed by two more people in scrubs, and begins disconnecting me from all the machines.
“I’ve gotten approval to move your bed to his room. Mr. Winchester’s room is a corner unit and can accommodate the second bed, if you’re sure you won’t mind the extra beeping and whirring of his machines?”
“I won’t mind,” I answer immediately, my voice still raspy and damaged from the cold.
Ten minutes later, Logan is holding the door to Hanlon’s room open while the team of nurses pushes me inside, and my whole world tilts on its axis.
An anguished cry rings throughout the room. Based on the way everyone is looking at me, Chase included, I guess the sound came from me.
“Closer. Please,” I beg, needing to touch him.
They place my bed as close as they can while still leaving room for the staff to access Hanlon from all sides.
I still can’t reach him, nor can I turn my head to see him, but knowing we’re breathing the same air eases some of the pressure in my chest.
Logan rolls a tray between our beds, puts an extra pillow on it, and very gently places Hanlon’s forearm on top of it.
The first thing I notice is how tightly curled his fingers are. It’s not a great sign since he should be relaxed enough to allow the tightness to release.
Slowly, I reach my hand over, and my stomach clenches when I wrap my fingers around his.
Not caring who hears me since Chase and Logan already know everything, I start whispering to Hanlon.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. You saved me, Skittles.
You saved me, and now I’m here, so you can’t leave me.
Do you understand?” The silence is too much, so I start talking again.
“I never wanted to be rescued if it meant losing you. Please, baby. I’m not scared anymore.
My job is just a job. Anyone on my team will vouch for your internship.
Our parents can fuck off. I just want you. Please, Han. Please come back to me.”
I wear myself out and close my tired eyes, simply trying to focus on the feel of Hanlon’s fingers in mine, doing my best to massage them one-handed.
“How long after he woke up did he demand to be brought up here?” Chase asks Logan, his voice low.
“Maybe four seconds,” Logan answers.
“I’ve known Stone as long as I’ve known Hanlon, which is a long time, and I honestly never saw this coming,” Chase whispers. The corners of my mouth pull into a faint smile.
“I didn’t even know Hanlon existed until he showed up here,” Logan counters.
“And I didn’t find out they were stepbrothers until a couple of weeks after that.
” Logan exhales, and I feel the heaviness in it.
“Would have been nice to know I was fighting a losing battle before I got so invested, though.”
“What do you mean?” Chase asks. I hear him shift in the pleather chair, but I keep my eyes closed, interested in where this conversation is going.
“It doesn’t really matter anymore. I’m leaving at the end of the season. Took a job in Boston.”
“Boston?” Chase’s surprised tone matches the one in my head. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but there are no ski slopes in Boston.”
Logan huffs a laugh. “You’re not wrong. At first, I was bummed about that part of the new position, but after pulling those two off that mountain, I’m actually grateful for the change.”
“So, what will you be doing instead?” Chase asks.
“I’ll be flying the Life Flight helicopter for Boston General Hospital.”
“No way!” Chase says loudly, causing my eyes to open. He looks over at me and clamps a hand over his mouth. “My bad. Sorry,” he whispers before turning his attention back to Logan. “I’m starting med school at Harvard in the fall. I’ll be spending a lot of time at Boston General.”
Logan looks at Chase and opens his mouth to speak, but before he can get a word out, Lana rushes into the room, followed by my dad.
Chase looks at where I’m clasping Hanlon’s hand and stands immediately, ready to intervene if needed, solidifying our friendship for life.
Lana stands between our beds and leans down to kiss Hanlon’s cheek. I growl in jealousy and anger. You couldn’t pick up the phone and talk to him once in the last two months to check on him, but suddenly you’re all concerned?
I know it’s an unfair thought, so I keep it to myself.
Until she attempts to take his hand from mine.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I snarl.
She turns to me and finally sees the state I’m in. She then looks up at my father, who comes to stand by my bedside, looking paler than a ghost.
“Of course,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”
“For which part?” I ask, unable to stay quiet any longer because, fuck this, I’m just as scared as she is. “Cutting him out of your life for the past couple of months? For making him choose? Or for barging in here and trying to take him from me just now?”
She bites down on her quivering lower lip.
I expect my father to chastise me for speaking to her this way, but he stays quiet, making me feel like there’s a line drawn in the sand and they’re on opposite sides for the first time ever.
Looking where Hanlon and I’s hands are still connected, she says, “I’m trying, Stone. Regardless of how you see each other, I see you as brothers, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around this, but I no longer have doubts that you care deeply for one another.”
The next four days pass in a blur of beeping machines, nurses coming and going, and me touching Hanlon every second of every day.
Chase had to fly back home, and I’ll genuinely miss him. Logan has gone back to work, and I’m pretty sure the goodbye he gave me when he left our hospital room was the only one I’ll get from him.
I hate that it didn’t feel like the closure we needed.
Dad and Lana haven’t left our bedside since they arrived. Everyone is tired and looks like hell, but our common ground is that we all want Hanlon to wake up so fucking badly.
Finally, shortly after lunch on the fourth day, a doctor comes in to tell us the edema has subsided and it’s time to wake him up.
We all hold our breath for the next twelve hours as they wean him off the medications that have kept him asleep so he could heal.