Chapter 22 Ciara #2
I pinch my clit at the same time, and then I’m coming, my back arching off the desk as my pussy pulses around Ronan’s cock.
“Fuck, yes,” Ronan groans as he spills inside me.
He doesn’t stop moving inside me until I collapse back against the desk, gasping for air. Even then, he makes no move to separate us.
“Come here.” He reaches forward to wrap his arms around me and lift me up so that he can hold me close.
“You’re unbelievable.” I rest my head against his chest, his cock still buried inside me. “This isn’t what a healthy relationship looks like, Ronan. We can’t keep doing this.”
“It’s the only way I know how to protect what’s mine.”
I try to pull away, but his arm only tightens around me.
“You keep saying that like I’m a thing to protect. But I’m not a possession, Ronan, I’m a human being.”
“You’re both. You’re everything. And I know I fucked up, Ciara. I know. But watching you laugh with him… God, it made me feel like I was two steps away from losing you.”
I stare up at him, completely stunned. “Why? Why do you always assume the worst?”
“Because I’ve seen what happens when you let your guard down. I’ve seen what it costs.”
“You’ve also seen me choose you, over and over again, and yet here we are.”
Something shifts in his expression, and he loosens his grip on me just enough to slide himself free, and I bite back a whimper at the emptiness.
“I’ve been trying to fix everything out there.” He nods vaguely toward the window where the rest of the world waits for us as he tucks his cock back inside his pants. “Declan, the traitor in our ranks… But it seems that somewhere along the way, I forgot to fix the one thing that actually matters.”
When I stay quiet, he takes a deep breath before exhaling slowly.
“I trust you, I really do. But when it comes to the thought of losing you, I... I lose my fucking mind.”
“That’s not trust.” I slide off the desk and pull on my leggings. “That’s fear. And if you let it keep driving you, it’s going to turn you into someone I don’t recognize.”
His eyes drop for the first time, and shame flickers across his face like a shadow. He’s silent as I finish getting dressed, but when I start walking toward the door, he steps in front of me, blocking my path.
“What do you want me to do? Tell me, Ciara. Say the word, and I’ll do it.”
“Start by apologizing to Stephen and then to me. Not just for being jealous but for not trusting me enough to believe I’d never do anything to betray you.”
He nods slowly as he tucks his hands into his pockets.
“You’re right.”
I blink. “Wait, what?”
“You’re right. I’ve been handling this relationship like a dictator rather than a partner, and... I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry, Ciara. I’m going to call Stephen now and ask him to come back.”
“Yeah?”
He gives me a slow, reluctant nod. “I was an ass, and he didn’t deserve that.”
“And you’ll let him do his job?” I need to hear him say it.
Ronan exhales through his nose as he meets my gaze. “Yeah. He can do what I pay him to do.”
My lips twitch despite myself as I walk back over to him slowly and kiss him. It’s soft and hesitant, and Ronan’s hands find my waist again as he licks along my lower lip.
“You’re on thin ice,” I warn him when we break apart.
“Fair enough.”
“And if you ever pull some possessive macho bullshit like that again—”
“You’ll leave me.”
“Maybe,” I shrug, though I have no idea if that is even a possibility at this point. “Or maybe I’ll show you what real flirting looks like with the next guy you assign to be my bodyguard.”
A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth, like he knows better than to think I’m joking.
I hold my hand to the side of his face. “This thing between us... It only works if we’re in it together.”
“I know. I want to be better for you and for us.”
For our child.
The thought catches me off guard, but perhaps this is the right time to come clean…
“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about…” My heart starts to pound in my chest.
Ronan’s brow furrows slightly as his eyes search mine, then he leans in and silences me with another kiss.
“Can it wait?” he murmurs against my mouth. “It feels like we finally got something right tonight, so maybe we quit while we’re ahead, just this once.”
I should push back and tell him that no, it can’t wait. But I find myself losing my nerve once again.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back, wanting to cling to this moment with him for just a little longer.
Maybe Ronan’s right.
Maybe this one quiet moment of peace is something we shouldn’t disturb just yet because I know the moment I utter the words I’m pregnant out loud, that peace will never show its face again. At least not for the next eighteen years.
“Yeah. Of course, it can wait.” I’ve already waited this long, so what’s a few more days?
Thankfully, Ronan doesn’t notice the flicker of hesitation in my voice. He just wraps me up in his arms and holds me like it’s the only thing anchoring him to the earth, and for tonight, that’s enough.