Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
CIARA
I think I must be getting immune to death.
I’ve watched the man I love kill two people tonight, and yet instead of fear, a strange calm washes over me.
He kills without hesitation because I matter more to him than keeping his hands clean.
Ronan isn’t just the man I married; he’s the man I need. He is my rock amidst the chaos of this world. Without him, I’m not sure I would survive.
Declan is nothing more than a bloody corpse lying forgotten on the ground as Ronan turns his attention to the other man, one I don’t recognize.
My pulse pounds in my ears as I sit in the darkness of the car, my hands resting on my belly as I watch Ronan.
He’s so calm and sure as he talks with Brennan, with no hint of fear in his eyes.
Suddenly, a convoy of vehicles appears, their lights almost blinding as they surround the small clearing where Ronan and Brennan are standing.
My breath catches.
Are these Declan’s men?
A door opens, and Cormac steps out of the vehicle closest to me, and my body sags.
Before I can think, I’m climbing out of the car and rushing over to Ronan.
He spins around to catch me before I can slam into his chest. “Ciara. I told you to stay put.”
“I know. But I needed to see it.”
My eyes flick to Declan’s corpse, then to the other man, then finally back to Ronan.
“It’s over, Tine Bheag.”
I shake my head. “It’s not over until every last loose end has been taken care of.”
Ronan pulls me tighter against him, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
I’m shaking now, not with fear but with adrenaline as I cling to him.
Behind us, Brennan is on the phone, probably updating Kieran.
Ronan nods to his brother. “Cormac, take care of Declan, would you?”
I bury my face in Ronan’s chest, not wanting to watch as Cormac and his men drag Declan’s body toward one of the waiting cars.
Ronan kisses the top of my head. “Let’s get you back in the car.”
I let him guide me back to the waiting SUV, settling in the passenger seat.
He crouches beside me, his dark eyes filled with concern.
He reaches out to stroke my cheek. “Are you okay?”
I lean into the touch, savoring the feel of his skin against mine. “No. But I will be.”
“I’m sorry you saw that.”
“I’m not. He deserved it.”
Ronan’s eyes search my face, his eyebrows furrowed.
I keep my eyes on his, letting him see I’m telling the truth. “What happens now?”
“We’ll take Finn back to our warehouse and interrogate him.”
“Finn?”
The muscle in Ronan’s jaw ticks, and I can tell he’s hesitating about whether to tell me something.
“Ronan?”
“He’s…the one who killed Max.”
I inhale sharply as I look over at the man now being dragged toward a car by Brennan.
He doesn’t look much older than me.
“Are you sure?”
“He used to work with my family. Apparently, his loyalty didn’t run deep.”
“What are you going to do to him?” I don’t know why I ask; I already know the answer.
Ronan reaches for my hand. “That’s need-to-know information.”
I swallow hard as I take our intertwined hands and rest them on my stomach, feeling the weight of everything that’s happened, of the future we almost didn’t get a chance to experience, settle around us.
“I’ll protect you,” Ronan’s voice goes rough. “Both of you.”
“I know. I’ll never complain about how overprotective you are again.”
Ronan smirks. “We both know that’s bullshit.”
I laugh, the sound a little breathless from the relief flooding through me.
Ronan leans in to kiss my forehead, and I sink into his touch like it’s my lifeline.
My whole body relaxes at the feel of his warm lips, the tension in my muscles that have been coiled so tight starting to unravel.
When Ronan pulls away, he glances over his shoulder at Brennan and Cormac before looking back at me. “Any more pain? Cramps?”
I shake my head. “Nothing since earlier.”
He nods. “That’s good. But I still want you checked out tonight.”
“Okay.”
Tonight could have ended so badly, and yet somehow, we’re still here.
Every decision he made, every shot he fired, stemmed from the fact that I’m carrying his child.
Me and this baby are his whole world, and I know he would do anything to keep us safe, and I have to fight back another wave of emotion at the thought.
“What about Brennan and Cormac? Shouldn’t you stay with them?”
Ronan glances back at his brothers. “Finn’s secured, and Brennan has briefed Kieran, so we should be done soon.”
“Then—”
“—we go directly to the hospital.” He squeezes my hand again before reaching across to fiddle with the buttons, lowering the seat until I can stretch out and adjusting the temperature dial so that warm air filters in through the vents. “Ciara?”
“Yeah?”
“Help me understand something…”
My heart flutters as he rests his hand on my stomach once more. “What?”
“Flipping that car…you could have been killed. I want to know why you would risk such a thing. Did you not trust me to get to you in time?”
“I do trust you, Ronan.”
“Then why? Why risk your life like that?”
“I guess… I didn’t see it as a risk.” I pause, searching for the words. “I know the world we live in is deadly, but underneath the fear, I still felt safe tonight… like nothing could hurt me because I know you wouldn’t let it.”
“Thank you.”
I frown. “For what?”
“You saved me too.”
Blinking, I try to fight the tears that threaten to fall. “We’re in this together.”
I want to melt into his arms and kiss him for eternity, but not in front of a bunch of strange men and a couple of corpses.
He closes his eyes, leaning in so that his lips brush against mine. “Forever.”
I wrinkle my nose at the sterile smell that clings to the hospital walls. I’ve always hated that smell.
I’m lying back on the bed in the private room that I’m pretty sure Ronan bribed a nurse to give me, staring up at the ceiling, trying to breathe calmly.
The adrenaline from the crash is starting to wear off, but it’s leaving something much heavier in its wake. It’s a dull, gut-wrenching ache that won’t settle.
Ronan is quiet as he stands beside the bed, his hand clutching mine.
Neither of us speaks; we’re both too lost in our own thoughts, though I know he’s thinking the same as me.
What if something’s wrong with the baby?
I’ve never been more terrified in my life.
“Are you okay?” He strokes his thumb against the back of my hand.
I nod a bit too quickly, and Ronan frowns.
“Are you sure?”
I exhale as my chest tightens. “I just... What if something’s wrong?”
“It won’t be.” His hand cradles my jaw, turning my face toward him. “You’re strong, and our baby is strong. You both made it through a hell of a night.”
I try to smile for him, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.
“How long have you known?”
I lower my eyes. “A few weeks.”
He arches an eyebrow. “A few? How many is a few?”
I wince, guilt swallowing me whole.
“Since after I came home from the hospital…” My voice trails off as I think about my last hospital visit. Twice now, I’ve faced death and survived.
My luck has to run out at some point, and I can’t help but fear that time is now.
“Were you really ever going to tell me?”
“Of course, I was! Like I told you before, I tried to tell you, but either we got interrupted or…I got scared.”
“Scared?”
I shrug. “You told me you wanted a family ‘someday’. This is not someday, this is now. And there was so much going on that you were already stretched thin. I didn’t want to add to that. But the truth is, I had no idea if you’d be happy about it. I’m sorry if I made you angry.”
He doesn’t respond right away, just brushes his thumb over my knuckles, the touch so gentle that I nearly burst into tears.
Keeping this baby a secret from Ronan made sense at the time, but after everything we went through tonight, it feels like an unnecessary burden.
“I should have told you, Ronan. Because if I had died tonight—”
“Don’t! Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Ciara. You’re alive, and that’s all that matters.”
“But…the baby—”
“Will be fine too, I know it.”
“You’re not a doctor, Ronan.”
“No, but I trust my gut feeling, and it’s always right.”
“Oh, yeah? Like when?”
“For starters, when you agreed to marry me, I had a gut feeling you were going to be the biggest pain in my ass.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Is that the only time?”
“There have been plenty more. But the one that stands out is when I saw you pointing that gun at the guy who took Mila.”
I shudder at the memory. “Really?”
“I had a gut feeling I was going to fall so madly in love with you that it might very well be the death of me.”
“Ronan…” My voice cracks as I look into his dark brown eyes.
“I’m going to be a father.” He lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “Thank you.”
My brows pull together. “For what?”
“For this.” He places his free hand on my stomach. “For this new life and for loving me enough to build it with me.”
Tears well up before I even realize it.
Ronan bends down to wrap me in his arms, and I sob into his shirt. “I love you, Tine Bheag. And I’m so fucking happy.”
There’s a knock on the door, and Ronan and I instantly pull apart as a woman in a white coat enters the room.
“Hello, Mrs. Sullivan, I’m Dr. Lynch, the resident OBGYN.” She offers me a warm smile.
I wipe away my tears. “Please, call me Ciara.”
“Ciara.” She nods, glancing at Ronan. “And you are?”
“Her husband.” Ronan extends his hand for Dr. Lynch to shake. “Ronan Sullivan.”
After shaking Ronan’s hand, Dr. Lynch pulls out a stool and sits on the opposite side of the bed. “Let’s check on your baby, shall we?”
I lie back and reach for Ronan’s hand again, clutching it like a lifeline.
My heart pounds in my ears as Dr. Lynch rolls the machine closer to begin the scan.
I try to focus on her kind smile and soothing voice as she makes small talk, but I barely hear her.
Ronan squeezes my hand once and then twice to bring me back to the present. “Breathe.”
My eyes sting again, but I force myself to breathe as Dr. Lynch lifts my gown and squeezes blue gel onto my stomach.
I flinch as it hits my skin, and Ronan grips my hand tighter as Dr. Lynch picks up the handheld device.
This is it.
I glance anxiously at Ronan.
“Everything will be okay,” he mouths to me.
I want to believe him, but there’s no way I could be lucky enough to walk away from this with my family intact. People in my world don’t get happy endings. Not without a cost, at least.
The machine starts to hum, and I hold my breath as a fast rhythmic thumping sound fills the air.
“Oh, my god…” I whisper. “Is that the heartbeat?”
I’m not sure Dr. Lynch hears me; her attention is laser-focused on the screen as she moves the wand back and forth over my abdomen. Her eyes narrow as she tilts the wand, and my heart nearly stops.
Why isn’t she saying anything?
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Quite the opposite, actually.”
She turns the screen so Ronan and I can see, but I’m not sure what I’m meant to be looking at.
She smiles. “Congratulations. There are two heartbeats.”
My brain short circuits, and from the sharp inhale to my right, so does Ronan’s.
“T-two?” I squeak.
“You’re having twins. And they both look on track in terms of size for being twelve weeks along.”
My jaw drops as I glance at Ronan, whose eyes are wide with a mix of amazement and panic.
“Holy shit,” he breathes.
Suddenly, I’m laughing—hysterical, breathless laughter that feels like it’s clawing its way out of my chest.
“Twins?”
The doctor smiles again as she wipes the gel off my stomach before getting to her feet. “I’ll give you two a moment.”
When the door clicks shut, Ronan and I stare at each other in stunned silence.
“Twins,” I whisper after a moment.
“Twins…”
I frown. “Are you okay?”
He lets out a stunned laugh. “I barely wrapped my head around one baby, and now we’re doubling it.”
“Yeah, well… I’m the one who has to push them out.”
That earns me another laugh, and soon I’m laughing too.
Ronan grins as he climbs onto the bed beside me, wrapping his enormous body around me like a human blanket.
I squirm against him as he starts pressing kisses to my neck. “Ronan, I can’t breathe!”
“You’ll live,” he murmurs before kissing along my jaw. “God, you’re perfect. You’re fucking amazing.”
“Ronan, stop smothering me.”
“We’re having twins.”
I nod. “Are you scared?”
“Out of my mind.”
“Same.”
“But I’ve never wanted anything more.”
I turn slightly to look up at him. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Do you really think we can do this?”
He presses a kiss to my temple. “I think we’ll figure it out, together.”
“Even when I’m hormonal and cranky and eating everything in sight?”
“You mean your usual self?”
“Hey!” I smack him on the shoulder, but Ronan just crushes me against his chest and kisses me.
“I love you,” I whisper against his mouth.
“I love you more.”
I shake my head, smiling. “Not possible.”
He smirks. “Want to bet on it?”
“Don’t tempt me. You’ll lose.”
“I think I’m okay with losing, as long as I get all of you with me in the end.”