17. Phial
seventeen
Phial
I double check my mental list of things I need to do before we can leave Rythar. Right now, I'm outside the ship checking the fuel lines and checking for any external damage or weird sounds.
As much as it seemed like I followed Avery around the entire time she was saying her goodbyes to her friends, I wasn't. I had many things to get done before I could strip from my clothing and chase after my female.
I found Holoth first. He got the quickest goodbye I've ever given in my life. Okay, second quickest since I didn't even have the time to say anything to my brother before I had to flee our planet. Not that there was much to say to him, considering he's the reason I had to leave. Oh, well, that's the past, and it has no room in my mind.
After wrapping my arms around Holoth and giving him one long squeeze, I said goodbye and started running back toward the ship.
He was the only one I needed to say goodbye to on this planet. He was my best friend for many years, and he's still my best male friend, but he has been usurped in the general best friend sense. I'm sure I have as well since he is mated and soon to be with young.
Holoth chased after me, running beside me like it was a normal thing for us to do. Maybe it could've been if we weren't always trapped in the ship and if I had any desire to run for pleasure, which I do not. I'm a nimble creature due to genetics, not because I wish to be quick in my downtime.
When Holoth asked me why I was in a rush, I quickly explained to him how I had a female now. I also told him I don't spend much time away from her, and he could judge me all he wants because my female likes that I watch her, so no one else's opinion matters.
Holoth didn't chastise me for stalking Avery. No one has yet, which is more surprising than many other things. Maybe because Alik kind of stalked Sloane before they were together, none of them thought my actions strange.
Holoth asked if there was anything he could do to make our leaving easier since I had so much to do to prepare the ship for the journey. I almost didn't take him up on his offer because I was too focused on returning to Avery. My need for her has only grown since our relationship has progressed.
That's okay. We can be needy of one another. I need her presence all of the time. She needs my come. It's truly a win-win.
I asked Holoth about things a female might need to make a heat nest and if anything else might make her feel safer going through it on her own on Earth. We haven't talked about my role in her heat, and I'm defaulting to whatever Avery wants. I haven't even seen her completely naked yet, so I won't be surprised if she's hesitant to ask me to be inside of her.
Holoth told me he'd talk with his sister, who goes through her heats alone since she doesn't want to be with young any time soon. I meant to ask him what he was going to have her get for him, but he was already branching away from me, running through the clan to find his sister.
That was a few hours ago, and I'd almost forgotten about asking him to do anything. But he's here now with arms filled with furs, blankets, and pillows. Even his sister is with him, carrying a pack filled with things she's showing Avery. They talk about the contents in secretive, hushed tones. I strain my ears to listen but can't make out much. I think about camouflaging and listening to the end of their conversation, but there's nowhere out here to strip without drawing suspicion.
Unfortunately, when it's time to leave, my job is actually important, so I'm stuck with the exterior systems check while Helna shows Avery various things inside the pack that she never pulls out.
Avery's face is scarlet when they finish talking, and my mind is filled with ideas of what kinds of things might be in the secretive pack. Not to mention my cocks are also interested, which means when Helna turns her attention to me as she waves Avery off to put the pack in her room, I have to hold the paneling that slides from the exterior to reveal some of our wirings in front of my groin.
Helna has no interest in me, but my cocks belong to someone now. It's not kind of me to allow others to see them, even if it's just their outline in my pants.
"What are your plans for her heat?" Helna asks.
I keep my eyes on hers because if I were to drop them, I'd see just how little her furs cover. This is fine for her and for the males she enjoys inviting to her furs, but she has nothing for me.
I look around the shipyard, unsurprised when we're all alone. There's not much for the rest of the crew to do out here, but that doesn't mean some of them, Jovi and Essa, wouldn't want to be out here as soon as they thought I might be having an embarrassing conversation.
"My current plan is to wait to see what Avery wishes for me to do."
My feathers rustle on my head, down my back. Yeah, I'm not the happiest with this plan. I'd much rather know what my role is to be. It'd be even better if my role were to be to fill her full of my cocks over and over again until her heat was over.
"And if she doesn't want you to assist?" Helna asks, her eyes narrowing on me like she's trying to catch me in any sort of untruth. She'll find none from me. I might enjoy following my female around, listening to everything she says, and standing so close to her that I can feel her breath on my scales when she doesn't know I'm around. But that doesn't mean I'll disregard her wishes.
"Then I will not assist."
I frown and shift on my feet to feel if my cocks have hidden themselves back inside my pocket. When I'm certain they have, I move to put the paneling back on the ship.
Most of what I need to do out here is done. I only have a few more things to check, and then everything is done for the exterior check. Jovi should be doing the interior check, and Alik was the one who told him to do it, which means it's actually getting done.
"What will you do instead?" Helna asks.
I jump a little at her voice. Honestly, I thought she had left when I returned to work. Her talking to me is more than a little frightening and makes me feel like a rude male for ignoring her. I hope she doesn't think I ignored her on purpose. She's friends with Avery, which means I'm supposed to be kind to her. I mean, I dislike Jia, but I still kept her from getting punched in the face because I'm a good male for Avery.
"Sorry." I rub at my feathers, trying to smooth them down. Helna gives me a small smile that fights for space on her face because she's still trying to be stern with me right now. "I didn't know you were still here. I didn't mean to make you feel ignored."
"Phial, I didn't," she snorts. "I was watching you work and trying to decide if you're good enough for Avery."
Her words find their mark, and my lips tug downward. "Don't let Avery hear you say that. I already kept her from punching Jia earlier."
"I heard about that." Helna tilts her head to the side, her eyes dropping down my body in an appraising manner that has me shifting from foot to foot.
As far as Rytharian standards go, I am not an example of peak masculinity. By my species' standards, well, I'm average. At least I was when I was there. I might be above average since, you know, I have all of those explosives. I bet some females would think that makes me a suitable male. Maybe Avery thinks it's part of my appeal. She knows I have explosives stashed away.
She knows everything .
"She really likes you," Helna says, her eyes turning hard as she returns my gaze.
She looks like she's about to say something else, but I need her to know something before then. I hold a hand up, her brows rising at the interruption.
"I love her. I've loved her for a while. You can think I'm not suitable for her because I'm smaller and weaker than your males. I can protect her, and I can provide for her. There's nowhere safer for her than with me, this I promise you."
Helna's stern gaze softens as she listens to my words, and when I finish, she brushes a tear that's threatening to spill from her lower lids. I didn't say anything profound or anything that everyone shouldn't already know, so I shrug my shoulders and try not to make a big deal about Helna's overeager tear ducts.
"What will you do when Avery's in heat if she doesn't want you to help?" Helna asks, returning us to her original question. My teeth clamp down so fast I'm sure she's heard the click. "I don't ask to upset you, but I know how hard it is for some of the males here when they have to drop their females off at the sanctuary. There won't be a secure place for her to go, at least not one you won't be able to access."
I puff my chest a bit at that because she's right. There aren't many places I couldn't get to—even the sanctuary. The only thing that kept me from getting to Avery was that it would get us kicked off the planet, and then Avery would have no one to help her. Well, that, and the fact that Helna snitched on me, and the whole sanctuary turned down their filtration system so they could sniff me out if I was nearby.
"I won't go to her if she doesn't want me to," I tell Helna. "I know it's hard to believe I'm not like your males." I wiggle my brows at her, hoping my joke lands. She gives me an unimpressed snort before I continue. "I can't smell her heat. I don't get all worked up for it. Do I want to be near her every moment of every day? Of course, but I can function without being there. I've done it plenty."
Helna chews on her lip as she listens to me. "I'm sorry you can't smell her. I couldn't imagine not being able to smell my mate." She swallows hard, her eyes darting around like she's not sure she should've voiced that part out loud.
"Do you have a mate?" I ask. Her word choice was strange, but I've never really had a conversation with Helna, just the two of us. I think this might be the most we've said to one another where it wasn't me hissing at her for telling me she told the sanctuary that I might camouflage and sneak in.
"No!" Her face flushes a deep red, and her eyes go wide. She takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly. "This is going to sound stupid when I say it, but you have to remember we scent match so easily with our mates. I'm twenty-two and haven't even been drawn to anyone. I've been to twelve other clans for runs. There's been more than that come here, and no one smells good. I'm starting to think my mate's already dead."
My feathers are standing on end, my eyes are wide, and my mind is racing. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with any of this information. Am I meant to console her? Tell her I'm sure her mate isn't dead? Do they only get one? If her mate's dead, does she never get to find someone to belong with? Oh, mother, how am I supposed to handle this situation?
"Phial?" Helna's voice holds a hint of amusement as she pulls me out of the spiral my mind is going into. As heavy as her words are, her smile is bright when she looks at me. "Sorry about that. I didn't realize how badly I needed to get the words out."
I run my hands down my feathers, trying to flatten them out because they make me look foolish. "No, it's fine. We all need someone to speak with. I would suggest maybe Kithi or another female because I do not have words of advice. Really, I only have questions. Many, many questions."
"No, I know." Helna waves her hand in front of her as though it's waving around the seriousness of what she's talking about. "It just all came out. Sorry for putting that on you. I'm fine, really."
"Maybe talk to your brother about your worries," I say, my feathers finally softening and starting to lie down. "It's not like he would've found his mate if he stayed on this planet. Maybe yours is out there somewhere." I motion up to the sky, which is starting to darken. The two moons visible in the sky are tinted a pale red.
Helna stares up at the skies, her eyes shimmering with something I know quite fondly. A desire to explore, to not be trapped down. Who would've thought Helna and I would be alike in any way? It's this kinship that has me offering something I have no place offering.
"Come with us."
Helna's eyes go wide as she looks at me, her mouth opening, her head already shaking a no.
"Your brother's room is open, and there won't be any objections from Essa or Sloane, which means there won't be any objections from Jovi and Alik." I shrug and start cleaning up my tools. Everything's done outside, which means we're about ready to leave. "We'll be taking off in about an hour. I have to make sure Jovi did the final interior check, but then we leave. Be on the ship or don't, but we'd love to have you."
Helna's still staring after me, her mouth hanging open. I give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and leave her standing outside as I start the interior checkoff. Essa's standing in the entryway when I step inside. She gives me a curious look, and then her tail wraps around my ankle, giving me a reassuring smile.
"You're a good male," she says, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.
I huff out a laugh. "Thank you, Essa. I think you might be the only female on this planet to think so."
Her tail tightens on my ankle, but she lets the words roll off her. She's a protective friend, and mother help anyone she thinks is hurting any of her friends. She walks with me as I do the rest of my checks, telling me stories about her time on Rythar.
Essa doesn't release my ankle or my shoulder the whole time, which means I don't get a chance to sneak off to find Avery. That's okay, I can spend time with my friend as well. We're just about to pack up the last bit of stuff when the main entry doors open, revealing an out-of-breath Helna with her arms full of bags.
"I'm still invited, right?" she pants, her hands on her knees.
Essa's tail drops my ankle, and she wraps our newest crew member in her arms. "Very much. Now, let me give you the tour, and we'll put your stuff in Holoth's room. I'll help you figure out how to get all of his smells out. I'm sure it smells very much like him and K'Vella. They were trying to get pregnant often…" Essa's voice grows quieter and quieter as she leads Helna down the hall.
With my newfound aloneness, I hurry to finish the last of my work so I can get Avery. We'll be piloting the ship to Earth together, and I hope she'll be willing to do it without any pants.