Chapter Six
Elias
Elias did his best to offer his father a bit of comfort after following him to his study. Miss Cary had said nothing wrong, and she was surely confused over the situation, which made Elias feel bad for departing without a word. Diana would explain things to her, he hoped.
Papa struggled the worst with Mama’s passing around the holidays. Which only supported Diana’s theory that if she filled the house with love and laughter that it would help them all to get through it.
Once he managed to get his father to speak, the pair reminisced about Mama for a moment, and then Elias lightened the mood by telling his father a few more stories about his antics with Jude.
“You need to open your heart to the idea of love, son,” his father finally said.
“Are you mad? Do you see the pain that you still suffer even all these years later? Why would I risk that pain on myself, or worse, on someone that I would love and care about if something should happen to me?”
Tears formed in his father’s eyes again. “Son, as saddened as I am to continue on without your mother, I have never wished for a second to have not had her for the time that I did. I would choose our life together even if I had known how things would end.”
“But now I know better, Father. If I don’t allow it in, I don’t have to risk such a fate.”
“You will marry sooner or later. I know you believe in your duty to the title and our family,” his father said.
“Father, I know it’s been a while for you, but love isn’t required to marry and sire an heir. And I believe, based on the many stories I have recounted to you, that you are already well aware that I am more than capable of doing the needful activities.”
His father’s face hardened. “Don’t be so crass about such things, Elias.
I promise you that you will cheat yourself out of the life you deserve if you take that approach to marriage.
There is nothing like looking into the face of your children and seeing the woman you love in them.
Knowing that a piece of them will continue to live on for generations and generations.
It’s a much stronger feeling and sense of pride than carrying on these blasted titles. ”
“I don’t think I can,” Elias said, his chest rising and falling from where his breathing rate increased, and attempted to push aside what his father said. Especially how it made him question his resolve. “I just don’t think I can let myself love someone, Father.”
“You already have, son. You loved your dear mama, and you love me. And you love your sisters,” his father said, then grinned at him.
“Most of the time. You are capable of love, son. I’m not asking you to go out and force yourself to fall in love with the first woman you see, but I am asking you to be open to it. ”
Elias contemplated what his father said. He still had his doubts, and the whole notion of it didn’t sound all that appealing. The fear of pain was still far too great.
“And about what you are doing with all of those women of the night, Elias. You take risks, to your health and to your future, in continuing down that path. It’s one thing to sow your wild oats, but that time must eventually come to an end.
And one day you’re going to understand the difference between what you are doing with those nameless women and the love with the one woman you give your heart to. ”
For the first time in his life, Elias felt slightly embarrassed over his behavior.
Something he’d never experienced before, given that he always saw it as something to brag about to the other gentlemen.
But something about his father’s words had him questioning everything he thought he enjoyed about his life and what he wanted for his future.
And Elias couldn’t stop himself from wondering what his mother might think of his actions.
He still wasn’t convinced he wanted love or that love would have a place in his marriage, when he pursued one, but perhaps it was time that he gave what he wanted for his future a bit more thought.
His father clasped his shoulder. “I think we should rejoin the party before your sister comes looking for us.”
Elias pushed aside his thoughts and grinned at his father. “We won’t get a moment’s rest until after Christmas.”
“In that, I believe you are correct.” His father laughed, and then caught Elias’s attention again. “That reminds me, son. Did you need anything from the attic? I have the servants going through some of your mother’s things for Diana.”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Very well,” his father replied. “Let me know if you think of something.”
They departed his father’s study and returned to find that the guests had gathered outside, dressed in their great coats and winter coverings. Elias and the elder Lord Snowdon donned their warm coats and joined the others out in the snow.
Elias left his father’s side and went straight to Miss Cary. After the way he departed and their awkward conversation at breakfast, he knew he should at least let her know that all was well with his father, or at least as well as it would ever be.
He noted Lady Billings looking around as if she were searching for someone. As cowardly as it might have been, he ducked behind Jude and then continued to where Miss Cary stood.
“Miss Cary,” he started, “I see you decided to join the morning’s activity.”
She turned to face him, and her gray eyes bore into his with a flicker of remorse.
“Lord Snowdon, please accept my apologies for earlier,” she blurted.
He waved her off. “You have nothing to apologize for. My father is back enjoying time with the other guests,” he said, motioning toward where his father stood, ironically chatting with Miss Cary’s parents.
“Are you perhaps unclaimed for the activity? If so, I would like to select you to be my partner.”
She grinned at him, and it was the kindest expression she had shown him since she had arrived. “Then it appears I shall partner with you, my lord.”
“Given our mutual spirit of competition, I don’t think the rest of this lot stands a chance. What say you?” Elias said, extending his arm so she could take it.
“I do quite enjoy winning,” she said, taking his proffered arm. “I don’t think I could stomach another loss.”
“Well, then, my lady, I’ll do my best to ensure you won’t face a crushing defeat.”
Diana got everyone’s attention, and they all gathered around as she explained the rules.
Then Aunt Penny explained what the judges would look for to determine the winner.
There would be five different teams: Elias and Miss Cary, Diana and Jude, Hudson and Hannah, Matt and Miss Stone, and then Duncan and Lady Billings.
Each team would have two hours to work on their snowman, and the one that was deemed the most creative would be awarded a prize.
The teams could use anything they could find outside, and were only given a pair of cutters they could use to cut twigs.
The time limit should give them plenty of time to plan their design and then gather the materials that they would need, depending on how complex their build turned out to be.
Lady Billings caught his eye and gave him a scowl as she looked between him and Miss Cary on his arm.
The lady stood near Lord Duncan, a viscount that Elias was almost certain would be more amenable than he was to the arrangement the widow sought.
Perhaps she would take up with Duncan and leave Elias alone.
It would be a Christmas miracle, indeed.
Aunt Penny declared the start of the competition and the couples spread out to discuss their plans where they wouldn’t be overheard.
Elias noticed that Hudson and Hannah were already bickering and chuckled to himself.
He knew that given the choice, Hudson would choose to partner with his sister, if only to avoid tedious conversation with another chit.
But given the way Hannah was arguing with him, Elias wondered if Hudson had noted the folly in his choice.
“Do you have any ideas, Miss Cary?” Elias asked, lowering his voice so only she could hear him.
“I was thinking,” she started, “what if we make a scene instead of just making a single snowman?”
“What do you mean?”
She stepped closer to him, and his body heated at the realization that he stood less than an inch away from her feminine body brushing against his.
When she leaned her head forward so her lips were so close to his ear that he could feel the heat of her breath, it would have been so easy to turn his head and allow their lips to meet.
Instead, he drew a deep breath and forced himself to remain still.
“What if we build two snowmen, or even a snowman and a snowwoman, and have them in a scene together?”
“Ah, I see what you mean. What could we have them do?” He tried his best to think of an idea, but his rational thought had left his body with her so painfully close to him.
His father’s words from earlier reverberated in his head, but he quickly shoved those aside.
She was a beautiful woman, and of course, his body should notice.
The rapid beat of his heart meant nothing.
“I’ve got it,” she said excitedly. “We’ll have them kiss, under mistletoe.”
He grinned at how excited she was about the idea. “Let’s do it. I think I can make it look like the mistletoe is hanging above them.”
She started rattling off the things that they would need.
Various twigs and rocks that would be used in different places.
She had designs on how they would fashion a dress for the snow woman.
They would also have to venture out in search of a sprig of mistletoe and a long stick for Elias to position it so that it hung over their creation.
Both pleased with their plan, they set off to gather the things they would need. They found the different stones first and then brought those back to the area where they had claimed to build their scene.