Chapter Eight
Lydia
Lydia wasn’t sure when she worked up the nerve to make such a bold request. Her body had been on fire the entire day after their kiss. She had avoided him as much as she could throughout the afternoon and evening, hoping that putting distance between them would ease the intensity of her desire.
When she lay in her bed that evening, all she could think about was how she wanted him to kiss her again and so much more. Even if she knew he was a rake and she would wind up with a broken heart once she allowed herself to do and feel more toward him.
She stared at the canopy and felt the place between her legs ache with need. No matter how many times she tossed and turned, she couldn’t get the urge to subside. After that, she took to pacing her chamber, hoping that the activity might tire her out enough to sleep.
That hadn’t worked, so she had the idea to select a book, hoping that reading might help her sleep. What she hadn’t expected was for the very man, and the object of her intense desire, to appear in the library. Nor had she expected the pull to be so great that she would throw herself at him.
“Miss Cary?” The way he responded to her request was more of a question, and even in the barely lit room, she could see the confusion marring his expression.
“Lydia,” she said, drawing another breath. “Will you do as I asked?”
“I’m not certain I know what you mean, Lydia.”
She squared her shoulders and raised her chin. She had already gone that far, and there was no turning back now. Either he would give her what she desperately wanted and she could put the urge behind her, or he wouldn’t and she’d avoid him for the rest of the house party.
“Elias,” she said, enjoying the intimacy of using his given name. She stepped forward and grabbed his hand, pressing it against where she had fantasized about him touching. “Will you touch me here?”
He gulped, and it made her want to kiss his throat.
“You don’t know what you ask.”
She nodded, noting he hadn’t pulled his hand away. “I do.”
“But—” he started, before she cut him off.
“I expect nothing from you, and no one ever has to know.”
She saw how he warred with himself, which surprised her.
Given his status as a known rake, she half expected him to throw her onto the settee and maul her with far less of an invitation.
His reaction cracked open a bit of her heart to him, which would be disastrous, so she forced herself to push such thoughts aside.
“Are you not a virgin?” he asked, without a hint of judgment in his tone, but he shifted his hand to grip her hip.
“I am,” Lydia said quickly. “What I mean to say is that no man has ever entered me with his…” She trailed off, assuming he knew what she meant.
Her mama hadn’t been one to leave her daughter in the dark about what occurred between a man and a woman.
She hadn’t wanted Lydia to go into marriage unaware of such things, but part of her wondered if she wouldn’t have allowed certain liberties if she had been less informed. But it was far too late for that.
“But a man has touched you?” His tone had a bit of a jealous edge, which made her heart race.
“Once,” she whispered. “Well, kind of, and I’d very much like for you to erase that memory and give me a far better one.”
He brought his free hand to her other hip, holding her in place in front of him. “Who touched you? Did he force himself on you? I will ensure he pays for such an offense.”
His protective nature only made the place between her legs heat and throb harder, dampening the skin between her thighs. “Nothing like that. And it doesn’t matter,” she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Please, Elias. I want your touch.”
His lips came crashing down on hers in response. She immediately opened to him and took control of the kiss, enjoying the way he growled when she sucked his tongue.
He swept her into his arms as if she were light as a feather, and carried her to the settee, where he laid her down, breaking their kiss.
Standing over her, he untied her dressing robe and opened it so that her night rail was exposed to him. He pulled at the ribbon that tied her hair in place and ran his fingers through her plait, so her hair was loose, splayed out beside her on the cushion.
“So beautiful,” he whispered.
His words went straight to her heart, and her chest rose and fell faster from how she fought to steady her breath.
Elias gripped the hem of her night rail and lifted it just slightly, the night air already hitting her thighs, before he paused. “Are you certain this is what you want?”
“More than anything,” she whispered.
He groaned and lifted her night rail the rest of the way so that the front laid across her stomach. He placed a single knee on the cushion between her legs, leaving one foot standing on the floor, and then placed a hand by her head to support himself to hover over her.
Using his free hand, he cupped her breast as he brought his lips back to hers.
He pulled the top of her night rail down so that both breasts were exposed and hung over the fabric.
Kissing down her neck, his tongue ran along the top of her right breast before he sucked the bud of her nipple into his mouth.
Lydia arched her back in response, moaning.
He lifted his head to look at her. “Did he do that?”
She shook her head. “No.” She said the word so softly she wasn’t even certain if he heard her.
“Good.” He lowered his head again and did the same thing to her left breast. She grasped his head, holding him there as he licked and sucked.
When he slid his hand further down her body and started massaging her thigh with his hand, she gasped. He hadn’t even touched her core yet, and her entire body was on fire wanting him.
Elias shifted his mouth back to meet hers and brushed his fingers over her slit. He began circling the sensitive place that throbbed while he mimicked the movement with his tongue against hers. His fingers slipped lower into her folds until she felt his finger at her opening.
“You have no idea what it does to me to touch you,” he said against her lips, then slid his finger inside of her. “You feel so good.”
She moaned, and he moved his finger within her. When he slid his finger all the way out, she sank deeper into the settee, prepared to beg him not to stop, but then he must have entered her with two of his fingers given how much more intensely she felt them inside of her when he moved.
“Do you like that?” he whispered.
“Yes,” she moaned.
He used his thumb to circle that sensitive place again while he worked his fingers, eliciting from her a stream of moans and whimpers.
“How about that?” he said, but given his amused tone, she didn’t believe he expected her to answer.
Besides, she was losing the ability for coherent thought. His touch was far better than anything she had expected, or what it had been her first time.
Elias didn’t relent and increased the speed of his movement. “Come on my fingers, Beautiful.”
She panted and moaned, and he captured her mouth again to stifle the sounds.
Pulling his head back, she felt the heat of his breath, but her eyes were shut tight.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
She blinked her eyes open, and his face was in front of hers, so they were almost nose to nose.
“That’s it. Good girl,” he whispered. “Eyes on me.”
The light from the moon cast shadows on his masculine face, but the intensity in his eyes held her.
“Don’t you dare close them when you come, Beautiful.”
He applied a bit more pressure with his thumb and it shoved her hard over the edge of bliss. She bucked beneath him, and it took everything in her to keep her eyes trained on his, while she experienced a more intense climax than she had even realized was possible.
It came in wave after wave, over more than several seconds. When the last bit of pleasure reached the tips of her fingers, her body stilled and she fought to catch her breath.
She felt him slowly withdraw his fingers and then he shocked her when he brought them up to his lips and sucked them into his mouth, not taking his eyes off of hers.
He pulled his fingers from his mouth, licking them as he did so. “Mmm. Tastes sweet.”
She whimpered at his words, and he lowered his lips to hers again, sweeping his tongue into her mouth, tasting something unfamiliar on his tongue. He kissed her for several moments and then raised his head.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asked, lowering her night rail to cover her legs again.
“And more,” she replied, opting for honesty after all that had occurred between them.
“Is there something I can do for you? Like touch your…” She would have never felt comfortable offering such a thing to the man she almost married, yet Elias made her feel safe, and if she were honest, even more wanton.
He came to a stand, and she could see the frown forming on his face. “Did this man require you to touch him?”
“No. Never,” she said quickly, sensing the jealousy in his tone.
In hindsight, given how she’d never trusted the man, she must have known the entire time that the bounder wasn’t the husband for her. But then she caught him with a maid’s head between his legs and didn’t have to give the matter a second thought.
His expression softened. “This was about giving you pleasure, Beautiful,” he said, helping her to stand, then pulling her robe closed, and retying her sash for her. “You needn’t worry about me.”
Her heart sank into her stomach like a rock. He had no need of her or her inexperience when he had a willing widow sleeping in the very house. For a moment, Lydia had allowed herself to forget that Elias already had an arrangement with a woman.
Part of her found it hard to believe that a man who had shown her such tenderness and care could also be such a cad to go climb on top of another woman, especially after he dared to sound jealous of her past. A past which paled in comparison to the one he was so notorious for.
She should have let it go, but the notion irritated and nagged at her insides to the point where she was about to explode. “Elias?”
“Yes? I’m afraid I will be of no use to set your hair to its rights, but I couldn’t resist seeing you thus.”
She drew a deep breath, at war with what she knew of his reputation and what she had witnessed between him and Lady Billings, compared to how he had been with her this evening. How he called her “Beautiful” and looked at her as if she were precious to him.
It would be far better to know the truth. Besides, she’d go mad if she didn’t ask. “Are you going to leave here and seek Lady Billings’s bed?”
He flinched as if she had slapped him. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“You have before. Probably last night, even.” She didn’t bother to hide the hurt she felt. Although she knew he was a rake when she made her request. So she was the only one to blame.
He cupped her cheek, and her heart raced again. “I haven’t been with that woman in a few years, and I shall never do so again.”
“You don’t have to lie to me,” she whimpered, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, which she instantly hated herself for. She had no right to react in that way about such things, especially when she told him she expected nothing from him.
“I’m not lying.”
“Just stop, Elias,” she said, pulling her face from his hand. “I heard you that first night. And besides, I suppose it’s none of my business anyhow.”
“Lydia,” he whispered, stepping closer to her. “You must not have heard the part where I told her I didn’t want her. Ever. And that is the truth.”
She closed her eyes, allowing him to cup her cheek again. Fool as she was, she believed him. “I’m sorry. I just thought…”
“Please don’t apologize. I am well aware of what my reputation is. But I would never have so little respect for you to share what we did and then pursue another woman.”
She nodded, her throat thick with emotion. She reminded herself not to lose her heart to him, as nothing would come from what had occurred.
He placed a tender kiss on her lips and then placed her hand in the crook of his arm. “Do you think you can sleep now?” he asked, grinning at her.
She laughed and covered her face with her free hand, embarrassed that he remembered. “Indeed.”
“Then I have done my job. Let’s get you back upstairs, and then I shall adjourn to my chamber. Alone, I might add.”
He led her out of the library, and they moved cautiously through the corridor and up the stairs, careful not to make a sound. When they reached the top of the stairs, his lips brushed her ear. “Go straight to your chamber. I will remain here in the shadows until I hear your door close.”
She kissed his cheek—unsure why she had done so—and then hurried off down the hall, only a couple of doors away, until she swept into her chamber, not attempting to be completely silent when she closed the door so that Elias could hear it.
Lydia tossed herself across her bed with a silly smile lingering on her face.
She told herself that when she had dared to ask for what she wanted, it would only be to meet her physical needs.
Why couldn’t she use him the way he used other women to curb his desires?
But there appeared to be much more to him than she realized.
Yawning, she positioned herself with her head on her pillow and threw her covers over herself.
She needed her rest, because she already knew that one time experiencing ecstasy with Elias wouldn’t be enough.
If good sense were a cliff, she had already dived off the edge that evening.
She’d have to be much stronger when it came to Elias, if she didn’t wish to find herself hurt by another rake.