Chapter 29
Sutton
Besides the cargo area and cockpit, the only other place I know to look for Zayd is the sleeping quarters. That’s where I find him, sitting on the bottom bunk of the four that fold out from the walls, two bottom, two top, that mirror each other on the outside walls of the chamber.
“Hey,” I say, leaning against the open door frame after the door slides away inside the pocket in the wall.
Zayd stares at the floor, bent over his lap, his forearms resting on his knees.
“This shit’s pretty intense, huh?” I say, and he still doesn’t bite.
When I sit on the bunk across from him, he grimaces and turns his head.
I don’t have to guess why. The combined scents that got us here are extra potent in this tiny room.
“I don’t get it either, Zayd. I’ve never been aroused by another man before. It’s fucking weird.”
Zayd keeps his head turned away from me. “Layla has to be wrong about this. I care about you, Sutton, but I never thought it would be like this. It cannot be like this.”
“I understand. I feel the same way. But… I gotta say, I don’t think Layla’s wrong.”
Zayd whips his head around to look at me, his all-black eyes wide. Scared.
“But I don’t think you’re wrong either,” I add. His expression softens a little, so I continue to explain, “I believe you need to bond with Layla, but I don’t think that’s enough to complete the bond between the three of us because, while she’ll be bonded with both of us, you and I still won’t be.”
Zayd drops his head to stare at the floor again. “How can you be so calm about this? Do you even know what you are saying?”
“There’s something else Layla is right about.
” My hands twitch to reach for him, but I hold back when he raises his eyes to mine again.
“We’ve been denying our feelings. It’s why I ran off.
I felt something for you I didn’t want to feel.
It’s a feeling that’s easier to accept when Layla’s with us.
I wasn’t planning on ever confronting you with this, but leave it to a woman to force us guys to confront our emotions.
” I chuckle, hoping his experience with women is at least somewhat relatable.
The small, reluctant smile that exposes one of his shining white fangs, stark against his purple skin, tells me it is.
“The difference between knowing what is right and doing what is right seems impossible to cross,” Zayd says.
“We don’t have to do anything about it right now. The one thing we have been given out of this whole ordeal is time.”
Zayd sits up straight. “We must use the time we have to show our omega how much we appreciate her. We must destroy every fear she has about us abandoning her.”
“I completely agree.”
His eyes are locked on mine. “We must set aside our own needs and desires and make her our sole focus.”
A reluctant grin twitches the corner of my lips. “There’s another thing that’s easier said than done.”
“Another difference between Throkyns and humans. It is our nature… It is our pleasure to do whatever is necessary to ensure our omega’s happiness and comfort.”
“How do you do it with a raging boner?” I laugh, but I hope he understands that I’m looking for a serious answer. I’d been able to control myself in the past, when it was just Layla and me. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not control the rager I had before we left Earth.
That difference in my ability to control myself then versus now is why Layla feels like a third wheel. She was a hundred percent right about the way I’ve changed.
I need to show her that the changes aren’t proof that I want to leave her behind. They’re the proof that I need to move forward with her and Zayd.
“We are all having to learn and change,” Zayd says, his tone resolute.
“We will help teach Layla to trust us, that we will not abandon her. You and Layla will teach me how to express my emotions and not resort to burying them. And I will teach you how to control your urges to suit her needs and wear your arousal with pride.”
“Even if she is not directly or the only source of my arousal?” I hesitate to look Zayd in the eye.
“I think we are both learning that hiding who we really are and what we really feel is hurting all of us. And I think that as long as Layla knows you will always be here for her, she will have no trouble accepting you or me for who we are,” Zayd assures me, though his jaw is tight.
“That wasn’t easy for you to say, was it?”
“No. But it is the truth. I have changed.” Zayd reaches across the gap between us to clap his clawed hand on my shoulder. “The two of you have irrevocably changed my life.”
“As you have changed ours.” When I reach over to do the same, our foreheads meet, and a reverent calm surrounds us.
“We have left our omega alone too long. We should return to her,” Zayd says, but doesn’t pull away.
My heart thumps on my ribs as my breath grows shallower with each one I take.
“It is all right, Sutton. I feel it too.”
“But we shouldn’t act on it,” I say more for my sake than his.
And it aches. Not just my throbbing cock but also my heart.
Finally, I recognize it as the same feeling I had for Layla when we started dating.
I wanted her. Not just to fuck but to love.
I controlled myself then. Treated her right. Showed her my heart before attempting to take her to bed.
It’s what I need to do now. Show him my heart first.
The rest will follow.
“We should go,” Zayd says, and I follow him back to the galley and to our omega.