Chapter 31
Layla
“What do you mean, it didn’t work?” I ask, but I already know the answer because I’ve been screaming inside my head, and Zayd hasn’t answered.
“The bond did not take,” Zayd says, still rooted inside of me, waiting for his knot to recede. “I am so sorry, Layla. It will be over soon.”
“No. Don’t say it like that. I don’t want it to be over. I just want to know what I did wrong. How do we fix it?”
Zayd wraps his arms around me. He holds me as the tears start streaming down my face. A second later, Sutton’s arms are around us. The three of us are trying desperately to hold together what seems was never meant to be.
“Were we wrong? Were all three of our instincts wrong about all of this?” Sutton asks after Zayd softens and slips free.
But no one lets go. How could we? Letting go would be like admitting defeat. We gave up everything. It can’t have been for nothing.
“I do not know. I can only guess that because Layla is already bonded with you, I cannot bond with her,” Zayd says.
“So, it stands to reason that you could not bond with me either. If that’s what you’re thinking, Layla,” Sutton says when he catches the I-told-you-so written on my face.
“Then we were wrong. This isn’t possible. The three of us,” I say, struggling to steady my racing heart.
Zayd flops in the chair behind him as Sutton pulls his shirt down over my head.
“Thank you,” I say, defeated. We should be celebrating our newly formed bond. I should be happy right now. “It has to work. We just didn’t do it right.”
“It is instinct, Layla. I cannot have done it wrong.” Zayd covers his face with his hand, rubbing his brow.
“But maybe you did because your instinct doesn’t know what to do with us,” I say.
Zayd releases a defeated sigh. “I do not know what to do if I do not have my instinct to guide me on this.”
“Neither do we,” Sutton says to me as if to tell me not to push the issue too hard. “This is all just part of the process. We just need to try something else.”
“What if this was it?” Zayd asks.
“Is that what your heart is telling you?” Sutton asks him.
Zayd ponders for a moment, then answers, “No.”
“That, my friend, is your instinct.” Sutton’s smile seems to ease the tension in Zayd’s body and mine.
“You really believe that we’ll figure this out?” I ask Sutton.
“I believe we owe it to ourselves to try. I know I sure as hell owe it to you.” Sutton comes in close and presses his forehead to mine. “I didn’t fight for you once. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“What now? How long is this trip supposed to take?” I ask Zayd, wrapping my arms around Sutton’s ribs as he turns to lean a hip on the edge of the table next to me.
“At this speed. About seven Earth days.”
“Can we go faster?” Sutton asks, holding his stomach again. “I’d really like to get off this ride as soon as possible.”
“Your bodies are not accustomed to space travel. Going too fast would only worsen the space sickness. The tincture can only do so much,” Zayd explains as he walks over to the replicator recessed into the hull of the ship.
After he punches a set of Throkyn letters into the console, a shot glass of clear liquid materializes on the brightly lit surface.
“I will show you the code to make it yourself. For now, drink,” Zayd says, handing Sutton the glass.
Sutton swigs it down and holds the glass to his forehead. “I fucking hate space travel.”