CHAPTER 3 #2
As I walk out of the station, the sky has lost all of its blue and is now a charcoal colour, readying itself for the next fourteen hours without sun.
I pull in some deep breaths, so deep I fear hyperoxia, and will myself to settle down.
It’s just coffee, and it’s just Nathan. It’s just coffee with Nathan.
No. Big. Deal.
I walk into the toasty oven of the Clapham Pub and spot him immediately. He’s positioned himself in a dark corner towards the back—away from the bulk of the crowd and I guess any prying eyes—but facing the door so he can see me the minute I enter.
As in, right now.
“Hey!” he mouths, waving me over, a bright smile on his face.
I make my way over to him, hoping not to trip or spill anything along the way. I’d say it’s his effect on me, making me clumsy and awkward in my skin, but in reality, it’s how I live my life.
“Hey, Nathan.” I stop in front of him and take a microsecond just to stare.
Like yesterday, he’s in casual jeans and a jumper—navy blue this time to bring out the blue hues in his eyes, with his delicious peacoat draped over the chair behind him.
His hair is messier than yesterday, like the wind had taken it for a ride, and his cheeks are a tad rosier, and altogether he looks hotter than hell.
“Kitty Kat,” he says, like he’s delighted to see me, his eyes taking inventory of me just as mine are of him. “Do you have an army of people hiding under that jacket?”
I flush, my fingers fumbling with the buttons, cursing Jade for not talking me out of wearing this thing. It’s big and bulky and makes me look like the Michelin Man. Or like I’m the size of an army of people, apparently.
“Shut up. It’s cold,” I say, slinging the offending outerwear over my chair and turning back to face him. The amusement on his face fades, replaced by something more serious as his gaze travels down my body and up again.
I sit down and focus on anything but him.
“Nathan? Have you ordered, yet?” I tilt my head to where a server is hovering near our table. Her eyes are on Nathan, a dazed expression on her face similar to the one he’s also wearing.
He shakes his head slightly and blinks. “Uh, no. I was waiting for you.”
“Great, well, I’ll get a hot chocolate, please.”
The server nods, not tearing her gaze from the man across from me. Fair. He’s hard to look away from.
“And for you?” she asks, her voice low with a come-hither quality to it. I wonder how long it’s taken her to perfect that tone.
“I’ll have what she’s having.”
My eyes dart to his. Does he know he’s quoting one of the greatest rom-com movie lines of all time?
His eyes twinkle back at me, and I giggle. This is the guy I remember from school. It’s just Nathan. No need to be nervous.
“You look gorgeous, by the way,” he says, focusing the heat of his stare on me.
My nerves fly everywhere.
“Thanks.” I pull my blanket of hair over my shoulder, giving my restless hands something to do, and he follows the movement closely.
“I’m not sure how I ever forgot about your hair…” he murmurs, almost to himself.
Shifting in my chair, I resist the urge to pull it all up into a ponytail, thus ruining all the work we put into it. I’m always this way when anyone focuses on my hair; even if it’s just to admire it.
“There’s a lot of it to remember,” I point out. “How was Cherry’s flat farewell?”
He leans back in his chair, his long legs bumping into mine under the table. I shuffle to the side, acutely aware of how close all of him is to all of me.
“It was fun. Nicky was his grumpy self, muttering about how long it’s taken to get her to move in with him. It’s been two weeks,” he clarifies, answering my querying eyebrows. “So, that was fun. The man won everything this year, including the girl, and he’s still grumpy.”
I sigh. Watching the romance between Cherry and Nicky unfold this year has been so much fun.
Like seeing a romantic comedy playing out in real life.
“I think it’s cute. They are adorable together, and he clearly knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to show it.
They have that sort of love, you know? You can see it through the screen; the way he looks at her… ”
Nathan is grinning at me, and I break off mid-sentence, embarrassed by my ramblings. These people are his friends, not characters in the rom-com I’ve turned their lives into.
“Let me tell you.” He leans forward, and I mirror him. “It was even more fun to watch up close and personal.”
His warm breath tickles my face, and I realise how close we’ve gotten. Straightening up, I clear my throat, grateful for the distraction of the two cups of steaming hot chocolate being placed in front of us.
“So, tell me, Katie. What have you been up to these last few years?”
I stare at him for a beat, gauging his sincerity. “I, um, studied at uni after my A levels.”
He nods, looking interested in hearing more.
“Like, a lot. A lot, a lot,” I add. “I ended up completing my PhD in cancer research, which is what I’m still working on now. In between lecturing, which is how I pay my bills.”
A proud smile unfurls on his face. “I always knew you’d do something like that. That you’d be something special.”
I snort. He thinks what I do is special? He’s a World Champion Formula 1 driver, one of only a handful in the world!
“I’m serious,” he argues. “Back at school, you were the smartest person in our year level. In the entire school. I was in awe of how your brain worked. And now you’re using it to make the world a better place. To make a difference.”
A warmth spreads through my chest as I digest his words.
“Thank you, Nathan. It’s nice to hear. I don’t think I’m making much of a difference, though.
..science moves at a glacial pace and is chronically under-funded.
But I do enjoy knowing I’m playing a small role in advancing treatment options for patients with cancer. ”
His face clouds over. “Your mum?” he asks in a hushed tone.
I swallow painfully. “Yeah…”
We sink into a heavy silence, and I take a sip of my drink, scrambling to get my thoughts together. How have we landed back on my mum again?
“How’s your family?” I ask finally, needing to move the attention off me. “How’s Rosie?”
Nathan’s younger sister also went to school with us. I remember Rosie as a stunning, blond fairylike creature who shimmered and sparkled her way through the hallways. She was friendly and beloved by everyone. Kinda like Nathan.
His gaze softens at the mention of his sister. “She’s great. Lives in London still, not too far from me.”
That must be nice. To have family close by. To have a family at all.
“And your brother?”
His lips flatten into a tight line, and I realise too late my mistake.
It had been huge news a few months ago, when Nathan’s long-term girlfriend, the breathtaking Victoria, had broken up with him only to get together with his older brother George a few days later.
The reporting at the time had been brutal, and I remember how heartbroken he was.
How devastated he looked through it all.
And now I’ve gone and brought it all up again.
“Sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
His nostrils flare, the only outward sign that he’s bothered by it, as he waves it away. “It’s fine. All in the past. I’d rather talk about you.”
Me? I titter out a small laugh. He doesn’t realise that, in the few sentences we’ve already exchanged, we’ve already covered all of me. And then some.
I lick my dry lips, and his eyes follow the movement of my tongue. “Um, I’m pretty boring. Not too much more to share.”
He shakes his head with a wry smile. “You are the furthest thing from boring I can ever imagine.”
Wow. That’s…something.
“But tell me this,” he continues, like he hadn’t just knocked the wind out of me. “The Katie I remember loved Christmas. You adored the holiday season, wearing reindeer headbands and candy cane earrings.”
I did? I think back, trying to picture a time where the festive season was…festive. “You remember that?”
He smiles that secret smile again. “I don’t think you realise how closely I paid attention to you back then.”
Hmm. That’s it. I’m dead.
“So, yes,” he continues like he hadn’t just slayed me. “I remember that. So, imagine my surprise when I’m in your flat and it’s three weeks out from Christmas. There’s not a tree or decoration in sight.”
I flush, surprised again that he noticed any of that in the short time he was up there. At least it wasn’t my beige underwear that got his attention. For that, I’ll forever be grateful.
“Ah, I mean, I still love Christmas. Especially the holiday movies. But have you ever tried to get a Christmas tree up into a flat on the first floor by yourself? It’s so comically hard, they’ve made it into many a sad single girl scene in Christmas movies.”
His handsome head tilts to the side, confused.
“You know. In When Harry Met Sally or While You Were Sleeping? The scenes where the single gals are all trudging along in the snow, trying to wrangle a tree into their sad single gal flats? That’s me. Or that would be me, if I even attempted it.”
“What about a fake tree?”
I glare at him. “Not in a million years.”
His chuckle is deep and does things to my insides. Everything about him—his scent, his voice, his jumper—is rich and decadent and has me feeling fluttery.
“Then I guess we’ll have to figure out a way to get that tree into your sad single gal flat this year.”
I stare into his face, tracing the contours and planes that make it almost perfect, and sigh.
I don’t believe he’s going to do anything to help me make my Christmas season more Christmassy, but it’s nice of him to say it.
To notice something that was once there and a part of me that is now missing and want to fix it.
To remember a part of me I’d almost forgotten.
It’s so nice, I relax back into my chair, order another hot chocolate and let myself enjoy this moment in time with Nathan Jackson. My old friend, and also, world-famous F1 driver.