Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Freya
When I finally get my first glimpse of Elliot coming toward me from the other end of the corridor, it feels like the world suddenly comes into focus.
Even more so when he smiles, like everything was shifted a few millimeters until that smile put it all right again.
He is alone, and though I wonder where Derek is, I can hardly concentrate on anything but the fact that, while escorting me in my search for Elliot, my two guards stopped on the other side of the doors to the family wing to speak to Gregor.
Which means I am also very much alone.
I see the moment Elliot realizes this too, and his eyes darken as he picks up his pace to cut the distance between us. His smile turns roguish as he gets closer, and his lips form my name without making a sound.
I am not as silent, breathing out his name with relief because I no longer have a weight on my chest now that he is here.
When he reaches me, Elliot’s hand finds my waist and pulls me close, his forehead pressed to mine, and he seems to breathe me in before he murmurs, “Hey, Rapunzel.”
“I do not recall giving you the morning off, Mr. Reid.”
His other hand presses to the other side of my waist, enveloping me and pulling me even closer. “Mm, I was following orders.”
“Not mine.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
Feeling reckless, I tilt my head back and let my eyes rest on his lips. “I can think of a few things.”
“Freya, is that you?”
I jump back at the sound of my mother’s voice coming through the ajar door on my right, my heart pounding like it always did when I was caught doing something I should not as a child.
I had not noticed where in the family wing Elliot and I reached each other, but of course it was directly in front of my parents’ sitting room.
“Yes, Mum,” I squeak, wincing at the guilt in my voice, then glaring when Elliot lifts an eyebrow, as if I am the only one in the wrong. Tempted to smack him in the chest, I clear the guilt from my throat and say, “I was just speaking with Agent Storme.”
“Ah, is she still here?”
My eyes lock onto Elliot’s hand, which slowly inches closer to mine, and I narrow my eyes. “She agreed to stay for the ball tonight.” Elliot’s pinky brushes mine, electric with the contact, and I drop my voice to whisper, “You are too bold, Mr. Reid.”
He smirks as his fingers lace with mine. “So I’ve been told.”
“Come inside a moment,” Mum says, breaking us apart once more. Though her voice is stern, that is normal for her and does not necessarily mean she is angry. “You as well, Mr. Reid.”
With a long, worried look at Elliot, who frowns, I set my shoulders back and push open the door, stepping inside with my head held high and Elliot a few paces behind me.
Both my parents are in the sitting room, each in their usual spots on the loveseat, Dad with a cup of tea and Mum with a tablet.
The sight is so familiar that it almost calms me.
Almost. The uncompromising furrow in Mum’s brow does not promise a cheery conversation, and even Dad looks a bit worried.
Swallowing, I do my best not to look like a child as I sit on a chaise opposite them. “You wish to talk?”
Mum’s eyes shift to Elliot behind me. “I hope you were able to rest this morning, Mr. Reid.”
“Some, Your Majesty.”
“Not enough,” Dad says with a soft chuckle.
“I won’t disagree,” Elliot replies. “Derek Riley arrived at Stonemere this morning with some news from home, so my body has been at rest, but unfortunately my mind hasn’t.”
I twist to look at him and note the set of his jaw and hard lines around his eyes that were not there out in the hall. “What news?” I ask, knowing it likely has to do with whatever put Derek on edge.
Though he keeps his expression neutral, Elliot cannot hide the rise in tension in his body when his eyes jump to me for only a moment. “Nothing related to you or your campaign, Your Highness.”
“If you need the day,” Mum says, softening in a way she rarely softens with me, “Gregor can handle security during tonight’s ball.”
Elliot smiles. “With all due respect, ma’am, I’m determined to stay by the princess’s side whenever possible until everything with the election is settled.” He looks at me again, but so briefly that I cannot read what his eyes seem to be saying.
He did not say until the election is settled. He is talking about everything else. Is he saying he will not take another break until my life is a little more calm, or does he not intend to stay by my side beyond that? I hate that I do not know and cannot ask. Not here.
“Yes, well, that is precisely why I called you in here, Freya.” Mum sets her tablet on the table in front of her and laces her fingers together on her lap, sitting up taller, and I brace for another lecture about being too close to my bodyguard.
“I wonder when you were going to tell me that Markham Grimstad offered for your hand in marriage? Before or after you made the announcement?”
For a moment, I can hear nothing but a ringing in my ears, and I am certain I heard her wrong.
But I know that look in her eyes, a mixture of anger and disappointment that leaves a sting that lingers long after she has left a room.
I can barely breathe, but I have enough air to whisper, “How did you find out?”
She sighs. “So, it is true?”
Should I have told her as soon as Markham proposed?
Yes. Not only is she my queen, but she is my mother.
An offer of marriage, particularly on the eve of an election that will change the course of my life, is not something to hide.
But I did. As far as I know, there are only five people—my friends excluded—who even know about the proposal, so I ask again. “How?”
“One of the staff heard you and Derek talking this morning,” Dad says, offering a sympathetic smile. “I thought you would remember that the walls have ears, dear.”
There were two palace guards in the room with me. Was it one of them who opened his big mouth? I suppose it hardly matters because my father is right, and I should have been more careful.
Feeling even more like a child than when I walked in here, I drop my head. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?” Mum says, her tone sharp. “As you were marching to the courthouse?”
“I haven’t accepted him yet,” I snap back.
“For heaven’s sake, why not?”
I lift my head to stare at her, once again certain that I heard her wrong. “What?”
Mum sighs more heavily this time, glancing at Dad as if to gain strength from the sight of him alone. When that fails, she reaches for his hand and holds it tight. “What are the terms of his proposal?”
“I…” I am too confused by her last question to answer this one.
Mum looks behind me.
“He offered to step back,” Elliot says, hesitation in his words. “To let Freya become the elected monarch. As her husband, he gives the people a common voice without disrupting the nature of Candora’s government.”
“I have not accepted him,” I say again. Why is Elliot speaking as if I have?
“Which could be seen as foolish on your part,” Mum says, shaking her head at me. “Markham Grimstad has given you a way to ensure your victory, and you are questioning it?”
“Questioning a marriage to a man I do not know?” I reply. “Yes! Of course!”
“You are a princess, Freya. You have always known your duty.” Her eyes slide to Elliot again, and her brow furrows, as if she is only now remembering the conversation we had over the phone a few days ago. “What is your opinion of this, Mr. Reid?”
Do not ask him that, I silently beg her. Do not answer that, I beg him.
No matter what he says, someone is not going to like the answer.
Though I do not look at him, I can almost feel Elliot’s discomfort. “This really isn’t my place,” he says gruffly.
“I am asking you anyway,” Mum replies. “You were clearly there when Grimstad proposed, and you have spent the last two weeks at my daughter’s side. Since she cannot tell me why she is hesitating, perhaps you can.”
“I won’t speak for her, Your Majesty.”
Thank you.
“But politically, a union makes the most sense. Grimstad’s reasoning was that the country is divided, and he’s not wrong. Especially now. If the princess wanted to secure her place on the throne, this would be the best way to do it.”
“The princess has her own opinions,” I say, and the words taste like ice. I refuse to look back at my bodyguard after thinking he would be on my side.
Now I understand why Derek was so certain I could not discuss the matter with Elliot.
What I do not understand is how Elliot’s opinion changed so thoroughly.
When Grimstad first proposed, Elliot was so against the idea that he shouted at me in the streets of Havenford.
After the moments we shared in Wulfric’s cabin—even out in the corridor only a minute ago—I never would have thought Elliot would encourage me to take Grimstad’s hand.
I know as well as he does that the law prevents him from being an option, but… My heart seems to turn to stone in my chest as that thought becomes clear in my mind, perhaps for the first time. Elliot was never going to be a choice I could make. No matter how much I want him, I can never have him.
He knows this.
Maybe this is his way of letting me go. Telling me that the battle to be together is not one worth fighting.
“We know this is a big decision,” Dad says, and his gentle voice settles like a warm blanket around me.
“You are a lot older than we were when we were married, so the decision must feel even bigger. But a political marriage is not always so bad, and you could do far worse than Markham Grimstad. Look at how things turned out for your mother and me. We knew nothing about each other before our betrothal, and yet love grew between us.”
With my heart aching over a loss I did not realize I would experience today, I glance between my parents and smile despite everything.
The way they look at each other… Even my stern and stoic mother softens when she meets her husband’s eyes.
“Dad, you are the gentlest man in existence and have the kindest heart. How could she not love you? Markham may be kind, but he is not like you.”
“And you are not like me,” Mum says, turning from Dad to look at me.
She has said that before, and it always felt like an insult, no matter how many times I claimed the same thing.
But today, with her words soft and her gaze warmer than I have ever seen it, it almost feels like…
praise. “Freya,” she says, “You and I have had our differences, and I have likely been harder on you than I should have.”
A laugh escapes me in a quick exhale. “Likely?”
To my surprise, she actually smiles in return.
“Without question,” she amends. “You have always been so eager for the throne, and I wanted to help you be the best version of yourself. But what I thought was the right path is different from the path you have forged for yourself. I have pushed you. Too often. You know my opinion, but I will not push you in this decision. I will support whatever you choose.” She sits forward, her eyes turning sad.
“But you must know that time is running out. With the election in two days, you need—”
“I will make the announcement tonight.” Strange, how my own voice sounds foreign to me.
“All of you are right, and an alliance with Grimstad is best for everyone.” Standing, I ignore the surprised looks on my parents’ faces and turn to Elliot, though I cannot bring myself to meet his gaze.
I keep my eyes on the place where the bullet tore through him, as if that is easier to face than whatever look might be in his eyes.
“Mr. Reid, if you could escort me to where Markham is staying, he and I can have a conversation before the ball.”
“Actually, I need a word with Mr. Reid in private,” Mum says.
Elliot slips his hand into his pocket and withdraws my phone. “You’ll probably find him in the gardens,” he says, holding the device out to me. He sounds wrong too, like he is speaking through a mask.
When I take my phone, his fingers brush mine and leave my hand tingling with the same electricity from before, and I wonder how long it will take before I feel that connection with Markham instead. “Thank you,” I say weakly.
“There will be plenty of guards to keep an eye on you wherever you go.”
“Thank you,” I say again. I don’t know what else I can say. I look up enough to see him dip his chin in response, and then I slip from the room before my emotions catch up to me.
I am making the right decision. I know I am. But that does not mean it is not going to hurt.