Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Willa
D inner was delicious but exhausting. Lila had found an incredible person who treated her like a queen. And this lovely group of people celebrating their love together like this was wonderful. She deserved it. I couldn’t have been more pleased for her.
So why was I so out of sorts?
I’d begged off karaoke, opting for quiet time to think.
I walked for a while, enjoying the cool night air and taking in the sights and sounds of the Vegas strip before heading back to the Bellagio.
Out front, I sat on an ornate bench, watching the world-famous fountains, soaking in the peacefulness of the moment.
“Can I join you?”
Startled by the deep voice, I turned. Cole Hebert, of all people, stood behind the bench, hands stuffed in his pockets. He was so damn tall I had to push my shoulders back in order to crane my neck far enough to look him in the eye. His dress shirt was unbuttoned, and he’d rolled up the sleeves. It was unfair how effortlessly handsome he was. Jackass.
“Sure.” I shrugged.
Cole and I had grown up in the same town and graduated together, but we’d barely said more than a few words to one another. For many years, he’d dated my best friend. Even so, I kept my distance. I’d had a front-row seat to their dysfunctional relationship, and while they were wrong for each other, I was ride or die for my bestie. Plus, he was the epitome of an entitled jock, and I, well, I was me.
His large, strong hand caught my eye as he ran it through his hair, and a flash of color on his wrist caught my eye.
“What’s that?”
He held out his wrist so I could take in the two beaded friendship bracelets. They were made of crimson, white, and black beads, the color of the Lovewell Lynx, our town mascot.
“My team made them for me.” He shrugged. “I coach now.”
One read Coach , with hearts on each side.
I ran my fingers over the beads of the other, politely ignoring how close our bodies were. “What does this one say?”
“Lady Lynx.” He twisted it around so I could see the lettered beads. “I tried explaining to them that, as a species, lynx are not gendered and can be male or female.” He shrugged. “But if I’ve learned one thing in the last couple of months, it’s that there’s no reasoning with eight-year-old girls.”
I nodded, smiling. It was strangely endearing that he was wearing a suit and still rocking his friendship bracelets.
“You like kids.” It was a statement, not a question.
Lila had confided in me after their breakup that one point of contention for them was Cole wanted children someday and Lila did not. According to her, they both thought they would eventually change the other’s mind, but after several years, it became clear that would never happen.
He nodded. “Always have. I love coaching and sharing my love of the game.”
“And you’re an uncle.”
He smiled. “Best job ever. Merry is the coolest, and I can’t wait until Baby Thor and I can get into trouble together.” He laughed to himself. “And now Gus. That kid’s gonna be so serious. I’ll have to work extra hard to get laughs there, I’m sure.”
I smiled. This was a side of Cole Hebert I’d never seen before.
We stared at the fountain in silence for a few minutes, my mind spinning with thoughts about whether coming on this trip had been a mistake. I was too tired and stressed to enjoy myself, and I didn’t want to drag down my friends with me.
I was content to sit in silence like that, but then Cole put his elbows on his knees, hung his head, and in a soft voice, said, “That dinner was awkward.”
A dark chuckle rumbled out of me. “You don’t say.” As much as I disliked him on principle—because he was Lila’s ex-boyfriend, of course—I couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. His ex was engaged to his half-brother. His clean-cut, corporate, responsible, successful older brother. I was an only child, but even I could see how that could sting.
Shaking his head, he sighed. “Not for the reasons you think.”
“Then start talking,” I said, shifting his way.
“I’m happy for Lila. She’s incredible, and she deserves all the good things.”
“Correct,” I said with a firm nod. Lila and Mags were my ride or die. Always had been. Honestly, my ability to refrain from throwing this giant asshole into the fountain was a testament to how evolved I was.
“I know, I know. And I agree. I’m not good enough for Lila. Owen is.”
My heart twisted a little at his resigned tone. They had been wrong for each other from the start, sure. They were fundamentally different people. But I hadn’t expected to see him like this.
“It’s just—while I’m grateful to be included in this with my brothers, it only underscores how far removed I am from them. I’ve always been the odd man out.”
Head tilted, I surveyed him. The entire town knew that Cole’s father had knocked up Cole’s mom—his secretary—and then left his wife and five sons. Cole, despite his innocence in the entire saga, had never quite fit in with the rest of the Hebert brothers.
“It’s my own fault,” he continued, tugging at his hair in a way that was strangely endearing. “I keep fucking up and making things worse.”
“I wasn’t going to mention your arrest.” But I might as well now that he was alluding to it.
Cole’s antics were town lore at this point. He’d been acting out for attention since childhood. And he’d gotten plenty of attention for being a great hockey player. My psych training didn’t go beyond one rotation during my internship, but even I could see what was going on.
Head still bowed, he turned and quirked a brow. It was unfair how handsome he was. Darker and taller than his brothers, he carried his big frame with the grace of a ballerina. “Why? The whole town knows. No sense in ignoring the obvious.”
Giving in to my curiosity, I asked, “Why’d you do it?”
“Wish I knew. I was drunk, high, and lashing out. I was mad at myself and my father. And I threw a tantrum like a fucking child.”
Despite the topic, a trickle of appreciation ran through me. This man was far more emotionally honest and self-aware than I had expected. As a person who carried around a lot of anger at herself, I felt for him. I put a hand on his shoulder, hoping to imbue a little comfort. “We all fuck up. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself.”
Focused on the ground in front of him, he shook his head. “Not true. You don’t fuck up.”
I scoffed. “Of course I do.”
He sat up, dark brows tugged down dubiously. He didn’t want my pity. That was clear. But for a man I had pegged as an emotionally constipated jock, Cole Hebert was full of surprises.
“Sure, Willa.”
My hackles rose at his tone. “You don’t know me. I’ve had my share of fuck-ups.”
“Really? Oh no . Did you once get an A-minus on a test?”
He gasped and fanned himself like he was going to faint.
“No.” Shaking his head, he shifted to face me. “No, I’ve got it. You wore white after Labor Day? You once threw away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it?” He was chuckling now.
While I was annoyed that he saw me as an uptight goody-goody, it was nice to see his morose demeanor lighten up a bit.
I rolled my eyes. “You done?”
He laughed. “You know you’re cute when you’re annoyed.”
Cheeks heating, I turned and faced the fountain. The last thing I wanted was to be on the receiving end of any of this man’s flirtation, so why was I overwhelmed with the sudden urge to flirt back?
I didn’t like Cole. Not a bit. He was not a good person. And even if he was, he was my best friend’s ex.
Unsure of how to respond to his comment and seriously considering running back to my hotel room, I kept my mouth shut and my focus set on the lights and water shooting from the ground.
“You gonna tell me why you’re here, staring vacantly at the fountain and not partying with your friends?” he asked, low and deep. “Or are you just gonna sit there while I die of shame beside you?”
Relief washed through me. He was letting me off the hook. I couldn’t begin to articulate all the reasons I was anchored to this bench right now.
Finally looking at him, I lifted my chin. “No one has ever died of shame.”
“You sure about that?” His dark eyes twinkled.
The Hebert blue eyes were famous in our town. Cole was the only brother with brown eyes. And in this light, they weren’t just brown, but gold and a little gray. Beautiful and strangely complex.
“I am a physician,” I said, leaning into an annoyed tone. “I’ve read a lot of medical journals, and I’ve never once come across a peer-reviewed, double-blind, placebo-controlled study of shame-related deaths.”
He threw his hands up and let out a huff, then he nudged me with his giant shoulder. “Fine. You got me there, Doc. So why so glum? I shared my story.”
The spark that ignited inside me when his shoulder bumped mine should have sent me on my way. I should have been hightailing it back to my room so I could read and get a good night’s sleep. Instead, I opened my mouth and let my honest thoughts spill out. Must have been the exhaustion. Or maybe the alcohol my friends had been forcing on me since I arrived.
“Just trying to reset. It’s been a rough few months.”
Cole’s lips turned down. “I’m sorry about your dad. He’s been my doctor since birth, and he’s always been kind to me. He saw me a lot as a kid. I was always dealing with broken bones and various childhood injuries from trying to keep up with my brothers.”
My heart clenched. My dad was one in a million. The town was filled with stories like Cole’s. “Thank you.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Better.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “A lot better. He and my mom are headed to a rehab facility in Portland after Christmas. He’ll get intensive physical and occupational therapy while he’s there.” Licking my lips, I ducked my head. “We’re lucky he’s alive, but you know my dad. He wants to come back from this stronger than ever, and regaining what he lost will be hard.”
“I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for him. Is he still struggling?”
I nodded. “Cognitively, he’s great. Just more tired than usual. The big issue is his hands.”
I looked down at my own. No rings, short nails, sturdy fingers. Doctor’s hands, my father had always said.
“Hands are a big deal to doctors,” I explained. “Not just surgeons. They give us access to our patients, allow us to learn about them and assess symptoms. So to not have his hands…” It was unthinkable. I studied my hands again, my throat tightening as I thought about my dad. The larger-than-life man who’d kept an entire county healthy and never missed a piano recital or an opportunity to help me with my math homework.
Cole gave me a gentle nudge. “So you’re filling in for him?”
I nodded.
“For how long?”
“Forever. Even if he makes a full recovery, he’s in his sixties and was planning to hand the practice over to me eventually. I thought I’d have a few more years for training and for enjoying life somewhere other than Lovewell, Maine, but here I am.”
“And you’re a real doctor already?”
A hint of irritation sparked through me like it did every time someone discounted me. I’d faced this question regularly since taking over the medical practice in town.
“I’m board certified in internal medicine,” I said slowly. “And completed X and Y.”
“Sorry.” He winced. “I wasn’t trying to offend you. You’re so young.”
“I’m fully qualified. And Dr. Walters came out of retirement to help out.”
A shudder racked Cole’s body. “He’s still alive?”
“Yes,” I said. “And still as charming as ever. But he’s a damn good doctor. He’s only in three days a week, but it’s a big help to me.”
“Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Vegas is a great place to cut loose.”
I nodded. “That was my plan. But.” I pressed my lips together, working through a way to explain my thoughts to someone like him. “My friends…” Sighing, I shook my head. “Things are different now. Lila is off living in Boston, going to grad school, engaged and living her dreams.” I was happy for her. She deserved it all. But all this change was unsettling. “And Magnolia is globe-trotting. Dating someone new. Wheeling and dealing and lending me a house.”
“You feel left behind,” he said softly.
A dull pang echoed through my chest. That was exactly it.
He held my gaze for a long moment, and understanding passed between us. “Welcome to the club,” he said, lowering his head. “Want me to teach you the secret handshake?”
I smiled, grateful for the levity he’d brought to the conversation. “Is it complicated?”
“Nah. Mostly shaking your fist at the universe and moping.”
Strangely, a little bubble of joy erupted inside me. “Ooh. I’ll be great at that.”
“So,” he said, sitting back on the bench, “in celebration of your induction into the left-behind saddie club, let’s have some fun.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“Nothing in particular. But if you want to get a little wild and forget about your troubles for a day or two, Vegas is the place, and I’m an excellent wingman.”
Huh. The sensations that continued to spark inside me were damn confusing. The last person I expected to hang out with in Vegas was Cole Hebert. But he wasn’t wrong. We were the two odd men out here. We’d both been left behind by our people.
I pushed my hair behind my ears, hit by the strangest urge to open up to him. “I thought I’d have a few years in New York with my friends. We had plans. Well, I had plans.”
“What kind of plans?”
“To get more training and become an awesome doctor, obviously,” I said. “But also to start living for me. Develop my friendships, find hobbies, have the kind of experiences everyone lives through in their twenties.”
“But you’re thirty.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” I glared at him, though there was no heat behind it. He was just stating the obvious. “But I spent my twenties in med school, then completing an internship and residency. I put everything I had into my career.” My shoulders slumped at the thought. “I’m grateful. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been counting down to the moment it would finally be my turn to get a little wild. Make some mistakes, be silly, figure out who I am beyond medicine.”
He nodded, his eyes softening.
Why the hell I was telling all my innermost thoughts to the hockey bro who’d screwed over my best friend was beyond me, but I felt at ease with him.
It was bizarre, really. I was not what would be considered smooth around guys, especially super-hot, massively tall, built guys like Cole. But he was strangely easy to talk to. Maybe because he was my best friend’s ex-boyfriend and firmly off limits? That had to be the reason.
“Then you have come to the right place.” He straightened, his lips tipping up on one side. “Vegas has a way of bringing out the wild. And I can help.”
Dubious, I inspected him from head to toe. Why on earth would someone like him want to hang out with someone like me? “Really? You are a Vegas expert?”
“A washed-up pro athlete with no prospects? Please, this place was made for people like me.”
I’d never seen him like this, self-deprecating and a bit silly. This man didn’t fit into the mold of the guy I’d known my whole life. The guy who’d always taken himself way too seriously and thought he was better than everyone else.
“Are you playing golf with the rest of the group tomorrow?”
“No.” I shook my head. “You?”
“Fuck no. I hate golf.”
Seriously? Could’ve fooled me. Cole’s demeanor screamed popped-collar golf bro. “You seem like a golfer.”
With one brow cocked, he put a hand to his heart. “I take offense to that. My dad was obsessed with golf.” He wiped at the front of his shirt absently. “And since I’ve spent my life hating him, I decided at a young age that I hated golf. I’m sure it’s a delightful way to spend a day, but I’ve come this far. There’s no going back now.”
I laughed, again taken aback by his honesty.
“Since everyone else is playing golf tomorrow, why don’t we meet up and have some Vegas fun? We can forget about our troubles and ignore the way all our people have left us behind.”
The thought alone settled me in a way I didn’t think possible.
I should sleep, maybe get a massage and catch up on my journals.
But when he looked at me like that, his brown eyes sparkling, there was no way I could say no.
My impression of Cole Hebert—and growing up in a small town with someone made it impossible not to make and hold on to those impressions long past their usefulness—was that he was an entitled, arrogant jerk who lived a life of minimal consequences and maximum partying.
But if our conversation tonight was anything to go by, there was more to the story. And despite my better judgment, I was curious.
“Okay,” I said softly, dipping my chin. “Tomorrow.”
He rubbed his hands together, grinning. “I won’t let you down. You wanna get wild, Dr. Willa Savard?”
I laughed and nodded. “Why not?”
“Then I am the man for the job.”