Chapter 11 #2
I lead Blair up the back steps and into the house.
We move through the kitchen, down the hallway and to the door that leads to the basement.
I pause only to punch in the code at the keypad to unlock the basement door.
I open the thick metal barrier when the little light on the pad turns green, then nod my head to indicate for Blair to head down first. Blair glances at the keypad, then at me, then down to the clearly unfinished basement that lights up when I flip the light switch.
Rather than ask about any of it, she descends the steps.
Quietly, I follow behind her, shutting the door behind us. I don’t really care if the others come down here any other time, the security isn’t to keep them out, but this conversation needs to be between just me and Blair.
My skin feels overheated despite the cooler night. My jaw is tense. I fight the urge to grind my teeth as I follow her down the stairs.
I’m anxious. I’m excited. I’m hungry for the woman ahead of me. All I want to do is reach out and wrap my fingers around her neck so that I can pull her up against my body and feel the warmth of her skin bleed into mine. My movement feels stiff as I reach the landing.
Blair pauses to look around the spacious basement.
I barely spare the rest of the room a glance. Metal shelving sits in rows in the middle of the large cement room. Prepper gear fills them: camping supplies, boxes of MREs, cases of water, and everything else in between. Along the perimeter of the room are three sets of bunk beds.
“A bunker? Really, Ledger?” She scoffs, then laughs lightly. “Are you expecting the end of the world?”
A tight smile pulls at my lips. It goes unnoticed as I pass Blair who's looking around, and head for my desk.
“You, better than most, should know how important it is to be prepared for anything.”
“Yeah, well, I figured you were more of a ‘go out in a blaze of glory’ kind of person if zombies ever rose up or something,” she replies, then giggles.
Amusement loosens the tightness in my chest. I toggle the mouse to wake the computer up and sit down behind my desk.
“Come here,” I tell her. “I want to show you something.”
Blair does as she’s told without hesitation. My cock stirs to life as I watch her approach. She’s always been obedient. She’s had to be. Given Anchor’s career choice, following orders was the difference between life and death. I wonder if she’s this obedient in other aspects of her life?
She sits on the edge of the desk and looks at the little security feeds. All the little squares from the cameras placed around the property are up for us to see.
All except for the one in her bedroom.
“I wanted to show you this,” I tell her, voice gruff as I watch her stare at the screens.
“I have over a hundred cameras all over my property that I can connect to with just a push of a button. I monitor them here and on my phone. The guys upstairs can access it too. We’ll all know if someone comes searching for you here, okay?
We can handle trouble if it comes our way. ”
The corners of Blair’s mouth tip downwards as she continues to stare.
“It’s not just one person, Ledger,” she says, softly. “There were multiple people after me, and they just kept coming.”
“If they do keep coming, we’re equipped to handle it,” I promise.
Blair’s face softens as she tears her gaze away from the screen to look at me. The concern on her face is raw and tender as she searches my face. The expression is so at odds with the dangerous woman I know she is and the happy woman she’d been only minutes ago.
Before I get too lost in her softer side, I turn back to the computer. My fingers fly over the keyboard, and the security cameras disappear. The screen goes blank before coding flies across it. It takes several minutes to bypass security, to access the separate VPN, and dive deep into the dark web.
“What is this?” Blair asks, leaning closer. Her hand lands near the keyboard and though my fingers don’t stop moving, my pulse stutters at her proximity.
Rather than reply, I keep coding. The encrypted message begins to descend down the page. None of it would make sense to Blair, who—as far as I’m aware—has no skill in coding. After another few minutes, I sit back and stare at my work.
“I just sent out a message to a few contacts asking about any unusual or high-profile open contracts,” I explain. “If someone has a lead for me to follow, I’ll be able to flush out more information. We’ll get to the bottom of who is after you and Anchor soon.”
Blair’s eyes drop from the screen as her fingers curl around the edge of the desk, and she nods. “Thank you, I really appreciate this, Ledger.”
Unable to stop, I reach up and slide my fingers beneath her chin. This doesn’t count as touching, does it? It’s harmless. I don’t think of this as breaking my vow to Wesley.
When I force her to lift her head, our eyes meet, and I find hers glittering with unshed tears.
“You never have to thank me, Blair.” My voice is rough, thickening and growing deeper as that fucked up part of me rises; demanding I consume the woman before me. “You and I… We’re family.”
Oh, we’re so much more than that. And when her eyes bore into mine, I see that she knows it too. Whatever inspired her to lunge at me all those years ago, it’s still there, burning beneath the surface. She’s hiding it well, but this close, I can practically hear her soul calling out for me.
I suck in a deep breath as my cock stirs to life. She’s here, under my care, where I can watch over and be in her life, but I can’t indulge in the urge to claim her. Blair’s as much mine as she can ever be—this has to be enough.
It has to be.
“While you’re here, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of in every way possible,” I vow.
“Your every need, and want, will be met—I’ll make sure of that.
There might be an adjustment period as you get your footing here, but your life hasn’t stopped, it’s just gone in a different direction, alright?
Your life—” belongs to me “—is yours to live.”
Blair’s lips part and she sucks in a shaky breath, holding my gaze.
My hand drops from beneath her chin to her thigh, but she doesn’t look away.
Even when I give her a gentle squeeze. My heart thunders in my chest as she seems to unconsciously lean toward me.
Fuck me… All I want to do is close the distance between us and drink her in until I’ve absolutely consumed her.
My grip on her thigh tightens as I fight the tremor that rushes through me.
“Ledger,” Blair breathes. “You can’t say stuff like that.”
I scowl. “Why not?”
“Because I-I…” She scoffs and looks away from me.
“Because I thought I was over you but hearing words like that make it so very, painfully clear that I’m not.
So, I need you to be the gruff asshole I know you typically are, okay?
For both of our sakes. Or I can’t promise I won’t do something stupid again. ”
“Something stupid?” I repeat. I battle the urge to smile but lose and Blair notices. Her eyes narrow on me as her head turns in my direction again. “You’re talking about how you kissed me while it was raining bullets.”
“Yeah, that,” she admits. “I thought this was going to be awkward and uncomfortable—seeing you after that. But here you are, taking care of me just like you always have.” The tension gathering in her shoulders loosens.
“Thank you, but don’t… don’t say all those sweet words.
It’s not going to make settling in any easier. ”
Ah, fuck.
The confirmation that she also feels this thing between us causes me to lose my grip on my self-control.
The laugh that slips past my lips is rough and bitter.
My arm shoots out and I grab Blair by the front of her neck and give it a tight squeeze.
The devil inside me wells up and, try as I might, I can’t push him down.
I rise from my seat. Blair’s eyes sharpen and her body coils slowly—registering the danger gathering in the room.
“You’re right. You were stupid when you kissed me that day,” I growl between clenched teeth.
I try to grab a hold of my self control but the reins slip through my fingers.
The words that fall from my lips next are from the darkest parts of me.
“Every. Fucking. Day. That’s how often I’ve thought about that stupid kiss and how delicious you tasted,” I growl between clenched teeth.
“Then those thoughts shifted and I started to wonder how fucking good it would feel to have those same lips wrapped tight around my cock. I have faced countless enemies, Blair, but you? You were the one to destroy me. Your lips were the weapon needed to shatter my reality and render me absolutely feral.”
Blair’s eyes go wide as those very lips part in surprise. I chuckle darkly at the shock that ripples across her face.
“Do you know how dangerous I’ve become since then?” I ask.
No, I don’t ask her this—the devil in me does. He’s been given a voice and he’s going to use it. I can’t stop the words spilling from my lips no matter how hard I try.
“No, you wouldn’t know, would you? You’ve been off, living your little life while I’ve been here—attempting to wrangle some type of hold over the demon you created.
Be glad that I have a semblance of control because this fucked up part of me wants to pin you to this floor, breed your fucking pussy, and then fill your ass and mouth with so much cum you leak for days.
I want to smell me seeping through your fucking pores, Blair.
Even then, it wouldn’t be enough. Every hour, I imagine, I’d have to fill you with my cum just to be able to have a sane thought or two that would follow the orgasm. ”
I smile coldly as Blair gapes at me.
“That’s what your stupid kiss did to me, Blair,” I tell her with a tired sigh.
“With you here, I’ll be holding on to sanity by a thread.
” I shake my head with another cold laugh.
“So yeah, I understand the difficulty you’re talking about.
It brings me at least a little peace knowing I’m not the only one suffering. ”
We stare at each other for a long time.
In that stretch of silence, I can feel the devil in me retreating—pleased to have spoken its desire out loud.
In it’s absence, shame slices through me.
What am I doing? The further the darkness sinks, the more control over myself I manage to acquire.
After a shaky inhale, then an even shakier exhale, I manage to peel my fingers away from Blair’s neck.
I jerk my head away, unable to continue to stare into her eyes still wide with alarm.
I’ve scared her.
Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe this way, Blair will steer clear of me while she’s here. It would be in her best interest if she did. I can be here, to protect her but she would have the others to connect with. If the two of us grew any closer, who knows what I would or wouldn’t do.
“Ledger…”
Blair sucks in a deep breath. I look back at her to find all traces of shock are gone. In its stead, is a twinkle of… Excitement? No, that can’t be right. I must be reading her wrong. I’ve nearly convinced myself of this when she speaks.
“Why hold back? I want you, too.”
I close my eyes and push the words away before they can sink beneath my skin.
“No,” I whisper, stepping back—away from her. When I open my eyes, I pin her with a steely glare. “I won’t be touching you. Ever.”
Blair has the nerve to pout. Her bottom lip juts out and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Why not? You just said—”
“Just because that’s what I want, doesn’t mean I have any intention of acting upon it,” I interrupt, my words sharp and cold.
Blair opens her mouth but I hold up a hand.
“I respect Anchor too much to ruin his daughter and I care too much for you to debase you in such a manner. I can’t be as impulsive and stupid as you were, Blair. ”
She flinches at my words. Good, she needs to hear this. I need to hear this. Saying these words out loud are important for the both of us. Hiding my desire from Blair would be impossible, but explaining why it can’t happen might make this situation more bearable between us.
Softening my words, I add, “While I won’t take liberties with you, taking care of you in every other way is the next best thing. So, like I said. Whatever you want, whatever you need, let me know and I’ll make sure you have it. Okay?”
The pout disappears slowly, but her arms remain crossed as she stares at me, a challenge lighting those dark eyes.
“Fine.”
I don’t like the small smirk pulling up one side of her mouth. She thinks this is a game, that I’m exaggerating the depravity I hold back. I’m not. And I definitely don’t want either of us to find out what it will take for her to drag it out of me.
I scowl. “Cut it out, Blair. I can tell you’re up to something.”
“Nope,” she says in a tone that says otherwise. “I’m not.”
“I’m serious, I don’t have any plans on fucking touching you. Not now, not ever. All I want is to know that you’re safe and sound,” I tell her.
She nods, placatingly. “Alright, Ledger.”
Then, Blair gives me a wink. Anger flares in my chest as the darker side of me rattles its cage. It likes this flirty, nonchalant Blair. That’s really fucking bad.
Before I can scold her for being reckless, the basement door opens, startling us both.
“All good down there?” Wes calls.
Perfect timing.
His voice is like a breeze of fresh air that drifts down to where the two of us are, clearing the tension between us. Blair relaxes, and I sigh in relief.
“Yeah,” I call back up as Blair slides off the desk. “We’re good. Just finishing up.”
I catch Blair’s arm as she moves to walk past me. With one last warning, I tell her, “If you need anything, let me know. Otherwise, befriend the others and try not to do anything stupid.”