Chapter 17
Blair
Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
The word is stuck on repeat in my head as I shove furniture and forgotten, half-empty cardboard boxes of junk around the room that will soon be a nurse’s station.
Ledger broached the idea this morning over breakfast. He looked me right in the eye and asked if I’d be the on-site nurse for Gnarly Pines.
It was as if he hadn’t witnessed me grinding against his friend last night.
I’m not upset that he caught us—in fact, it was hot seeing him standing there with his own erection straining against the front of his jeans.
There was a hint of that hunger he’d talked about in his eyes.
If I’d been with some random guy I’d met on the street, I would’ve pushed the moment further.
Watching Ledger hold on to his control had been exhilarating.
I wanted to push, and push until he finally snapped.
Maybe then I’d get what I always dreamt about.
But Wes isn’t a random person.
Wes is a haven I didn’t know existed. He has this innate ability to sense what someone needs without having to ask.
It’s a superpower that I didn’t know I would admire so much.
As someone who’s used to doing things on her own, submitting to a competent man is as wonderful as the orgasm that had rushed through my body.
I ate Wes’s affection up—gobbled it down like a starving woman.
I don’t want to use him to taunt Ledger. What I want is more of last night.
But is it wise to pursue something with Wes when I still yearn for Ledger?
“It makes you a needy bitch,” I mutter under my breath.
This is probably what a dog in heat feels like.
Needy, selfish, and horny as hell. Honestly, I blame the environment.
Who wouldn’t be panting and fantasizing about the guys around here?
I’m surrounded by hot, sweaty men who smell of freshly chopped wood and wear tight white shirts under plaid flannel jackets.
It’s not just Wes and Ledger I’m feeling things for.
Every night Rhett and Santi cut wood for the firepit or for the woodburning stove that keeps the cabin warm. Then, after an hour of wood chopping, Santi has the nerve to look at me while he glistens with sweat and smile.
My panties practically disintegrate every time this happens.
I’m going through a lot of panties.
Santi’s smile is more dangerous than the gun I keep holstered on my hip or the axe he wields.
Ok, maybe it’s not just his sexy, dimpled smile that has me swooning around Santi. I’ve never been able to be myself around anyone. No one has ever known Blair, only CeCe. But that’s changed. Santi embraces the fact that I have rough edges and god does that feel good to be liked for who I am.
Maybe I’m broken in some way. The attraction between the men I’m sharing a cabin with has to be a byproduct of feeling helpless when it comes to my situation.
My dad’s in the wind, running from trouble that’s no doubt on his heels, and the life I worked so hard to build has gone down the drain all in the blink of an eye.
My hormones must’ve decided that lusting after men is easier than dwelling in despair.
Honestly, thank god for Rhett. He may be hot as hell with that bad boy look he’s sporting, but his attitude is so repulsive that he might as well have eighteen eyes growing out of his face. Whenever he opens his mouth, he manages to douse any type of desire I’m feeling.
“Yeah, thank god for Rhett,” I grumble sarcastically under my breath. “My constant pain in the ass.”
I say that, but his reminder that I’m dangerous to everyone here still rings in my ears. Every time I think about it, fear grips my heart. He’s not wrong to be wary of my presence. I could get everyone here killed.
“You’re going to screw all of this up,” I warn myself as I shove my shoulder into the side of the shelving unit.
The scream of the metal against the cement floor as the shelving unit moves is worse than nails on a chalkboard. I grit my teeth and grimace, continuing to push despite the sound, determined to get this out of the way.
“Hey! Oh, wait. Here, let me help you with that.”
I jump at the sound of Santi’s voice as he appears beside me.
I don’t get a chance to decline his offer before he walks to the other side and pulls. With a sigh, I push and together we get the shelving against the wall. I sag against the piece of furniture and sigh loudly in relief.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
“Yeah, no problem,” he replies as he wipes his hands on his pants to get the dust off them.
“You know you could’ve just asked for help from one of the guys out there.
” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the door, indicating the guys mulling around in Building D.
“They all probably would’ve jumped at the chance to help you move some of this stuff.
Or you could’ve just waited for the rest of us to get off work and we would’ve come to help. ”
Asking for help… I grimace. It’s like the conversation I had with Wes last night. He wants me to lean on him, but I was telling the truth. I’m not quite sure how.
“I guess I’m just used to doing things on my own,” I admit with a shrug.
“Well, you’re not alone anymore,” Santi says cheerfully as he looks around at the progress I’ve made. “Shoot, with a few more hours in here tomorrow, and an additional pair of hands, this storage closet will have a whole new look.”
The space is too big to be considered a closet, despite the others calling it such. It's more like a gloomy conference room. Once I get a bed in here, a medical cabinet, and possibly a sink, it’ll make for a decent nurse’s station.
“Tomorrow?” I repeat, confused. “I can just get it done now. What time is it?”
“It’s a little past four.”
Technically, it’s not the end of the day just yet. Santi gets off work before everyone else given that The Shop closes earlier than the rest of Gnarly Pines.
He raises a brow and asks, “Want to get out of here for a few hours? I can show you downtown Caddawalk and then we can grab a bite to eat.”
Leave Gnarly Pines and the shitstorm I’ve stirred up?
I grin. “Hell yes. Get me out of here, Santi.”
Santi returns the grin with one of his own, causing his dimples to pop out.
Damn it, there goes another pair of panties.
To my surprise, he grabs my face with both hands and leans down real close. I suck in an uneasy, but excited breath, and let it out as a shaky giggle when he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Then it's a date.”
A shower has done wonders for my mood. Clean clothes have helped too.
I rake my fingers through my hair to keep it from falling into my face and when that doesn’t work, I flip it to the side and tuck it behind my ear.
When I feel presentable, I slip out of my room and hurry down the hall.
I glance toward Rhett’s door but I know he’s not off work yet.
I wonder what he’ll think of me and Santi going out.
Rather than dwell on that thought, I skip down the stairs and head for the kitchen where Santi is undoubtedly waiting, probably with his head in the refrigerator. As I approach, I realize he’s not alone.
“—can’t do anything foolish. Do you understand, Santi?”
My footsteps slow as I realize it’s Ledger’s voice I hear.
“Relax, Ledger. We’ll be fine. Like I said, there’s been nothing out of the ordinary going on lately, so I think it’s safe to assume whoever was right on Blair’s heels has moved through the area.
In any case, it’s not like you can just never let her leave.
She’s safe going out for the night with me. We’re just headed into town.”
Ledger scoffs. “Assuming anything about a contract killer is what will get you killed.”
“Alright, calm down, boss man.” I smile at Santi’s flippant tone. I’m sure that’s going over really well with Ledger. “Like I said, my eyes will be peeled the entire time.”
“You still have the gun I gave you?” Ledger asks. I can’t tell by his tone if he believes Santi or not.
“Yup, and, get this—” Santi snickers and I know he’s about to say something that will irritate Ledger. “—I got a hitwoman with me in case things go sideways and I need some back up.”
There's a heavy sigh of exasperation that comes from my godfather.
“Santi…”
“Ledger, chill. I’m pretty sure Blair can handle herself.”
“Yeah, you and Rhett found that out the hard way, didn’t you?"
There’s a pause, and I freeze.
“Ah…”
“No need to play dumb. I know what happened a few nights ago—I saw it all play out on the trail cameras.” Ledger’s voice drops lower, almost into a growl.
“Watching her pull her punches and go easy on you was hilarious. But you know what’s not funny?
The fact she still walked away with a bruise on her face. ”
Santi snorts. “That was just a misunderstanding. But—”
“If she comes back with any type of injury tonight, whether it’s a bruise, limp, or missing a strand of her fucking hair, I’ll make sure you never see the light of day. Got it, Santi?”
I scowl at the threat and decide I’ve heard enough. Storming forward, I enter the kitchen just as Ledger steps back, away from a surprised looking Santi.
“Cut it out, Ledger.” I glare at him. “You don’t need to scold Santi like a child.”
Ledger, clearly unperturbed that I’d overheard, smirks as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Then he better stop acting like one.”
“Why? So I can act like an old man like you?” Santi replies, his teasing genuine. “Naw, I’m good.”
“If I get hurt, that’s on me, not Santi. And…” I give Ledger a challenging smile. “Maybe I like things a little rough. If Santi brings me back here with a limp maybe it’s because we got carried away in the best possible way.”
The words get the reaction I’m looking for. Ledger’s eyes light with fire as the rest of him goes eerily still.
Santi laughs, as he steps towards me. “Oh, we’re definitely going to have fun tonight. Come on, let the old man stew while he wonders what we’re doing. Oh, by the way, he gave me his credit card so let’s try to max it out, shall we?”
With a grin just for him, I say, “Let’s go.”