Chapter 5
Kenzie
Rain continued to pelt the window in the bathroom, although the sheer volume of water had lessened. By the time I’d finished soaking in the tub, even the faint rumbles of thunder had dissipated, leaving an unnerving silence except when I shifted in the now cooling water.
“Axe.”
I whispered the name as if doing so would help ease the shock of seeing him again.
And the twinge of pain. Yes, every muscle in my body ached, the few scrapes and cuts stinging even after being soaked in the water, but the real ache, the one that was a heavy weight pounding on my chest was all about seeing him again.
Stephen ‘Axe’ Beckett was my older brother’s best friend, a man who’d adored antagonizing me at every turn.
I’d never allowed him to see how much of a crush I had on him until one fateful day when I’d believed I had nothing to lose.
When he’d turned me down, reminding me I was a little girl and that he was a man, I’d refused to allow him to see how much he’d hurt me.
Then he’d purposely walked over to a girl, who’d hung all over him. And I’d been forced to watch them kiss.
On that day, I’d made a promise to myself I’d never think about him again.
I’d be damned if I’d break an oath that had stood for several years.
Sure, very childish. We were two different people, but the crushing blow was difficult for any teenage girl.
Especially since I’d never been good enough for my father.
Ugh, why was I reminiscing about the past? Because I was in Axe’s bathtub after he’d saved my life. I sloshed the water, wishing I could stay in the tub forever. His eyes were just as mesmerizing, his quirky smile even more attractive. But his body was… Wow. Just wow.
He was also even more dominating in behavior than I’d remembered. He’d filled out, every muscle rock hard. Still handsome, the years since I’d seen him adding to his sensual appeal, but where his eyes had once held mischief, they now held sadness.
Maybe he was the one with the weight of the world on him.
I could remember as if it were yesterday being at the Professional Bull Riding finals held in Fort Worth, Texas the summer before I’d headed off to college.
And before the horrible incident. My father had taken me to the glamorous event, namely because he had had an amateur rider make the finals and I’d begged him to let me go.
It had come down to the wire with my father’s sponsored rider and Axe.
Then Axe had done the unthinkable and had stayed on the bucking mean-as-sin bull for an extra two-point-five seconds. Unheard of.
My father had lost a boatload of money, his rider also losing two major sponsorships.
My father had placed the blame on Axe and his trainer, fuming and trying to have Axe’s championship placement pulled. As if the man could cheat while riding a nasty bull.
The stupid situation had also put a rift in my brother’s and Axe’s friendship, my father trying to forbid Wade from seeing him. In certain groups, Axe had been labeled the bad guy. That’s how much control my father had over many people in town.
Evidently from what Axe had just said about my brother, their friendship hadn’t recovered.
Sighing, I lifted the glass, pulling the rim to my lips. The whiskey was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves and for warmth. So what if the very man I’d fantasized over as a teenager had seen me naked? I was much older, no longer the pigtail-wearing girl who’d adored the bad boy.
The memories of my brother Wade with Stephen were both unsettling and hysterical. Since they were years older, they’d thought I was a pain in the ass while they’d fashioned themselves to be big and bad, the kind of guys women swooned over.
They’d acted like they’d owned Missoula, constantly causing trouble while somehow managing to steal hearts. I’d been nothing more than Wade’s little sister, a nuisance.
How many times had I tried to forget about him and he’d interfered, making my life miserable? I’d been the ugly duckling, the girl no one wanted to ask out. The couple of times one of the guys in school had bothered, it had been a disaster.
When I’d been dumped just before the prom while standing outside the school, I’d been too humiliated to call anyone, deciding to walk home by myself. And he’d shown up, refusing to leave me alone to wallow in my self-pity. I’d told him I’d hated him then.
I’d meant it too. I’d found ways to stay away from him.
Until my eighteenth birthday, a day I would never forget.
Because I’d made a fool of myself. I pressed my fingers against my lips. No longer parched, I licked the bottom one as I’d done after I’d confronted him, begging to know why he’d never asked me out.
As usual, we’d argued, which we’d gotten damn good at. Only instead of walking away as he usually did, he pinned me against a tree.
And he’d kissed me.
Not just any kiss, but the kind that had kept butterflies fluttering in my stomach for days, the sense of floating on cloud nine staying with me long after he’d finally disappeared.
I’d been young and stupid, thinking the kiss meant something when it was nothing more than a tool to shut me the hell up.
What I’d hated more than letting my guard fall was that I’d kept comparing other men to Stephen Beckett over the years. Every single one. Who was silly enough to do that? This girl.
I took the last sip of my drink, closing my eyes as I remembered what he’d looked like on that sunny afternoon.
All swagger and vigor, a smile that could light up any room.
Eyes the color of Egyptian glass, so blue they always reminded me of sapphires.
He’d known what I’d thought about him yet he hadn’t cared.
At least I’d learned how traitorous men could be, promising myself that I’d never fall for bullshit.
Maybe that’s why I hadn’t shed a single tear after breaking up with David. I’d mourned the loss of the view out his bay window over the man himself.
What did that say about me?
I put the glass on the tub where Axe had placed it, finally finding courage or maybe simply becoming resigned that I’d need to face him.
Why he’d brought me here instead of my parents’ house was a question I needed to ask.
Not that I remembered doing much talking.
There were fleeting images of him saving me. Putting me inside a vehicle. A drive.
That’s all I really remembered, which both shocked and bothered me.
There were fluffy towels on the towel rack and a stack of clothes on the counter. That’s when I noticed my purse. He’d managed to save the bag I’d snagged from the truck, although it was waterlogged. At least it was on a towel. I wrapped the other around me, moving in front of the mirror.
There was no real steam, just a light mist. When I stared at my reflection for a few seconds, the person staring back at me wasn’t the accomplished attorney who’d taken the bull by the horns, making something of herself and her life.
Instead, with my stringy hair and smudged makeup, I appeared like the teenager, love-struck and planning her future with a man who’d wanted nothing to do with her.
I laughed, the sound hollow. Perhaps this was the kick in the pants I needed. Didn’t they say lumps came in threes? From here, my life would be looking up. Whatever my father wanted, I planned on saying no. There was no point in dredging up more of the past.
The clothes he’d selected were plain but comfortable, sweatpants with legs dragging the floor and a tee shirt I could use as a dress. At least they were warm and dry.
The scent of him filtered into my nose and I pulled the sleeve to my face. The manly fragrance was similar to what I’d remembered, a hint of citrus and spices, woodsy in a way that made me think of deep within the forest. And… smoke. Really?
Why did I allow my imagination to get the better of me, images of us enjoying wine in front of a roaring fire dragging me straight into a personal kind of hell?
I tried to laugh it off. While I was grateful for what he’d done, I’d ask if he could take me home and I’d figure out what to do about getting my Bertha back. Wherever she’d ended up. Ugh. My poor truck. Buying a new one would break the bank.
After searching the cabinets for a hair dryer, I finally gave up. My natural curls would take over. What the hell? I wasn’t hoping for a fashion show.
But I did have makeup in my purse.
Silly ole me dug through it for my makeup bag, forced to hold the thin canvas over the sink so it could drain. Maybe later. There would be no looking my best in front of him.
Thankfully, I did find a brush. I fought with the tangles and by the time I finished, I’d taken out my frustrations for finding myself in this position by ripping out a handful of hair.
Hopefully, the man had a phone because I knew my father would be off the rails by now in figuring out where I’d disappeared to.
When I was basically presentable, I grabbed the glass and stood in front of the door for at least two minutes before placing my hand on the knob.
Why was I so anxiety ridden around Axe? It wasn’t like we’d been close. The kiss was really nothing. It certainly shouldn’t matter now. We were all grown up. As I walked down the hallway, I was allowed a better understanding of the man.
He was a neat freak, something I wouldn’t have figured. His bedroom was just so, including being dusted. When I found his office, I couldn’t help myself, glancing over my shoulder before I walked in.
With the day being cloudy, I turned on a lamp on his desk, noticing he had pictures in a couple of locations. Maybe this was snooping, but I had no idea if he was married and had kids. I’d never once asked Wade and he’d never volunteered the information.
The photographs were of family, but mostly Axe’s brothers and sister. And almost all from years before.