Chapter 22 #2
Maybe I just needed to hold onto the night we’d shared for a little longer. Including his scent, which had painted my skin. The musky fragrance still had a little smoke from the fire. Or maybe I was imagining it. I pulled my arm under my nose, hating the ache in my stomach.
How had things had gotten so out of hand?
After this morning, I had no doubt Axe would never talk to me again. Why should he?
Glancing at the sugars, I laid them out, counting them. Exactly the number of sugars needed. Obviously, I’d reached livid status since I ripped open all eight at the same time, my hand shaking as I poured out the granules.
With both coffees in one hand, I stood by the door for a few seconds before opening it.
Axe didn’t bother turning around, but every muscle stiffened. I didn’t look in his direction as I handed him the coffee, uncertain if he would accept it.
When he did, he was very careful to avoid touching me. But I did catch out of the corner of my eye that he studied me briefly.
I kept my distance, also leaning over the railing. With the angle of the beautiful sun, the glow on the tips of the peaks of the mountains was incredible, breathtaking in a way that could only be described as majestic.
The coffee wasn’t that bad. Or maybe I just needed caffeine. He stared at his before taking a sip.
The tension between us was horrible, the emotional distance between us creating a tremendous void.
“I can’t ride again, Kenzie,” he said quietly almost five minutes later.
“I get it. The injury. Plus, you’d need practice. I’d never ask you to even consider.”
He laughed. “It’s not that. In truth, I wasn’t hurt that badly. I just used it as an excuse. At least for the most part.”
“What does that mean?” I was careful in glancing at him, worried that he’d be furious with me for interfering again.
The way he was fiddling with the coffee cup highlighted his extreme angst. “I lost my nerve that day. Yeah, I didn’t have my mind on the competition because of a lot of things, including my mother’s illness, but there was more to it than that.
The shit started before we learned about her diagnosis.
I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t do it any longer.
I had a bull almost trample me to death in practice, for fuck’s sake.
But my coach pushed me. He said I needed to get right back up on that damn bull. ”
“I’m so sorry to hear that. I had no idea.”
“You were gone. You had a life. I just… Both my brothers were already wildland firefighters. I was already talked about on the circuit like I was a has-been. It fucks with your head. I was twenty-five years old and there were kids as young as sixteen coming close to beating my ass. I was the old guy on the circuit.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yeah, well, according to an article it was. Being a championship bull rider was all I’d ever wanted to do, but even my father was pushing me to think about another career at that point. It was just one big snowball at the time. I lost everything in a short period of time. I was a nobody.”
Turning toward him, I placed my hand on his arm, half expecting him to bristle. Thankfully, he didn’t. “You were always a somebody to me. That’s why I left.”
“You left because you had a scholarship.”
“That was one reason, but if you would have asked me to stay, I would have.”
“I didn’t want to ruin your life. Plus, Wade was my friend.”
“He still is.”
“Nah. He truly believes I stole Mandy from him.” He shook his head. “I never wanted Mandy.”
“I thought you dated her.”
“I said I went on two dates, although I assure you it was platonic.”
“Why?”
He took a swig of his coffee before finally looking me in the eye. “Because she was still with Wade in her mind. She didn’t know what she wanted although I knew what wasn’t good for her.”
“You never touched her.”
“No.”
“Because of my brother.”
“Yeah, that’s part of it. There is such a thing as honor amongst men. Wade was angry when he found out and because I hadn’t confessed first. He saw us together on the night I was planning on breaking it off.”
“At Ziggy’s.”
He half laughed. “News travels fast.”
“Char told me. You said there were two reasons.”
There was a hitch in his breathing and a slight smile crossing his face. “Also because she was your friend. Maybe she still is.”
“How did you remember that?” I was shocked.
“Ah, come on. I remember everything about you. The way your laugh sounded, especially from across the room. The way you purposely swished your hips when you were around me while doing your best to ignore my very presence. The way you took charge of every situation whether with your friends or in class. You did terrify the boys. Did you know that?”
Exhaling, I tried to remember my teenage years. “I wasn’t trying to. I was the ugly duckling, at least according to my father.”
“Your father is an idiot,” he said, grinning. “You were the mistress of intimidation. I almost beat the crap out of a guy I overheard talking about you in the locker room. But with you being Wade’s sister, that made it easier to keep their hands off you.”
The reminder that he’d been the reason my prom date had stood me up prompted me to slug him in the stomach.
“Ouch!”
“You deserved that for meddling into my life.”
“And you know what, Palomino Girl? I’d do it again.” He shifted toward me, inching closer.
The intense heat from his body was everything I craved and also exactly what worried me. “I’m so sorry my father put you on the spot. I’ll talk to him. If he truly wants my involvement, then he’s going to do it my way.”
After taking a deep breath, he nodded, had another gulp of coffee then placed the cheap cup on the cracked concrete.
I could tell there was so much on his mind by the way he was staring at the mountains.
“I wish I could help you, but I can’t. Dredging up old memories isn’t going to do my mental health any good.
That much I already figured out. I’ll give you some pointers, but that’s all I can do. ”
Sighing, I stared at the bitter liquid in the cup, my stomach churning from the acid.
The anger I’d felt earlier remained, burning to the point I wasn’t certain how I could handle my father.
Bending over, I placed my cup near his. This was one of those moments where there was nothing truly appropriate to say.
Every muscle in his body remained tense, the sneer on his face exactly what I remembered about him.
No matter how hard he tried to hide his decency behind his angry sneers, I knew all about the marshmallow personality he hid inside.
The truth was the more I thought about the charity idea, the more I liked it.
Enough so that if my father listened to me, I would consider going through with being his attorney.
But only if he promised to adhere to every recommendation. But for there to be any kind of success, I would need a partner.
A partner in crime.
I offered him my sweetest smile, taking my time to place just the fingertips of one hand against his naked chest. Instantly, they were seared from excessive heat. My mouth watered and seriously inappropriate thoughts flowed through my mind, having a direct effect on my throbbing pussy.
“Why do I have a feeling you have something up your sleeve?” he asked, a single eyebrow arched.
“Me? How could you think that?”
“Because I know you too well.” He tweaked my nose and I sensed how hard he was trying not to take out his anger on me.
“Here’s the truth. I could still use your help with the city council. I mean, you know exactly how to talk their talk and walk their walk.”
“Hell, no.”
“Think about the rescue animals. All the lives you can save. What you can do for the families who lost everything in a fire. Can you imagine how wonderful it will be for dozens of animals to finally find their forever homes? Plus think of your old firefighting team.”
He narrowed his eyes while I gave him a practiced sweet look. Not that I was good at it. I’d certainly never used it in court.
“That’s not fair. You have no clue if that will even fly or if your father will allow you to handle the rodeo the way you want.”
“Then he won’t receive even a minute of my help and I’ll leave town. Period.”
“God, woman, I ain’t no politician.” He used a cute Western twang, as if that would persuade me into changing my mind.
As I crawled my fingers down toward his chiseled abdomen, he emitted a single growl. Low and husky, the sound was meant as a deterrent. Instead, the deliciousness spurred me on. When I reached the waistband of his jeans, he finally grabbed my fingers, pulling them to his lips.
“I don’t know how I can help you.”
The way he brushed his lips across my knuckles nipped at my ability to breathe. I could so easily get lost in the man and we both knew that couldn’t happen. “Do you trust me?”
He laughed. “Should I dare trust a Sterling?”
I slipped the fingers of my other hand to the thick bulge between his legs, stroking his already thick, hard cock. “I don’t know. Should you?”
“You are one bad girl.”
“I am and don’t you forget it.”
He closed his eyes, his entire mouth twisting as I tormented him the way I knew he preferred. “But I’m not riding. You need to make that very clear to your father. If you don’t, I will and he won’t like it when I do.”
“Not unless you want to hang out on a bull for the cameras.”
To torment me, he pulled my index finger into his mouth, sucking for a few seconds while offering a look that screamed of dominance.
“Okay, okay. Just kidding. But photo ops with a few people for charity purposes?”
When he pulled my finger from his lips, he made a loud popping noise on purpose. “Fine. I can do that.”
“And you’ll try and use that suave thing you have going on to convince a few of your rodeo buddies to come play with us.” I couldn’t help crawling my fingers down his chest, shuddering as I did.
“No one is going to play with us, Palomino Girl. Not a chance in hell. What kind of man do you think I am?”
“You know what I mean. I mean if you won’t, I’ll pay a couple of them a visit. Of course I’ll need to wear a tiny little skirt when doing so.” When I dared try to look away, he gripped my chin with lightning speed, forcing me to look into his eyes.
“Not a chance, lady. You’ all mine. I’ll make a few phone calls, but I am not promising anything. No matter how much you pout.”
“Who’s pouting?”
“Very funny. You are,” he growled while dragging the tip of his index finger across the seam of my mouth.
“You’ll have the time?”
“I never said I was back on the roster. I’m still on an extended leave.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I’m beginning to think the captain was right. I am an angry man. Which is why I need to work off some aggression.”
“You do, huh?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“A deal’s a deal.”
“I tell you what. If you’re a very, very good girl and do exactly what I say, I’ll consider your requests.”
“And what would that be exactly?”
I’d always been amazed how he could alter his facial expressions on a whim, going from the brooding man to the happy-go-lucky cowboy in a matter of seconds. “I guess I need to show you.”
As I dropped my gaze to where my hand was squeezing his cock, I sighed heavily. “I guess you do.”
With a sly grin on his face, he wrapped his arms low around my waist, yanking me off my feet. “Be careful what you ask for.”
“So you’re going to honor your deal, so I don’t need to file an injunction later in court this morning.”
“Like I told you before. Only if you do exactly as I say.”
As he carried me into the motel room, kicking the door shut with his foot, his grin seemed a permanent aspect of his features.
I only hoped my father didn’t do something else to destroy our tenuous relationship.