Chapter 32 #2
No matter the circumstances.
No matter how cruel the world became around her.
And now...
For some reason...
She was trying to extinguish that part of herself.
She kept turning away from every chance at happiness.
Maybe temporary.
Maybe fleeting.
But real.
A sad smile touched my lips.
I'd always been brave.
I'd always believed in the best until the very end.
So was I really going to change everything—
My beliefs.
My habits.
My very nature—
Because of one idiot who had broken my heart?
Hell no.
Airis had mentioned the pull between us before.
I'd never felt anything like it with anyone else.
So why not let myself find out where it led?
Yes.
Falling for my mentor was probably the worst idea in the universe.
But what if allowing myself to want him finally made everything easier?
What if I finally stopped drowning in assumptions...
Stopped hiding behind fear?
Wouldn't even that possibility...
Be worth taking the risk?
Dwayne always said people should live in the moment.
Maybe that was why embracing new experiences had always come so naturally to him.
For moments exactly like this.
Brief—
yet far too precious to refuse.
I let out a slow breath.
Then I turned off the faucet and walked back into the room.
I was fully prepared to make a complete fool of myself.
But I was going to do what something deep inside me wanted.
Even if it ended with my heart begging to break.
The moment I stepped out of the bathroom, I found Airis standing there.
Guarding the doorway.
Literally.
Tense.
Slightly irritated.
And at the same time...
Confused.
His gaze swept carefully over me.
It honestly felt as though the man standing before me wasn't the same one who'd been lying on that bed only minutes earlier.
How could one person have so many different versions of himself?
"What's going on?"
He didn't wait for an answer.
I saw him move toward me almost instinctively, as though something inside him had reacted before he even realized it.
And I refused to step back.
Physically—
or emotionally.
"I agree," I blurted out in a single breath.
Airis froze.
Completely confused.
“With what?” One brow lifted slowly.
“At my adoptive parents' house, you said you were physically attracted to me...” I began, only to be cut off by the icy edge of his voice.
“I remember every word I said in that house.”
His gaze darkened instantly.
And with eyes that color...
Darkness somehow looked even more dangerous.
“And I regret saying it that way.
I chose the wrong words.”
“I don't care whether you chose the wrong words or not.” My voice sharpened. “You said what you felt. And now I'm telling you what I've decided.”
“I'm not touching you until I know I can have more than just your body.”
I froze.
Frowning.
“Then what else do you want?”
God.
Sometimes I understood him far too little.
Far too often.
He didn't answer immediately.
It looked as though something inside him was holding him back.
Forcing him to stay silent.
Forcing him to keep every wall standing.
That war inside him felt painfully familiar.
We were disastrously different...
Yet somehow imprisoned by the same fear.
Damn it.
“Everything,” he finally said.
Within seconds, my heart abandoned all reason, imagining far too much.
My mind, however, still waited for him to finish.
“Don't speak in riddles.
I hate them.”
He took one step toward me.
Then another.
And another.
Until only a breath remained between us.
Impossibly close.
Yet somehow...
Still not close enough.
“I want all of you,” he said quietly.
“Your thoughts.
Your body.
Your emotions.
Your fears.
Your doubts.
Your heart.
Your soul.”
“Isn't that asking a little too much?” I whispered, barely able to breathe through the pressure tightening around my chest. “Why would you even want all of that from me?”
“Then why did you kiss me?” he asked without hesitation.
“Did you only want my body?”
His eyes never left mine.
“Can you honestly tell me that's all you wanted?”
I swallowed hard.
“I wasn’t thinking about anything more,” I admitted quietly. “Because from the very beginning, you made it pretty clear what your interest in me was.”
I wanted to wound him.
Wanted explanations.
Something concrete.
“A few seconds ago, you got the real answer.” Airis’s voice dropped lower.
I stared at him, unable to believe this conversation was actually happening between us.
None of this felt real anymore.
Another fantasy my mind had invented.
“You said love wasn’t for you,” I whispered. “You said that if you were ever with someone, they’d have to embody strength.”
He stayed silent.
As though I was speaking both the questions and the answers for him.
“Am I really the only one being pulled toward you like some damn magnet?” I asked quietly.
God.
It felt like every ounce of my boldness had vanished into another universe.
“How much more proof do you need?” he asked softly.
One small step closer.
He didn’t rush to continue.
Didn’t rush to touch me.
He waited.
Observed.
Calculated.
And this time, I refused to surrender first.
“I kissed you first,” I said, never taking my eyes off him. “You only responded.”
He stayed silent.
Meanwhile, I was burning alive from the inside out.
“Fine. If you’re not willing to take a step toward me, then I’ll choose someone who will.”
I was ready to walk past him toward the bed.
One step.
And suddenly, my back hit the cold wall.
Every inch of me met the burning heat of Airis’s body.
He kissed me like he’d been starving for it.
His hands moved across my body, leaving fire in their wake.
And I gave in completely.
To him.
I felt the relieved breath leave his lips.
Felt the almost joyful rhythm of his heartbeat.
My palms slid over his toned chest.
Lower.
Across his stomach.
Then lower still—
until Airis caught my wrists gently but firmly.
He pulled away from my lips, though he made no move to step back.
“Like I said,” he whispered roughly, “you don’t get pieces of me, Fireling. You either get all of me—or none of me.”
He kept whispering.
And somehow, that whisper was unbearably intoxicating.
It made me want to hear him whisper my name next.
“And there’s no fucking way I’m letting anyone else have you.”
“And since when did you become possessive, Kairos?”
“Maybe instead of asking pointless questions, you should think about my offer.”
“What offer?” I asked quietly. “For once, just tell me clearly what you want from me.”
Clearly.
Like a normal person for once.
But Airis stayed silent.