Chapter Twenty-Eight
Fourteen years ago…
To my greatest love, my best friend, and the keeper of my dreams,
When I was little, you were the mysterious boy next door. A walking talking miracle that was the survivor, the protector, and always my safety blanket. When I was sad you made me happy. When I cried you held me. When I was scared you kept me safe. I never knew a day would come that a problem would be so big that even you couldn’t fix it.
I’ve realized in the last year and a half that I’m not the girl we thought I was. I always dreamed we would grow up, go to college, get married, and have our own family. I know you have those same dreams. You held on to our dreams and believed in them enough to let them motivate you to work harder and do better. I guess I’ve never been as strong as you or as faithful to my dreams.
I love you, Mikey, but I don’t think I love you enough. Not the way you deserve. I don’t even love myself the way I deserve. I have a story to tell, and it will not be a story that will bring you comfort. No matter how many prayers you could have said at night, you could not have saved us.
A little over a year ago, I was invited to a party. I was so excited because a few of the boys at school were being friendly and not treating me like trash. I thought maybe people were seeing me for the girl I thought I was, and not the family I come from. I didn’t tell you I was going to this party because I knew you wouldn’t approve. The boys picked me up at my house, and I wasn’t in their car long before I realized it wasn’t a party for the kids at school. I am not going to go into detail, just tell you what you need to know.
I was made fun of the boys drank and laughed at me. Then they smoked pot, which I wasn’t scared of that, but I was scared when I saw cocaine. More people I didn’t know arrived, some grown men, and some were young men. Then came my brothers. Mikey, they didn’t protect me. They watched as one boy put the powder in my mouth as the other held me down. Soon after that they tore my clothes off me. They all had their turn with me. I have no idea how many of them raped me because I lost consciousness here and there. To end the night, they took photos of me laying naked, defeated, and dying inside. Threatening to show people the photo if I ever told anyone. The shame in itself was enough to turn me inside myself and never tell a soul. The older men watched and laughed, but not one tried to stop those boys.
Then Will happened. He overheard a few of the boys at school talking, then he approached me. He didn’t know about my brothers, he only knew about the party that night. He took me to a clinic to be tested for disease and wanted to help me. My tests came back normal, and Will wanted to help me find a safe place for me to live away from my family. He thought his dad would help, but when Will took me to meet his parents, I immediately recognized his dad as one of the men that watched and did nothing to help me that night.
I didn’t tell Will, just suffered through that visit, then later that night my brothers tied me up, threw me into a car and took me to see Will’s father. He drugged me, raped me, then sent me home with my brothers. He threatened you and Kayla if I ever told anyone. He was a very dangerous man, and he hid it well from his son. For months my brothers took me from my sleep and Will’s father supported their drug habits in exchange for my body.
It was weeks later when I hitched a ride to the clinic Will first took me to, and I learned this thing was growing inside me, and had been for several months. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know, Mike, otherwise I would have went sooner and had an abortion. My stomach was flat, I wasn’t sick, and I could swear I had a few periods. I was walking in a tunnel of denial for months and I paid no attention to things that needed my attention. Not even my body. It was so hard to look at you every day, so I found comfort in Will.
I ignored the thing growing inside me. I didn’t look or feel pregnant. All I knew was it either belonged to Will or his father. When Will noticed my stomach was becoming hard and just a little pudgy, he confronted me. He became angry and saying I was ruining his future and didn’t speak to me for days. Then out of nowhere he showed up at my house on Valentines Day. I guess he told his father that he was going to be a dad, and they all wanted to sit down and talk about the thing inside me.
Will didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. It was too late for an abortion, so his mother found a home I could go to, and they would find it a home. Will dropped me off at home and soon after my brothers once again forced me to leave with them.
Will’s father threatened me. To expose me for that night with the photos if I dared tell Will anything about us, and he gave me strict instructions. I was to give birth and never see the thing again. I hated his father, he was a monster, and I knew I couldn’t allow something so evil to be born into this world. I had no plan, other than following through with the pregnancy crisis home. I knew I would be safe there, my brothers wouldn’t even know where I went. So, I accepted.
I came to you, my greatest comfort, later that night. I knew I was leaving to go live on the outskirts of town the next morning. I needed one night in your arms to live a small portion of what our life would have been, and I thought your touch would take away the filth. I used you to cleanse my body.
I’ve been here in this home for months. The other girls are pregnant with innocent little babies, but I am pregnant with something so evil that others can barely tell it lives inside me. I’m not showing as much as the other girls. I know its because I’m carrying the devil’s little secret.
Will’s mother sends him to come see me daily. He takes me to appointments, to the store to get things I need, and he makes me visit my mother, so she doesn’t report me as a missing person. Not that she would anyway, but Will didn’t understand that. I wear baggy clothes these days, just so I can hide the small bump when people see me. But I cannot hide this forever.
I’m in pain as I write this goodbye to you. My water broke and the pain is coming and going. I called Will and told him I needed to visit home for a bit, but will hide the pain from him. I just needed him to drop me off there closer to you.
I need your help, Michael. I cannot live with the shame of what has been happening any longer. I know I’ve neglected you, hid my actions from you, tricked you into thinking I was the girl I always was, up until the night I made love to you. My final wish, the one thing I need from you more than anything I have ever needed, is for you to protect not just my memory, but to protect Will. He never asked for this, what I’m about to do will ruin his life if you do not protect me one last time. This thing will appear as an innocent newborn baby, and I need you to claim it as your own. This will be the greatest gift you have ever given me.
You will find us across the creek on the hillside near where my dad keeps his still. When the police come, they will find that still, which should buy you some time before you have to face him. I know he will have to go to jail for a while. I beg you not to cross Will’s father, He will destroy everything you’ve worked for. He is that evil.
Goodnight, my best friend, my protector, my greatest love, the keeper of my dreams, and now my undertaker.
Love,
Natalie Renee
Axton
Present day…
I watched as Belle raised her shaking fingers to her mouth. She blinked and a tear fell.
“I was selfish, Belle. I wanted to do as she asked, but I went to see Will’s father.” I swallowed hard. “I went to his car dealership and there was an ambulance there, but they loaded the gurney into the ambulance, and it was empty. Then a coroner pulled into the lot, and I learned the man was dead. I had just left the police station after hours of talking with them. So, I protected Will. Belle, he killed his father, and I knew he did. I confirmed it later when I sneaked into Will’s house and found a letter from Natalie in his bedroom. She told him everything about his father. She also told him that she forgave him for being angry. That she loved me and couldn’t live with what she thought she had to do to the baby, then ever look at me again. That I was supposed to marry her and rescue her from that mountainside. Obviously, Natalie had lost her mind after everything that was happening to her. She hid it all so well for a year. I never would have guessed all that happened to her. I went to fold the letter back and that was when I saw the photos of her, the bad ones. They were in a file, so I think Will went looking for answers in his dad’s office and found them. Will wasn’t that stupid, stupid enough to leave what could have been evidence in his bedroom, but his dad’s death was ruled a suicide by hanging. I confronted Will with the letters and photos, and he broke down. He told me he used a gun to get his dad on that chair, then put the rope around his neck, and Will kicked the chair away. He was struggling with all of it, and he was ready to go to the police station and turn himself in for murdering his own father. I was able to talk him down and convince him not to go to the cops. Belle, I couldn’t go back on my word when I claimed that child as mine. I couldn’t show anyone that letter in your hand because they may have looked closer into Will’s dad’s death. I did my best to protect him. He was a mess, and I tried to help him. He said his dad was abusive, but he never suspected he was as evil as the man Natalie described in her letter until he found those photos. He was in love with Natalie, but angry because he had big plans for his future, but after thinking about it for a few days he didn’t think he could go through with an adoption. He was having struggles of his own because of the baby. Never for a moment did he question that she was his daughter.”
“Michael.” She wiped her tears away then cupped my face, but I wasn’t done.
“I knew I couldn’t leave Kayla for the Army with those crazy pricks next door. I also knew there couldn’t be more bloodshed on that mountainside. Will and I came up with a plan. He had a lot of money saved up. He also sold a few things he had, and we raised enough to track down as much meth as we could find. We planted it in Natalie’s brother’s car, then followed them one day to that warehouse and they sat in that car like they were going to meet someone. It was the perfect opportunity to make an anonymous call to the police and report a drug deal. The cops came, found heroin and the meth we planted and the brother’s got ten years in prison. Enough time for Kayla to graduate and take off for college.” I swallowed hard. “Nine years later, Will was drinking and driving when he drove off the side of the mountain. He lives in a vegetative state in a nursing home. He never forgave himself for treating her so bad when he learned she was pregnant. Will was an asshole to kids like me in high school, then I think he overheard those boys talk about Natalie and the night at the warehouse and that did something to him. One day he was an immature prick, and the next he had an actual heart. I told Creed about this yesterday.” I swallowed hard. “Not because I needed to share this with him out of some sort of inner turmoil, but because he found some information out that I tried to keep from him. Natalie’s family learned I’ve done well for myself. They have filed a wrongful death lawsuit against me.”
She gasped.
“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay. They did this on their own with no attorney. Probably because the statute of limitations is like a year or something. No attorney would have touched it, but her parents have managed to get her file opened back up and the Sheriff is looking into her death. Her parents think that baby was mine and I killed her because she was ruining my life. Problem is, the Sheriff is looking into Will’s dad to see if he was involved in her death. I have absolutely no idea what sparked that, but it does make me nervous.”
She studied my eyes, and I hated seeing tears in hers. “She put you in an impossible situation.”
I nodded. “They’re running the baby’s DNA, and it won’t be long before they learn she wasn’t mine. I don’t know if it matters now. They won’t arrest Will for murder, he’s not able to stand trial. I protected Will and Natalie’s memory as long as I can and it’s time the truth comes out. Her brothers and all those people in that warehouse could have hurt a lot of people by now. I should have done it sooner, but I never turned Will in, maybe it was for his mom’s sake, I don’t know but I never wanted to face any of this, but I guess not all secrets can stay buried.”
She let one hand leave my face and wiped some tears away, then placed it back on my cheek. “You are a good man, Michael. Everything you tried to do for her…” She sniffled. “What she took from you that night in your bed. Do you think since she wasn’t showing as much that maybe she was going to try and pass the baby off as yours? You did sleep with her.”
What I was about to say almost made me sick. “She was at least five or six months pregnant that night and I didn’t even notice. The way she did things…it all happened so fast. One minute I was sleeping and the next that happened. I swear, Belle, if she was showing it was just barely. How is that possible?”
“We had a woman in my community that didn’t really show until she was six months. Her midwife said it was likely the position of the baby in her uterus. Another midwife said that it can happen when a woman is really tall too. It’s hard to say, but if you saw what you described you really can’t question it. Everyone is different, and I presume that’s with pregnancy as well.”
I was fighting my emotions and doing a damn good job at it until I added one more thing. “You want to be my closest best friend that I’ve ever had? Does that mean you want me to tell you what I did not tell Creed?”
“Yes.” She nodded as she still had my face cupped and another tear fell from her eye when she blinked.
I took a deep breath. “Natalie smothered that baby after she slit her own wrists. When I found them, she was laying on her side with her baby in her arms.” I had to pause because I felt tears building. “She didn’t want that baby. She wouldn’t even call it a baby, but when I found her, the way she was laying, she was kissing her little forehead when she died.” I lost it then. I had never told anyone that part. It was too hurtful to say out loud. “Her baby was perfect with strawberry blond hair, the perfect little nose, and the tiniest hands with all her little fingers and toes. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her for killing that precious baby.” I broke down. “She took the time to clean her baby up before she took her life.”
Belle pressed her lips against mine then moved her hand so she could press her cheek against mine and hold me. Our tears mixed as we both cried, and she didn’t say a word. Just let me cry, and it was the first time in thirty-one years, someone chose to take care of me. That in itself made me even more emotional. My sister hugged me when I was living through absolute hell and she knew I was having a harder day, because every day for months was different in that grief journey. One day I was angry, the next I shut myself away from the world to cry, and the next I was back to denial. It was like a roller coaster, but mom and Kayla did what everyone always did, they relied on me. I had to do what I always did, work my ass off and take care of everyone but myself.
“The funeral director let me in to see her before she was cremated.” I sniffled. “She was nude with a sheet over her from the neck down, but she was in a cardboard box, Belle. A fucking cardboard box. Her baby was lying beside her, and I saw them both. I gave Natalie the last goodnight kiss she would ever get, and kissed the baby’s forehead. I told that baby I loved her just because she was like me, her parent killed her just like my dad almost killed me, and nobody ever told her they loved her.”
Her lips trailed over to mine, and she pecked them before she rested her forehead against mine. “Every part of you is worth loving. I love the way I feel when you’re near me, I love how your touch not only calms me, but gives me the most exciting moments of my life. I love those dimples, that bright smile, your laugh warms me from head to toe, when you hold me I feel safer than I have ever felt, when I’m holding you I feel like I found my purpose. Like this is where you always should have been. Your father couldn’t take your life away because you had a purpose in life. You fought hard, helped as many people as you could, sacrificed what you knew you needed most, and now this is your reward. You finally get to have peace knowing that I am here for you, Creed is here for you, Josh, Scott, Ryan, Morgan, Kayla, and even your mother is here for you. It’s time you lay Natalie to rest and give her the peace she deserves by burying those fucking brothers.”
I gasped in shock. “What did you just say? Did you just say fuckers?” I chuckled.
“It’s new vocabulary and I promise to use it wisely.” She whispered against my lips.
I laughed through my tears. “It’s so shocking it may just be a superpower to stun your enemies. Just please use it for good and not evil.”
Her lips brushed against my cheek then she whispered in my ear. “One of these days, Michael Axton, I’m going to convince you to marry me for real. Then you’re going to fuck me deep and hard then come deep inside me. It’ll be raw, and you will be bare inside me. There will never be anything between your cock and my inner walls when you fuck your wife.”
Instant hard on, even with fresh tears. “My little girl has a dirty mouth. What should we do about that?”
“I have never wanted to be a good little girl in your bed. Not in my dreams or my fantasies.” She kissed my neck.
I knew she had no idea the definition of a dirty girl, but I liked the dirty mouth. I wanted to laugh but controlled it. Only Belle could take me from an emotional breakdown to laughing in a matter of moments. “Maybe you can show me exactly how dirty that mouth can get.”
I thought nothing could have topped the first blow job she gave me the night before, but the things she did with her mouth in that movie room blew me away. It took me fifteen minutes just to recover enough to feel my limbs again. Finally, I picked her up, took her upstairs and we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I didn’t think I had ever slept so good in my life. Talking to Belle about Natalie took a weight off me then the blow job did me in, and I knew without a doubt my search was over. It wasn’t the perfect sexual experience I needed, it was Belle all along.
Belle
I had the best day shadowing Morgan at school. We had a wide range of kids from kindergarten to grade twelve. It wasn’t just kids that lived at Creed’s Lake because one or both of their parents were what Michael called operatives, they were also children rescued from an abusive situation.
I learned a lot that day. When Michael and I woke up that morning, he told me the truth about Creed’s Lake. I suspected it was something military related, but the confirmation of it didn’t sit well with me. My husband still took dangerous missions, and he had no plans to retire from them anytime soon. He explained they always took a long break near Christmas and New Years, but when the missions started up again, he would have missions to command and would be gone at night. At other times he would be out of the country doing dangerous work. I tried not to cry because the thought of anyone hurting him felt like my heart was being squeezed and I couldn’t breathe. I knew I would be okay because Creed’s Lake would prepare me for life outside those gates, but at the same time, I needed Michael. Not because I had no idea how to pay taxes, drive a car, or budget money, but because I didn’t want a life without him. I was in trouble, because I knew I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him and I didn’t think he felt the same yet. It hadn’t been enough time for him.
We had to go on with our day and I had to be at work, just like him. That felt good, because I was going to teach. Morgan explained that the school was in a state of limbo. It wasn’t yet an Indiana accredited school, and things like that took time. The kids were taking online classes, or homeschooling if you will, and we were there to follow the homeschooling program with Morgan’s support. We had such a wide variety of ages and there were only two of us. We would be considered a micro private school, but Morgan wanted it to be accredited by the state so we could get some state funds. We would offer full-time, part-time, and hybrid learning. Creed’s legal team was filing for grants, and Morgan was looking for funding from her contacts in Hollywood. The only children that would be eligible for the grants were the DV kids, which we did not refer to them that way in public, but the operatives would have had to pay tuition for their children. More and more of the operative’s families were interested in pulling their children from public school because Morgan was having a lot of success with the kids she was currently teaching. Currently there was sixteen students and there was another eighteen whose parents filled out the application for next year.
We had elementary kids in the morning and teens in the afternoon. It was fun but I was concerned. Morgan was concerned. We needed more teachers, but none lived at Creed’s Lake. The more people allowed inside the gates the more people that needed clearance. There were top secret things going on below the community center. Not just that, but we had identities to protect, not just for the DV victims, but the undercover operatives.
I didn’t know how Morgan did it. Her twin pregnancy was pretty much full term, she taught all day, then since Addie was on Christmas break, she had to get her from daycare and deal with little miss big attitude at home. Thankfully, Creed was an amazing dad and husband and shared the responsibility. Unfortunately, he had an emergency meeting with Michael and the rest of the Originals.
Michael sent a prospect, yes, he explained the motorcycle club and why they called the new people prospects, to pick me up. I declined and decided to go home with Morgan and help her with Addie.
Addie was a pain in the rear end. That child was something I never saw before in my entire life. She thought she knew how to get one over on me when Morgan laid down for a nap. She did the whole batting those long lashes, scrunching that little nose, and pushing those glasses up the bridge of her nose to be absolutely adorable. I knew she would do that to get whatever she wanted out of every grown man on Creed’s Lake. She had them wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. That wasn’t all, she was smart. Very smart. I mean so smart she knew exactly what to say and how to act to put them all under her spell. It didn’t work with me. I saw right through it the minute I saw her go for that pantry door while I made dinner. When she was told no, she had the nerve to call her little fuzzy protector in the room. That fuzzy little protector must have known her games because he laid down at my feet. “No ma’am. That is not how a young lady speaks to anyone, let alone an adult.” I said and her little jaw dropped straight to the floor. She acted like she didn’t know what hit her. By the time Creed and Michael showed up, I had dinner almost ready, and Addie had three books read out loud. After the first book, I think she may have realized I wasn’t punishing her, but keeping her busy and out of trouble. She didn’t seem to mind though, the books I chose in her rooms were ones she hadn’t read yet. I noticed a few things with her speech, so I made her read the words she messed up over and over until she got it right.
Creed went to check on Morgan and Michael wrapped his arms around me. “I think you may have broken my niece. She’s being really quiet.”
I gave him a guilty smile. “Maybe just a little.”
“What did she do this time?”
“She tried to sneak cookies before dinner, and when I told her no, she told me to eat shit.” I said.
“Uncle Mike! Listen to dis!” Addie looked down at the book in her hand. “Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, stuffed all the bags, one by one!”
Michael’s eyes grew. “Whoa, do that again.”
She pronounced all the words perfectly and they were challenging words to read for her age, let alone pronounce.
She repeated it again. “Auntie Belle said to slow down and not rush the words!” She was speaking a little slower than normal, processing each letter then sounding them out.
“Addie, I’m so proud of you! Do you realize you said those words perfectly?” Michael asked.
Addie nodded real big then found another spot in the book and quoted it perfectly.
“I’m so proud of you!” Michael let go of me then picked up Addie. “I heard you said some bad words again. We’ve talked about this, how many times?”
“Probably forty.” Addie gave him a cheesy grin.
“Don’t you think that’s too many?” Michael asked.
“Not my fault. Talking to Weston dumbs me down.” She pouted. “Stupid maween.”
Michael laughed then looked at me. “She’s got me there.” He then looked at Addie. “Someday you may like those Marines.”
“Only Aunt Wrenly because she da best maween ever.” She laid her hand on Michael’s cheek. “You got a baby face.” She rubbed his fresh new face then tilted her head. “You look like daddy a widdle.”
Michael chuckled. “Only a little because we both know I’m way more handsome.”
Addie giggled.
We left so the Creed’s could enjoy their dinner and we had a great evening. We had dinner at the mess hall then I learned Michael had plans for us. We curled up together in the movie room and he had several movies chosen for us. He wanted to introduce me to the best Christmas movies he thought was ever made. It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34 th Street, then I cried for all the misfit toys in Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. Then I laughed so hard at The Elf my tummy hurt. He tried to hug a raccoon and chewed all the nasty gum people had stuck to things! We kissed and fooled around during The Christmas Story, then fell asleep during Frosty The Snowman. Somehow, I woke up on Christmas Eve in our bed wrapped safely in Michael’s arms. My favorite man in the world must have carried me to bed.
We didn’t hurry to leave our warm bed. We talked, teased, he gave me another orgasm with his fingers, then we just laid there holding each other as we talked. I asked for an update on Jeremy, and he said we were waiting for him to make a move on us first.
Then we made brunch. He turned on Christmas music and while we waited for our breakfast casserole I made, he held me close as we slow danced to Christmas music. We didn’t even bother to get dressed. He was in his boxer briefs, and I was still in my nightgown. I learned very quick that there was some sort of magic when it came to the holidays. It felt cozy and warm, yet exciting and fun. It was beautiful, especially since it started snowing. It somehow made me feel like anything was possible and I felt more hopeful than I ever felt. He told me it had been years since Southern Indiana had a truly white Christmas.
After breakfast he took my hand and led me to the living room before he pulled me down on his lap to watch the snow as it quickly blanketed the earth. It was so beautiful, and peaceful as we sat in silence.
Koty wasn’t home. He had a sleepover at one of his new friend’s houses. What was once peaceful, turned passionate with just one kiss. I straddled him, and the only thing between us was his boxer briefs. I cupped his face as I rocked my hips against his hardness.
“You have no idea how bad I need to be inside you.” He whispered through his heavy breaths.
“Then be inside me.” I might have gotten on my knees and begged if I didn’t know how stubborn he was.
“Lift up.” He ordered then reached between us to pull down his boxer briefs just enough to pull himself out of them. He lowered me, just so my wetness sat on top his hardness. He wouldn’t breach my seal, but he did thrust his hips as I rocked against him.
“You’re so wet.” He whimpered against my lips. “So soft.” He thrust again. “So warm and I’m not even inside you.”
“Please Michael.” I needed him so bad I was going insane.
He pulled my lips down to his and kissed me as we kept working our bodies against each other. He pulled my nightgown over my head then threw it to the floor. His hand squeezed my breast as the other one trailed down my back then over my behind, and finally a finger slid inside me. Then another one, and he withdrew. I groaned up my breath but then I felt something new. One finger slowly slid into my behind and another inside my vagina.
“Oh my God, Michael!” He was still thrusting against my little nub and soon I was seeing stars. My body climaxed then exploded.
“I’m falling in love with you!” I cried it out of nowhere.
He was panting against my lips as he worked. “I don’t know how it happened, but I fucking love you, Belle. Fuck it's so intense.”
I knew, I felt it too. I held on to him for dear life as my orgasm grew so intense my entire body began trembling. The second I came down he gently pushed me to the floor, then he thrust his hardness between my breasts. He started off slow then quickened his pace. “You’re…fuck you’re about to get a pearl necklace.” He warned me, just before he grasped himself in his fist then pumped it as ribbons of his semen shot out of him and onto my breasts. He suddenly pushed it between my lips, and he finished inside my mouth. He stood then went for a washcloth and cleaned me up before pulling me back onto his lap.