Chapter Four #3
It may not have been a kiss, but I’d take any result I could get. I smiled at him, grabbing the handle to the door and yanking it open.
“Aye, f’sure. Y’know me place. Come by when ya ready, like.”
I exited out into the sunshine, squinting into the bright light. I made sure I was a safe distance away before allowing myself a wee stupid, goofy grin. Today was going to be a good day, that was for sure.
When I got back to the caravan, Ma and Darragh were both still sat outside, sunning themselves with eyes closed. Neither of them heard me approach and I kicked the leg of Darragh’s chair as I passed him.
“Holy feckin’ shite!” he gasped, flinching. “Whatcha playin’ at?!”
I laughed and lobbed my damp towel at my ma.
Whilst she screeched a string of profanities at me, I hopped up the steps and put my shower caddy away.
She was still muttering under her breath as she pegged out the towel onto the makeshift line she’d erected between a nearby tree and one of the windows.
I took the opportunity to nick her seat, throwing myself down in it with a grin.
“Y’in a good mood f’someone who was in bed in bits and hour ago, like,” Darragh muttered.
“What’s there t’ be sour ‘bout? I’d be well-rested, full o’ bacon, suns out, guns out—” I flexed my bicep at Darragh, earning myself an exasperated chuckle.
“I’d be thinkin’ I preferred ya bein’ a wee grumpy bastard, aye,” he muttered, jerking away and rubbing his arm with a scowl when I punched him playfully.
“Oi! Whatcha think y’playin’ at y’wee gobshite!” Ma shouted, realising I’d taken her chair. “Go on! Get!” When I didn’t move, she slapped me on the back of the head and the hits kept coming until I was laughing and attempting to shield myself from her.
“Jaysus! A’right! A’right!” I gasped, easing myself up out of the chair. I’d barely caught my breath when I spotted John-Francis approaching. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, wide shoulders rounded self-consciously. He was nervous, I realised with a start.
“Oi, I’d meant ta be sayin’ – ran inta the fella I’d a few drinks wi’ last night in the toilet block. His mate is tied up givin’ some wee geebag a goin’ over—”
“Ugh, Ronan!” Ma interrupted with a grimace, and I grinned at her before continuing.
“—So I invited him ta tag along with us, if that’s a’right f’yourself?”
Darragh shrugged, unfazed like I’d expected. “F’sure. Is he a decent fella, like?”
I jerked my chin up as John-Francis sidled up. “Aye, I’d be sayin’ so. Howsagoin’, fella?”
Both Ma and Darragh looked up at the stranger’s intrusion, but Ma was first to comment.
“Jaysus, ya a fine-lookin’ fella, now,” she gasped. I cringed – probably should have expected that reaction and all.
Thankfully, John-Francis laughed. “Well, I’d be thankin’ ya, like.”
Whilst Darragh got up and introduced himself, my ma caught my eye. She gave me a knowing look and when I scowled at her, silently warning her to keep her mouth shut, she smirked.
“So, what’ve y’lads got on f’the day, now?” Ma asked, hands on her hips. “T’the fair, is it?”
“Aye, probably, like.” I shrugged.
“Thought we’d be nippin’ down ta the river ta watch the wee nags bein’ washed an’ then up ta the flashin’ lane ta watch f’anythin’ nice, like,” Darragh continued before turning to John-Francis. “Y’like a wee horse, now?”
“Aye, though there’s no room f’one in the back of me van, like,” he chuckled. “I’d not be buyin’.”
“Ah, an’ neither are ya, y’hear me, boyo!” Ma lectured, pointing her finger at Darragh. “We’d not be wantin’ any four-legged friends comin’ back wi’ ya, got it?”
“Aye, aye,” Darragh muttered, rolling his eyes. That earned him a well-aimed smack on the back of the head and he winced, swearing under his breath.
“Feckin’ hell, like,” I sighed, dragging a vest top on over my head. “Let’s get on now, aye?”
“Don’t ya be forgettin’ I’m—”
“Meetin’ wi’ y’wee pals again, we know,” Darragh interrupted.
“Excuse me rude feckin’ twats o’ boys, John-Francis,” Ma grumbled. “Me name’s Fiadh. Was nice meetin’ ya, son.”
He nodded his head. “Aye, y’too. Take care out on the town later, won’t ya?”
My ma practically swooned. “Ah, that’s kind o’ ya t’ say. I will, now. Have fun, y’hear?”
We said our farewells, leaving Ma and the caravan behind as we strolled out of the compound and into the country lanes.
“I dunno about yaselves, lads, but I’d be keen on a drink,” Darragh said, grinning.
“Stellar idea, now,” John-Francis replied, nudging me with his elbow. When I glanced up at him, our eyes locked and his lips quirked into a subtle smile. “What says ya?”
“Quality.” I deliberately let my gaze linger on his mouth a moment before looking away across the fields with a sniff.
It took us all of fifteen minutes to amble on into Appleby town.
Just as the day before, there were folks and horses everywhere.
We grabbed ourselves three ice cold ciders from a stall before making our way through the crowds towards the edge of the river Eden.
Folks lined the stone bridge, watching as people rode their horses into the water, submerging them up to their necks in some cases with impressive horsemanship.
We eventually found ourselves a wee spot to perch on, chatting shite and drinking beneath the baking sun.
Just as I’d hoped, John-Francis and Darragh rubbed along nicely.
Soon enough they were ripping on each other like they’d known one another their whole lives and I was overcome with a disconcerting sense of comfort and happiness that had me feeling embarrassed for myself.
I wasn’t usually one to be overly romantic, and yet I could feel myself warming up to John-Francis in a way I rarely did with fellas I’d fucked.
“Feckin’ ‘ell, lads, I’d be sweatin’ me tits off,” Darragh gasped, the full heat of the afternoon sun roaring down on us. “Me forehead is fryin’ like a wee egg!”
I had to admit, he was looking rather pink, and I smirked at him. “Dunno ‘bout eggs, but y’face be lookin’ like a beet, fella.”
John-Francis laughed, setting me alight, whilst Darragh groaned and attempted to shade the worst of the sun off his face.
“Aye, laugh it up,” he muttered angrily. “I’d never be landin’ a wee feek lookin’ like this.”
John Francis and I continued to chuckle at Darragh’s expense until he eventually excused himself, keen to get out of the sun and left us alone.
“He’s a feckin’ melter, aye?” John-Francis grinned.
“Y’not wrong there, like. Such a tit.”
“Y’said he’s ya cousin, aye? Ya ma his or yours?” he asked, leaning back on his arms.
“She’d be mine. She took Darragh in when his ma passed givin’ birth ta him a few months before I was born, like,” I replied.
John-Francis let out a low whistle. “Sounds like a lot ta handle, now.”
I smirked. “Aye, she hasn’t had an easy run o’ things with the two o’ us, but I wouldn’t be without her, like. I know Darragh thinks the same.”
“Ya lucky ta have her, y’know.” Something about the tone of John-Francis’s voice altered, growing deeper and somehow softer. Family was a source of pain for him, that much was clear, and I wondered how much he’d reveal to me.
“Y’see much o’ ya ma?”
He shook his head. “Nah, she passed a few years ago, like.”
I felt my stomach lurch. “Ah, shite. Sorry.”
John-Francis cast me a soft smile. “Don’t be. I’d not seen her f’years even ‘fore that, like.”
“An’ ya da? He’s not in the picture?”
John-Francis’s expression hardened in an instant.
“I don’t mind tellin’ ya me da was a piece o’ shite.
Beat seven bells outta me an’ her more than once.
He’s who killed her. Beat her inta a coma.
He’s inside now, which is just as well, like.
I left home at fifteen, a feckin’ weed o’ a lad.
not so sure he’d get the best o’ me these days like he used ta. ”
I felt nauseous. Unfortunately, domestic violence was prevalent in the traveller community.
John-Francis’s past wasn’t nearly as shocking as it should have been, but I felt sad for him.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like to have nowhere you felt safe.
Though I wasn’t sure if I should, I had one more burning question I felt compelled to ask.
“Did ya folks know ‘bout the way y’are?”
Though John-Francis dropped his head back with a bitter laugh, his expression remained cold.
“Aye, they did. I tell ya, y’luckier than ya know havin’ a ma who accepts ya. not sure ya ever really get over y’own ma lookin’ at ya like y’shite on her shoe. Da beat me ta a pulp ‘fore turfin’ me out on me arse.” He sniffed. “It’d been me an’ Declan ever since, like.”
Suddenly everything made sense. That wall he’d built up around himself, the reluctance to accept his true self… John-Francis had been hurt in the worst way a traveller could be – being outcast and abandoned by his family. I didn’t even know what to say, my chest aching with sympathy.
We were silent for a long while, just watching the horses in and out of the river, but when I sensed John-Francis’s eyes on me, I was helpless but to meet them. For the first time since we’d met, I felt as though I was truly seeing him. How had I missed the pain behind those lovely grey eyes?
“I ever tell ya y’feckin’ cute, like?”
I blinked, taking a moment to absorb John-Francis’s words before grinning.
“Aye, once, but given y’were feckin’ the shite outta me at the time, I took it wi’ a wee pinch o’ salt, like,” I teased.
At last, a genuine smile. John-Francis chuckled, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Well, think o’ this as me officially tellin’ ya, then. Ya a cute fella.”
I scowled, ignoring how my heart sped up in my chest. “Feckin’ cute, like – y’alright are ya?”
“Ah, sure. The more pissed off ya are, the cuter ya get,” he teased with a grin.
I looked away, afraid my cheeks were flushing from more than just the warmth of the sun. “Feck off, like.”
With the tense atmosphere evaporating, John-Francis and I continued to chat and laugh until Darragh returned, lamenting his sunburn and the effect peeling would have on his sex appeal.
Eventually taking pity on him, we moved on, heading over to a quiet road, known as the flashing lane, where the horses that were available to be purchased were trotted up and down by their owners, like a wee shop window and testing run for the horse dealers.
The Flash ran all day, every day whilst the fair was on and luckily for Darragh, we were sure to find a bit of shade whilst we watched.
We’d been there maybe an hour when a wee red headed fella interrupted us, shouting across the lane for John-Francis.
“Oi, oi!” He grinned. “Is it not yourself? How’s the craic?”
I glanced to John-Francis as he flipped the fella off with a grin before turning to me.
“Unfortunately, a wee mate o’ mine,” he laughed. “Seamus is a good lad, like. Bit o’ a wee gobshite, but a decent sort.”
Darragh and I watched as Seamus waited for a gap between the horses before jogging across to join us. He clapped John-Francis on the back roughly.
“A’right.” His eyes fell to us. “Howsagoin’?”
“Nice ta meet ya,” Darragh replied, whilst I simply jerked my chin up in greeting.
“Seamus, Ronan and Darragh. Fellas, this is Seamus a long-time wee pal o’ mine.” John-Francis grinned.
“No Declan, like?” Seamus asked, glancing around.
John-Francis shook his head. “Nah, he’d be gettin’ his end away wi’ that wee settled girl, Tess.”
“Oh, he got the ride in then?” he laughed.
“Y’not surprised, are ya? This is Declan we’d be talkin’ ‘bout,” John-Francis replied.
Seamus smirked. “Aye, true enough, like.” He smacked his hand to his friend’s chest. “‘Ey, but I hear ya got y’hole as well, aye. Wee buffer had a friend wi’ her, like?”
Ah, yeah, the blonde girl from last night. Just remembering it left me feeling agitated. John-Francis and I had patched things up well enough and I wasn’t going to hold it over him, but I couldn’t deny hearing Seamus congratulating him about it rubbed me up the wrong way.
The subtle shift in my mood must have been palpable. John-Francis laughed, but it was forced now and scratched the back of his head.
“Wasn’t anythin’ special, like. Unlike Dec, I wouldn’t be chasin’ her up f’a repeat performance.”
Seamus smirked, smacking his hand up and down atop John-Francis’s shoulder before turning his attention back to the horses.
Our group, now a foursome, continued to watch The Flash in silence for a moment.
When John-Francis’s arm brushed mine, I thought nothing of it until I felt the backs of his fingers stroke my forearm.
Just that, the smallest of touches, sent a tingle through me like a bolt of electricity.
Fuck, it should be criminal to be this painfully into someone.