Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Azrael
The mood is somber when we return home, and I hate it.
Three fucking days of bliss, and now I’ve no choice but to return and face the wrath of my father and his plans.
The man is unhinged at the best of times, so trying to figure out his next move has become a challenge, especially when he trusts no one. Not even his sons.
My phone buzzes, and I scoop it up from the desk.
Czar: You’ve been summoned.
Me: When?
Czar: Tonight. Eight thirty.
Fuck. I rub my fingers over my temples. All I can hope is that he deals me a physical punishment like scars on my back. The sexual ones as a child and teenager were much worse, and it’s something Czar would not be able to sit back and witness, though I’d encourage him to.
We’ve been trained to learn if we step in, then Sienna is next in line, with promises of selling her into sex slavery. That’s not something either of us is willing to risk for our sister.
As long as he still sees me as an asset and heir, then he won’t force me to endure humiliation. At the end of the day, he wants me to become a strong leader, so for his men to witness the depravity he longs for would be undermining us as men.
I’m unsure if that gives me solace about my situation, because all that does is leave Hevan and our unborn child in more danger than ever.
Jesus, I need to get ahead of this and speak with Hevan, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
What the fuck do I say? You can’t keep the baby?
It doesn’t matter what we want; it’s not safe.
I’m going to destroy her, and as cowardly as it is, I just can’t do it.
Not yet, not when she looks at me like I’m her everything.
A knock sounds on the office door, and stupid hope blooms in my chest.
“Come in.” I sit back in my chair, attempting to hide the smile fighting to break out on my face. My happiness falls when Elizabeth walks into the room and closes the door behind her.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sir. What would you like for dinner tonight?”
The question catches me off guard; she never asks me. “I won’t be here for dinner; I’ll be at my father’s.”
“Hevan too?” Her name playing on her lips pisses me off. I don’t like anyone calling her by her name, not when I’ve only just gotten used to it myself. It’s mine.
“No. Why the hell would I take my slave there?” I snap back. Then the thought of Hevan eating without me sends a flash of regret through me. “Why don’t you go ask her what she wants to eat tonight? Where the fuck is she, anyway?”
“Th-the library, sir.”
She’s clearly still sulking at my harsh words, but she needed to hear them, every damn one. I refuse to allow her to believe we can live in a dream world.
“Is that all?” I cock a brow.
She nods, dodging my glare and bolting out of the door as if her ass were on fire. Fuck, I’m such a bastard.
I’m unsure how long has passed with thoughts of Hevan consuming me.
With a heavy sigh, I stand and peer out the window overlooking the garden.
I avoid the search for the brightest star in the sky like I do every nightfall.
The guilt of losing her is always eating away at me, it’s something I did in order to survive, to claim my title as the devil and secure my future in the empire.
Now I’m left with another choice, but I’m entirely at odds as to how to survive it.
The house is quiet as I head to the library, an eerie silence I’ve become accustomed to, but I can’t help but wonder what the sound of a baby would be like in this cold building I call home.
My heart lurches at the sight of her. She’s curled into a small ball, her eyes are rimmed red but closed, and her small lips are even pouting in her sleep.
The thought has my lip tipping up. She clutches a book to her chest, and I slip it from her grasp to place it on the coffee table.
“The Count of Monte Cristo, very interesting, Little Toy.” Then I scoop her into my arms and head toward the stairs.
“Azrael?” Her soft, sleepy voice is full of uncertainty, and it sends a shiver down my spine at the rawness of it.
“Shhh, go back to sleep, Hevan. You’re safe with me.” I kiss the top of her head and relish the way she nestles into my chest as if seeking protection.
“I’m always safe with you,” she whispers back, and how I wish that was true. Though I refuse to admit it to her, and that heavy ball of dread inside me is pulling me down. Suddenly, I don’t want to leave her tonight, not like this, not without us ironing things out.
Instead of heading to her room, I take us straight into mine.
It feels right to lay her on my sheets surrounded by my scent, fully encapsulated in everything me.
I bend and breathe her in while I place a soft kiss on the top of her head, and she responds with a sweet sound that causes my cock to twitch.
If she’s going to be safe anywhere, it’s here, right where she belongs.