Chapter 4
A t around eight thirty there was a quiet rap at the door. “Yeah?”
Polly stuck her head in. “Mr. Blue, can I come in?”
“Sure.” Blue had the baby in one arm and a bottle in the other hand. “I’m just getting ready to feed her.”
He was surprised to see a container in Polly’s hands.
“I brought you dinner. If you’ve already eaten, you can save it for tomorrow.
” She stepped up closer to him and pulled off the plastic lid.
“It’s just spaghetti and meatballs that I made.
It’s not all that good, but I thought maybe it would help you out. ”
A knot formed in Blue’s chest as he watched the little girl show him her gift, and it occurred to him that he hadn’t eaten all day. All he’d done was work to get things done for Indigo. “Oh, wow, Polly, that’s really nice! Yeah, I haven’t eaten.”
“I’ll feed her if you want so you can eat. I don’t mind,” she said, giving him a shy smile. She reached for Indigo and Blue handed the baby over. Once she’d settled on the sofa, he handed her the bottle and picked up the container where she’d set it on the coffee table.
Digging in the drawer for a clean fork, he sat down at the rickety kitchen table and started to eat, shocked at how good it was. “Polly, this is delicious! You can really cook!”
“Thanks,” she said, grinning. “I’ve been cooking since I was about eight. I cook for me and Toady when Mom’s at work.”
“I’ve seen you…” Blue started, then realized he didn’t want her to know he’d seen them through the window. “Seen you taking care of him. You’ll be a good mom someday,” he told the girl.
“Thanks. I love little kids,” she said, her voice dreamy. “I want to own a daycare when I’m grown and take care of kids all day long.”
“I bet you’ll do it. And you’ll be great at it too,” Blue said, still eating. Boy, it was good and he was hungry!
“Thanks. I hope so. Let’s burp you, little miss Indigo,” she told the baby and hoisted her up onto her shoulder. As she patted the infant’s back, she said, “Seems like you’re doing a pretty good job with her.”
“That’s what your mom said. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you two hadn’t come to the rescue,” Blue said, gratitude filling his chest in a rush. He owed them a lot. They’d changed his life in less than forty-eight hours, and that was nothing short of a miracle.
“You’ll be fine. As long as you love her, everything will be okay,” she announced.
Did he love her? Two days earlier he hadn’t even known she existed.
Now, suddenly, he was someone’s dad, and not a very good one at that.
“I hope you’re right,” was all he could say.
How did he feel? As he watched Polly burping her and talking to her, he thought about how crazy his house had been a couple of days prior.
He’d played music too loudly and made a lot of racket, and he knew the truth.
He was tired of being alone. Sure, he’d thought if he wasn’t alone it would be because he’d found a warm, soft woman to share his bed.
The idea that there’d be a baby in his house had never crossed his mind, and why would it?
It was still the most foreign idea in the world to him, and yet he knew that in those few hours since he’d found her on the porch, she’d become important to him in ways he hadn’t known a child could be.
Most importantly, Cindy hadn’t wanted the baby, but for some reason she’d thought Blue could take care of Indigo.
Had Cindy seen something in him that he didn’t see in himself?
In his thinking, if he’d been her, he would’ve turned the baby over to the state before he would’ve left her with the likes of himself, but Cindy hadn’t done that.
“Mr. Blue?” a voice said, cutting through his reverie.
“Oh! Sorry! Yeah?”
“I said, do you want me to give her a bath?”
Blue’s eyes went wide. “Um, yeah, I suppose. Does she need one?”
“Well, if you were peeing on yourself, wouldn’t you need one?” she asked and laughed.
Blue chuckled. “You’ve got a point there! So how’s this done?”
Polly helped him clean out the kitchen sink, scrub it with a little bleach water, and line the bottom with a towel before filling it with warm water. “Did Mom get some baby bath?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Let me look.” Blue rummaged around in the drawer in the bedroom where he’d put all the baby stuff. He came back with a bottle of lemon-yellow liquid. “No, but there’s baby shampoo,” he said, holding out the bottle.
“We can use that in a pinch. So here we go.” He watched as Polly used a soft kitchen cloth as a washcloth and lathered it up, then washed the baby gently all over.
Of course, she did the same thing with her girl parts as she’d taught him when diapering, and it didn’t seem weird at all anymore, just like something you were supposed to do.
When she was finished, she said, “Oh, we need another towel!”
“On it!” Blue barked and ran for the bathroom. He came back with a big bath towel.
“Lay it out on the counter. You can put her in the middle of it and wrap her up in it.” He watched as Polly very gently placed the baby diagonally on the towel, then wrapped her up sort of like a burrito. “Here you go. All clean and sweet-smelling,” she said, handing Indigo to Blue.
He stared down at his little daughter, all damp and wiggly.
She had a fist in her mouth and she was chewing on it to beat the band.
When he drew her up close to his face, he could smell the baby shampoo, its fresh scent making him smile.
Without even thinking, he kissed her tiny forehead and heard her let out a little squeak that gave his heart a shove.
I’m falling in love! Blue realized as he kissed her soft skin again. This was his baby, his little daughter, IndigoDarling Wallace, someone who shared his genetics and his name. She was innocent, completely at his mercy, and he could break her or nurture her.
He wanted to nurture her. He wanted to show Anne and Polly and the guys at work and his bandmates that he could be a dad, someone a little girl could count on.
He was tired of being BlueWallace, the shit who made everyone else around him miserable in his misery.
Instead, he wanted to be someone different.
He wanted to be BrentAlan Wallace, IndigoDarling’s daddy. And maybe it was a rocky start, but it was still a start.
His phone rang at a quarter to ten, and he checked it to find Anne calling him. “I thought you were at work,” he said instead of a typical greeting.
“I am. But I wanted to check on you. Doing okay?”
Blue sighed. “Yeah. Doing pretty good. Polly came over while I was feeding her earlier and brought me some food.”
“Oh! Well, that was nice. I don’t care if she is mine―she’s a good kid,” Anne told him.
“Yes, she is. Oh, and she showed me how to bathe the… Indigo,” he said, remembering to use her name.
“Damn! I didn’t even think to get baby wash! What did you use?”
“Baby shampoo. She said it would work in a pinch,” Blue explained.
“She was right. I’ll stop at the big discount store on my way home and pick up some real baby wash so you’ll have it. Once I get everything bought, you’ll be able to look at all the labels and know what to buy when you run out.”
“Right. But I hate for you to do that.”
“No trouble. It’s right on the way home. So unless you need me, I’m going straight home after work and I’ll see you in the morning. Is that okay?” Anne asked.
“Sure! Please. Go on home. We’re okay. I’ll have to pick up more formula tomorrow, but I can do that on my way home,” he told her.
“No, I’ll get it while I’m there. And before I go to work tomorrow, I’ll check a couple of the thrift stores for car seats,” she said. “I wanted to surprise you with one, but I haven’t had the chance yet. So now you know.”
“Anne,” Blue said, and to his surprise, his voice faltered.
Don’t get all emotional , he warned himself, but he couldn’t help it.
“Anne,” he said, trying again, “you have no idea how much I appreciate all of this. I mean, really, you didn’t have to do any of this, but I…
Thank you. I mean, really. Thank you so much. ”
“You want to thank me? Be successful at this, Brent. I mean it. Do right by her and that’s all the thanks I’ll need.”
“I won’t let you down, I promise,” Blue said, meaning every word.
“Don’t worry about letting me down. Worry about letting her down. You worry about that and I’m pretty sure I’ll be happy, okay?” she said with a tiny chuckle.
“Gotcha,” Blue said with a chuckle of his own.
“Good. Gotta get back to it. It’s almost quitting time. Goodnight, Brent. Talk to you in the morning.”
“G’night, Anne. Be careful going home.” With that, he ended the call and sat there, wondering at himself.
He’d just told the neighbor who hated him to be careful driving home. Life’s full of wonders , he mused. Did she still hate him?
He thought about her soft curves, that dark hair, and those luminous eyes. God, he hoped she didn’t still hate him, because he sure as hell didn’t still hate her.
She sat and worked on charts, but Anne was having trouble concentrating.
No matter how hard she tried to put it all out of her mind, she kept seeing Blue’s face when she asked him about his family, and the pain in his eyes when he’d told her he grew up in foster care.
She’d heard the horror stories over the years from first one and then another patient who’d been abused and neglected as they grew up in the system.
She’d also run into several who sang the praises of their foster families and swore those people had kept them from being alone and afraid.
For some, it had been their undoing; for others, their rebirth.
It was a pretty sure bet which it had been for Blue.