Chapter 5 #3
Blue cracked open the cover and looked inside. Almost every page was filled with names, phone numbers, and addresses. “Wow. Thanks. This is amazing.”
“I guess we’d all better go back to work. I’ll package up the leftover cake and bring it home tonight, if that’s okay,” Anne told him.
“Oh, yeah, that’s great. I should probably help clean up, huh?” he asked.
“No. We’ll do that. Let Amber hold Indigo while Brandon goes down and helps you put the car seat in. Then we can load up the truck with the big gifts and I’ll bring the smaller ones home in my car. Sound okay?” Anne asked.
“Sure. Yeah. That’s great,” Blue said, still trying to form words. “Yeah. Great. Okay. Thanks, everybody. Really.”
What happened next was something Blue would never forget.
As the nurses and doctors all went back to work, Anne had him stand by the door.
One by one, they filed out, and all of them introduced themselves.
And as they did, several of them took his hand, but most of them gave him a hug.
The first one was difficult―he hadn’t been hugged in, well, forever.
But after the first two or three, he realized he liked the sensation of arms wrapping around him and squeezing him lightly.
It was comforting. No one ever touched him, and it felt good to be touched.
When almost everyone was gone, several of the women left behind strolled back into the room with wheelchairs and a couple of gurneys, and they loaded all the gifts on them and headed downstairs.
As they walked down the hallway to the elevator, people he’d never seen before stopped and congratulated him on being a new dad.
They smiled at him, and he could see that their smiles were genuine.
They weren’t being fake. They really meant what they were saying.
Brandon had the car seat in the truck in seconds and showed Blue how to strap Indigo in. They loaded the big things in the bed of the truck and, one by one, they congratulated Blue again and told him how happy they were to be able to give him a baby shower. He thanked them over and over.
Everyone was gone except Anne. She stepped to the passenger side of the truck and tucked a little blanket over Indigo and under her chin.
“Hey, cutie-pie, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?
” Then she rounded the front of the truck and stood in Blue’s open door.
“I’ll come over as soon as I get off and bring the other things.
” When he didn’t answer, she asked, “Blue? You okay?”
The eyes he turned to her were totally, utterly lost, and he knew it. “I just don’t understand. Why would these people do this, Anne? Why? It’s crazy! It doesn’t make any sense!”
To his complete shock, Anne laid her palms against his cheeks and looked up into his face.
“I know where you came from. I know how your life’s been.
Brent, that’s not how most people are. Most people love other people.
They want to help when someone needs it.
They want to share their lives with others.
They’re kind and giving and loving. I know you didn’t experience that growing up, but you will now.
Take Indigo home, get her in the house and settled, then get the stuff out of the truck.
We’ll put it together in the next few days.
I’ll help you, okay?” Blue nodded. “Good. Now be careful driving home. I’ll see you in a bit. ”
“Okay,” he said, afraid to say anything more. Anne waved as she strolled across the parking lot and disappeared into the building, and Blue turned the key in the ignition and headed out onto the street.
He only made it a block and had to pull over. From nowhere, sobs tore from his throat and he heaved and cried. What was happening to him? Why did those people care about him? It was all so confusing and a little scary.
But it was also enlightening. He’d never known people who did things like that.
All his life he’d been pushed away, tossed aside, and treated like shit.
No one cared about him and no one did anything for him.
He’d struggled and fought and scraped for everything he’d ever had, and now, suddenly, there were people who cared what happened to him.
They cared what happened to Indigo. It was amazing, really.
After he’d sat there for a good ten minutes, he managed to pull himself together and headed back into traffic. He was feeling things he’d never felt before, but one feeling took him completely by surprise.
It was hope.
“Here. Let me get those,” Blue told Anne when he met her in her driveway and took half a dozen boxes out of her hands.
“It’ll take us a few trips, but we’ll get it all. Did you get the big stuff inside?” she asked as the two of them walked across the yard with the first load.
“Yeah. Polly and Toady came and helped me.” Anne started to say something, but Blue interrupted her. “And then I sent them straight home and told them to get ready for bed.”
Anne chuckled. “Spoken like a dad.”
Blue laughed. “Guess I learn quick!”
“I think you do,” Anne said as she picked up a second load, Blue right on her heels. “Everyone was impressed with you tonight. And they thought Indigo was darling.”
“That is her middle name!” Blue said with a laugh.
“True!” When the last of the packages were deposited in the living room, Anne put her hands on her hips and looked around. “Wow. You made quite a haul tonight.”
“How do I thank all of them?” Blue asked, still confounded by everything that had happened. “Nothing I could do would be adequate.”
“I’ll help you. Amber wrote down all the gifts and who gave them. Polly and I can help you write thank-you notes on Saturday. We don’t have to mail them. I’ll take them to the hospital and give them to everybody,” Anne explained.
Blue shook his head. “That’s not enough.”
“Yes. It is. That’s all they would really want in return. Oh, that and to babysit every once in a while,” Anne said with a grin.
Dropping onto the sofa, Blue propped his elbows on his knees and let his face fall into his hands. He sat like that for a few seconds until he felt Anne sit down on the sofa beside him. “This is a strange new world I’ve stepped into. I really don’t know what to think.”
“Well, personally, I think you made a smart decision when you came over Saturday and got me. Smartest thing you could’ve ever done,” she said gently.
“I think you’re right. Listen, about before, I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted and―”
“No. Say no more. That’s in the past. We just move forward, okay?”
Blue nodded. “Okay. And thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Now get some sleep. Looks like somebody else already is!” she said and pointed to the sleeping infant in the baby carrier portion of the car seat.
“Yeah. I didn’t know what ‘sleeping like a baby’ meant until she came along!” Blue said, laughing.
“I’ll be sleeping like a baby on the job tomorrow if I don’t get some sleep. Night, Brent. See you in the morning,” Anne said, rising and heading for the door.
“Can I ask you something?” Blue called after her. When she turned, he asked, “Why do you insist on calling me Brent? Everybody else calls me Blue.”
“Because,” she said. When he questioned her with his eyes, her voice was soft in reply. “Because Blue is a nickname for a high school boy. But Brent is a name for a man.” Without another word, she turned and left, closing the door behind her.
Blue sat for a few minutes, lost in thought. Blue is a nickname for high school boy. But Brent is a name for a man. He glanced at the sleeping baby again.
Okay, Wallace. Time to grow up , he told himself.
After unbuckling Indigo, he carried her to her basket, then readied himself for bed.
Tomorrow was another day, and he had to be at work.
But he’d carry the memory of that evening with him.
It gave him hope and strength. There were others who cared for him and his child, and he was pretty sure whatever came along, he could handle it all simply with the recollection of that one precious night.
Anne got ready for bed and crawled under the covers. As she lay there staring at the ceiling, she thought about the evening.
Blue had been completely overwhelmed. She could see it in his face.
Had he really never had one single soul who cared about him?
That was hard to believe. Surely in all his growing up years there’d been one foster parent or one teacher or someone who’d shown him a little love and compassion.
If they had, it must’ve been so brief that he didn’t even remember it, because he looked like he’d been punched in the gut as everyone smiled and offered him friendship that evening.
She rolled to her side and tried to close her eyes.
When she did, she saw him standing there in his jeans and no shirt, and everything below her waist tingled.
What she’d give to run her hands down that chest, feel those muscles under her palms, press her lips to his and…
Stop it, Anne! He’s not interested in you, and he never will be.
Guys who look like that don’t go for worn-out, middle-aged moms. Then she realized something that made her very sad.
She wasn’t middle aged. She wasn’t even forty.
Then why did she feel like she was sixty?
The years, the work, the loneliness, they were all taking their toll on her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Was it wrong that she wanted a man to hold her close?
Kiss her? Run his hands over her skin? Should she just give up on that idea and go on into true middle age as a mom and nurse and forget about the personal stuff?