Chapter 9 #5
“She’s got a way to go for that, but at least her body’s headed that direction. But I think she’s feeling a little awkward and wondering if people can tell just from looking at her.”
Blue cuddled her a little tighter. “Well, I sure couldn’t. I thought I’d done something horrible to her.”
“No. She’s just growing up and feeling weird about everything.”
“Yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “Your little girl is growing up.”
“ Our little girl is growing up,” she answered, and Blue could tell she was waiting for his response.
“Yeah. Our little girl.” When their lips touched, he could feel that spark, the one they’d always had, and he hoped she could feel it too.
Polly and Toady were a joy to be around.
Yeah, they were kids, and they got into squabbles and acted like little shits from time to time, but as kids went, they were polite, kind, and well-behaved.
“You know, I was wondering… Do you think that, maybe not right away, I dunno, someday, if they want to and if you want them to, and if you want me to, do you think… Could I maybe adopt them?”
The catch in her voice wasn’t what he’d expected, but he understood when she replied, “I think they’d love that, and I know I would.”
Blue sat up and turned on the bedside lamp so Anne could see his face.
If she didn’t know how serious he was about being part of their family, she needed to see his expression so she could understand.
“I don’t know what you’ve got in mind, but I want this to be permanent.
Yeah, it’s kinda soon, and we should probably wait a little while, but I want this to be my life. ”
“You sure about that? Because the BlueWallace I knew drank and womanized and slept until noon. And he needed a shave. And to run the washing machine more often,” she said with a giggle through her tears.
“I’m sure. Positive.” Looking down into those eyes, he felt his whole world gel. This was where he was supposed to be. He was surer of it than anything he’d ever considered.
“Well, with that in mind… Polly’s going to ask you something tomorrow night at dinner. Please don’t turn her down cold. Just think about it, okay? It would mean a lot to her.”
“What?”
“No. I can’t tell you. She has to ask you, and she’s afraid to. She’s afraid you’ll tell her no.”
“What is it?”
“No. I can’t. But just remember what I said.”
He shrugged. “Well, okay.” Turning off the light, he slid back down under the covers and pulled Anne even closer. “I’ll think about it.”
By the time he left work on Wednesday, he’d completely forgotten the conversation. Dinner was eaten, the kitchen cleaned up, and he was about to take out the trash―one of the few downsides of being the new BlueWallace―when he heard Anne whispering somewhere nearby. “Go on. Just ask him.”
“But, Mom, what if he says no? I’ll be so embarrassed!”
“Give him a chance to say no. At least that way you’ll know. If you don’t ask, you’ll always wonder.” There was more whispering, and he heard Anne say once more, “Go on. Ask him.”
He could hear her behind him, and he pretended he’d heard nothing. “Uh, Blue?”
When he spun, he found her standing there, almost wringing her hands. “Yeah?” She didn’t answer, so he asked, “What is it, sweetie?”
“Um, my school… We’re having this… Oh, never mind.
You won’t want to go,” she said and tried to walk away, but Anne caught her and spun her back.
There was an air of defeat surrounding her so thickly that Blue could practically see it.
She closed her eyes, let out a loud sigh, and said, “Okay. There’s this father/daughter dance, it’s like back-to-school thing, and I don’t have a dad, so I know you won’t want to, and I wouldn’t blame you, and it’s stupid, and―”
“Are you asking me to go?” He waited, and she finally nodded, never looking at him. “Because I want to. It sounds like fun.” Inside his head, his brain was shrieking, Oh, holy fuck. Sixty thirteen-year-old girls, all dressed up and wearing corsages. What the hell am I going to do?
But a split-second later, something remarkable happened.
Suddenly, it was like he was seeing Polly for the first time.
She was growing up into a lovely young woman.
Her hair was long and shiny, her skin was clear, and she had a beautiful smile.
Yeah, she was still shaped like a stick, but that was okay.
That just meant it would be longer until he had to beat up potential boyfriends, and that was fine by him.
She was at that strange juncture in a girl’s life, the one in which she wasn’t a little girl anymore but she wasn’t quite a grown woman, awkward and gangly and beautiful all at the same time.
“You’d go? Really? I didn’t think you’d want to.
” Her eyes reddened as though she was going to cry as she stood there, waiting for him to say something else, something that would make her feel better.
“Of course! I was just talking to your mom about…” Anne shook her head.
Uh-oh. Don’t mention her monthly visitor.
Got it. “Um, about how you’re growing up and I need to spend more time with you.
You and Toady both. This family, we all need each other, and I’m getting a late start with the two of you. ”
A big tear rolled down her cheek as she finally looked up at him. “And my friend Crystal… she doesn’t have a dad either. Do you think you could be her dad for the evening too?”
“Crystal with the curly hair and braces?” Polly nodded. “Sure! She’s a cute girl. It won’t hurt me to have two daughters for the evening.”
She almost knocked him down when she darted straight into him and threw her arms around his waist, crying. Blue hugged her tightly and smiled into her hair. “I’ve never really had a dad,” she whispered hoarsely through her tears.
“Well, now you’ve got one. I’m not much of a dad, but I’m trying, Polly. I really am.”
“You’re doing a good job, Blue. You’re the best dad I’ve ever had.”
He looked up just in time to see Anne cover her face with her hands to hide her tears and for the first time, Blue got it. Their relationship had started because he’d needed them, but now they needed him too. A few months earlier, that idea would’ve scared him half to death.
Now it was a great source of pride for him.
There were people who needed him. His family needed him.
My family , his mind whispered, and he could feel his lower lids filling.
BlueWallace, the boy who’d never had anybody, had a family, his own family, people who loved him and cared about him.
It took everything he had to ask, “So when is this dance?”
“Um, tomorrow night,” Polly answered from somewhere around his midsection.
“Tomorrow night! Oh, holy shi…ucks. I guess I’d better make sure the graduation getup is clean and ready to go, huh?”
Anne’s voice was quiet, and he could tell she was trying to regain her composure. “Already done.”
Four hours later, everyone was in bed and sleeping peacefully except for Blue.
As soon as he was sure they were asleep, he slipped out of bed and headed for the back door.
The air was still a little cool, and he sat down on the back porch and looked up at the sky.
Its darkness was vast, but the stars were bright, made all that much brighter by the black background on which they were suspended.
That’s me. Everything in my life was dark, but look how bright they are , he thought as visions of the kids’ faces drifted through his mind―Anne’s too.
Out of the darkness he’d grown up in had come this light, and they’d brought it.
He had a new life, one he never thought he’d have, and he wanted to grab it with both fists and never let go.
He also didn’t want to wear slacks and a tie, but for Polly and Crystal, he would.
For Polly, Indie, Toady, and Anne, he’d do pretty much anything.
As long as they were happy, that was all that mattered to him.
Never in a million years had he ever thought he’d feel that way about anyone.
He knew he felt that way about them because they felt the same about him.
And that was everything.
Blue was out on the floor with one of the techs, looking at new diagnostic equipment the dealership had bought, when his phone rang: Anne. As soon as he’d excused himself and walked ten steps away, he answered. “Hey, babe!”
“Hey yourself. Your clothes are pressed and hanging up on the closet door. I didn’t put them in the closet because―”
“Because they’d get wrinkled.”
“Yes. And on your way home from work, stop by Bows and Begonias and pick up―”
“A florist shop? What―”
“Yes. The girls are expecting corsages, so I ordered two. They’re already paid for. All you have to do is pick them up. I put a gift card on the table for the restaurant so you can take them before you go to the dance and feed them.”
“What? I’m taking both girls to dinner? Who’s going to watch Toady and Indie while―”
“All taken care of, sweetie. Have a good afternoon. Love you. Bye.” And she hung up without giving him a chance to say another word.
Holy hell, how had he gotten roped into all that?
It had him genuinely worried. How was he going to know how to act at something like that?
He’d never been to a high school dance as a student, much less as a dad.
Hell, he’d never even been in a high school gym!
Blue got a huge surprise when he rolled up into the driveway. Anne’s car was there. As soon as he opened the door, he called out, “Anne?”
“Yeah! In here!” she called back from the kitchen.
It smelled as though she was cooking spaghetti sauce, and when he walked into the room, he realized that was exactly what she was up to. “What are you doing home?”
“I wanted to see both of you dressed up and ready for the dance! And I’ll be home with Toady and Indie.”
“I thought I was supposed to take them to dinner.”