13. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Caroline
“ I t’s… quaint,” Gram says, taking in my apartment.
Jude coughs into her hand and Chase wraps his hand around her shoulder warningly. Gram’s version of quaint is smoked salmon instead of caviar. Completely luxurious to most and yet wildly disappointing to her.
“Well, I think I’ve done a nice job with the place,” I say with a smile. I spent all last night and all morning cleaning up and making sure everything was spic and span. Gram only told me last night that she wanted to come up to Charleston and see my apartment. Seeing as it's the first weekend of the new semester, it’s not the worst time to have visitors. The workload will only increase from here on out.
Although, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to get any work done this semester seeing as Jake and I are… well, I don’t know what we are.
Since the first day when I got an incredible amount of gumption to invite him into the bathroom for a quickie, we’ve had sex every day in every secret corner of Trilby. We’ve only almost been caught once by the actual maintenance man when he walked into the broom closet we had tumbled into. Luckily for us, there was a dark recess in the corner we were able to hide until he left us alone, leaving us laughing, flushed, and even hungrier to finish what we’d started.
On the one hand, it’s fantastic. The sex is superb. But on the other hand, I can’t stop thinking about him. What else is new? Unlike the way he was on my mind during Christmas break, however, this is way worse. Before, he had a firm place as someone I had slept with and wouldn’t again.
Now he’s my fuck buddy? My friend with benefits? I’m not even sure what to call him. All of those names feel wrong when in my heart of hearts I know I’m starting to catch feelings for him.
Jake is a gentleman. Always makes sure I come, double checks that anything we’re doing I really want to do, and always says the sweetest things to me in the throes of passion.
I want him in ways that are more complicated than fucking though.
“Tea would be good, Caroline,” Gram says, like I’m an idiot for not offering yet.
“Of course. Everyone, sit,” I say, directing Jude and Chase to the couch. Thank God they agreed to come up with Gram. I need buffer people right now.
Jude follows me into the kitchen. “I’ll help you.”
“Thanks, but I don’t exactly need help boiling water,” I say.
Jude looks over her shoulder and whispers. “This isn’t for you, it’s for me! Gram is disappointed Chase didn’t propose during the holidays and he told her it’s because I want to wait and now she won’t leave me alone.”
I giggle. “Sounds like Gram.”
Jude and I chat softly while the kettle boils. Partway through our conversation, the buzzer for the front door goes off. “Probably Amazon!” I call out. “Leave it!”
It buzzes twice more and I roll my eyes. Amazon is like the fucking FBI. They’ll hunt you down.
I leave Jude to deal with the hot water and go out into the living room, peeking through the curtain down at the front stoop.
My jaw drops when I see it’s not Amazon at all. It’s Jake. And he’s holding a bouquet of flowers. Flowers .
He looks up at the window and gives me a wave. I pull the curtain shut fast.
“What is it, dear?” Gram asks, her eyebrow cocked.
“Um, something I have to sign for!” I squeak, rushing to the front door. “I’ll be back.”
Ignoring any lingering questions, I bound out of the apartment and down the stairs, tearing open the door to face Jake. “What the hell are you doing here?” I hiss.
The friendly smile he had on before immediately fades. “I… is this a bad time?”
I’m such a jerk. The flowers in his hands are the most beautiful arrangement I’ve ever seen. More like a bounty than a bouquet. “My family is here.”
Jake’s eyebrows jump. “Oh! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, I just –” He clears his throat. “I was in town for some business stuff and I saw these and they made me think of you. And I thought if you were free, I could take you out. But you’re not, which is fine, since I showed up out of the blue. I mean, who does that? I should have texted first.”
I can’t help but smile. The poor guy sounds like he rehearsed this in the car and now is finding flaws in his speech.
“So anyway –”
“What’s this about?” Gram’s voice razors into my ear from behind me.
“Gram!” I say, turning around with a wild smile on my face. “I wish you had stayed upstairs.” I glance back at Jake and then at Gram. “I was having flowers delivered for you!”
I grab the bouquet out of Jake’s hands and shove it toward Gram. I’m totally going to hell for this.
“Why?” she asks in such a neutral tone it’s hard not to think she has an agenda.
“Just to thank you for visiting me! Now –”
Gram pushes me out of the way, lifting her chin. “Did she tip you, young man?”
“Uh –” Jake looks at me for help but I’m at a loss. “I’m a friend of Caroline’s. I was just…” He swallows. “Doing her a favor.”
I feel like the biggest jerk in the world for taking those flowers and making him buy into my lie.
Gram smiles. “That was very kind of you…?”
“Jake.”
“ Jake . You go to school with Caroline?”
He nods. “I do.”
“Well, that’s wonderful. Why don’t you join us for some tea upstairs?”
Jake looks at me with wide eyes.
“No, I think Jake probably has some business to take care of. You know, he has a family business too and –”
Gram silences me with the cut of her hand through the air. “Nonsense. All the more reason that he needs a moment of respite. Tea. Upstairs.” She turns without another word, climbing the steps with the bundle of flowers in her arms.
Jake and I stare at each other for a long moment. “I get the feeling that if I leave now your Gram might put a hit out on me.”
“Yes, you’d be right about that,” I grimace. “Sorry about… well, everything. Come on in.” I hold the door open for him which earns me a polite country boy nod that makes my legs weak. Hard not to remember just yesterday he was undoing me with his fingers underneath the back staircase of Trilby.
We head upstairs and are immediately greeted by Jude who is smiling like the cat who ate the canary. “I’ve heard about you! Jake, right?”
I glare at her over Jake’s shoulder.
“Yes, you got that right. You’re Jude, I take it? I’ve heard about you too.”
She clutches her heart like it’s the biggest honor in the world. “Good things, I hope.”
Jake grins. “Very good.”
Chase comes up next, sizing Jake up in his big brother way. I want to incinerate myself. They shake hands and exchange words in a gentlemanly sort of way before Gram waves Jake over to take a seat. He gives me a timid smile as he follows her instruction and I just know that I am in for a very long afternoon.
“I’ve always wondered why goats have pupils like that,” Jude says, leaning forward with her near-empty teacup in her hands. “You know, like rectangular shaped almost.”
Jake smiles at Jude. “Slit-type pupil is the technical name.” He’s been holding court this whole time, fielding questions about his business and life as if this is an interview. Or like I’m bringing him home to meet my family for the first time. “Since goats are prey animals, it helps with their peripherals. And when they bend down to eat, they can keep their eye level with the horizon to watch out for predators.”
“Wow, that’s fascinating.”
“I thought you were in the tomato business,” Chase says, resting his hand on the back of the couch behind Jude.
Jake shrugs. “Tomatoes are my job but goats are my hobby. Or one of them at least.”
“Life on the farm must be very interesting,” Gram says. From her tone, I can’t gather if this is a simple observation or a slight.
Jake, thankfully, doesn’t take offense to it. “It is. And it’s a family affair. I get to spend my time working with my brothers. It’s a, well, it’s a blessing.”
She smiles, but her eyes are dull. “I’m sure it is.” Then, she looks at me. “Caroline, I think we’re quite finished with tea.”
“Great,” I say with half a mind just to stare at her like she’s not a woman who can snap her fingers and watch the world tumble to the ground at her feet. I get up and start to collect the cups.
“Let me help with that,” Jake says, getting to his feet.
“I’ve got it, please, you’re a guest,” I utter quietly.
We both reach for Gram’s cup, our fingers brushing one another’s. I recoil nervously, giving him a soft smile.
“I insist,” he says.
My heart flutters. Gram’s cool gaze immediately dampens the feeling.
Jake and I go into the kitchen with the cups. The flowers sit in a vase on the counter. “I’m sorry about all this,” I whisper.
“It’s okay, it’s good actually. They’re such nice people,” Jake says with a smile.
I’m glad he hasn’t been able to sense Gram’s distance with him. Her elitism was built on the backs of the working class. Though Jake’s in the same tax bracket, she still sees people who dig in the dirt as something less than her.
I turn on the sink faucet and begin rinsing the delicate teacups. Jake comes up beside me, a safe enough distance away that if someone walked in, they wouldn’t suspect anything was happening other than quiet conversation. “I’d still like to take you on a date if you’d let me, Caroline.”
“Oh gosh,” I say, laughing. My mind is all turned around from the events of the past hour, I’m not even sure what to say.
“I’m serious,” he says. “Would you stop for a moment and look at me?”
I take a deep breath and finally look into his blue eyes. They are nourishing. Like water. They fill my heart in a way I can’t seem to describe.
“I want to take you out,” he says firmly. “Because I can’t do the halfway thing. I can’t be the person you run to in secret. And I can’t really do the not-at-all thing either. I know it’s what we agreed to, but Monday, when I thought you wanted nothing to do with me…” Jake juts his chin forward proudly. “I want you to give me a shot.”
I open my mouth to speak.
“And screw the program. You know? We can be adults. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t –” Jake blushes. “Sorry, I interrupted you.”
Whatever I was going to say before completely disappears. All I can do is smile. I touch his cheek softly, the bristles of his beard hair scraping my palm. I rise onto my tiptoes and kiss his other cheek. “Okay. You can take me out.”
Jake smiles in relief, eyes traveling to the heavens with some sort of gratitude. “Great. Great . Well, then, I’ll get out of your hair now and be in touch and we’ll figure out a time for just us, then, okay?”
I’d like to tell him not to go, but it’s for the best. Jake makes his exit, bidding everyone a friendly farewell. A handshake to Chase, a hug to Jude, and a near bow to Gram which makes me have to stifle a laugh. As soon as he’s out the door, I go to the window to watch him go. He nearly dances down the front stairs, walking off toward his pickup truck, smiling as he checks there are no cars coming so he can cross the street.
“Well, bless his heart,” Gram says with a light laugh.
My blood runs cold. Everyone in the Western hemisphere knows that “bless his heart” spoken by an elderly Southern woman is never a good thing.
“What makes you say that, Gram?” Jude asks.
We all look at Gram as she settles into her chair, folding her hands at her stomach. “Well, it’s very clear to me that he has stars in his eyes for you, Caroline. And it’s very sweet, but misguided. Don’t you think?”
Everyone looks at me, a pinpoint spotlight centered over my head. Gram doesn’t have to say much to say a lot. And her observation that Jake likes me is couched with judgment. That he is not worthy of someone like me. Because he is a country boy. Because he has dirt under his nails. Because he drives a pickup truck.
I want to scream at her for suggesting such things. That attitude is the whole reason Jake hated me in the first place. I was intolerant and disrespectful. Now I understand. But I shouldn’t have had to. Because he’s a person. An amazing person. With an enormous heart.
Still, I have no power here with her. I nod slowly. “Don’t worry. He’d never try anything unless I wanted him to.”
I leave it at that. It’s not a lie, at least not outright.
What Gram doesn’t know and what Chase and Jude both seem to know from their clandestine glances is that I want him to. I want Jake to try everything.