20. ENZO
20
ENZO
It’s for the best, I try and remind myself.
Quinn going back to America is a devastating blow, but I’m trying to make my peace with it.
When she told me, the shock was enough to make me go back into my shell, showing no emotion. My reaction had hurt her, of course. I could see it in her eyes. But what good would it have done if I had reacted any other way?
It would have made our goodbye even more painful than it was.
If things were different, I would have stopped her, claimed her in front of everyone who dared to point fingers at her character, and we could have made it.
But as a father, my priority had to be my children.
Luciana.
I go looking for her. She’d left abruptly during our conversation, and I knew she sensed something was up between us. Her opinion mattered most to me out of all my children, and I knew I had to do some damage control before she ended up hearing something I didn’t want her to.
She’s standing by the open bar, helping herself to a drink when I intercept.
“Care for some company?”
“If it’s you, always.” She smiles.
“About earlier…”
“Oh, you mean the whole thing with Quinn?” Her eyes burn with curiosity. “Yeah, that was a little weird. I felt like I was about to get caught in a crossfire.”
“We weren’t arguing or anything,” I assure her, “It was just… tying up some loose ends.”
“Loose ends?” She scrunches up her nose. “About business, you mean?”
I thought this would be easier.
“Business, yes. Did you get a chance to speak to Alessio?”
She shakes her head. “I hardly see him around. You know how he is, always busy with his own life.”
So, Luciana doesn’t have a clue about Quinn and me. I know that I have to tell her sooner or later, but for now I choose to wait.
“When do you plan on flying back to the US?”
“In a few weeks. I’m trying to spend as much time with you guys as I can before I go.”
“You know, I’m not sure if Quinn told you about her story, but she took a risk in her career, too. She gave up a well-paying job to follow her dreams.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Luciana smiles. “Maybe I should have asked her for some advice about my plans about starting a bakery.”
“Maybe. Have you thought about doing that here in Europe instead of the US? I could help you a lot better if you were nearby.”
“I want to do it on my own, Dad,” she says, “I know you don’t want me living so far away, but it’s what is for the best for me. I’ll never grow if keep relying on you to get me places.”
“Is it because you’re seeing someone? In the States, that is.”
She looks at me, surprised, and then bursts out laughing.
“No, Dad. I don’t want to stay back because of some boy. You know me better than that.”
“Right, I was just curious. This is your time to date and meet new people.”
The word ‘ date’ reminds me of Quinn again. At this point, there was very little that didn’t.
What we had together wasn’t really ‘dating,’ but it didn’t stop me from falling for her.
“I’m not interested in that sort of stuff right now. Not for me.”
“Good.” With how much of a wild child Alessio turned out, it’s comforting to know at least my daughter isn’t like that.
“It’s just too distracting. Right now, I want to focus on myself.” She bites down on her lip, “Maybe when I’m older, I’ll start wanting that sort of companionship. You and mom set too high of a standard for what relationships can look like, and I’m afraid no one will fit the bill.”
“That’s not true. Sometimes the right person walks into your life when you least expect it.”
Like clockwork, my mind trails over to Quinn again.
And sometimes, we let them walk away from us without even putting up a fight.
My jaw tightens, and Luciana notices the subtle shift. “What about you? It’s been a while since…well, since Mom passed. Have you seen anyone since?”
“Luciana, it’s a bit strange that you’re asking your dad about his love life.”
“Oh, come on, Dad.” She playfully slaps my arm. “I’m not a kid anymore, and I think it’s okay for us to have this conversation. Didn’t Mom always say we should treat our parents like they’re our best friends?”
She’s staring at me now, and I think she knows I’m hiding something.
“Do we really need to discuss this?”
“You’re practically blushing.” She laughs. “There’s someone in your life that you’re not telling me about, right? You’re not a very good liar, Dad.”
“It’s more complicated than that.” I avoid her gaze. “At my age, things usually are.”
“Well, then you’re in luck. My friends always come to me with their relationship problems. I seem to be great at solving them, despite not being in one myself. So, try me.”
If there’s one thing Luciana has taken from her mother, it’s her obstinance. She could be quite insistent when there was something she wanted to know.
“I’m not really sure how to even start.”
“Okay, let’s start from the beginning then. Since Mom passed, have you seen any women at all?” she asks. “It’s okay if you have, you know. It’s been many years now, and none of us will hold that against you. If anything, Mom would have wanted you to go out and meet people.”
“For the longest time, there was no one.” I sigh. “No one really caught my interest enough for me to ask them out.”
“Right, and then there was someone who did?” She raises her eyebrow. “That’s what I’m getting, even though you’re being really cryptic.”
“She did a little more than just catch my interest,” I mutter.
Quinn had somehow done the impossible. She had captured a heart I thought would never feel again.
“Oh, wow.” Luciana’s eyes light up.
“I don’t think we should talk about this.” Telling her myself is too difficult. Maybe I just need to wait until she hears from the others. It’s not like my story with Quinn had a happy ending anyway.
“Dad, seriously?” She glares. “Just when the story started to get good, you pull the plug? Don’t leave me hanging like that.”
“Luciana, it’s not the fairy tale you’re imagining in your head. I don’t even know how you’ll react—”
“You’re having an affair with a married woman?”
“What? Of course not. That’s just ridiculous.”
“Then what is it? I’m sure it can’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be.”
“It’s Quinn,” I blurt out, closing my eyes.
I expect her to explode, telling me what the hell I am doing with someone so close to her own age. But to my surprise, she smiles.
“Quinn? Like the lifestyle influencer Quinn?” Her face lights up. “Oh my god. This explains why you always act so strange around her. But isn’t she leaving?”
“She is.”
“And?” She throws her hands in the air. “Why aren’t you stopping her?”
“Luciana, you’re not mad about this?” This was the last thing I expected her to say.
“Why on earth would I be mad?” She chuckles. “I’m not the dating police. You’re allowed to pursue other adults, you know.”
Seeing her put it into perspective for me makes me feel silly for fearing her reaction all this time.
“I didn’t want to keep it from you. I suspect you’ll hear about it from Alessio soon enough, anyway. But at least now I can stop feeling guilty about it.”
“Dad, you’re worrying me.” She frowns. “Who told you that you have to be this priestly figure who can’t even date without being guilty? It’s not like you’ve done anything wrong.”
“It’s not about being priestly. But more so about being a good father. My children come before me, and I don’t want to do anything that embarrasses them.”
She puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Your children are old enough to understand. Is this why you didn’t stop her from leaving?”
I nod, not knowing what else to say. Letting Quinn down is a regret that’s going to stay with me for a long time.
“Dad…” Luciana’s voice is pained. “What are you doing? You know Mom would have been so mad if she was here.”
I dismiss her comment with a shrug.
“I’m serious. You know she would want you happy, above all.”
“I think I just need to throw myself back into my work. Like you said, relationships are too distracting anyway.”
She shakes her head. “For me? Yes. But you’ve already established your career, you have kids. What you need more than anything right now is a companion.” She sighs. “And as you said, no one else that came before Quinn even made you want to pursue things, so why would you let someone as rare as that walk away?”
I consider her words for a moment.
“Dad, do you love her?”
“Luciana, please, that’s—”
“It’s a yes or no question, Dad. I know you wouldn’t be this distraught if it was just someone you casually liked. So, answer it.”
“If I say no…” I inhale a deep breath. “That would be a lie.”
Luciana gasps and wraps me into a hug. “Then you’re making a mistake by wasting your time talking to me. You should be going after her.”
“It’s not so easy. She’s leaving anyway. I think I should keep my feelings to myself.” I force a thick swallow.
“And then what? Live with the regret of letting someone walk away forever?” she chides. “I think that would be incredibly unfair to the both of you.”
“It’s for the best.”
“You always told us that we should fight for the things we want,” she reminds me. “Now it’s time I ask you to do the same. If she’s really that special to you, you should fight for the chance to be with her.”
As she speaks, I catch of glimpse of Valentina. She has the same determination in her eyes.
“When did you get so smart and grown up?” I tuck away a piece of her hair behind her ear, “You’re sounding more like your mom each day.”
“As mom would say, a life full of what-ifs is not a life lived…”
I open my mouth to respond, but the words dissolve into the thickening air as the sharp crackle of my radio cuts through the moment.
Devina's voice, usually so calm and composed, is laced with panic. "Enzo, you need to get here now! One of the vineyards—it's on fire! We’re fighting to put it out, but you need to get here now."
I get to my feet immediately.
"Stay inside, Luciana," I bark out, my voice tinged with a father's fear. "Find Valentino, make sure everyone's safe."
“What, no? Let me come with you.” Luciana tries to follow me out.
“You are to do as you’re told,” I shout, the urgency in my voice brooking no argument.
Alessio emerges, looking panicked. “Dad, I just heard…”
"Call the fire department!" I yell over at him, and he’s already on his phone, his fingers flying over the screen. “I’m heading there now.”
“I’m coming with you.”
Alessio follows me out to the carts, and we both get on. The blood is rushing through my ears, making everything but the road ahead of me a dizzying blur.
The vineyard is all I have for my family. I cannot let anything happen to it.