16. Stephanie
STEPHANIE
“It’s over, Oliver.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the call. “What exactly do you mean by that?” Oliver Norcross asked.
“I mean I don’t want to do it anymore,” Stephanie said, steeling herself. She had known this would be hard. She was ready for it. “I don’t want to work with you on keeping Elijah out of trouble anymore. I’m ending my involvement in that, effective immediately.”
“And what about the discussions we had about adding to your loan?” he said. “You don’t still want the bonus I can offer you? I can make it worth your while to do this for me, Stephanie. You know I can.”
“I know you can.” She drew a breath. “No, I don’t want that anymore.”
“Is it the amount? I can offer more, if that’s the issue.” He chuckled. “I didn’t expect you to be a negotiator this early, I must say."
“It isn’t the money,” she said. “In fact, I don’t want the money anymore. Not any of it. Not even the original loan we agreed on.”
It was the best way—the only way—she could think of to settle her conscience. What she had done to Elijah was a betrayal, but she still had time to erase it. She could refuse to benefit from it, and then it would be as if it had never happened.
“You don’t mean that,” Oliver said.
“No,” Stephanie countered. “I really do mean it. I’m grateful to you for making me the offer, but I just don’t think I’m comfortable with my company succeeding because of something like this. I want to get there on my own merit.”
“I’ve told you that this is the way it works in business,” Oliver said.
He sounded exasperated. “I have something you need. You have something I want. We exchange. It’s that simple.
You’re making it harder than it has to be with all this waffling around.
You held up your end of the bargain. Even if you do want the arrangement to be over, you’re entitled to what we originally agreed on, and I’m not the kind of man to back out of an agreement. ”
“I’m sure you’re not,” Stephanie said. “But I’m just not going to accept payment. I’ve made up my mind. I’m finished with the whole thing, and I have every intention of walking away from it right now.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Do you mind telling me what changed?” he asked at last.
“I did,” she told him. It was the best explanation she could offer.
“So I’ve been thinking,” Elijah said.
They were in the car on their way to a jazz club outside of town, a place he had promised her they’d have no chance of being recognized.
Stephanie was optimistic about that, but she was also thrilled just to be in the car with him.
She hadn’t seen him since the dinner at his house two days ago.
The last time they’d been this close to one another, she had been naked in his bed.
It was impossible, sitting here with him, not to imagine this night going the same way. And this time, because she had formally cut ties with his father, she would finally be able to really enjoy it.
No more lies. At last, things between us are exactly what they appear to be.
“What have you been thinking?” she asked him.
“We’ve been out, what, six times now?”
“Or seven.” She grinned at the recurring joke, and he laughed too.
“I would never have thought I would be ready for this so soon,” he said. “But being with you… I don’t want to see anyone else.”
“No,” she said softly. “I don’t either.”
“So I was thinking… well, I was thinking I would just tell you that I plan to be exclusive,” he said. “I’m not asking you for anything. You should do whatever you want. But for me… I’m not going to be seeing anybody else.”
“No, I feel the same way,” she said quickly, not wanting to leave him hanging.
He hadn’t asked her, but he must be wondering if there was going to be reciprocity here, and she didn’t want to make him anxious.
He had taken a risk for her. “I haven’t been seeing anyone else since I met you—well, since before that, if I’m being totally transparent.
” She chuckled. “It’s been a while. But the point is, I have no interest in dating anybody else.
You’re the only person I’m seeing, and I’m happy to make that official.
” Her heart fluttered at the thought of it.
She was his, and he was hers. When all this had started, she would never have dreamed it would lead them here. But now, here they were.
“It’s hard to believe someone as beautiful and charming as you wasn’t getting dates,” he commented, pulling into a parking spot outside the club. “I think you’re underselling it.”
“No, I’m not,” she said, her cheeks warming at the compliments. “But I wasn’t trying to get dates. That was probably a big part of it. I promised myself I wasn’t going to see anybody until my company took off, because it would be too big a distraction.”
“And now?”
She laughed. “I met someone I couldn’t say no to. And believe me, I tried.”
“Oh, I know you did. I’ve heard plenty of refusals from you. I’m still in awe that you changed your mind. I guess luck was on my side.”
The club was small, as Elijah had promised it would be. There was a cover charge, which he paid for both of them, although Stephanie offered to pay her own way and protested lightly when he said no. “You can’t go on paying for everything every time we go out.”
“Honestly, I’m just so happy to hear you talking about every time we go out,” he said. “Like there are going to be so many more times.”
“I’m hoping there will be.”
“I’m sure there will. Here, come over here.” He led her to a table at the front of the room, and they sat down and ordered drinks from a passing server.
The musicians took the stage and began to play.
The rhythm of the music was fast and exciting, and Stephanie immediately got caught up in it.
Every time she looked over at Elijah, she saw that he was moving to the rhythm as well, as if the two of them were riding the same wave. It was oddly intimate and thrilling.
The evening passed in a blur, but one moment stood out sharp as glass. It etched itself on Stephanie’s mind, and she knew she would never forget it.
As one of the songs drew to a close and the final notes lingered in the air, Elijah reached across the table for her hand. He pulled her across the table and kissed her—in full view of everyone at the club.
No one commented on it. No one said anything. It wasn’t remarkable, on the surface. There were people kissing all around them.
But all Stephanie could think about as he let her go was the photograph that had been taken of the two of them. This club was supposed to be relatively private, but you could never be sure that your picture wasn’t going to be taken.
He had kissed her anyway.
He had kissed her knowing that it might be recorded and reported on, that people might speculate about it, that it might become a story.
He had kissed her knowing that if it went public, people would realize he was still seeing the same woman he had been seeing the last time his picture had been taken.
They would realize, potentially, that it was turning into something serious.
He hadn’t minded.
And Stephanie made up her mind in that moment that she didn’t mind either.
Let people say anything they wanted to say. She was going to enjoy every minute with Elijah Norcross.
“Should I drop you off at your house?” Elijah asked.
She understood what he was asking, and hesitated for only a moment. “Why don’t we both go to my house?”
“Yeah?”
“I’d like you to see my place.” She grinned. “I’d like to give you a tour.”
The air in the car was thick with tension for the rest of the drive. They hardly spoke. She gave him the directions to get to her house—he’d been there before, of course, but only on foot, and besides, she sensed that his thoughts might be as murky and distracted as hers were.
I hope they are, anyway. I hope his mind is whirling. I hope I’m not the only one feeling like all the nerves in my body are singing.
It seemed to take forever to get back to her condo. At the same time, though, no time passed at all before they were getting out of the car. Stephanie fumbled in her purse for her keys.
Elijah, apparently, didn’t want to wait.
He pulled her into the shadows at the side of the building and pressed her back up to the wall, his hands braced on either side of her. “You’ve been making me crazy all evening,” he breathed into her ear.
Stephanie felt like she was melting. “What were you going to do if I didn’t ask you back here?”
“Combust.” He leaned closer, so that his forehead was touching hers. Their bodies were so close now, Stephanie felt like her breath was rising and falling in unison with his.
“Don’t you think we should go inside?”
“I’ve been thinking about this the whole way home,” he said, and kissed her.
It was deep and powerful. Intoxicating. She could ride away on a kiss like that.
She breathed in the musky scent of him and wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, drawing him closer to her.
Deeper. He hummed pleasurably into her mouth, and for a moment Stephanie all but forgot she was human.
All that mattered was this. The sensations zinging through her body. The way her instincts drove her closer and closer to him, making her feel as though she couldn’t tear herself away. The rising tide of her need for more, more, more…
She pulled back, pushing him away from her at the same time.
He stared at her as though she was the most fascinating creature in the world.
“Inside,” she breathed. “I have neighbors.”
He nodded.
She watched his hands form fists and then release as she found her keys. She unlocked the front door, let them in, pushed it shut behind her?—
Immediately, he was on her again, his hands and his mouth exploring every inch he could reach.
This time, she didn’t push him away.
It was hours later when she awoke on the living room floor, having fallen asleep after the lovemaking.
Elijah was still sleeping beside her, one heavy arm draped over her body.
She didn’t try to move it—she had no desire to get away from him.
Instead, she just lay there, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.
She’d been over her guilt. She really had.
But now, alone in this quiet hour, it was trying to claw its way back into her heart.
She had lied to him. Her lies were the foundation of everything that existed between them. This whole beautiful night had been built on that deception.
Let it go. You did the right thing. You didn’t accept Oliver’s money. If you had taken it, those lies would matter, but because you didn’t, it’s as if it never happened.
She wanted to believe that. She wanted it to be the truth.
But it was as if her secrets had left something hollow in the pit of her stomach—something she was having a hard time forgetting about.
She inhaled slowly, closed her eyes, and rolled onto her side so that her face was level with Elijah’s chest. He was so powerful. So strong. But he’d let her see the insecurities that plagued him.
He can never know that it was his father interfering in his life that brought us together. It would cause him too much pain to know that.
Eventually, her feelings of guilt would fade. She was sure of that.
Until they did, she would go on carrying them. She could manage that.
After all, if holding onto a little guilt allowed her to have moments like this one, that was a price she was willing to pay.