Chapter Six
“I gather we’re now committed to this course of insanity?” Angie asked, her voice satisfyingly breathless.
Lucius rolled onto his side, facing her. “So it would seem.”
Unable to help himself, he traced the length of her neck. Unbelievable how much her skin felt like silk. He glided his fingertips across the hollow at the joining of neck and throat and farther, to the gentle curve of her breast. She shivered at the touch, and with their bodies still intimately linked he could feel the abrupt kick to her heart rate. Instead of being amused by her reaction, it humbled him. His touch alone could do that. And he had a sneaking suspicion her touch alone affected him the exact same way.
Aw, hell. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Sure, he’d hoped for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. But this felt like more than that. This felt dangerous. Serious. It was time to adjust course, because going down this road led straight to disaster, particularly when Angie had been crystal clear about her disinterest—hell, her distaste—for anything too personal. And after Lisa… Well, he knew better than to look for something that didn’t exist.
And yet, still he wanted Angie. Still, he touched. And touching, possessed. She didn’t hesitate when he turned to her, gathered her in. Her initial acquiescence became demand, her demand an intriguing combination of uncertainty and aggression. And something else. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Then it hit him. Infuriated, challenged, defied him. Reticence. She was holding back, refusing to give herself fully to him, and the knowledge drove him wild.
“Look at me,” he demanded. He speared his fingers into the thick tumble of her hair, anchoring her so she had no choice but to meet his gaze. “I want you to see who you’re in bed with.”
A laugh broke from her, a heartbreaking sound. “I see you. I’ve always seen you.”
“You’re holding back and I won’t have it. I’m not Moretti. I’m not a one-night stand. I’m not some convenient body in the dark you can use for a night’s worth of temporary pleasure and then toss aside come morning.”
“I know you’re not. I’ve never—” She shook her head, fighting him. “I don’t do one-night stands.”
He throttled back, allowed his voice to go low and soothing. “Then trust me. Let go. I won’t hurt you. I swear I won’t.”
Her eyes sheened with tears and one escaped, sliding down her temple to lose its way in her hair. “You don’t understand. I don’t think I can. I don’t know how.”
“Don’t think. Just feel.”
He slowed the pace, drew out each caress, each kiss. Lingered and wallowed until he felt the slow give of her body. He explored her, the uncharted territory as well as the familiar, delighting in the sleek and toned, tracing from subtle curve to quiet valley. He still sensed a certain resistance, but inch by inch he soothed and encroached his way through her barriers, not giving her time for defense or withdrawal. And all the while he talked to her, a gentle, soothing whisper of words that eased him closer and closer to the true heart of the woman he held.
The instant the last bastion fell, he joined their bodies, one to the other, taking her in every sense of the word, penetrating with one devastating stroke. Her cry of surrender shattered the air and the moment she let go was also the moment she fully awoke. He didn’t understand how or why. He didn’t understand what past issues had caused such caution, although he swore to himself that he would. He simply matched her. If he’d thought what had come before had been life altering, it bore no comparison to what they now shared. He could only ride the wave with her, fighting to stay ahead of the tumble, to draw out the experience to its ultimate degree. To show her the possible. The impossible. The transcendent.
He had no idea whether they slept afterward. More likely, passed out. When consciousness returned, he found them so tangled together he suspected it would take a herculean effort to separate male from female. She stirred, though she made no attempt to shift away from him or begin the untangling process. He hoped she’d lost the ability to raise any further barricades against him.
“Why?” she asked simply.
“I wanted all of you,” he replied just as simply. “I wanted more than you would have given Moretti or any other man.”
She shifted, just enough to put a whisper of cool air between them. “And did you give me more than you gave Lisa or any other woman?”
He didn’t even attempt to lie. “Yes.” He cupped her cheek—heaven help him, but she had skin like velvet—and leaned in for a slow, thorough kiss. “I didn’t plan to. But it only seemed fair, all things considered.”
He caught it then, that flash of vulnerability, secrets dimming her eyes to a sunset aquamarine. “I’ve never found sex fair or safe. I’m not sure it can be.”
Ah, finally. He’d gotten to the root of the matter. “I don’t disagree, though I’d love to be proved wrong.” He paused a beat. “Who was he, Angie?”
Her eyes swept closed in momentary resistance before she looked at him again. One more small surrender. “His name was…is…Ryan. We lived together for a while. We planned to marry.”
“And who was she?” Because he didn’t doubt for one tiny minute that another woman came between them.
“My best friend, Britt,” she confessed. He could hear the effort it took to keep her voice level and dispassionate. “I found them in bed together.”
Ah. Which must have struck at the very core of her womanhood. Made her question everything about herself, particularly her own sexuality. Not that she should have any concerns on that front. He released his breath in a long sigh, the similarities between her situation and his resonating more keenly than he’d have liked. “We are a pair, aren’t we? Both betrayed. Neither willing to trust. Maybe we can work together to get past all that, assuming we can continue to trust each other.”
For some reason his comment caused her to stiffen, a hint of alarm to flicker across her expression. “Lucius—”
“Don’t take it personally, Angie. In fact, you’re one of the few people I do trust. At least, as much as I trust anyone. You. Geoff. My dad.” His mouth twisted when he realized she was the only one left of those he’d named. “Did you ever meet Geoff?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“He was a lot like my dad. Just…” He moved his shoulders in a shrug. “Decent, you know? Down to his bones decent, like Dad. I guess that quality allowed people to take advantage of them both. Unlike me, they weren’t suspicious enough. They regarded everyone as a potential friend instead of trying to figure out the angles, figure out what the other person wanted.”
“But you always try and figure out the angles. You look for the underlying motivation.”
“Every damn time,” he confirmed. “My father lost his business because he trusted his business partner. Was blind to Lynley’s agenda.”
Her gaze traced his face, no doubt looking for a soft place to land. She wouldn’t find it. “I heard Lynley took the company from your father.”
“The betrayal gutted my father. He wasn’t the same man afterward.” Lucius swallowed past the acid eroding his throat. “He wasn’t bitter like me, nor vengeful. He was…confused and bewildered. And later, hurt beyond measure. After that, he just gave up, let the betrayal kill him.”
“They say…” She pulled away from him another inch or two, more than just a whisper this time. “They say you went after Lynley. Took him and his company down. That’s how you acquired the nickname Devil Devlin.”
He didn’t pull his punches. “Guilty as charged. And I’d do it again without hesitation.”
“And Lisa?” She withdrew a little farther, widening the breach between them until he could see the beginnings of a chasm. “Did she betray you?”
Had she? He considered, surprised to discover that she hadn’t. He’d always known what she wanted. Hell, it hadn’t been a secret. “Lisa wanted marriage,” he replied slowly. “She didn’t particularly care who she married, so long as he possessed a healthy bank account. I was her first choice, but only because I had more money than Geoff. Once she realized I wouldn’t marry her, she moved on.”
“To Geoff.” A frown darkened Angie’s expression. “I imagine you felt quite protective toward him. After all, he was your best friend and a lot like your father. Do you think on some level you were determined to save him, especially since you couldn’t save your father?”
Lucius had considered the possibility when Lisa first went after Geoff. He suspected it also played a big part in that final night he’d spent with her, and his willingness to bed her one last time. Even though he knew it risked his friendship with Geoff, he’d taken that risk in order to reveal her true nature once and for all. “I tried to get Geoff to see Lisa for what she was. Not that it did any good. In the end it was his choice, his life, and I had to respect that.”
“At some point would you have taken her down, too?”
And there it was, the true motivation behind Angie’s questions. She feared his ruthlessness, and not without good cause. “No, sweetheart. I never would have touched Lisa, not once she married Geoff.” He could tell his blunt, starkly honest response eased her concerns.
“Because you still loved her?”
Unable to help himself, he escaped the bed and put some distance between them. For some reason the question disturbed him, ripped a scab off a wound only half-healed. And then it hit him and he closed his eyes.
“Lucius?” His name contained a hint of uncertainty. “What is it?”
He turned around. Faced her. Found it the height of irony that he stood before her, stripped naked in every sense of the word. “I didn’t love Lisa. I loved Geoff. He was my brother in all but blood. He’s the reason I’d never have taken her down. Out of respect for him, for what he hoped to build with her.” He shook his head, gutted. “It doesn’t make any difference, anyway. They’re all gone now. My dad. Geoff. Lisa.”
“Everyone you loved.” He closed his eyes to hold at bay the compassion he read in her voice and expression, rejecting it. “There’s still one more person, Lucius. There’s Mikey.” Urgency raced through her words, hammered at him. “He needs you. He needs your love.”
And perhaps that bothered him most of all. “I’m not sure I’m capable of love anymore.” He didn’t give her time to debate the issue. He checked the clock by his bedside table. “It’s getting late. I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. I’m going to call for a meal to be brought up. Your choice whether they serve it while you’re still naked.”
The comment accomplished just what he hoped. It served to catapult Angie out of bed. She hastened around the room, gathering up her clothing. Watching, he had the almost-overpowering urge to snatch all that gorgeous nudity back into his arms and return her to his bed. To make love to her all over again, long into the night, until he’d found a way to sate the desire that continued to infect him, that simmered through his veins and pooled in his loins and demanded he take. Possess. Stamp repeatedly with his possession.
“Do you mind if I grab a quick shower?” she asked, clutching her bundle of clothing to her chest.
He fought to make sense of her words. But all he could see were those legs. That pearly skin. The tumble of soft curls that haloed her lovely face. Those huge, haunting aquamarine eyes. Silently swearing, Lucius forced his brain into gear, dissected her words one by one and shoved out a response.
“Go ahead.”
She turned, presenting him with that perfect, round backside. If she hadn’t been moving at such a swift clip, he would have lunged for her. Yanked her back into his arms and his bed and taken her in a helpless frenzy of need.
Mikey. Remember Mikey. The boy had to come first and foremost. He was the only reason Lucius had taken Angie to his bed. Was considering marrying her and making her an intimate part of his life. He must never forget that. Geoff’s son came first. The side benefits of marrying Angie were just that. Side benefits. A tasty appetizer to enjoy, but not the main meal. He couldn’t allow himself to become distracted by a pert bottom, stunning legs, an elegant face or wary, vulnerable eyes. Eyes that made him want to wrap her up in an endless embrace and protect her against…
Against what?
Himself, he realized. Against using her. Hurting her. Causing her the sort of pain Britt and Ryan had. The sort of pain Lynley had caused his father. The sort of pain, ultimately, Lisa would have caused Geoff simply because it wasn’t in her nature to remain faithful to any one person. He needed to remain dispassionate and focused on Mikey, to the exclusion of everything—and everyone—else.
And yet, still he wanted. Yearned. Fought to control what shouldn’t matter…but did.
Blistering the air with his frustration, Lucius swiftly dressed, then placed their dinner order. He made a beeline for the living room, aware if he didn’t get the hell out of the bedroom—and now—neither of them would leave anytime soon. How was it possible that something so simple had taken such an unfortunate turn?
When he’d first considered using the Pretorius Program to help him find a wife, he’d been determined that his marriage would be one of pure convenience for both parties. That any sexual involvement would remain physical, uncomplicated by any sort of emotional connection—exactly what Angie wanted, which should have made it perfect for them both. In fact, that particular requirement had been one of the most difficult to fulfill, according to the program’s designer. For some reason, women entering the marital estate wanted love, something he couldn’t and wouldn’t offer.
Even when Angie’s name had been raised, he’d experienced a swift wash of relief. He’d marry someone he respected, with whom he had a comfortable relationship. A woman he trusted. Someone he wanted sexually and who, based on her response to their kiss after the business dinner with Moretti, wanted Lucius, but without the added obstacle of messy emotional demands, a prerequisite that worked well for them both.
But something had happened when he took Angie to bed. Something he didn’t want to examine too closely. Something he didn’t dare analyze. Ever. All he knew was that he’d never experienced such perfection with any other woman. Lisa, with whom he’d enjoyed a very passionate, energetic sex life, paled in comparison. And he knew why.
Once he broke through her restraint and Angie gave herself to him, she gave everything, unstintingly, just as he’d demanded. She held nothing back. Every part of her was open to him, gifted to him with a generosity that unmanned him.
Damn it! Hadn’t he just promised himself he wouldn’t analyze what made Angie different from the other women he’d known?
She appeared in the doorway between his bedroom and the living room just then and he fought not to laugh at the irony. Angelique, the tempting sex goddess he’d been so busily fantasizing about had been replaced by Ms. Angie Colter, PA Extraordinaire, fully zipped, buttoned and uncreased, from the painfully tight knot of hair at her nape to the sensible heels concealing her pretty painted toes. Despite that, he caught the merest hint of nervousness eroding the edges of her composure.
“Dinner’s not here yet?” she asked.
“Not yet.” He lifted an eyebrow. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
But she wasn’t. Not totally. “Except for…?”
Before she could respond, a panel by the elevator buzzed. “I assume that’s our dinner,” she prompted, her relief almost palpable.
Lucius nodded in confirmation. Fine. He’d save the postcoital interrogation until after dinner. He crossed to the panel in the foyer and punched in a code. A few minutes later the doors opened and a young man in his late teens stepped from the car bearing a cardboard box, a cocky grin and a long golden braid that flowed all the way to his waist. It twitched rhythmically to the music pouring from the earbuds dangling from his ears.
“Thanks for being so prompt, Tuck,” Lucius said.
“Anything for you, Mr. D. You want it in the dining room, as usual?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
He started in that direction, his stride catching in a brief hitch when he caught sight of Angie. To Lucius’s amusement, he gave her a quick, flirtatious wink before continuing on his way. He made short work of setting up their meal, then returned with the empty box. “Nice one, Mr. D.,” he murmured under his breath. “I live to be you.”
He handed the kid a generous tip and jerked his head in the direction of the elevator. “Just live to be yourself, Tucker,” he advised.
“That was my second choice,” the teen replied. Hopping onto the elevator he punched the button for the lobby. Just as the doors slid shut he waggled his brows in Angie’s direction and gave her a low wolf whistle.
“Interesting character,” she said with a laugh.
“He takes a little getting used to, but he’s harmless.” Lucius led the way into the dining room and held the chair for Angie. “Smart, too. He received a full scholarship to U-Dub. Wants to be an engineer.”
“Did you attend the University of Washington?”
“Yes. Or I did until my father died,” he qualified. He selected a bottle of chilled white wine that would mate well with their meal, made short work of opening it. “I dropped out at that point to salvage what I could of his business. Not that there was anything left to salvage. Lynley had gotten it all by then.”
“And then you started Diablo, Inc.,” she prompted.
“That took a few years to get off the ground.” He transferred some chicken stir-fry to her plate. “I think you’ll like this. They use an excellent blend of spices.”
She took a bite, her startled gaze flashing to his. “Oh, wow.”
He smiled. “Told you.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Drank wine. He watched while she pushed a bite of dinner around her plate, working up the nerve to speak. Finally, she glanced at him and caught him looking. She released a low laugh. “Aren’t you going to say, ‘Out with it, Colter’? You don’t normally show such patience.”
He shrugged. “I knew you’d work up to it in a bit. It gave me a chance to eat before you grilled me again.”
“I’m not going to grill you. To be honest, I just wondered… Where do we go from here?”
Back to bed, he almost replied, but refrained. She must have guessed the direction of his thoughts, though, because warm color swept across her cheekbones.
“Other than there,” she added drily.
He sipped his wine. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. We’ll spend the day picking out an engagement ring. Make it official. We’ll break it to the Ridgeways when we pick up Mikey on Sunday.”
“We?” A part of her loved the way he connected them with such ease. Another part struggled to deal with the speed with which they were moving forward. “You want me to come with you?”
“From this point forward, we’re joined at the hip,” he confirmed. “We present a unified front in every regard. Got it?”
It made perfect sense. The Ridgeways needed time to assimilate the changes. Even more important, they needed time to buy into those changes. To believe without question that she and Lucius were a couple, and would make excellent parents for Mikey. Although, no question, that would take quite a bit of convincing. She nodded in agreement. “Got it.”
“Excellent.” His cell phone rang just then. He checked the number and frowned. “I better take this. It’s the Ridgeways.” He connected the call. “Benjamin? Oh, Tabby. Is there a problem? Mikey?”
To Angie’s concern, his expression closed over and she stood, crossed to where he sat. Unable to help herself she slid a supportive hand onto his shoulder, praying nothing had happened to the baby.
“We’ll be right there.” He snapped the cell phone closed. “She thinks Benjamin has had a heart attack. They’re at the hospital and she’s requested that I pick up Mikey.”
“Let’s go,” she said simply.
“One quick adjustment first.” He stood, ran his gaze over her in a manner that had her stiffening. “I’d hoped to have this weekend to set the stage a little better.”
For some reason she found herself falling back a step. “What does that mean?”
“It means, when we get to the hospital, try gazing at me adoringly rather than like you are now.” At her look of utter confusion, he clarified, “As though I’m about to steal your chastity, run off with the family jewels and give a boot to your little pet dog on my way out the door.” He approached, looking entirely too dark and dangerous. “From now on you need to look a bit less professional and a hell of a lot more like my future wife.”
Her breath quickened. “Perhaps the engagement ring we purchase tomorrow will be sufficient. Besides, Mrs. Ridgeway will be too distracted by concern for her husband to pay attention to me.”
“Don’t be so sure, not when it comes to Tabby. She might not consciously notice, but in retrospect she’ll pick up on the clues. Assuming we give her a few to pick up on.” He paused in front of Angie, so close she could feel his warmth and catch a hint of his scent, a scent he’d somehow imprinted on her in those hours they’d shared in his bed. Before she could stop him, he reached for her hair, tumbled it free of the tidy knot she’d settled for after her shower. “Better.”
“Lucius—”
“Much better. Keep saying my name like that and there won’t be any question about our relationship.”
He reached for her, drew her up for a slow kiss, one that had her melting against him. And then another, deeper, more thorough. She didn’t have a clue how long the embrace lasted. Minutes. Forever. When he finally released her she discovered he’d somehow freed the first few buttons of her blouse, exposing the lacy edge of her bra. She fell back a pace, fumbling with the buttons, only to have him stop her.
“Leave it,” he ordered.
“You can’t expect me to go around like this. What will people think?”
“Exactly what we want them to think. That we’re a couple who can’t keep our hands off each other. A couple who were caught in bed when Tabby called and threw on the first things that came to hand before rushing off to the hospital.”
She could feel warmth burning a path across her cheekbones. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You don’t have a choice. I don’t want there to be any question that our marriage is a love match. I don’t want the Ridgeways to have any grounds for suggesting otherwise.” He tipped her chin upward, his black eyes burning into hers. “When we rush into the hospital together I want on some level for Tabby to believe we just rolled out of bed.”
“Not much of a stretch considering we did,” Angie muttered.
His mouth twisted to one side. “Unfortunately, my dear Ms. Colter, you have an innate knack for presenting a calm and unruffled front. Excellent when it comes to a work setting, but not at all what I need right now.”
She glared at him in exasperation. “And you think undoing a few buttons and wearing my hair down will change that?”
“It’ll help. So will a carefully staged embrace.”
She stared at him in open dismay. “Oh, Lucius, no. Not tonight.”
“Of course not tonight,” he retorted impatiently. “But soon.”
“Is that really necessary?”
Irritation flashed across his face. “What the hell difference does it make if the Ridgeways catch us kissing? We will be kissing. In case there’s the least doubt in your mind, we’ll be kissing on a regular basis. We’ll also be sharing a bed from this point forward.”
“You’re moving too fast.”
“Then catch up,” he snapped. “I don’t have time to go slow with you, not considering this latest development. Nor is there time for you to turn coy at this late date. I explained what I needed going in. And you know damn well what’s at stake here.”
Angie’s chin shot up. “Back off, Lucius. You’re pushing too fast, too hard. We’re not married, yet.”
“Another fact that I plan to change at our earliest possible convenience.” He checked his watch and swore. “We need to go. We can argue about this later.”
He was right. They did need to go. She held her tongue while he whisked her into the elevator. The ride to the garage level took next to no time. He led her to a new BMW sedan that took her by surprise. She wouldn’t have associated the car with him, vaguely recalled he drove something far sportier, until she caught sight of the car seat in the back. It hit her then. He’d purchased the car with Mikey in mind. And she’d bet the title on her pretty little house in Ballard that this particular model possessed one of the highest safety ratings around.
They pulled out into the misty Seattle night, the dampness causing the tires to softly hiss against the pavement. Darkness clamped down on them, intensifying the intimacy within the confines of the car. To Angie’s relief, Friday night traffic proved light, perhaps because it was well past rush hour, also well past the time when people would be heading out for dinner dates or theater engagements. The darkness and intimacy also gave her the courage to address an issue she’d neglected to ask Lucius about, an issue that continued to nag at her. She decided to get it out into the open before committing herself to her role as his fiancée.
“Would you mind if I asked you a question about Mikey and your guardianship of him?”
He spared her a swift glance before returning his attention to the road. “Since you’ll soon be his mother, I don’t mind at all.”
“His mother,” she repeated faintly. “I…I hadn’t thought of it quite that way.”
“Start.”
She gave a quick nod. “Okay. I can do that. I think.”
“What’s your question?”
“Why?” she asked simply. “Why did you agree to take Mikey and why are you so determined to keep him—to the extent of marrying a virtual stranger? Why not just let the Ridgeways have him? It would certainly be simpler.”
“Excellent question and one I’ve asked myself countless times over the past three months.” His mouth compressed and a frown of concentration etched a path across his brow. “There are several reasons, to be honest. First, I made a promise to Geoff, and I don’t ever— ever —renege on my promises.”
“There’s a reason for that, isn’t there? Your father?” she hazarded a guess. “And what happened between him and Lynley?”
“I will never be Lynley,” he confirmed. “I will never break a promise, once made.”
She didn’t doubt him for a single moment. Lucius Devlin might be one of the most ruthless men she’d ever met, but he had a code of honor as inherent and unalterable as the color of his eyes or the hard, uncompromising angles of his face. Even with Lisa, if she and Geoff had still been a couple when she’d come crying on his shoulder, he’d never have laid a finger on her. Angie knew that with utter certainty.
“And your other reasons?” she prompted.
“The Ridgeways aren’t fit guardians.” He made the statement in a flat, absolute voice. “They despised Lisa, and there’s not a question in my mind that Mikey will ultimately pay the price for their attitude toward his mother.”
“I agree,” Angie murmured unhappily. “Mrs. Ridgeway, in particular, seems almost zealous in her determination to make sure Mikey doesn’t take after Lisa in any fashion.”
“Lisa had her flaws, but one thing I know for certain. She adored Mikey. She was like a lioness with her cub when it came to her son.”
Angie regarded him with grave eyes. “But there’s another reason you’ve decided on this course of action. I can tell.”
“That’s none of your business,” he stated gently.
“I disagree. If I’m to be your wife, if I’m to be Mikey’s mother, I think it is my business.”
He had zero intention of answering her, she could tell. But then to her utter astonishment, the words escaped in a whispered confession, full of pain and regret, spilling into the heavy darkness of the car.
“Mikey could have been mine.”