7. Baby
BABY
I don’t know why I didn’t recognize him before, but when he mentioned his name, all the nerves in my body awakened.
My heart remembered Love.
Every girl in the hood wanted to fuck his fine ass. I used to see him and his brother around my neighborhood all the time, but I don’t think he even noticed me, not until that day.
When we walked up on them at the kickback party, he was the first person I saw, despite being next to his identical twin.
He was laughing at something with his head tilted back, and all I thought about was how nice his smile was, and how gentle his eyes were.
Of course, I had boyfriends back then, but none of them made my heart flutter like Love does.
He was standing there looking like milk chocolate with a plain white t-shirt. The sweatpants he had on hung loosely around his waist, and he matched the fit with all-white Nike’s.
I wish it was him who came up to me that day instead of T.K. I thought about it all the time. The outcome would’ve been different from what it was, but when T. K stepped to me, I ended up giving him my number.
I never should have, but I had no reason to think he wasn’t anything but a gentleman. But as time went on, his promises were unkept, phone calls when unanswered, and he started acting weird around my sister.
When I came back from the bathroom, it looked like I walked in on something I shouldn’t. I probably could’ve waited in the lobby until she came out, but I couldn’t stop my feet from moving towards the door.
For some reason, my heart tightened when I saw him standing there with her. Judging by the looks she threw at me on the way out, I can tell they have some sort of history there.
His mood changed after that. His words were clipped and straight to the point while he went over the rules and regulations. Unlike before when his words invited me in, this time, it’s almost like he’s keeping me at a distance.
I’m no fool. I know he knew who I was by the recognition on his face when he saw me in the lobby. Granted, we never actually had a face-to-face conversation before today, but the subtle glances between us were always intense and heated.
“Baby?” his voice made me quiver. This is the third time I zoned out within the last hour.
“Am I boring you?” he questioned.
“No,” I answered. “I’m sorry.”
I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. I’m not usually this shy around people. I think I got my outspoken personality from my mama, but I'm finding it hard to speak in front of this man. His mouth started moving again, but I wasn't paying attention.
“Baby,” he called my name, and his tone almost made me jump out of my skin. My leg bounced fast, the sound of my heels clacked against the tiled floor. He was losing patience with me, and I can tell. My auntie always told me I had a short attention span, but I ain’t know it was this goddamn bad.
“You got ADHD, ma?” he inquired with a frown on his face. He opened my file again, and started flipping through pages, like he’s searching for something. “They forgot to write that shit down.”
I watched as he gripped his beard, studying the notes in front of him. I don’t think that was meant to be a question, and I don’t know if he’s being sarcastic, or if he legit thinks they forgot to add that in there.
Either way, I’m not about to sit here and let him insult me.
I finally found my voice.
“I don’t got ADHD,” I said in a clipped tone.
He closed the file slowly, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “Aight, look. I know you went through some shit, and I get how hard this must be for you, but don’t ever disrespect me like that again. You show me respect, and I show you respect. You understand?”
I rolled my eyes, but that was for show. My pussy tingled at his authoritative tone.
“Yeah, I understand.”
I crossed my legs to hide how turned on he made me. Satisfied with my answer, he leaned back in his chair, looking at me with so much intensity. I couldn’t take it, so I averted my gaze.
“When you plan on looking for a job?”
On the way outta the mall, I tried three other stores, and they all looked at me the same way.
“Nobody gonna hire a felon,” I replied somberly, glancing down at my hands. “To them, I'm just some girl who’s been to prison.”
“Nah, you much more than that,” he whispered, and the way he said it made my heart seize in my chest.
When the silence became too much, he cleared his throat and looked down at his watch.
“But you’re right. Lots of places won’t hire you, but that’s what I’m here for.
” He then pulled something from the top drawer, dropping it on the desk.
“I have another parolee coming in. Just fill this out and bring it back during our next meeting.” He handed me a slip of paper. “We’ll go from there.”
He stood up and walked around his desk, taking deliberate steps towards me. I raised from my chair, his cologne invading my nose the minute he got close enough for me to sniff him.
He smelled so damn good.
“I’ll take care of you, Baby,” he told me softly, his eyes taking me in.
I don’t doubt at all that he can and will take care of me, in more ways than one.
From my peripheral, I can see his hand move higher towards my arm.
He wanted to touch me, and I was praying for it, but then he dropped his hand down.
When he glanced into my eyes, a moment passed between us before a knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll see you soon.” He walked me out and nudged me towards the hallway.
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Lauren was on the other side, and stepped back so I could walk by, angling her body away from mine so I wouldn’t touch her.
My stomach tightened.
He’s not my man, he can do what he wants, I chanted repeatedly, but even from my lips, the words didn’t feel right.
He felt like mine in all the ways that he shouldn’t be, but it’s dangerous to get into anything with him. He had all the power to fuck my life up if it went bad.
I underestimated the amount of time I was inside, and I felt bad when I saw Jayda asleep in the driver’s seat.
Tap! Tap!
I knock lightly on the glass, wanting her to wake up, but now wanting to scare her.
She flinched peeking at me through one eye. She shut it again, then started fumbling with the buttons on the door, looking for the one that unlocked it. I don’t know the method to her madness, or why she won’t just open her damn eyes, so she can see.
Luckily, she eventually found the one she was looking for.
“Bitch, you were gone for two hours,” she mumbled sleepily, wiping the drool from her face.
“I’m sorry, girl. I didn’t think I'll be gone that long, but I got some tea and it’s hot, bitch!” I squealed out, bouncing in my seat. She put the keys in the ignition, but waited for me to speak instead of turning in on. “Nu uh. Drive and listen, hoe. I’m starving.”
She sucked her teeth, but turned the key over, and pulled outta the parking lot.
I told her everything, starting from the moment I went inside, to the time I came out.
I mentioned briefly about the exchange I saw between Love and Lauren, then I told her about what happened between us right before I walked out.
It was only the first day, and he’s already driving me crazy.
I prayed for strength, and to get through the rest of my sentence unscathed, but I knew that wasn't possible. Not when he looked at me like I was the stars and the moon. Not when he made me feel more alive than I had in three years. Not when a part of me felt empty in his absence, and even though it’s only been five minutes since I left, I missed him already.