22. Maia
22
MAIA
S eb’s cuddling me close on his lap, and it’s so soothing having the sparks fly between us as it helps with my unsettled stomach. Alex is still cuddling with Phoebe, and she’s lost to the fairies. She’s tiny in his arms, and it’s so adorable seeing how attentive he is whenever she makes a noise in her sleep.
“So, what are our next steps going to be?” I ask, looking over at Phoebe.
“We’re likely going to get a summons to appear in court in the next few weeks. Maybe longer, maybe sooner,” Topher says. “But it’s not going to be the kind of court you know. This battle is going to take place amongst wolves.”
“That makes no sense,” I say with a frown. “How is this even legal?”
“It is legal,” Ben says with a nod.
“I’m not doubting the legality of it. I’m asking for an explanation in terms I’ll understand.”
“Law is not my speciality,” he says with a shrug. “I know how to operate within it and get it to work for me, but I don’t know much about the merger of wolf and human laws, sadly. I think I’d be a pretty good lawyer, though. ”
Topher tries to explain, but it’s something that I’m not truly grasping. They have a separate legal system that runs concurrently with the human judicial system. Their laws were created years and years ago and have always been kept secret from most humans. That’s the basics, and I think in this area, I’m happy enough to accept it.
“Basically, what happens in this court will reflect in the human eyes, too,” Alex says, and I sigh and nod. “The only main difference is because you are human—you won’t be around your peers.”
“There’s no humans allowed in a werewolf court?” I ask with a frown.
“No human who is not a mate or child of a wolf will be allowed there, no,” Topher says. “But since this will be a custody battle and not a criminal case, the likelihood is you’ll be the only human.”
“So, are we doing the right thing by not being the ones to initiate? Are we not giving them an advantage?” I ask. My fingers itch to take Phoebe back from Alex, a desperation to just snuggle her close and let her tiny little gurgles fool me into believing it’s all going to be okay.
Seb must notice because he reaches over to take my hands in his, and he squeezes ever so gently.
“No,” Alex says, shaking his head. “They’re the ones arguing against you having custody, so they must bring the suit. As it stands, you’re her only biological parent, so you have custody, regardless of your species. They have a year to dispute your claim, and if they don’t, they never can again.”
“A year to dispute it, or a year to bring the case and fight it?” I ask with a frown.
“A year to dispute it,” Topher says. “But I can see where your thoughts are going. They’re not going to drag this out. Trust me.”
“I’m trying,” I say quietly.
“And we appreciate that,” Alex says, squeezing my hand. “ We’ve got three lawyers in our clientele that deal with this type of case, and with your permission, I’ll contact them first thing tomorrow. This will let us start preparing whilst we wait for the summons to come through.”
“And that part is allowed?” They all nod. “Then do it. I’ve got the funds, so get the best person that you can find. I’m not going?—”
“You will not be paying,” Topher says, looking as if he’s just eaten a lemon. His hazel eyes darken as he stares me down.
“It’s not the important argument right now,” Alex says, effortlessly diffusing the argument before Topher and I can engage. “Reaching out to them is the important step.”
“They’ll be the best ones to answer your legal questions,” Topher says after a moment, and I nod. “We’re going to figure out what my parents know about Ryan’s death and whether they were involved.”
“If they were, they’ll be dead before the next sunrise,” Seb murmurs, and a chill races down my spine.
“But whilst we wait, what do you know about his death?” Ben asks. “I’ve already dug up all the official information I can find, but I want to know what you know.”
“Um, okay. He died nine months ago. It was a hit and run, just like my parents,” I murmur, looking down at my hands as tears well up in my eyes.
Nobody comments on my sadness, and I’m glad.
“He was just walking in the street. He crossed the road, and a car came zooming around the corner and hit him.” I choke the words out, both hating and loving the feel of Seb’s arms around me as he offers the comfort he can. “He was safe, you know? He didn’t cross a busy road or not check. He used the zebra crossing.”
I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my arm, my breath coming out in heavy pants as I try and compose myself.
“Do you think it was an accident?” Topher asks. His words aren’t harsh, but they’re not gentle, either .
“I… I don’t know. I don’t think so, or at least if it was an accident, they knew what they did.”
“What do you mean by that, little butterfly?”
“The car that hit him didn’t just settle for that. They reversed and went over him again. And again. The footage showed it all, so there was no doubt that they did that part on purpose,” I whisper.
“Wait, footage? ” Ben demands. I sniffle as he shoves his food out of the way and rests on his knees properly. “Have you seen this footage, Maia?”
I shake my head as bile rises up inside me. Did I watch the video of my fiancé being murdered? No, I most definitely did not.
“So, how do you know it exists?” he asks.
“I was told about it during an interview,” I say slowly. My stomach is churning, and I’m very glad that I haven’t eaten much. I look up at him, my curiosity overtaking some of my sadness. “Why?”
“Because I’ve not found any evidence of this footage,” Ben says, getting up from the chair to grab his laptop from his bag. There’s an eager tinge to his actions as he rushes back to the sofa. “Which means that there’s either none that exists and you were lied to by the officer on the case or it’s not in our archives.”
I frown, my stomach rolling once more. I take the offered cup of water from Seb and sip at it as the four men furiously engage across their silent mind link. I don’t interject, I can’t.
I don’t know what to say. Back then, I was in so much shock, I never questioned it. Not really. I didn’t beg to watch him die. I didn’t even consider wanting to see his final moments that way.
Who would?
Which is likely, if they did lie, what made me an easy target.
“How much of what I know is the truth?”
“That’s what we’re determining, darling,” Ben says with none of the tact my delicate heart needs.
“We’ll fix it all for you,” Seb murmurs, gently running his hand up and down my sides. “We can’t bring back Ryan, but we’ll get you and Phoebe some vengeance.”
I nod, my teeth starting to chatter.
“Put that away for tonight,” Topher demands, gesturing to Ben’s laptop. “We’ll start researching properly tomorrow.”
Ben pouts, lifting his head up to look at his brother. He’s already been typing away, his eyes flying across the keyboard. They exchange more silent words before Ben nods and puts his laptop to the side. He pulls the pizza box back into his lap.
“What did they tell you about who did it?” Alex asks, adjusting Phoebe in his arms. “Did they ever admit to finding the person who did it?”
I shake my head. “They told me that they found the car but not the person driving it. They still haven’t found who did it. I debated on hiring a PI, but...” I shrug, looking down at my lap, shame rising. “I wasn’t sure what they’d find, and I was pregnant and scared. My focus was on Phoebe and getting through the day. I couldn’t...” I purse my lips, trying to hold the tears back.
“Nobody is judging you for that,” Topher says, putting his phone down. “Not in the slightest. But would you be opposed to us hiring one now? We’ve got plenty who can start digging.”
“Will it help?”
“It will,” Seb says, and I nod. He squeezes my thigh. He’s been as quiet as I expected, only speaking up when it’s important. But having him at my back, giving me cuddles and kisses and the occasional scenting, has been so nice for me.
“Then do it,” I say, a wave of exhaustion washing over me. “I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”
“Are you ready for bed?” Alex asks. I shake my head without even thinking about it, but it’s not a lie.
My heart is heavy, and I know I’m going to spend the night tossing and turning. I’d really rather not be alone for a little while longer.
“Want to do our normal little informational chats? Take a breather from the heavy stuff?” Topher asks, and I scrunch my nose up and shake my head. I really don’t feel like diving into the unknowns of the werewolf world right now, not after uncovering these secrets.
My head hurts, my body is exhausted, and yet, my thoughts are whirling around a mile a minute.
“Oh, well, the fun little scent talk—” Topher starts with a little teasing injected into his tone.
“Oh, wait, yes,” I say, eagerly jumping up on Seb’s lap and cutting Topher off. He groans, adjusting me slightly. Topher winks at me as Alex laughs. “That sounds great. Let me go get Phoebe settled in bed, and then we can start.”
“No!” Max whines. He flutters his eyelashes at me, a pout on his pretty face. I already know I’m going to say yes to whatever he asks, but in the most desperately pleading tone, he begs, “Can she stay with me for a little longer?”
I laugh and nod. “Of course. She’s settled better there than she would in bed anyway.”
The pure delight that fills him causes a little bit of guilt to rise. I push it back down, refusing to let it eat away at me.
The guys love Phoebe. I know they do.
And we’re going to work on building the trust between us properly.
“She’d be more settled with me,” Ben says before taking a huge bite of another slice of pizza.
“You’ll get cuddles with her later,” I reassure him, and Ben grins at me.
“So, we were going to talk to you tonight about an infant’s scent,” Topher says, and I nod. “What can you remember about it from earlier?”
“That a baby takes on their father’s scent at four weeks old and won’t lose their parent’s scent until they’ve gone through puberty,” I summarise. Food has been pushed to the side for everyone except Ben, and I’m eager for this discussion .
“So the bare minimum then,” Ben says with a snort. “Scents are one of our most important enhanced senses.”
“Really?” I ask, narrowing my eyes. Seb’s chest rumbles at the perceived insult. “Sorry, I just… are you really telling me that scents are more important than superhuman strength or eyesight?”
“What does eyesight really tell you?” Alex asks. “It’s not like seeing further changes much. At the very least, our hearing is more potent than eyesight.”
I roll my eyes, and all four of them laugh. I relax further into Seb, appreciating that, despite everything, we’re still here together, and it’s nice to not be alone.
“If Seb were inclined to do more than just sniff your neck, he’d be the best to explain,” Topher says, giving the man at my back a pointed look. Seb’s reaction is to bury his head into my hair and take another strong sniff. “Well, that answers that question.”
Alex chuckles lowly. “A scent is another form of communication for us. It’s different to hearing or seeing . It’s one of the only things that can’t be taken away, not really.”
“Our eyes can lie to us, our hearing can be muffled… but our sense of smell? It’s never going away,” Ben says, and a smirk fills his face. “It’s how I can tell Phoebe has thrown up on you and rather than having a shower, you just wiped it off.”
I roll my eyes. “If I showered every time I was covered in bodily fluids from her, my skin would be insanely dry.”
“Good excuse for lack of good hygiene,” Ben says. I only don’t snap at him to watch his words because he actually seems to be sincere.
“Ben makes a good point about our sense of smell, though. It’s the best sense because it’s the one we can trust the most,” Topher says as he reaches forward to grab a beer off the table. He takes a sip from the neck of the bottle and takes his jacket off.
“Let’s start with Phoebe’s scent,” Alex says, with a warm smile directed at my sleeping daughter. “When we first met you both, she smelt only like you. There were wisps of her own scent, but that doesn’t come in properly until she’s bonded with her wolf.”
“Why does she smell like me for so long?”
Topher is the one to smile now. “It’s very uncommon for a wolf baby to be born to a human. I’m not saying it’s never happened until now, but you’re the person I know who has had a wolf child as a human—never mind that you gave birth to a little girl. In the first few weeks of the postpartum period, the mother is very connected to the babe.”
“It’s fucking scary,” Ben mutters. “Talia nearly killed me after she had the twins.”
“You can’t separate a mother from her pup. You’ll be hard-pressed to even be allowed to hold the pup,” Topher adds, giving me a wry smile. “A female wolf may even attack their mates in the early days if they get in the way.”
“Holy wow,” I whisper. “That sounds… dangerous for the baby.”
“Never,” all four men say at once. Seb’s word was said firmly in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
“She could never hurt her pup,” Topher says. “Not even accidentally. A woman grows their baby for nine months, and I’ll never know what that’s like?—”
“But if out of the four of us, one would be growing a baby, Topher’s definitely the one who would do it,” Ben says, with a laugh.
“And that means?” I ask, cocking a brow at Ben.
“Um… that his dick is the?—”
“Nope.” I turn around in Seb’s lap to give Ben a dirty look. “I don’t want to know how you were going to finish that sentence. Finish your food, and only contribute if it’s helpful .”
Topher laughs before sobering up. “What I was going to say is that, whilst we can’t imagine how overwhelming it is, the way it’s been described is that this intense protective drive comes with further bonding and strengthening the connection between the pup and her mum.”
I deflate. This is just another area where I’ve deprived Phoebe of a need she has. It’s another way I’m deficient .
Seb lets out a low growl and lifts me up to turn me so I am facing him. He grips my chin, tilting my head so I’m looking into his hazel eyes with the bright green flecks. “Phoebe knows your scent. She knows her mum. She feeds from you, she is loved by you. Do not doubt your parenting.”
I frown. “How did you?—”
“Seb’s what you call a natural tracker,” Alex adds, and Seb hums under his breath and presses a kiss to my forehead. “His sense of smell is so much sharper than even an alpha wolf. Nothing scent wise can get past him.”
“Nothing,” Kane echoes very proudly. He smirks at me. “I can detect your hurt and sadness, even if it’s covered up by your bigger feelings.”
I try to nod, but Kane—or Seb—won’t let go of my chin, so I sigh. “I think learning about the norms for a werewolf baby is always going to upset me because I feel like I’m not doing enough for Phoebe.” I’m not brave enough to look him in the eyes as I admit this, so instead, I focus on his nose.
His beautifully shaped nose that apparently is just like being a mind reader.
“You’d be a terrible mum if you didn’t doubt yourself.” Ben shoves a handful of chips in his mouth, and Seb lets go of my face.
“That’s fair,” I murmur, and Ben grins. Seb grumbles, and I reach up, pressing a kiss to his jaw. His beard tickles ever so slightly, but it makes him smile.
“Seb’s sense of smell is slightly superior, but we’re all good at identifying the different traits in people,” Alex says. “We’ve touched on it already, but we can tell whether someone is tired or hurt. Whether they’ve got an infection or an open wound. We can sense mood shifts, no matter how subtle. ”
“Werewolves give off so much more,” Kane adds. He’s playing with my curls, wrapping them around his finger, and then unwinding them. “We can tell whether someone is strong or weak, whether they’re from a certain pack. But I can tell if someone has been a rogue before or not. There’s a level of feralness that just never goes away.”
“Feralness?” I can’t help the amusement.
Kane smirks. “Feralness, little love. I can tell if they’re pure?—”
“Pure?” Ben scoffs, leaning in towards me. “What the prude over there means, darling, is that he can tell if they’ve been fucked.”
“And how good it was,” Kane says with no shame. His eyes meet mine, darkening past their usual bright green. Flutters appear in my stomach, and I’m scared to move, aware they all smell my arousal.
“But trust me, little love,” Kane murmurs, leaning his face close to mine. “I’ve smelt what a woman smells like when they’re sexually satisfied… and I have no doubt that after a night in my bed, you’ll be smelling that way for weeks .”
I gulp, heat rising to my face as I stammer out, “But I thought… I thought you were all?—”
“Virgins?” Ben asks, sounding extremely amused right now. “We are.”
“But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to be able to pleasure you,” Topher finishes.
My face is aflame as I scoot off Seb’s lap. Neither he nor Kane try to grab me, and I instead get settled between Seb and Alex. I refuse to look at any of them.
Alex taps my shoulder, and I whimper but raise my eyes to his. The silver in them is sparkling in the light, and he smirks. “I won’t tell you the things I would do to you, since I’m holding Phoebe, but trust me when I say that the neediness you feel now will be taken very good care of.”
My heart is hammering, my thighs squished together, and I can’t tell if the heat I’m feeling is from embarrassment, arousal, desperation, or a combination of all three…
“There’s more than just what we can get from people, though,” Topher says, taking pity on me. “We can get things from houses, cars, and other animals. We mark our pack lines, our pack members, our family. Scent-marking is a huge safety tool that helps keep everyone safe.”
“Our nose is the biggest safety tool we have,” Ben adds.
They continue to go into detail about the scents, about how they can detect Phoebe’s mood, her needs, her family lines, and even her wolf’s strength, all through her smell. They’ve talked about how it compares to an adult’s and how it’s an instinctual act for a wolf to smell each new person and catalogue the changes they find.
They cover all the ins and outs of scent-marking, and even how desirable your mate’s scent is, how life-changing . How vital it is for hunting and tracking, and even for the hierarchy in a pack.
To me, my sense of smell isn’t that important. I’m the human who has a blocked nose nine months out of the year. But to wolves, they’re everything .
Phoebe begins to cry, and Alex sighs but dutifully hands her over. I whisper soft lovings and murmurs to her as I unclasp my bra so she can feed.
Based on the time, it’s cluster-feed o’clock. It’s been a little earlier the last couple of nights, and I’m so happy it’s now and not at three in the morning.
She’s cuddling close, and her soft suckles are a firm reminder that all this stress and anxiety is worth it. She is worth it.
“You had said that Phoebe smells like all of you,” I mention.
“Correct,” Topher says. The excitement is so easy to see, he’s beaming at me. It’s so unlike him, but so like him at the same time.
“So she smells like Ryan and the four of you. ”
“Yes. She does,” Alex says. Despite losing hold of the tiny human, his eyes are just as wide with excitement as Topher’s.
“Phoebe’s inner wolf understands that we’re her dads, too,” Ben says, grinning at my daughter.
“All because you’re my mates,” I say, and they all nod. “So what happens to Ryan’s scent?”
“It’ll stay with her until she goes through puberty, just like ours,” Topher says. He leans forward a little, an almost bashful expression crossing his face. He looks so attractive right now, with his sleeves rolled up, and his top few buttons undone.
There’s a comfort edge to him.
“We don’t replace him, princess. We’re there in addition to him.”
“Well, not technically, since he’s dead,” Ben mutters.
The pang of pain that hits me is immediate, and I flinch. Seb kicks Ben, who rubs his shin and mutters a worthless apology.
I know how he feels, but those comments don’t make me feel better. They hurt. Badly.
But no matter what I hear, it won’t change the Ryan I knew and loved. The man I planned my life out with, the man who gave me my beautiful little girl, the man who lost his life just as it was truly beginning.
I won’t forget the man I knew.
I’d like to think this future I have with these men is a future he’d both understand and encourage.
You know, ignoring the hatred he supposedly has towards them.
Ryan was truly that good of a man.
I yawn, and Topher grins at me. “I think it’s time you get yourself and Phoebe up to bed.”
“I will come,” Seb says standing up from the sofa. He holds his hand out to me, not waiting for any confirmation.
“Wait—” Topher starts.
“Seb can come,” I murmur, taking his offered hand up. Phoebe’s still latched, and I adjust my hold on her to keep that possible.
“Good night, little butterfly,” Alex says. Topher and a distracted Ben both offer their goodnights, and I follow Seb up to my bedroom.
I think I know why he’s coming.
I just hope he doesn’t judge me the way I’m already judging myself.