Chapter 32
Ashton
ME: if a girl kisses you, that confirms she like you, right?
MILO: Who is this?
CORAL: I’ve kissed guys that I don’t like
FENELLA: Me too
ME: I don’t need to know that.
FENELLA: You asked. Why don’t you just tell us what happened with Sophie?
Sophie kissed me. And I kissed her back. But saying that in a text thread takes away from the… rightness of it. And the confusion I feel about how much I liked it.
I wanted to kiss Sophie, but I didn’t think I should. But if she kissed me…
Of course I’m going to kiss her back.
We’re not going to bring up the fact that her father could have easily walked in on us, had I not given the lock a casual flick when I closed the door. I’ve never locked any door in the castle, not mine, and definitely not Sophie’s. I don’t know what made me do it last night.
But I’m so glad I did.
Duncan at the door put a damper on things, and I helped Sophie stand up. I suspected it would take a while for the bright red of her cheeks to return to her normal colour, so I quickly left to spare her any more embarrassment.
I wish I’d stayed.
I’m not one for talking about feelings, but I have a feeling we need a conversation about that.
But then I might have to confess that I’ve wanted to kiss her for a while.
Like when I come into her room and see her head bent over her sketchbook, or her ereader, or watching TV, I want to kiss her.
I want to take her face in my hands, cup her cheeks, and kiss her until neither of us remembers our names.
I wanted to kiss her in the dungeons, and in the elevator, and the first time she moved the towel with her toes.
If I’m being honest, I’ve wanted to kiss Sophie even before I hit her with the car.
But the thought of what happens after the kiss is what stops me.
And for good reason: now we’ve had the kiss, and we’re in the after-kiss phase, and I have no clue how to deal with it.
I set out with a goal, and I’m pretty sure I’ve surpassed it. I wanted Sophie to fall for me, to care enough not to have me charged or sued, or anything that involves legal ramifications.
Done. Check it off the list.
But what now?
If I leave Battle Harbour now—which is what my father would tell me to do—Sophie will think I’m a fraud. She’ll know I had an ulterior motive, because everyone will tell her that.
If I leave, I have to leave it open-ended, so she’ll keep hoping I’ll come back.
Also what my father would tell me to do. Lead her on. Leave her hanging.
But what if I stay… at least for a little while?
What if I let this ride and see what happens?
Two things would happen: the media would find out and rip apart Sophie’s quiet world to find out all the details, the dirty gossip, and anything they could to make me look bad. Because that’s what the media likes to do.
I am not one of the good guys. It doesn’t matter if I think I might be, it’s what the world believes, and the world knows me as the grumpy billionaire who breaks hearts as fast as he wins races.
But Sophie looks at me like I’m a different kind of person, like she thinks I’m the type of man that I’d like to be. The caring sort. Considerate. The kind of man who doesn’t run away from a good thing just because he’s scared of maybe getting hurt someday.
The second thing that would happen is that Sophie would stop looking at me like that. I would do something wrong, I would get jealous again, and I would do something stupid because I would want to protect my heart.
I can call it something else, but that’s what I do. Have always done.
I mess up. I run.
I don’t know how to do it any differently.
ME: It’s nothing and it’s none of your business
RUPE: which means it’s something big and our boy is scared