17. Capri
CHAPTER 17
CAPRI
I grinded my molars as I watched Sintonio’s bitch ass hobble up to the front of the courtroom. His hands were cuffed in front of him, and his feet were shackled. My heart smiled when I noticed the fresh bruises on his face. Someone had been beating the brakes off that pussy. Jail may have been full of hardened criminals, but a lot of them didn’t play that hurting kids shit. I prayed that someone tagged Sintonio’s ass on a daily basis. I studied him like a lion stalking his prey. I wanted his blood on my hands so bad I was damn near trembling. My left leg bounced profusely as I waited for the judge to finish asking his bitch ass how he pled.
“Not guilty, your honor.”
My heart slammed into my ribcage. How was he pleading not guilty when he turned himself in for the crime? It wasn’t making sense to me. Sintonio’s bitch ass lawyer spoke up.
“Your Honor, it was rumored that Sintonio pulled the trigger that took the victim’s life. Because he wasn’t able to defend himself and prove that it wasn’t him, people began to threaten and attempt to intimidate my client. He was in several fights and even had his home burned down in what the fire department has determined was arson. He feared for his life and felt jail was the safest place for him. But that proved to be the wrong thing for him to do. Other inmates have already convicted him, and he’s getting into daily fights in jail as well. My client just wants a fair trial and the chance to prove his innocence, and we ask that he's able to do so somewhere safe. I’m asking you to please consider a bond reduction your honor, so my client can go home while he waits for trial.”
I was seething. If steam started coming out of my ears, I wouldn’t have been surprised. That slimy ass snake ass nigga. He was really going to try and get off. It didn’t matter though. Even if he got off, his ass still had to see me. Torturing him was done. The next time I was in his presence, I’d be taking his life. I smirked when the judge denied the request for a bond reduction. With slumped shoulders, Sintonio turned to exit the courtroom after he was given the date for his next court appearance. The moment he turned, we locked eyes, and a sinister grin eased across my face when Sintonio went pale. He looked as if he’d seen the devil himself. Butu I guess he had because in a sense, I was the devil.
Seeing me discombobulated his ass so bad he tripped over his feet. I glared at him until he was past me. I watched him until I couldn’t see him anymore. Pissed, I stood up to leave the courtroom. On a daily basis I lived with the regret of not killing Sintonio. Boldly, I sat in my car while I was still parked outside the courthouse and smoked a blunt. I had too much on my mind and seeing that coward hadn’t made my mood any better. Finding out Lisa was pregnant sent my emotions all over the place. I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. I barely remembered the events that took place that night after I got wasted. I knew she wasn’t lying about the condom breaking, but I only recalled bits and pieces.
I needed to get my shit together. Every time I felt I was making a bit of progress, something came along to set me back. It had been a few days since I’d gotten drunk, but I already knew once I was done with work, I was getting fucked up. When my workday ended, I went home and took a shower. Before the water warmed all the way up, I was walking toward my bar to take a shot of tequila. When my shower was completed and teeth brushed, I got dressed and followed up with shot number two. Shot number three, and I was out the door. Sage’s spot had strong drinks and good food, so that’s where I was going to go. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have mattered to me one way or another if Lisa had sex with Sage. But since she was claiming to be pregnant with my baby, I was definitely questioning her.
Maybe it wasn’t right to make other women pay for Robin’s indiscretions, but another woman would never get the chance to possibly pin another man’s baby on me. Learning that Caprice might not be my child shattered my entire heart and turned my world upside down. I didn’t think it could get any worse than that, but the anguish tripled when I lost her. I wasn’t even sure I wanted another kid, but if Lisa decided to have the baby, what could I do besides find out if the child was mine and be a father?
The moment I entered Sage’s lounge, I was greeted by a flirtatious hostess. She was bad as fuck, but my gaze drifted past her, and I spotted Lisa sitting at the bar. She was talking to Sage who was behind the bar, and she had food in front of her. I gave my attention back to the hostess and told her that I wanted to sit at the bar. I trekked into the establishment and sat three barstools down from Lisa. One of Sage’s bartenders greeted me instantly, and I ordered a double shot of tequila.
I could feel eyes on me and when I looked over, Sage chucked his chin upward. “What up, homie?” he walked down to where I was and gave me a fist bump.
“Shit. Chilling. Came in to get some of that award winning catfish.”
“Aight, aight,” Sage bobbed his head. “I’ll put that order in for you special myself. You want fries and cole slaw?”
“Onion rings.”
“You got it.”
Sage walked towards the kitchen, and I looked over at Lisa. She was breaking apart a large piece of fish and even though I could only see her from the side, I could tell she was scowling. She shoved one piece of fish in her mouth and dropped the other in the basket. I could tell that she was already agitated, but that didn’t stop me from walking over to her. I stood beside her, facing her, and spoke in a low tone.
“And I’m supposed to believe you never fucked with that nigga?”
Lisa ignored me. She picked up three fries and put them in her mouth. I stared at her for a few seconds.
“You don’t hear me talking to you?”
Lisa turned her head towards me. She looked me up and down with disgust cloaking her face. Her upper lip curled and even though she was looking at me like I was shit on the bottom of her shoe, I was turned on. Lisa was sexy as hell when she was angry.
“Fuck you. I don’t care what you do or don’t believe. I couldn’t care less if you never speak to me again, or if you wait until the baby is born and do the test. I refuse to be stressed out during this pregnancy so if you don’t mind, can you get the fuck out my face?”
She turned back to her food, and my right brow hiked. I wanted to be pissed. I wanted bad as hell to be pissed, but the calmness she possessed when she cursed me out made me aware that she was making the effort not to get worked up. I had seen Lisa mourn the loss of her son. She deserved a happy, healthy pregnancy, and I wouldn’t be the one to take that away from her. I went back to my seat and started on the drink that the bartender placed on the bar. From my peripheral vision, I could see Lisa paying her tab. Sage came back over and tapped the bar.
“Your food will be out in about ten minutes.”
“’Preicate that.” I bobbed my head as he walked down to where Lisa was.
I glanced up at the television that was mounted over the bar. They weren’t loud, and I wasn’t going to strain my ears in an attempt to eavesdrop on their conversation. I had no desire to be in a relationship. Lisa and I didn’t plan a child. I wasn’t going to try and be with her just because she was pregnant and if I didn’t want to be with her, I couldn’t say shit about her being with somebody else.
Once she left, Sage came down to where I was. “She’s adamant that she doesn’t want to date right now. Anything you see between us is strictly platonic.”
I looked over at Sage and chuckled. I’d never admit out loud that hearing him say that was a relief. “You’re good man. I have no say so over what she does.”
Sage gave me a look like he felt that I was full of shit. What he thought didn’t matter, however. He didn’t push the topic, and he started talking about cars until my food came out, and then he let me eat in peace. Only God knew why He allowed Lisa to get pregnant with my child because even I had thoughts that Sage might be the better man for her. I simply wasn’t interested in being so, and she deserved more than that.
It took me six days to reach out to Lisa. And she ignored my ass. I attempted again on the seventh day, and she ignored me again. I was frustrated, but what could I do? I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, and she wasn’t obligated to deal with my bullshit. Regardless of if I wanted another kid or not, she deserved support and for someone to at least inquire about how she was doing. From what I knew, the latter part of her last pregnancy was rough and that was partly due to Sintonio being a fuck nigga. I had no desire to be the same way.
On the eighth day, Lisa texted me and made me aware that because of what happened with her last pregnancy, she had an appointment coming up, and they were going to do extensive blood work and testing. She also noted that from the blood work they’d be able to tell the sex of the baby, so she told me I could come if I wanted. I replied and told her I’d be there. After sending her my response, I sat on the couch and stared at the floor. Robin had an elaborate gender reveal, and when I found out we were having a girl, I was elated. My stomach churned as I thought back to the wide grin on Dolph’s face, and how he was congratulating me and popping bottles of champagne.
My lip curled in disgust. Fake, flaw ass nigga. I gripped the back of my neck and closed my eyes. I was determined not to drink. I was tired of running to a bottle every time I was triggered or missing Baby Girl. There had to be a better way. I’d become everything I’d always told myself I never wanted to be. But how the hell was I supposed to feel? Only months after losing Caprice here I was about to have another baby. My shorty could never be replaced. I didn’t want another kid. I wanted her .
“Fuck!” my voice roared as I stood up abruptly.
My forehead creased as I stared at the unfamiliar number calling my phone. “Yo,” I answered gruffly not in the mood to speak to anyone.
“Capri, it’s Robin. Please don’t hang up.” Her voice was small and timid, and it made me grit my teeth together because I was about to do just that. “I know you hate me, and you don’t owe me anything. But I don’t have anyone to drop me off for my chemo appointment. If you could, would you please just drop me off? I’m not supposed to drive because the chemo can make me fatigued and nauseated. By the time I’m done, my mom will be off work, and she can come pick me up.”
“Ubers stopped running in the city?” I inquired with a scowl.
“I-I didn’t really want to take an Uber. Going to chemo always makes me nervous, Capri. I know you hate me, but I’m being punished enough. Before I go to chemo I just like to be around a familiar face. Please,” she begged softly and not one of my heart strings was tugged.
“I’m busy,” was my callous reply before I hung up on her.
Robin and her deceit had turned me into the monster that I was. I refused to feel bad about my actions or how I treated her when she looked me in my face every day for almost three years knowing what she’d done. I still would have left her ass just for cheating, but playing with my seed was a different kind of disrespect. She was never coming back from that. Caprice deserved better. My shorty didn’t deserve to have her life cut short. She deserved to grow old and to simply live, but even with the cruel fate that she’d endured, I had to believe that my baby was somewhere flying high and resting peacefully. The people she left behind, we were the ones here suffering and going through hell. Life was lifing for all of us.
Tears swam in my eyes as I dropped my head. “I love you, and I miss you so much. I swear daddy isn’t trying to replace you. You could never be replaced. Never.” I covered my face with my hands and let all the pain out with gut wrenching sobs that made my entire body quake.