Chapter 20 #3
“That stupid bracelet I made you that you probably forgot all about. It got caught on the window that you broke, the one at the back of the art room, the—”
Her own words cut off when I yanked down the wrist of my jacket and revealed the exact thing she was talking about.
She thought I forgot, but no. Far from that.
However torn and tattered it was, I had never been able to throw it away.
There it was on my wrist, burning through my skin so fiercely I could have sworn it hurt.
The one she had made at my house, when she was hiding away from hers, because everything and everyone in her perfect mansion made her heart ache.
Her eyes locked on to it like she was looking at a ghost. She hadn’t forgotten about it. I hadn’t either. It was impossible to when I clung on to it like it was gold. It was more precious than that.
“No, they showed me,” she whimpered. “They showed me the photos. And the police said… They found your prints, Bridger.”
“They didn’t find shit. They told you everything your parents wanted you to hear,” I said lowly. “And the fact that you believe that I could do something like that to you should give me enough reason to fucking hate you the way you apparently hate me.”
“But… No…” Her hands slid through her hair, fingers tangling in her locks. “Bridger…”
“You know what was in my letter? My actual one that you apparently didn’t fucking get?
The one I really did send to you? I remember it word for fuckin’ word, Juliette.
It was me telling you that I love you, that I was sorry someone had fucked with you, that I still hoped you didn’t fucking give up on following your dreams. It was me hoping you’d come visit me, that you’d call, that you’d still go to Harvard and do all that good shit you planned on.
The stuff you dreamed about. That was the girl I remembered.
The strong one with the long list of dreams…
” I pulled in a deep breath, my throat too fucking dry.
“That was what I said to you. What I wanted and needed you to know. And I still want that for you. I still want you to paint and do what you love, and you know what? I still fucking love you. I love you more than I did back then and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you.
I can’t. I can’t not fucking love you, Juliette.
I don’t know how to not be in love with you. ”
Face buried in her hands once more, her shoulders shook. “You can’t say that to me!”
“You think I ever stopped loving you? You think I could do that? I can’t. I loved you then and I love you now and I’ll love you tomorrow and the day after that. You’re the only person I could ever love. There’s no one I want to love but you.”
“Don’t say that to me!”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
She yanked her hands away from her face, eyes big and wet. “Because I still love you too and I never stopped!”
I had been waiting so long to hear her say those words to me again.
I still love you. I still love you. I still love you.
I still loved her so much it made my fucking heart crack open.
I should have reached out and grabbed her and pulled her in close.
I should have kissed her the way I had been dying to kiss her since I first saw her.
Should have made love to her on the floor right then and there, making her all mine like I had done years before, but all I could think about was his ring on her finger.
“And yet…” Eyes flickering down to her left hand, I let out a huff.
That ring was long gone, but knowing it had been there at all still made my chest cave in.
“You can believe that all you want. That letter, those lines, those words—but they didn’t come from me.
Not ever, because I’d rather die than hurt you, but if you wanna believe it, then do it… ”
“I don’t want to believe it,” she said, eyes all big and wet, and the sight of her like that made my brain reel. It always did, and all I wanted to do was step forward and wipe those tears away and keep them from being in her eyes forever.
“I was yours the second I saw you that day…” Drawing in a quick breath, I kept my gaze on her.
“You had me then, Juliette. You fucking had me. All of me. Every last part. I went to bed thinking about you, about seeing you, about finding you again. And then I did and fuck, Juliette, it was like a dream becoming real. You there, in front of me, with me, mine. And I was yours. That was the best part… That I was fucking yours, because why the hell would I want to be anyone else’s? ”
“Bridger…” she said, lips trembling.
“First love,” I said, my hand curled into a fist, thumping it against my chest, right there where my heart sat, where that spot lived and ached and bled for her, “only love, Juliette. Remember that? It was only ever you. Did you really think my heart could ever feel anything for someone else? I knew from the second I kissed you for the first time that you fucking owned me. All of me. Every part of me was built for you.”
I wondered if she remembered those words too, if they meant anything to her anymore, because I sure as hell never forgot them.
First love, only love. I had whispered it into her ear the first time I took her and made her mine.
My forehead pressed to hers, our fingers threaded together, her hazel eyes on mine, and I couldn’t look away for the life of me as I made love to her.
She was mine, she was everything, my Juliette, my whole fucking heart.
Her, her, her, just her. My first love. My only love.
A hand reached up to her mouth, her fingers trembling as she tried to cover up a cry, and I had to mask and kill and bury that part of me that wanted to comfort her.
“But then you went and got married. To him,” I spat out. “You marry the kind of guy you always told me you didn’t want. So, tell me, Juliette…”
“Wait, no…” she said with a little cry. “Bridger, you don’t…”
That sound alone almost made me reach out and pull her to me so I could wipe those tears away like I used to.
I wanted to. Every instinct, every part of me, was telling me to comfort the woman in front of me and keep her safe and close, but all I could think about was that fucking ring.
She let some other man slide it on to her.
Took his last name. She wanted to be his. She chose him.
“Between the two of us?” I said, voice low as I turned. “Tell me who the fucking liar is.”