Chapter 12
12
Taylor
M um, Ciaron and I were in the kitchen doing the dishes after dinner. The kids had taken themselves off to their rooms. A deliberate act to avoid work? Perhaps. Maybe it was a good idea. Dinner hadn’t been full of fun reminiscing, like it had been the night before. Ciaron had gone from being light and happy to sullen and back again. He’d been hard to read, and I couldn’t put a finger on why.
“Fran tells me that Sophia filled her forms in,” Mum said. “So, crisis averted.”
Ciaron stiffened.
I shoved the tea towel into the glass. “How did you know about that?”
“Ciaron was upset when he got down to the crush. He told me about what happened.”
I yanked the tea towel out and thrust the glass at Mum, ignoring Ciaron, who was washing dishes beside me. I couldn’t believe he went to Mum like he was a child tattling on a sibling. I’d done nothing wrong. It’s not my fault he got upset when I pointed out his error.
I raised my eyebrows at Mum. “And why was he so upset? Because he made a mistake?”
Mum opened her mouth, but she was cut off by Ciaron’s angry voice. “Because you’ve never made a mistake?”
I wrung the tea towel in my hands. Time to turn it around on Taylor, is it? Fuck that. I wasn’t always to blame. “It’s not that hard a concept. They fill in the forms before they move in.”
“So what, now you’re going to have a fucking go at me in front of Mum? Because doing it in front of Fran wasn’t enough?”
I rounded on him. “I’m not the one who told Mum all about it.”
Ciaron’s face was flushed. “She saw that I was upset and had the decency to ask me about it. Unlike you.”
“You were upset because you didn’t follow the process.”
Mum stepped forward. “Ciaron, you should have told Taylor you were upset by her actions.”
Ciaron’s narrowed eyes didn’t waver as he stared at me. “I’ve told her before, but she didn’t listen. She never fucking listens.”
That was bullshit. He never told me that. I was so sick of being cast as the villain. He was always the good guy. The kids thought he was. Mum thought he was. He hadn’t told me anything of the sort. It’s not like we’d spoken since the argument. The argument…oh wait…the day he decided to leave me and the kids, he’d mentioned it then. I’d been too busy thinking about the I’ve had enough part.
“Taylor, has Ciaron spoken to you about this before?”
“I wouldn’t call it speaking to me. He yelled it at me.”
“Because you never fucking listen.”
Mum held her hands up. I took a step back.
He did something wrong. I called him out on it. They were facts. But life wasn’t just about facts, it was about feelings, too. I chewed on my lip.
Mum stood directly in front of us. “You are not going to repair your relationship if you can’t talk or listen to each other.”
I needed to pull my head in. “I should have thought about how I spoke to you about it this morning.”
Ciaron didn’t say a word, didn’t give an inch. That was so unlike him. He was usually the peacemaker. Had I really pushed him this far? Was there no hope? I had to believe there was. Last night I thought we’d made some inroads. But Mum was right. If we didn’t speak about our problems and find a way to fix them, there wouldn’t be much hope.
“Ciaron?” Mum asked.
He stared a while longer. My heart rate increased. Please say something. Please.
“I should have admitted I’d made a mistake.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And I should have told Taylor I had a problem with the way she spoke this morning.”
Mum rested her hand on each of our shoulders. “You can do this. I know you can. Please be patient with each other and listen.”
I nodded. Ciaron turned back to the sink and resumed washing. I dried the next glass. And Mum put the last one away. This was the first step in many. I needed to remember we hadn’t got here overnight, and we wouldn’t be out of it overnight. We’d need to try to talk like two rational and mature people without letting the anger and resentment get in the way.
It wasn’t going to be easy. Yes, we’d made mistakes today, but we were still both here, not giving up.
We could do this.