Chapter 17
Donna was well enough to be discharged to stay at Iris’s flat ten days after the transplant.
Her progress had been better than any of them could have hoped for, but during the early days of her recovery, once she’d left the High Dependency Unit but was still in hospital, Bex had been forced to lie to her mother about Briony’s progress.
The more lucid Donna became, the more insistent she was that she wanted to be allowed to see her younger daughter.
‘The doctors have said there’s an increased risk of post-operative infection if you see each other too soon.
’ The lie had rolled off Bex’s tongue as she exchanged a glance with her stepfather, making a mental note to find one of the nurses as soon as possible and beg them to back up her story.
She was doing it in her mum’s best interests after all.
Hearing that Briony was so poorly could set her recovery back drastically.
‘Really? I saw a film about a kidney donation where one of the patients was wheeled to the bed of the other one straight after the operation.’
‘But this isn’t a Hollywood movie, is it, sweetheart?
’ Ken had shaken his head to emphasise the point, but the mention of Hollywood had made Bex catch her breath.
Their own slice of Hollywood was lying up in the ICU and she’d felt an almost magnetic pull to be up there with Briony, despite how much she wanted to spend time with her mother too.
She missed the boys and Matt with an ache that was always there, but she’d known at that point that nothing could make her leave her sister alone in that hospital, not even the burning desire to be back at home, to hug each of them in turn and tell them just how much she loved them.
Thank God for FaceTime calls, it had got her through, but eventually they’d been forced to come clean with Donna and tell her just how poorly Briony had been, although thankfully not until the worst of the situation had already passed.
‘There were some complications with Briony’s surgery.
’ All of the colour had drained from her mother’s face when Bex had delivered the news, but she’d pushed on, knowing that she had to get to the good part as soon as she could to stop her mum from spiralling.
‘She’s been in ICU, but she’s stable now and they’re very confident she’ll make a full recovery as planned.
But you know my little sister, she always has to bring the drama. ’
Bex had smiled then and her mother had given her an incredulous look, before taking her by complete surprise and smiling too.
‘My little sister, you’ve got no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words from you again.
Even if this liver decides to pack up on me next week, it will all have been worth it to hear you say that, now I know Briony is going to be okay, and that the two of you are finally going to be okay too.
Maybe that’s why all of this had to happen. ’
‘Don’t you dare mention that liver packing up!
’ Bex had given her mother a mock stern look.
It had been easier to focus on that than the other things her mum had said, because she’d still had no idea if she and Briony were really going to be okay.
She knew she wanted them to be, she just wasn’t sure it was possible outside the bubble of the hospital.
So much time had been wasted and so many things had been said in the past that couldn’t be unsaid.
Bex had no idea if Briony had even heard the heartfelt promises she’d made when her sister was in ICU, and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to repeat any of it, once Briony had stabilised.
In the days after Bex had finally been honest with her mum about how touch and go things had been for Briony, they’d both continued to make good progress with their recovery.
Bex had kept up her visits to Briony when she was moved out of ICU, into the High Dependency Unit and eventually back on to a ward, but their conversations had been surface-level, talking about their mum’s progress, other patients and staff on the ward, and what was going on at the farm.
There’d been no deep and meaningful talks about their relationship and what that might look like in the future, but it was a subject she was going to have to broach again any minute now, and this time Briony would have the chance to respond.
Bex was on her way to her sister’s ward to have a conversation she couldn’t begin to predict the outcome of.
Briony was being released from hospital tomorrow, almost a week after Donna had left, and Bex had spent most of the previous day trying to secure local care for both her mother and sister.
It was usual for patients who’d gone through what they had to have weekly appointments at the transplant centre, which for them would have meant staying close by for the first two to three months, because the stress of the journey to and from Cornwall would have been too much.
One of the consultants had mentioned the possibility of working in partnership with their local hospital, St Piran’s, for shared care, which could sometimes be arranged when patients lived a significant distance from the nearest transplant centre.
Bex had made numerous phone calls and attended meetings with the transplant team, along with Ken, who had been listed as both Donna and Briony’s next of kin.
Bex’s heart had ached when she’d realised that Briony didn’t have anyone else to list in that box and she wasn’t sure whether it was because she felt sad that her sister was alone, or because she knew it would have been her name there, and not their stepfather’s, had things been different.
In that moment she’d felt another surge of hatred for Liam, but even that had been outweighed by the guilt that had become heavier and heavier over the past couple of weeks.
She shouldn’t have allowed things to go on for this long, or for her relationship with Briony to become so distant.
She should have been the brave one years ago and reached out to say that whatever had gone on, she was ready to forgive and put it in the past, because it had led her to where she was now and a life that was as perfect as anyone’s deserved to be, except that Briony wasn’t in it.
Bex had always known in her heart of hearts that Briony hadn’t done what she had just to take Liam from her, but the fact that she’d been able to do it at all had been a massive blow to Bex’s already fragile self-esteem.
He was the second man to reject her, and it had been easy to lay the blame for that at Briony’s door and to shut down any chance her sister had to explain.
Briony’s actions might have been extreme, but Bex could see now that they’d probably had to be.
Her sister had been desperate to make her see sense.
Now she was equally desperate to do whatever it took to repair some of the damage caused by so many years apart.
Bex had held her breath waiting to hear the response from the transplant centre about whether shared care was going to be possible.
She knew she couldn’t stay in London much longer.
It had been more than two weeks already and the ache to be back with her own family was almost unbearable.
She had responsibilities too, including a new business which was flourishing, but that Tristan was having to run with just a bit of part-time help from Keira, when it should have been her taking the lead, while Tristan supported Matt on the farm.
Briony staying in the Airbnb she’d rented was already off the cards, due to how poorly she’d been following the operation, but Bex couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her mother and Briony behind in Iris’s flat, either, putting all of that weight on Ken’s shoulders.
When she finally heard the transplant centre’s decision, she wasn’t sure if her legs would hold her up.
‘Well, luck seems to be on your side, because one of the consultant hepatologists at St Piran’s used to work at the transplant centre in The Freeman Hospital in Newcastle, and he’s agreed to work with us to monitor your mum and sister’s progress.
’ The relief had felt like a wave washing over Bex, almost knocking her off her feet.
It was more than she’d dared to hope for and she knew Briony couldn’t wait to be reunited with her beloved dog.
There was just one problem with that. Her mum and Ken had three Persian cats, one of whom was terrified of dogs.
So if Briony wanted to stay with her parents, she wouldn’t be able to take Merlin with her.
She’d probably try to insist on going back to her van instead, but there was no way Bex could allow her to do that.
She still needed care and support, at least initially, which left one final option.
If Briony wanted to be with Merlin, she was going to have to come and stay at the farmhouse with Bex and her family.
Briony’s spirits lifted every time her sister walked into the ward, but at the same time her heart would start to race too, wondering if this would be the time when Bex would tell her she was going back to Cornwall, or even if today would be the day when she’d rip the plaster off their old wounds and open them up again.
They’d talked a little bit about when they were children, but mostly the conversation had remained on neutral, safe ground.
There’d been no mention of what had happened with Liam and nothing about the intervening years of silence between them.
Bex was walking towards her now with a purposeful look on her face that hadn’t changed since she’d had to step up and act like a second mum to Briony, long before she was really old enough for that kind of responsibility.
They’d been latchkey kids several days a week from the time Bex had started secondary school, and Briony was still at primary.