Chapter 19
‘Do you know where Uncle Triss is?’ Henry had a shifty look on his face as he asked the question, and Briony closed her laptop.
The video she was editing for her YouTube channel could wait.
She’d felt well enough to take Merlin out for a long walk and had captured some wonderful footage.
The farm had been beautiful when she’d arrived, but summer seemed to make every inch of it come to life; the foliage was brighter, the sky bluer, and even the sound of the sheep bleating seemed to have more clarity.
It was a wonderful assault on the senses that she wanted to share with her followers.
Although right now something was up with her eldest nephew, and that took precedence over everything else.
‘I’m not sure, but can I help?’
Henry regarded her for a moment, tilting his head to one side and pursing his lips. ‘I dunno, maybe.’
‘How about you try me?’ Whatever it was he was about to say, she wanted to make sure she maintained her composure. The last thing Henry needed was to feel judged, because then he was bound to shut down on her and he clearly needed someone to talk to.
‘I wanted to ask Uncle Triss’s advice about a girl.’ Henry’s face flushed with colour, and she had to resist the urge to hug him. Unfortunately, she didn’t temper her response nearly as well as she should have done.
‘Ohh, a girl… is that code for a girlfriend?’
‘No!’ Henry’s reply was emphatic, his shoulders rigid, but then they relaxed slightly. ‘I mean I like her and all that, but it’s not like it used to be in the olden days. You don’t just say someone is your girlfriend as soon as you start going out, like you did back then.’
‘Okay.’ Briony tried and failed to suppress a smile. ‘So why do you need Tristan’s advice about this not-a-girlfriend of yours?’
‘I asked her if she wanted to hang out with me outside of school and she said yes.’ Henry was clearly attempting to sound casual, but he didn’t quite pull it off.
‘But now I’m not sure where to take her and I didn’t want to ask Dad, because him and Mum are so old, they wouldn’t know what to suggest to someone my age. ’
Briony suddenly felt as old as time. ‘Isn’t your Uncle Triss the same age as your dad?’
‘Yeah, but Dad’s married, so he doesn’t know anything about taking someone on a date.’
Briony was still laughing when Tristan walked into the farmhouse kitchen. ‘It’s just as well your Uncle Triss has turned up, because I don’t think I know anything either. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.’
‘Are you looking for dating advice, Hen?’ Tristan smiled and Henry attempted another casual shrug.
‘I asked this girl at school if she wants to hang out with me and she said yes.’
‘Okay.’ Tristan nodded like a wise sage. ‘Is she more of an outdoor girl or into film and music?’
‘Well, she’s pretty sporty. She plays netball and hockey, and runs in the athletics team.’
‘How about something like crazy golf or bowling then?’ Tristan looked towards Henry who nodded, and Briony couldn’t stop herself from interjecting.
‘Oh, that’s a great idea, it’ll mean there’s always something to talk about, so there won’t be any awkward silences.’
‘I hate those.’ Henry grimaced. ‘I think bowling might be good, but we’ll have to get the bus to Port Tremellien.’
‘I can drive you.’ Tristan’s offer was instant, but Henry’s response was more measured.
‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea.’
‘I promise not to say anything embarrassing. In fact, you don’t even have to talk to me. You can say I’m the Uber driver if you want.’
‘That might work.’ Henry nodded and once again Briony couldn’t suppress a smile.
‘Just let me know the time and place and I’ll be at your service.’ Tristan gave a mock bow.
‘I will, thanks.’ Henry turned and opened one of the cupboards, grabbing a family-sized bag of crisps. ‘But I’ve got to go and do my homework now.’
‘See you later, kiddo.’ Tristan ruffled Henry’s hair as he walked past, on his way out of the kitchen, leaving Briony alone with him.
‘I haven’t been bowling in years.’ The words came out of her mouth before she thought them through, but there was no denying they sounded like a very heavy hint.
It shouldn’t have mattered, because Tristan had already said he’d take her wherever she wanted to go, but suddenly she was doubting whether he’d really meant it.
There was just something about his demeanour that seemed different.
‘Maybe we could go.’ Tristan’s response made her heart soar for a moment, but then his face seemed to change as he continued: ‘Just as friends.’
‘Of course.’ She forced a smile, wanting him to believe she’d never thought it might be more than that, but how could he believe that after their walk on the beach, when Tristan had told her how much he liked her and that he wanted to spend time with her.
The kiss they’d exchanged had said even more than his words and, no matter how good an actress she’d once thought she might be capable of becoming, she knew her disappointment must have been written all over her face.
Either way Tristan could clearly see right through the pretence.
‘It’s not that I don’t want to take you out on a proper date. I really like you, you know that. It’s just…’ He stopped, seeming unable to finish the sentence. ‘Sorry, forget it, I’m talking rubbish.’
‘It’s pretty hard to forget it when someone says something like that.’ Briony knew she shouldn’t be pushing it. She was asking to be told something she didn’t want to hear, but she couldn’t just leave it. She needed to know what it was that was making Tristan back off.
‘It’s just Bex told me that us getting involved might—’
‘Bex?’ She cut him off, not really needing to hear any more. It was pretty obvious how that conversation had gone. ‘Well, if you’ve spoken to my sister, you clearly know all there is to know about the downsides of getting involved with me. So maybe we should just give bowling a miss altogether.’
‘It wasn’t like that, she just—’
‘Look, it doesn’t matter.’ Briony cut him off for a second time. ‘I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to go bowling or anything else. Like Bex said, I’m not the sort of person you want to get involved with.’
‘She didn’t say that, just let me explain.
’ Tristan looked devastated, but she couldn’t trust what she thought she was seeing, not when she’d been so sure that he liked her as much as she liked him.
She’d had enough of trying to make people believe she was genuine and suddenly she felt more exhausted than she could ever remember being.
‘Sorry Tristan, but I’ve really got to get on with some work.
I need to do some filming in Woody.’ Briony snatched up her laptop and walked out of the kitchen before he could respond, with Merlin hot on her heels, tears burning her eyes.
She’d been such a fool. She’d really believed that this second chance with Bex might be a proper fresh start, but the mistakes of the past were always going to define who she was in her sister’s eyes, no matter how hard either of them might try to change that.
The realisation was already breaking her heart, but it would smash it to smithereens if she stayed.
The only solution was to run away for a second time, but she knew it was going to be even more devastating this time around.
Bex had been busy weeding the flower bed behind the sign welcoming visitors to Mordros Farm Campsite, when she’d spotted her sister striding towards her van.
It was good to see Briony looking so strong, but there was something about the set of her sister’s shoulders that made her uneasy.
Briony looked weighed down by life and even Merlin didn’t look like his usual self; there was no wag of his tail and his ears were down, as though he could pick up on Briony’s mood too.
Bex had no idea what had happened, but she knew she had to find out, fear already coursing through her veins that it might have something to do with her sister’s health, or their mum’s.
Dropping her hand trowel into the dirt, she hurried after Briony, but as fast as she was moving, the door of the van had already been slammed shut before she reached it.
‘Briony, what’s wrong?’ she called out, rapping her knuckle against the door.
‘Go away.’ Her sister sounded exactly like she had as a teenager when she was in the kind of bad mood that even she couldn’t explain the reason for.
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Bex tried the handle but it wouldn’t open. ‘For God’s sake, just let me in.’
‘No, go away.’
‘Let me in or I’ll just stand out here until you do, and we both know who’ll get fed up of waiting first.’ They’d had standoffs like this in the past and Briony had always been the one to cave in first. Maybe that explained why they’d spent so long in silence, because it had needed to be Bex who gave up the grudge that time around, and she didn’t know how to give up.
She’d had to be the strong one growing up, an adult way before her time, and Briony had always been able to be the child.
‘I don’t want to talk to you about this, there’s no point.’ Despite her words, Briony flung the door open as she spoke.
‘Look, I’ve got no idea what’s going on, but whatever it is, shutting down isn’t going to solve it.’
‘Christ, that’s rich coming from you. You shut down on me for sixteen years.’ There was a pulse twitching underneath Briony’s right eye.
‘Is that what this is about? I thought we’d agreed to move on from that and use this as a new beginning.’ Bex tried to keep her tone even, but she could hear the frustration in her own voice.
‘You agreed, you mean. I wanted to talk about what happened so that we could have a proper fresh start, instead of trying to paper over the cracks, but oh no, Bex knows best of course.’ Briony’s voice was shaking with emotion, but Bex couldn’t work out whether it was anger or something else.
Either way, she could no longer conceal her own annoyance.
‘What’s the point of raking it all up again, it’s not going to change what happened, is it?’
‘Nothing’s going to change what happened, and I’ve realised today that there can never be a fresh start between us, because you still think I’m the same person you decided I was back then; the one who cheated on her sister’s fiancé.
So whatever I do to try and show you I’m not her, you’re never going to believe it. ’
‘I’ve told you it doesn’t matter.’ Bex was still infuriated with her sister.
She wanted to put the past behind them, what more could she have done than open up her home and her heart to Briony?
But even as the frustration bubbled up inside her, she knew she wasn’t being entirely honest with herself, because she was still guarding a part of her heart and Briony must have been able to see that.
She wasn’t treating her the way she would have done if nothing had ever happened to cause a rift between them and that was causing her sister pain, something she’d never intended to do.
The sadness in Briony’s eyes made Bex’s throat constrict, but even if she’d been able to find the words to make things right, her sister wouldn’t have given her a chance to say them.
‘IT DOES MATTER!’ Briony was shouting now and, as Bex took a step towards her, she flinched away, using the now half-closed door of the campervan to create a barrier between them. ‘You warned Tristan to stay away from me, which tells me exactly what sort of person you think I am.’
Bex felt awful, because everything her sister was saying was true.
She had warned Tristan off, but it wasn’t that simple; she’d had her reasons and she’d been sure they were for the best. She suddenly realised that actually, this was exactly what Briony had said about what had happened with Liam.
It was like history repeating itself and she was terrified that the outcome would be the same too; that their relationship would be ruined all over again.
That was the last thing she wanted, and it made her stumble over her words as she tried to offer a response that wouldn’t make things even worse.
‘I didn’t say… That’s not what I meant.’
‘Yes, it is. I think it’ll be better for all of us if I just give us both some space and stay in the van.’ Briony’s tone was suddenly much calmer and for some reason that worried Bex even more.
‘You’re still not fully recovered, and you need to stay in the farmhouse until you are.’
‘I’m not a kid any more. You can’t tell me what to do.
’ The petulant tone was back and Bex couldn’t help sighing, a wave of exhaustion at all they’d been through over the past couple of months washing over her.
If Briony wanted to sulk like a little kid, Bex was just going to have to let her get on with it, until she was ready to see sense.
She might still be holding part of herself back and doing her best to trust her sister again, but most people would understand why that didn’t come easily.
However much Briony might wish that life was like a Hollywood movie, the reality was very different.
They couldn’t just wave a magic wand and instantly make things perfect between them again.
There were bound to be bumps in the road, but they had to navigate them together if they were going to make this work. Maybe it was time for some tough love.
‘You’re right. If you want to stay out here in your van I can’t stop you, but you know where to find me when you get over whatever this is.’
‘Yeah, and you know where to find me when you want to listen to what actually happened with Liam and decide if you can really forgive me, so that we can finally move on, but until then I think we’re better off apart.
’ Briony pushed the door closed with a gentle click, rather than an over-the-top slam, so she couldn’t see Bex standing there shaking her head.
Briony was just being dramatic as usual, but she’d come out the other side of her latest diva moment eventually, she always did.
Bex tried not to acknowledge that there was a first time for everything, because there was no way Briony was going to throw away their second chance.
The idea that Bex might be the one responsible for throwing it away instead niggled at the back of her mind, but she refused to acknowledge that thought either.
It would all be okay, because the alternative wasn’t an option.