Chapter 14 Rose
ROSE
My next few days were spent with my nose in the books Raith had given me or being fitted by a seamstress and her team in beautiful, elaborate gowns for my upcoming debut as Ilidan’s queen.
The only time I saw Raith was at supper, which he always attended for a short while before abruptly making an excuse and dashing from the room.
Every night he teleported somewhere, doing something he refused to speak about, and my mind ran wild, conjuring up different scenarios to explain his late-night escapades.
I imagined him sneaking into an illicit gambling hall, or meeting with a group of assassins to plot and scheme, or, worst of all, climbing into the bed of his mistress.
A lump formed in my throat at that last thought.
But then I remembered the way he’d carried me up the stairs the other night and tucked me into bed.
His touch had been so tender, and even in my half-asleep state his low voice had seemed to wrap around me like a warm blanket.
Sometimes I fancied he might have said I was beautiful and then kissed my forehead, but I quickly dismissed that as wishful thinking and nothing more.
Raith had been distant ever since that night and especially quiet at supper, no matter how much I tried to initiate conversation.
To break the tense silence, I told him about each of my sisters, about Dahlia’s secret room in the castle, about the striped cat I had growing up named Whiskers, and a dozen other things about myself that he probably had little interest in.
And every time he left me alone halfway through our meal I wondered, why did I even bother?
Once I finally finished Raith’s latest pile of books, I searched him out and found him in his study.
The door was slightly ajar and I paused before entering, letting my eyes linger on his profile.
He stood over a large tome, his head bent in concentration, a strand of black hair falling over his brow.
I’d caught him in a rare, unguarded moment, and my heart ached at the sight.
I found myself holding my breath, hoping to delay him noticing me so I could drink in the sight of him a little while longer.
It was such an unexpected pleasure to be able to stare at him as long as I liked without his disapproving gray eyes piercing right through me.
Instead I could simply let my gaze rest on his sharp jaw, which was dusted with a light coat of stubble that crept down his neck and into the high collar of his black cloak.
I imagined trailing my fingers down it and wondered what it would feel like against my skin. Or my tongue…
Raith’s head jerked toward me, his eyes narrowing. “Yes?”
And just like that, the moment was ruined.
I straightened up, hoping he couldn’t tell what I’d been thinking about from my flushed cheeks or slightly parted lips, then crossed the room to his desk.
I set down the stack of books I’d completely forgotten I was holding while I’d been gaping at him.
“I’m finished with your latest round of busywork.
Do you have another stack of books ready for me? ”
“Perhaps.” One of his perfect, dark eyebrows lifted up. “What was your analysis of what you read?”
“Beyond the fact that each one was a total bore…” I tilted my head as I considered.
“Some fae theorize that magic was given to us by the Sun and Moon to protect and guide the people, while others claim it was meant for us to rule with. But from what I read, the Six Kingdoms have been at war as far back as history has been recorded, and in many cases magic only made things worse, not better. Magic is not a gift, but a responsibility.”
He leaned against his desk, crossing his arms as he appraised me.
“A sound analysis. As you said, magic is not to be used lightly, and those who have it can shape the world, but perhaps they shouldn’t.
We must always be careful how we use our magic, especially since we are already in a position of power and privilege.
Do you see now why I wanted you to understand that? ”
“You don’t want me to be reckless or overconfident. Or to think that using magic can solve every problem. Or to become a tyrant intent on conquering other kingdoms like my father.”
“Indeed.” His intelligent gray eyes stared at me so long I thought he must be reading my thoughts or peering deep into my soul. “Perhaps you’re ready for the next lesson.”
He straightened up and walked out of the room without another word.
I grabbed my skirts and followed him like a puppy tailing its master and hoping for a treat.
He’d likely hand me another massive pile of thick, dusty history books, but maybe I could convince him to show me a new rune also.
Just one, at least. I would take anything at this point.
He strode into his magical workshop and I hurried a little faster.
The door slammed shut behind us, making me jump, and then we were surrounded by all of his books, flasks, and other artifacts.
Every time I entered this room, I sensed all the things I didn’t know yet, the runes I could learn, and the vast potential I wanted nothing more than to unlock.
He moved to one side of the room and scanned the bookshelf with the skull on it, while I practically quivered with anticipation.
When he grabbed a thick book, my heart sank a little, even though it was what I’d been expecting.
But instead of handing it to me, he opened it on the table in the center and flipped to a page about halfway through.
“There,” he said, pointing to something on the page. “This is the spell you cast the first time we met.”
I moved up behind him to peer down at the book.
The pages were old and filled with runes, the intricate designs done in black ink with a heavy hand.
Excitement rose up within me. This book was even bigger than my mother’s spell book and must hold so many runes I didn’t know yet. “Yes, that’s the one.”
“Cast it again now.”
I drew in a surprised breath and took a few steps back, before raising my hand to trace the shape of the rune. Silvery light followed my fingers as the power grew within me and the ice shard formed in the air.
“No, no, no,” Raith said, holding up a hand to stop me.
My fingers froze and the half-finished shard vanished, disintegrating into nothing. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “First of all, your execution is incorrect. Study the rune again and make sure to get it right next time. And second, you’re trying to form the rune with your hand, instead of with your mind.”
My brow furrowed. “I don’t see how there is a difference.”
“Of course you don’t.” He huffed. “Watch me.”
He slowly and very deliberately cast the same rune I’d been practicing, except the silvery light was stronger, emanating with his intense, controlled power. Sun and Moon, his magic was strong. I’d once heard his only equal was the High Queen herself, and now I truly believed it.
At the end of his rune he added a small circle, and the magic flashed bright before shifting into a perfect, ornate snowflake hovering between us.
The icicles were so delicate, the design so elaborate, I couldn’t imagine how he had created something so beautiful out of nothing but his own magic and willpower.
“Each rune is simply a base spell,” he said, as he drew more runes, creating different snowflakes in the air, each one unique.
He moved gracefully, almost as if he were a painter and the world his canvas, and soon the room glittered with frost and ice.
“Once you understand the various complexities of the symbols involved, you can change them to suit your will. Add a flourish here, subtract a line there, and so forth. But the runes are not what really matters—it’s all about intent.
The runes are simply a way for you to channel your magic into something more specific and precise. ”
I reached out to touch the nearest snowflake, enchanted by its beauty, but it crumbled away when my fingers brushed against it. I’d studied magic for years on my own, but had never been able to make anything like that before. My runes were crude compared to what Raith could do.
Humbled, I bowed my head. “What must I do?”
He ran a hand along his stubbled jaw as he considered me, then grabbed something off the table. A long strip of black cloth.
“I’m going to put this over your eyes,” he said, as he stepped toward me.
My heart jumped into my throat, but I nodded.
He moved behind me, brushing my hair out of the way, and I shivered slightly at his light touch.
As he wrapped the silky black cloth around my head and plunged me into darkness, I remembered tales I’d heard of men and women doing this sort of thing in more…
intimate ways. Heat rushed between my legs as he tied the knot behind my head, while I imagined what he might do to me next.
How his hands might travel down my body…
“Now,” he said, his voice right at my ear. “Cast the rune.”
I quickly banished those sensual thoughts from my mind. All Raith wanted was a student, nothing more. I couldn’t let myself forget that, because when I did it only hurt more once I was reminded of the truth.
I willed my hand to be steady as I began to trace the rune from memory.
I tried to put as much power and grace into it as Raith had done, but doubt and uncertainty crept in and I knew my sad attempt at a snowflake looked nothing as fine as his.
When my arm dropped, I didn’t even need to take off the blindfold to know I’d failed.
“This isn’t working,” I said.
“Have some patience. That’s half your problem.”
Now he sounded like Lily. I was about to bite out a reply, when his cool fingers wrapped around my wrist, making me jump. He moved behind me, his hard chest pressed against my back, as he raised my arm up.
“We’ll do it together.” His hand slid over mine, guiding my index finger.
My heart pounded so loud I was sure he could hear it, and all I could think about was how close he was to me.
How he was touching me with a firm, yet gentle grip.
How he smelled like sparks and shadows. Surely it would be impossible for me to cast anything like this, especially as all the torrid thoughts returned in full force.
I wanted nothing more than to learn back into his chest and nuzzle against him, the way I’d done when he’d carried me to bed the other night.
But as we began tracing the rune, my lack of vision helped me focus my mind until there was nothing but me and him and the magic.
It surged between us, swelling and growing eagerly like a bonfire jumping to life, filling me with power.
I gasped as the spell flowed out of us together, forming a silver rune so bright it shone through the blindfold.
When he released my wrist, I tugged the cloth down to see a snowflake hovering before us that was larger and even more beautiful and complex than any of the ones he’d done.
“Nice work.” His breath tickled my neck. “Your magic is stronger than I expected.”
Was it? His praise glowed within me like an ember on a cold day. I turned my head toward him, my lips dangerously close to his mouth. “Thank you.”
He lingered there for a breath, his eyes searching mine, the moment thick with anticipation. But then he quickly stepped back, and the connection between us was immediately severed. “Don’t thank me yet. You still have a long way to go.”
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “Then do it again.”
I cast the frost rune a dozen more times, but it was never the same as when we’d performed the spell together.
Conjuring magic together had been intoxicating.
Was that what it felt like every time Raith used his magic?
I couldn’t imagine having all that raw power inside me trying to get out, and admired his control.
Or was the magic stronger because we’d been doing it together?
When Raith was satisfied with my progress, he closed the large book with a snap, sending a cloud of dust into the air. “Take this book and practice the runes in the first chapter every single day. Do it in a secluded area of the garden where you can’t hurt anyone with your floundering.”
My eyebrows darted up. “Does that mean I’m allowed to leave the castle alone now? Has the threat passed?”
“During the day, yes. But don’t leave the castle grounds.”
“I understand,” I said solemnly, though inside I was jumping up and down like a child about to get cake. “And after I finish the first chapter?”
“When I decide you’re ready, we’ll start on the second one.”
I nodded and took the book, excited to pore through it and begin my true magical studies.
As I held it against my chest like the precious gift it was, I couldn’t help but smile as I walked to the door.
There was a lot of work ahead of me, but I looked forward to it.
Not only because I was finally fulfilling my dream of following in my mother’s footsteps and becoming a fae mage, but because magic was one of the few things Raith and I had in common.
The one thing binding us together other than our unfortunate circumstances and the sins of our forefathers.
If that was all I would ever get from Raith, I would savor each moment of it.
At the door I turned back to him. “Is it always like that when you use your magic?” I asked, before I could change my mind. “Or was it…different with the two of us?”
He stared at me so long I worried he might not answer, before he finally said, “No, it’s not always like that.”