Chapter 18 Rose
ROSE
Iwoke with a new sense of purpose and determination.
I was going to find a way to save Ilidan from this threat, whatever it took.
Raith obviously needed my help, even if he refused to admit it.
He couldn’t keep fighting the darkness on his own for much longer.
It was already running him ragged, and even he admitted he was losing the battle.
At least if I helped, he might be able to get some sleep now and then.
I marched toward his workshop, where I found him pouring something into a large flask. He traced a rune on the side of the glass and the liquid began to bubble, sending pale yellow smoke into the air.
“What is that?” I asked. “Something to help fight the shadows?”
He gave a soft snort. “Hardly. It’s a potion to ease toothache. One of the kitchen staff asked me for it.”
“That’s kind of you.” I leaned forward to examine it, but the smell of rotten egg made me cover my nose. I grabbed a stool and sat on it, smoothing out my skirts. “I want to know more about the darkness. What’s causing the attacks? Where did it start? How often does it happen?”
He leveled his gaze at me and did not look amused. Not at all. “I told you I didn’t want you involved in this matter.”
“And I told you that Ilidan is my home now, and it’s people are my responsibility too. It’s clear you don’t think I can help, but you won’t know that until we try. I bring a fresh perspective to the matter.”
“You bring trouble, is what you bring.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face, looking exhausted again.
My chest ached with the desire to comfort him or ease his troubles however I could.
“As I said last night, it started almost three years ago on the eastern side of the kingdom. I’m not sure why or how, and the attacks have been increasing in frequency.
They used to occur every few months. Then every few weeks. Now it’s nearly every night.”
“What is causing it?”
“No one knows, but I believe the Shadow Lord is sending the darkness. He’s been spotted near some of the areas that have been attacked, though I’ve never encountered him myself. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time though.”
“The Shadow Lord,” I said in nearly a whisper. He ruled another realm, the one the fae stepped inside to teleport, but little else was known about him. “Why would he do this?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps he’s upset because I have an affinity for shadow. Perhaps I’ve done something to offend him. Perhaps he simply wants to take over this kingdom.” He ran a hand through his black hair. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever his motive, the attacks continue.”
I remembered that huge shadowy profile I’d glimpsed from the window outside the castle. “I think I saw him once. On my first night here.”
His face darkened. “He grows bolder every day. More reason for you to stay out of this.”
“I’m not staying out of it. In fact, I want to go with you next time to fight the darkness.”
“I already said no.”
“Raith, look at you. You’re so exhausted you can barely stand. You need my help.”
His eyes narrowed. “Show me you can cast runes without using your hands, and then I’ll consider it.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
“My father never let me use my hands. He said that was for the weak. True fae mages need not do such things.” He tilted his head as he appraised me.
“If you think you can fight the Shadow Lord’s minions, you’ll need to be able to cast spells quickly, faster than you can draw runes.
Otherwise they will cut you down where you stand. ”
I swallowed. “I don’t think I’m strong enough.”
“You are. You’re more powerful than you know.”
His confidence in me was refreshing, but confusing. Did he want my help or not? Either way he was getting it, so I supposed I’d better try at least.
I concentrated on the fire rune, since that one was nearly as easy for me to cast as breathing, but my fingers kept jumping up to trace the symbol in the air. I let out a frustrated sound and tried again, but couldn’t do it.
“Let me help,” Raith said.
He moved behind me, close enough to make my heart skip a beat, then took my hands in his own. He pulled my arms behind me as if holding me captive, his fingers circling my wrists, and the pose was so intimate it sent a rush of heat between my legs. “Cast the rune now.”
I tugged against his grip lightly. “I can’t.”
“You can. I know you can.” His mouth brushed against my hair. “Show me.”
At first, I couldn’t even conjure the rune in my mind, not with Raith touching me like this.
All I could think about was how I wished his hands and mouth would go even further.
Or how I could turn my head and brush my lips across his if I was brave enough.
I wondered what he would do. Would he pull away? Or kiss me back even harder?
I drew in a breath and tried to focus. Thinking about Raith like that wouldn’t help with fighting the darkness.
I had to prove to him I was the one who could stand at his side against whatever we faced, and to do that, I needed to cast this spell.
Yet every time I tried, my hand started to lift up to draw it, and Raith held me back.
I let out a soft cry and tried to break free, but he restrained me tighter.
Not enough to harm me, and I could certainly pull away if I truly wanted, but enough to make his point.
I remembered the other time he stood behind me, when he’d blindfolded me and practiced tracing the runes with me.
His hands were on me then too. I closed my eyes as I envisioned it, the way we’d cast the spell together, how it had felt when both of our powers had mingled.
With a gasp, the magic flowed out of me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw it—a glowing ball of fire hovering in front of us.
“It’s a start,” Raith said, as he released my wrists. “Now do it again.”
Raith made me practice until supper time, and even then I didn’t think he was truly satisfied.
Casting the runes in my mind did not come naturally to me, and half the time I ended up using my hands out of habit, but I would keep trying.
I would get better somehow. If there was one thing I possessed, it was sheer stubbornness.
As we sat down at the dining table, I slumped back in my seat, completely exhausted. “I suppose you won’t let me help you anytime soon after that display.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most fae can’t cast runes with their minds at all. I’m surprised you got it so quickly, actually.”
His rare praise made me pause. “You are?”
“It takes most fae many years of training to even get close to that level, but you’re a fast learner and you’re determined.” He lifted his spoon, but hesitated. “Perhaps all those years practicing on your own were not wasted after all.”
I couldn’t stop the smile bursting out of me. I wanted to jump on the table and do a little jig. I wanted to grab his face and press my mouth against his. “Maybe you can teach me to make potions next.”
He let out a groan, but there was an amused look on his face as well. A slight twitch of his lips as if he might actually smile. I longed for that moment. Someday I’d get there. Someday he’d open up to me. Someday he wouldn’t be able to resist.
Oren entered the room and bent over Raith to speak quietly with him. Raith’s brow creased at whatever Oren said, before he nodded.
Raith rose to his feet. “I’m sorry Rose, but I must cut our supper short.” He strode from the room before I could utter a word, while Oren cast me an apologetic look.
I threw my napkin on the table and ran after my husband, down the long hall toward his study. “Raith, wait! Where are you going?”
He spun toward me so fast I nearly ran into him. “I go to face the darkness, as I do every night.”
“Let me come with you.”
“No.” He continued walking, his pace brisk.
I followed right at his heels. “You said I could help as long as I could cast spells without drawing the runes, and I can.”
“Barely.”
“Raith, please!” I caught his hand, pulling him back toward me. “Let me help you!”
He towered over me, but instead of pushing me away, he took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. “Rose, you are the one thing in the world I still hold dear. I will not risk losing you too.”
His mouth landed on mine, capturing anything I might have said in reply.
He tasted like red wine and stormy nights and every secret I’d always wanted to uncover.
I’d been kissed before, but never with such intense passion, and never with a yearning so strong I thought it might burn me up from the inside.
His long fingers slid into my hair, pulling me closer, his lips moving with mine in an intimate dance I never wanted to end.
But then he released me with a tortured groan and took a step back.
All I could do was stand there, completely stunned by his words and his kiss, while he vanished before my eyes.
I touched my lips, my heart aching anew knowing he would be out there fighting the shadows on his own—and there was nothing I could do to help him.
Not yet anyway.