Chapter Thirty-Four
The night before they left for Austin, Sam slept over at Connor’s apartment so they could make an early start.
Sam still felt the need to let his mom know when he wouldn’t be home, which Connor found adorable, but he knew it was one of the reasons Sam was so excited to get his own place.
They’d looked at a couple of listings together online while Sam obsessed over details like natural light and commute time to the office.
For a place as small as Oakdale, Connor didn’t see the issue, but he could appreciate Sam’s dedication to the task.
That morning, when he and Sam piled into the van, bleary-eyed and steeled for a solid eleven hours of driving, Connor spotted the brown paper bag with his father’s medication still sitting on the dashboard.
He’d stopped by the drugstore, at his mom’s request, only to be pulled into an emergency job and had forgotten all about dropping it off.
They’d have to make a quick detour before getting on the road.
There had been a lot on Connor’s mind lately.
His dad had finally been discharged from the hospital and was back at home.
That was taking some adjusting, especially with the additional monitoring his specialist had insisted on.
They’d been assigned a home nurse, who came by once a week to check on him, and his mom was given specific instructions on how to prepare meals to minimize the chances of accidental aspiration.
Then there was the trip to Austin with Sam.
It was the farthest from Oakdale Connor had ever traveled if he didn’t count his family’s ill-fated road trip to the Grand Canyon when he was eleven.
They’d made it as far as Colorado before the car broke down, and angry and tired, his father had pulled the plug on the whole excursion.
Running his own business meant Connor’s dad hadn’t been able to take much time off, and money was always tight, so classic childhood vacations to Disneyland or the capital had never materialized.
Sam had opened up to him about his challenges with anxiety and depression, and Connor knew how important it was for him to close the chapter with Felix, but he worried that confronting the past might stir up difficult feelings for Sam.
And if Connor was honest, he was afraid the trip would only serve to highlight what Sam was missing.
Oakdale had nothing on a city like Austin.
What if he regrets his decision to stay?
Connor pulled the van up outside his parents’ house and unclipped his seat belt.
“I’ll just be a second,” he told Sam as he grabbed the prescription bag.
He made it outside and onto the sidewalk before stopping in his tracks, struck by a sudden clarity.
He turned back and opened the passenger door, poking his head inside.
“Um, do you maybe want to come with me? To meet my parents.”
Sam gave him a quizzical look. “Connor, I’ve met your parents.”
“I meant more like, could I introduce you? Make it official?” Connor tried to sound flippant despite his racing pulse. “Only if that’s cool with you.”
The realization dawned on Sam’s face. Then he blushed. “Yeah, of course.”
Connor’s heart leapt.
Sam snapped down the sun visor and glanced at his reflection in the pocket mirror. He fiddled with his hair, smoothing it at the front. “I look like shit, though.”
“Uh-oh. Were you planning a facial before the big reveal?”
Sam pressed at the slight smudges beneath his eyes. “It wouldn’t hurt. Especially with these pores.”
“You look gorgeous.” Connor leaned in to kiss his anxious pout. “Please allow me to present my gorgeous, just-rolled-out-of-bed boyfriend to Mom and Dad.”
“As long as you don’t tell them it was your bed I rolled out of.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
Sam made a face. “Sex and parents will never not be weird.”
“Tell me about it.”
They walked up to the house, and Connor gave a polite knock before heading inside. His mom was making coffee in the kitchen while his dad sat at the counter, reading the newspaper.
“Sam, this is a surprise!” his mother exclaimed. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“No, thank you, Mrs. Finnegan,” Sam said, all smiles.
“We’re actually about to get on the road. I just wanted to drop this off first.” Connor handed her the bag from the drugstore. “Sorry for the delay.”
“That’s right. You’re heading to Austin, aren’t you?”
Sam nodded. “Just for the weekend. Connor’s helping me pick up my stuff.”
Connor cleared his throat and barreled ahead before he could lose his nerve. “So, I wanted you both to know that Sam and I are... together. He’s my, uh, boyfriend, and I’d like him to feel welcome here.”
His mother’s eyes misted over, and she gave a series of rapid nods. “Of course. I’d love for you to feel like part of the family, Sam.” She put down the medication and pulled a surprised-looking Sam into a hug.
At the counter, his father folded the newspaper closed without a word.
Despite their brief conversation at the hospital, Connor bristled with trepidation.
But this time, he was ready. If his dad said anything cruel to Sam, he wasn’t about to sit back and let him.
He was done letting his father’s opinions dictate his life.
If his dad had a problem with Connor, it was his problem alone.
His dad took his time getting to his feet and turned to Sam. He held out his hand. Sam took it, and they shook hands soberly. “I guess we’ll be seeing more of you, then.”
“Hope that’s not a bad thing,” Sam quipped. His tone was light, but Connor could tell he was nervous.
His father gave a noncommittal grunt. “I’d say, by the looks of it, that’s a good thing.”
Connor stared down at the floor, fighting the swell of love mixed with relief. He knew if he caught Sam’s eye now, he’d be in danger of losing it altogether.
Nebraska and then Kansas passed in a blur.
They stopped for lunch at a diner in Oklahoma City then got back on I-35 and continued south.
The drive didn’t feel as long as Sam had anticipated.
There was an easiness to being with Connor that made the time fly.
He’d first noticed it when they started working together and even the most boring task took on an element of fun.
Sam made Connor give him a blow-by-blow account of what he’d missed in his ten years away from Oakdale—which turned out to include not one but two shotgun weddings and the arrival of a man who was convinced he was the living reincarnation of Thomas Jefferson.
When they weren’t talking, they listened to the playlist Connor had somehow found time to compile for the trip, which proved an entertaining backdrop to the drive.
Connor knew plenty of stories about his favorite artists and gave Sam a heads-up when they were approaching a gnarly guitar solo.
Sam felt like he’d stumbled upon yet another hidden side of Connor—the gushing fanboy.
It was cute and nerdy and right up Sam’s alley, just like Connor’s unabashed love of trivia.
Shortly after crossing the border into Texas, Sam reached over to rest a palm on Connor’s thigh. Connor dropped one hand from the steering wheel and placed it on top of Sam’s, threading their fingers. Sam gave him a sidelong look and slid his hand farther up so it rested just below Connor’s crotch.
“Easy, tiger,” Connor said with a grin. “We’ve got a ways to go yet.”
Sam snickered. It was hard to be around someone he wanted to touch all the time. “So,” he said as they navigated the maze of highways heading into Dallas. “This is your first time in Austin. Anything you want to see while you’re there?”
Connor appeared to ponder the question. “I’m not sure. I don’t know much about the city. Is there anywhere you loved that you want to show me?”
Sam wondered if he’d enjoy visiting the capitol building or checking out the homespun character of SoCo. But Connor wasn’t super into shopping. Maybe a cruise on the Colorado River or hiking the Greenbelt...
“Let me think about it. There’s a ton of fun stuff to do.”
Connor shot him a hesitant look. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What’s your ex like?”
Sam let out a nervous laugh. “What do you mean?”
“Like, what was your dynamic?”
“Are we talking sex?”
“No, just in general.” Connor thrummed the fingers of his left hand against the steering wheel. “For example, if he suggested a place to eat, would you guys decide together?”
Sam shrugged. “I don’t really get hung up on that sort of thing.”
“So you’d go along with his suggestion?”
“I guess.”
“What about when you didn’t?”
Sam opened his mouth to speak and then closed it. He couldn’t for the life of him remember a time when he hadn’t. Felix was always adamant and convincing and knew all the best places—“You’ll love it, Sam.” And Sam had gone. Even if he didn’t always love it.
“Honestly, I can’t remember. But it just didn’t feel like the kind of thing worth fighting about.”
“Okay. What was worth fighting about? Where would you draw the line?”
Fucking other people. But Sam hadn’t been very good at pushing his point on that either. “Well, I was never okay with his fidelity issues.”
Connor turned to him, looking surprised. “He cheated on you? Is that why you guys broke up?”
Sam shook his head. “It’s embarrassing to admit, but no, that wasn’t enough for me to break things off.”
Connor fell silent. After a moment, he spoke. “Did he make you feel like what you had to say wasn’t worth hearing?”
Sam’s throat tightened, and he was afraid if he spoke, his voice would crack. Not that there was anything to say. Connor was right.
“I want you to know that I’m listening,” Connor said quietly, looking straight ahead. “Don’t be afraid to speak up with me. You have a right to be heard, even if he didn’t think so.”
Sam blinked back tears and nodded. Then Connor squeezed his hand, and Sam squeezed it back.