Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
MAX
Aspen shows up at my front door the day after the Halloween party. She’s holding a hot Americano and a breakfast sandwich up as a peace offering, and I groan, letting her in. I know what she’s here about.
I left right after making a scene last night, and I figured I’d have to apologize at some point.
“Come on in.” I hold the door open and she follows me to my room so we can talk in private.
Aspen takes a seat on the edge of my bed, and I sit in my desk chair. I break open the sandwich wrapper. I am starving.
Last night after I ditched the party, I went to the closest bar, and I am fighting the world’s worst hangover. I drank way too much vodka and hit on all the hot women at the bar.
My Superman costume, albeit low effort, was a crowd-pleaser.
Although, come to think of it, I don’t know where my glasses ended up.
I took them off at one point when I was making out with someone in the bar bathroom, but I thought I got them back after that.
To be honest, it’s the most I’ve drunk in a long time.
I’d forgotten hangovers aren’t as easy as they were when I was nineteen.
“Look, I’m sorry about last night.” I sigh.
“I’m not here to yell at you, if that’s what you think. But I do appreciate the apology.” Aspen offers a half smile as she sips her iced coffee.
“Oh, then, what’s going on?” I raise an eyebrow.
“I wanted to talk about what happened last night. Maybe you can explain it to me? Because River and I have gotten a million different versions of it.”
“You can’t ask Cari?” I grit my teeth.
“She…well, she doesn’t remember.”
“What do you mean she doesn’t remember?” I drink my coffee, relaxing as it tastes the way I like it.
“She sort of blacked out last night. I’m not here to start anything, but she drank so much she was sick in my bathroom all night. River and I had to make sure she didn’t have to go to the hospital. She slept over, and this morning she didn’t remember anything,” Aspen explains.
I wince, feeling a twinge of guilt. Not that it was my fault she drank that much, but I know I played a part in it. I had hoped to go to the party, maybe see her, and hook up with her if the moment moved that way. I didn’t plan out every second of my life like she wanted me to.
“She was jealous that I was talking to your friend Sara. Sara showed up in a Superwoman costume, and Cari freaked out, thinking I planned a matching costume with someone else. Which is something I’d never do, and I sort of lost it.
I told her she wasn’t my girlfriend and whatever was going on between us was over.
She obviously didn’t take it too well.” I sigh.
“Okay, that makes a lot more sense.” Aspen nods. “Do you know what Gus has to do with any of this? Because somehow they were maybe involved too?”
I sigh, again. “At one point, Cari was hooking up with Gus and me at the same time. I didn’t really care; we weren’t serious, but then I think she was using them to make me jealous.
I don’t know entirely what happened, but it seemed to have something to do with Gus being with that singer,” I explain.
“Ah,” Aspen says. “Damn, why are lesbians so freaking messy?” She chuckles.
“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m not doing anything with anyone remotely involved with our group.” I take the last bite of my sandwich and toss the wrapper away.
“Were you and Cari dating, or was it just a friends with benefits thing?” Aspen asks. It’s the first time she’s directly asked me about it, so I’m honest with her. I know she wouldn’t be asking if she didn’t have a good reason.
“Friends with benefits, sort of. She was getting a little too clingy, and I thought maybe she had feelings for me, so I was trying to keep her at arm’s length. We were mainly just hooking up.” I shrug.
“You know, it’s been a long time since you almost married Chelsea. You don’t ever think about being in a relationship again?” Aspen asks.
“Nope.” I clench my fist.
Aspen and I have been friends for close to a decade now, meeting when she moved to California, ironically, to get away from River. She was the maid of honor at my non-wedding and stood beside me when Chelsea chose to embarrass me in front of everyone we loved.
She couldn’t even make it down the aisle, sending one of her friends down instead to tell me she wasn’t coming.
Forcing me to hold it together as I thanked everyone for coming.
Only being able to unravel with Aspen while I cried on her couch for weeks.
She carried me through that until she told me to get off my ass and get back to work.
We don’t talk about Chelsea too often, but when we do, she knows how thankful I am for her help in getting me back to normal.
“I’m not here to pry, and I know this is probably your therapist’s job, but have you worked on that?”
“On what? The fact that she left me at the fucking altar? Oh yeah, love talking about that,” I say sarcastically.
Aspen frowns. “I just meant, you were so different when you were with her. You wanted to get married, be with someone forever. It seems crazy to me that you haven’t dated a single person since.”
“Well, it fucks you up when someone you thought you’d spend forever with does that to you. Especially in such a public way. And then not six months later, they marry someone else. It’s hard not to leave a mark.” I clench my jaw. I usually avoided talking about this, and Aspen knows that.
“But not everyone is Chelsea, and I don’t believe that wanting those things magically went away. I think they’re still there and that’s why it’s not working with Cari or anyone else,” Aspen says.
“Did you just come here to tell me how to feel?” I snap.
“No, I’m here because I’m your best friend.
And frankly, I’m a little worried about you.
I understand not wanting a relationship, but doing 180 from how you felt a few years ago is concerning.
I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.
It’s valid that Chelsea left a mark on you, but I don’t want one experience to dictate the rest of your life. ” Aspen sighs.
“Not all of us can magically reconnect with our ex and fall in love and have everything work out for once.” I scoff.
“I’m going to let that one slide because you’re hungover and I’m bringing up tough shit. But I’m being serious. I don’t want you to miss out on something or someone good because you’re not healed from this,” Aspen says.
“Maybe I am healed, and this is just how I’ve chosen to be.
Have you considered that? It’s normal for people to change.
I’m not the same naive twenty-four year old who thought she’d get married.
I don’t live in California anymore, I don’t drink tequila anymore, and maybe I just don’t believe in long-term monogamy. ” I shrug.
“If I believed you for a second, I’d let this go, but I know you well enough to drop it for now. Just don’t be surprised if you hear from Cari; she feels bad about last night. I think River hid her phone, but when she gets it back, she might try apologizing,” Aspen warns.
“Got it. I can’t wait for that text,” I say sarcastically.
“You seem to be in a great mood. I’m glad I brought food. I’d hate to see what you would’ve been like without it,” Aspen jokes.
“Look, I appreciate you worrying and the food. But I just want to be alone today. My head is killing me, and we have the engagement shoot tomorrow,” I remind her.
“Okay, I can take the hint. But promise me you’ll call me if you change your mind about talking about this?” Aspen asks hopefully.
“Sure.” I nod. She drops her head, knowing I’m agreeing to get her out of my hair.
She heads out the front door just as Rachel is coming back in with Frisky. They exchange a quick hello, and we close the door behind them.
“Aspen was here early, all good?” Rachel asks. She gives me a look, and I know she knows something. She was at the party last night. I’m sure she has one of the versions of what happened.
“I know you know something, please just tell me what it is so I can get some sleep,” I grumble.
“You know I don’t give in to gossip. Cari posted some videos to Instagram last night. I don’t know if they’re still up, but I took screen recordings just in case, to show you. I didn’t know where you went after the party.”
“What was in the videos?” I ask, confused.
“Last night when you left, there was a bit of talk about you screaming at Cari and how she didn’t handle it so well. The videos were posted to her story of her crying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. And one of her songs, I think, was dedicated to you,” Rachel explains.
“You’re joking?” I deadpan. Cari’s social media brand means everything to her. It was all perfectly curated and scheduled ahead of time. No way would she wreck that by looking drunk and insane for her fans.
“I don’t know if it’s still up, but it was last night.” Rachel reaches into her back pocket, unlocks her phone, and hands it to me.
On the screen plays a video of Cari, mascara streaking down her cheeks.
She’s in the living room of the party, with what looks like a Cheeto in her hair, singing at the top of her lungs.
I have to really listen, but I realize it’s the song ‘Death of a Bachelor’ by Panic!
At the Disco. Cari sings the lyrics off-key:
Alone at a table for two, and I just wanna be served
And when you think of me, am I the best you’ve ever had?
Share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad
Then the video changes, she’s in a different room, first just a close-up of her face, like she’s just opened her camera. She’s got her head resting on the white porcelain that must be Aspen’s toilet.
“Well, don’t listen to me, guys. Apparently, I know nothing.
I thought—” She stops to gag, I think she’s about to throw up on camera, but she stops.
“I thought this was something real. I thought she liked me, but of course not. I was so stupid. How could I wreck everything? Everyone is better off without me. I always wreck everything.” She starts sobbing, and then the video cuts off.
“Holy shit.” I hand Rachel back the phone. Cari looked like she had hit rock bottom.
“I don’t think it’s your fault. I know there was a lot going on last night. But I thought you should know, people thought maybe you broke up with her or something. I tried to clear up any rumors I heard, but you know how gossip is.” Rachel frowns.
I pull out my phone to see if there’s anything still posted from last night. But everything seems to have been taken down; no wonder Aspen was checking in on me. Cari looked absolutely wrecked. I knew she wasn’t going to take this well, but did she do all of this because of me?