Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
MAX
Cari’s Instagram story is the first thing I see when I check Instagram.
She posted it like nineteen hours ago, but it wasn’t like I was trying to check up on her.
She’d texted me a few times apologizing for the party, but I didn’t answer.
I didn’t have anything more to say to her, at least for now.
I didn’t want to get sucked into her drama and stress myself out.
I had enough going on with work and life that I didn’t need someone I wasn’t even dating causing drama.
I click through her story, flipping through the next half dozen before I get bored and put my phone away. I check my watch and glance at the client. It was a surprise engagement shoot, but it was supposed to start twenty minutes ago.
“I’m so sorry, my fiancé is on the way. Her sister said she was wearing sweats, and if you knew my fiancé, she never wears sweats.
So she had to persuade her to change clothes.
” My client, Jeremiah, says. His forehead is glistening lightly with sweat, and I know it’s due more to nerves than the weather.
“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time,” I reassure him.
I knew he was worried about the sun setting too quickly or before she could get here, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I could always offer to do some quick Photoshop later; it wouldn’t be the first time. But I knew he’d rather have an authentic photo.
“She’s here!” he cheers, seeing a text on his phone.
“Perfect.” I hold up my camera looking to see the best angle with the current direction of the sun. “Right over here is perfect, but I can follow you. I know you want it as natural as possible.”
“Thank you, Max.” He takes a deep breath, and his fiancée is led, blindfolded, toward him.
“Jer?” she asks when she gets close enough. She must smell his cologne or something because there’s no way she can see through the silk scarf. But I’m taking photos anyway, and when he takes off the blindfold, she gasps.
“Oh my goodness! You did this!?” She pushes his chest playfully as tears fall from her eyes.
“I know our engagement was personal and just for us, but you’ve always said you wanted photos we could share.
I wanted it to be someplace special, and this was the first place I saw you, running with my brother, and you were scarfing down a hot dog like no other.
I knew in that moment I had to meet you,” Jeremy says as I sidestep to make sure I get all the angles.
“I can’t believe you did this. And I almost wore sweats!” She laughs when she realizes. I manage to capture it completely, the way he’s looking at her and the pure joy on her face.
“You could’ve worn anything, but I knew you’d never forgive me if you didn’t dress up.” He chuckles.
I take a step back to get a broader view, so I can’t hear what they’re saying anymore.
But he holds her, brushing loose hair out of her face and taking the time to kiss her.
The sun is the perfect shades of pink and orange behind them, along with the cityscape illuminating around them.
There aren’t too many people around them, making it a fairly secluded part of the park, which will make touch-ups even easier.
He’s whispering something in her ear, and she’s looking at him in awe, when something hits me in the chest like a brick. Am I ever going to have that?
I thought I had it with Chelsea, but that was clearly all a lie.
I am getting closer and closer to thirty every week, and although I’m not normally one to think about such patriarchal ideas, it is something I’m thinking about.
Am I going to find someone who complements me the way Jeremy and Missy so obviously complemented each other?
Even River and Aspen are so perfect together.
It’s hard to imagine them ever being apart.
I used to think maybe that would happen with Chelsea, that she’d come back and realize she made a mistake. But I know now that it wouldn’t matter; I deserve someone who knows they want me without embarrassing me in front of all our loved ones.
Cari pops into my head, and I unknowingly let out a deep sigh.
It’s not that I don’t care for her, but I can’t put myself through another Chelsea.
Not that they were similar in personality, but in the way they went about things.
Cari is a bit unhinged, to say the least, and I need someone a bit more stable.
I can’t text twenty-four seven or consistently reassure my partner I’m not cheating on them or talking to anyone else.
I just want to live my life and have someone who could also live theirs, and let them intertwine sometimes.
I finish up the shoot with Jeremy and his fiancée and pack up my stuff.
Thankfully, I hadn’t needed much, so it all fits in my shoulder bag.
I’m not tired enough to go home, so I decide to stop somewhere and get a drink.
Aspen is spending the weekend away with River, but I know my roommates are probably around.
I check their location on Life360 and see they’re at the bar just down the block from our apartment, so I drop off my stuff and surprise them.
Liz spots me first, waving frantically with her dark red hair swishing behind her.
She’s leaning over the bar to get my attention and I laugh, waving back.
You’d think she’s already drunk, but the truth is this is just Liz.
Although I do spot two empty glasses in front of her.
Rachel is next to her sipping a glass of wine and waves more timidly.
“Finally! Now this one might get the party started!” Liz cheers and wraps her arms around my neck for a messy hug.
“What’s going on?” I smile, grabbing a stool at the bar next to them.
“I was trying to convince Rachel here to do some shots, but she isn’t going for it,” Liz grumbles.
“Well fuck it, I’m down,” I say, and Liz claps and calls the bartender toward us. She bends over the bar, showing off her tits, almost giving the guy an aneurysm. “Six shots of your finest vodka.” She winks.
“Excuse me, I didn’t agree to this,” Rachel groans.
“Come on, you can tell me all about the girl.” But I immediately realize it was the wrong thing to say; Rachel hits her head on the wooden bar.
“She uh didn’t hear back,” Liz whispers.
“Well, then we do shots and find someone new for you.” I decide.
“Yesssss!” Liz cheers.
The shots arrive, and the bartender gives us each two.
Liz and I clink the tiny glasses and down them immediately.
The warm buzz of the vodka runs down the back of my throat and into my almost empty stomach.
I’ll have to remember to grab some fries or something on the way home.
We both pick up our second shot and look at Rachel.
She lifts her head enough to take the first shot, Liz cheering her on.
Then she begrudgingly takes the second one as Liz and I take ours too.
“Come on, let’s go get you a woman,” I tell her, taking her hand.
I don’t know Rachel’s type, having only seen her with one relationship in the few years I’ve known her.
Rachel and Liz had been friends for a long time, having lived together for at least a decade.
Their old roommate had gotten married just as I moved to New York with Aspen.
While she was staying with her mom, I needed a place to stay, and Brooklyn seemed the most feasible.
I had always thought I’d eventually move out to a place of my own, and while I can afford it financially, I think I’d miss them too much.
“She goes for femmes like you!” Liz says reading my mind. No wonder she and Rachel usually went out, they had totally opposite tastes in women.
“Good, then I know exactly how to help. What do you think of the redhead by the door?” I nod my head, and Rachel glances over.
“She’s cute,” she admits begrudgingly.
“Okay, so go over to her and offer to buy her a drink.”
“No way.” Rachel shakes her head like I’ve told her to dance naked on the bar.
“Finish your wine and go over there,” Liz says more commandingly.
“Ugh,” Rachel grumbles, but listens to her and we watch as she walks over. It looks like it’s going well, they’re both smiling, until a random man walks in and puts his arm around the other woman. Rachel is immediately walking back to us.
“Her husband wanted to know if he could watch,” Rachel groans, and we order another round of shots. What is with the audacity of men these days?
“Why would he want to watch you fuck his wife better than he can?” Liz scoffs and I laugh.
“They always want a guest star until they realize you do a better job.” We all clink glasses before downing the last shot.
“What about her?” Liz points to a brunette reading at the other end of the bar.
“She looks like she doesn’t want to be bothered.” Rachel frowns.
“If you say hello and ask about her book, you’ll know for sure. She might just be waiting for someone with a brain cell to talk to her,” I add.
“Fine, it’s not like I have anything to lose at this point.” She shrugs.
Liz and I watch on as Rachel not only is invited to sit with the woman, but she puts down the book too.
“Success!” Liz cheers.
“She just needed someone who was her type,” I agree.
“Is that what you’re looking for?” Liz tilts her head sideways at me.
“No, I’m not looking for anything except another drink.” I chuckle.
“Are things over between you and Cari?” Liz asks more seriously.
“Things never started, so how can they be over?”
I sip on a vodka tonic and feel the buzz settling in.
I am definitely drunk now and do not want to be talking about Cari.
I’ve spent too many days lately worrying and stressing over her.
In fact, I take out my phone and scroll to her profile.
I don’t want to keep being reminded of her.
I’d never be able to move on if she is constantly in my face.
So I click the buttons to unfollow her and decide to take it one step further and block her.
She is going to keep reaching out to me if I let her, and I am over it.
I make sure to do the same on text, or she is just going to keep messaging me.
I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want to be constantly bombarded with her apologies and looking to talk things out.
Sure, I like her, but I wish she could respect that I don’t want a relationship. It’s like every time I’ve thought about taking things further, she’d rush it, and I’d need to retreat twenty steps. I don’t want to be with someone like that.
I’ve seen how easy it is when two people are meant to be. River and Aspen have the kind of love I’ve always wanted. Maybe one day that could be Cari and me, but for now, we need some space.
With River and Aspen, sure, they fight, but they are also so in tune with each other, and their communication is top-notch. I’m sure they don’t worry about not being on the same page, or get jealous all the time. I just want a relationship where it isn’t so hard all the time.