Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
MAX
I’ve seen Cari more times this week than I probably have in all the time I’ve known her. We hung out all day Sunday at my studio, talking about different things while she helped me get ready for my Monday shoot.
Then I brought her lunch on Tuesday and we had a dinner date on Wednesday and Thursday. I brought her breakfast on Friday, and I just picked her up from her apartment again on Saturday.
Despite not doing anything more than kissing, I am enjoying every second with her. I’m getting to know more than her body, and as sad as it is, it’s the first time I’ve done that since Chelsea.
Cari is funnier than I remember, and her laugh gets me through the time without her. Ben and I talked about her the entire session this week, and I am happily surprised by the change between us. It made sense, given the months apart and the way we worked on ourselves instead of anything else.
“So, what did you want to do today?” I ask, looking at Cari.
“I was actually hoping we could go to this thrift shop in your neighborhood? It’s supposed to have some cute stuff.” She smiles, her pink gloss catching the sunlight.
“Sounds good to me, but I’m definitely going to need some coffee because someone kept me up way too late on the phone last night,” I tease, raising an eyebrow. She blushes, and takes my hand.
“Don’t worry, we can get you some coffee. I need a bagel or something. I forgot to leave enough time for breakfast,” she admits.
“Bagel shop it is.” I nod, not bothering to type it into my phone.
There’s no way we wouldn’t pass one on the walk from her apartment to the subway.
Then, no less than a block later, we pass a crowded bagel shop.
It’s better to see one crowded than an empty one in New York City, which seems like a bad omen.
“Why don’t you wait here, and I’ll grab everything? Cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese?” I ask, hoping to recall her order. I had it written in my phone, but I didn’t want to consult that right now.
“Yes, please. And an iced caramel latte. I’m feeling something sweet.” She smiles.
“Of course.” I give her a swift kiss on the cheek before heading inside.
It’s feeling simple with Cari. The way we fit together, the way we collided into each other’s lives, was calm this time.
It wasn’t two go-karts speeding together, but two waves carefully saying hello.
I order our food and drinks and wait for our number to be called, glancing outside the front window.
Cari is standing under the awning, her blonde hair tied in a tight ponytail, curls cascading down her back.
Her hips move as if she’s singing a song in her head, and knowing her, she probably is.
I smile, watching her as she waits. I’m relaxed until I see an unfamiliar face greet her, wrapping his arms around her.
Instinctively, my hands crumble the receipt I am holding.
Who the hell has their hands on my girl?
Whoa, what the hell was that? Where did that even come from?
Am I jealous? I’ve never considered myself to be a jealous person, especially with Cari.
But the way she was smiling and laughing, and he had hugged her?
It made me feel a little uneasy. It isn’t because she’s bi; I’d have the same feeling if an unfamiliar woman grabbed her like that.
We haven’t talked about being exclusive yet, so she hasn’t done anything wrong.
But maybe that is our next step? Because the way she’s laughing right now makes me want to punch the other person in the face. Which I know isn’t fair of me.
Grabbing our bagels and drinks, I head outside, and Cari smiles, waving me over. “Max! This is Wesley. Wesley this is, uh, Max.” She introduces us, and I notice the pause between saying my name. As if she isn’t sure how to introduce me.
“Hey, I’d shake your hand but I clearly can’t right now.” I force a laugh. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I also wanted to be as far away from this guy as possible.
“No worries, I work with Cari. She says you’re a photographer? I’m always looking to have one on retainer, and Ellie is a huge fan of your work.” He smiles, with perfect white teeth and curls falling over his forehead.
“Oh yeah? What do you do?” I ask as Cari takes her coffee from me.
“I’m a designer as well. Right now, just working under Ellie, but I’ve designed a few of my own things too. I’m always hoping to be able to spread my wings on my own someday, but we’ll see.” He shrugs bashfully. It’s becoming hard not to like him; he’s a nice guy.
“He’s being modest. He designs amazing clothes and accessories for the brand. He’s had a few of his pieces go viral, and Ellie is always one to give credit. I’m sure one day he’ll need an assistant, so you’d be smart to work with him,” Cari praises.
“I have a few cards in my wallet, I’m always happy to help a friend of Cari’s,” I say a little more sarcastically than I intend. Wesley doesn’t catch it, but Cari raises an eyebrow, and I blush. I wasn’t trying to make this a thing, but this is uncharted territory for me.
“Here.” Cari takes my coffee and the bag of bagels from me so I can grab my wallet out of my back pocket. I pull out a business card and hand it to him.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” He smiles. “I should get going, my boyfriend is meeting me uptown, and he hates it when I’m late.”
“See you Monday!”
Cari gives him a quick hug, and I manage a, “Nice to meet you,” while feeling like an idiot.
Once he’s out of earshot, Cari turns to me and hands me my bagel.
I unwrap it halfway, eating it as we walk.
She’s staring at me, but I pretend I don’t notice.
It’s hard considering that she’s basically staring me down.
But I don’t know what to say: Sorry for thinking your gay bestie was actually your secret boyfriend?
I was jealous and I know now that I shouldn’t have been.
I lead her to the subway, hoping that she can’t ask me over the sound of the passing trains and crowded station. But when we sit down in a surprisingly empty train car, she turns to me. “So, are you going to tell me what that was about?”
I play dumb for a moment. “What?”
Cari raises both eyebrows and just stares at me. “You were incredibly jealous back there, Miss Montgomery.”
I groan at her use of my last name. Something about it being used like a nickname is hot. “Was I?”
“Oh my gosh! You so were!” Cari hits my shoulder playfully. “You know, I thought you might have been, but then you’re being so weird about it! Is it possible that Max Montgomery was jealous of someone talking to me!?”
She’s way too happy about this; it would be adorable if it weren’t embarrassing. How did I become this person?
“Maybe I was for like half a second.” I roll my eyes.
“I knew it!” she shouts a bit too loudly, getting a dirty look from a nearby old man. She ignores him and keeps going, “It was cute seeing you get jealous.”
I don’t say anything, leading her off the train at our stop. She smiles, holding her manicured hand, and I’m internally groaning. Why the hell is this adorable? We make it outside, and it’s a fifteen-minute walk to the thrift store, so I stop to turn to her.
“Maybe we should talk, like about this and us,” I say, seriously.
Cari studies my face, I’m not sure what she’s looking for. Her face is unreadable for the first time. When she finally answers, it feels like eons later.
“Okay.”
We sit down on a random bus bench we find half a block later, and she waits for me to start. She looks calm, but I can feel her palms starting to sweat, and I realize I’ve probably made her think I’m trying to end this. Like I have so many times before.
“I’m not trying to end this,” I say first, hoping to get it out of the way.
Cari takes a deep breath and then laughs. “Thank goodness.”
“I was just hoping we could make sure we’re on the same page about everything. We’ve never done this before, and I told you I wanted to do it right. I wanted to make sure we aren’t going to lose our friends if this doesn’t work out, or worse, hurt each other. I care about you,” I explain.
“I care about you too,” she says quietly.
“I’m looking for something serious. Someone to spend my life with, no matter how that might look. I’m not looking to be some lesbian U-Haul stereotype, but settling down at some point in the future might not be the worst thing,” I say.
“Is Max Montgomery ready for a relationship?” She feigns a gasp, and I’m the one to laugh.
“Yes, I think I really am.” I nod.
“I didn’t think you liked relationships.”
“I thought I wasn’t the relationship type.
I thought maybe I had my chance and that it was gone.
But I was wrong, because when I met you, everything changed.
” I look up at her blue eyes, and they catch my reflection in the sun.
Somehow, it doesn’t scare me how deeply I’m starting to feel for this girl.
“Wow,” she says softly.
Have I made her speechless?
“I think if this is going to work, we have to continue with this open communication. I can’t shut down and you have to talk to me too.
But I also want us both to stay in therapy.
I think it’s good for us to have someone outside to talk to.
Someone who isn’t our friend, who might just agree with us,” I add.
“I like that, I agree. I don’t think this would have worked if we really tried it in the past. We weren’t the people we are now,” she says.
I nod. “Are you in a place where your mental health can handle starting a relationship?”
She pauses, which makes me relieved. She isn’t rushing into this the way she would’ve in the past. She’s giving it actual thought and thinking about what’s best for her as much as what she wants. There is no doubt in my mind that she wants to be with me. But is she able to be?
“I think so, but I’d also need the opportunity to communicate if I need more or less. I haven’t tried dating anyone since you, so it’s all new to me. But I’d like to try with you,” she says.
“If you decide you can’t do it right now but you want to, I’d be willing to wait,” I say.
“You would?” she asks, surprised.
“I would. I think this is something worth waiting for.”
Cari leans over to kiss me. Her sticky lips melt into mine, letting me taste the cherry sweetness.
I’m lost in her lips and I allow her to take control.
Only a bus’s beep breaks us apart. We both laugh before she grabs my hand again.
I follow her down the block before she spots an old Photo Booth.
Her eyes light up like a kid seeing a candy store.
“Can we?!” she asks.
“Sure.” I laugh.
We could take much better photos in my studio if that’s what she was after, but I think it is more about the memory.
So, I step into the old booth, pat my thigh, she squishes in, and I pay the machine.
She pulls the little green curtain over, and we take turns posing, kissing, and smiling.
When it’s done, we step outside and wait for the photos to develop.
Cari squeals when they fall out of the dispenser and grabs them carefully.
There we were, frozen in time, Cari and I falling in love.