35. Chapter 35
Max never did come back to the bedroom after leaving to go find some clothes. I waited for him to do just that, until I heard an excited little boy voice harassing his uncle. After it became apparent that J.J. was wide awake, there were no more reasons to wait in my bedroom. Instead, I grabbed my human-sized graduation bear off the chair in the corner of my room and tucked him up under my arm. Then, I thought better of it and held him in such a way that it appeared the bear was walking beside me.
As I descended the steps to the main floor, I heard a squeal and the pitter-patter of little boy feet chasing after me. His father and uncle joined him in watching me walk downstairs with the bear while having a one-way conversation with him.
“Of course we’re going to get breakfast. People two states away heard your tummy grumbling this morning.” Little boy giggles followed behind. “What? No! My tummy grumbles were not louder than yours!”
“Daddy,” I heard J.J. whisper-yell. “What do giant teddy bears eat?”
“You really want pancakes again?” I asked the bear. “Fine, I’ll make us some.”
“Can I hab some too?” J.J. asked.
“I’m making enough pancakes to feed all the people in this house plus the stinky, giant bear.” J.J.’s giggles were a balm to my wounded soul. It was day two without Jack in my life. It felt as though he’d be waiting downstairs for me. Instead, the house felt lonely, as if it was missing its heart.
The bear grew heavier in my arm at the thought of Jack not being downstairs to see its arrival along with the peals of laughter coming from the little boy following us down.
At the bottom of the stairs, I tripped over a tennis shoe and nearly went tumbling along with the bear. “Dammit, Evan. How many times…” I cut myself off because that was Jack’s rant for him. As soon as I realized my dad’s words were about to fall from my mouth I stopped short and then laughed. He was here in spirit.
“I swear, I didn’t leave them there.” Evan came over and helped me by taking the bear off my hands. “I’ll help the big guy to the table while you pull yourself together, crackpot.”
My laughter continued to flow out of me until the tears of joy turned to ones of sadness for missing the man who had been my rock for more than a decade.
“Go with your uncle, J.J.”
“No. Posie is sad.” Little boy arms wrapped around my body where I had slid to the floor in an effort to stop myself from falling hard after tripping over the shoe. “Don’t be sad. Big hugs makes it better.”
I wrapped my arms around the little boy and felt his father engulf us in his embrace too. Their warmth filled me up again and made it possible to keep moving forward. “Sorry, I just missed my dad, especially after nearly chewing Evan out with the same words I heard Jack lob at him year-after-year whenever we stayed at the house with him.”
“It’s okay, Posie, we know.”
“My daddy is gonna marry you some day.”
J.J.’s admission shocked all of us. Evan had come back from depositing the bear in the kitchen and stopped short before he got to our pile on the floor. I glanced up to see him grinning from ear to ear.
“Well, I guess there aren’t any secrets in this family,” Evan teased.
“That was supposed to be a surprise, Jay,” his father admonished playfully.
“Posie gonna marry me too?”
I ruffled his hair and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Sure thing, kiddo. Maybe we should go eat first, though.”
He jumped up and pumped his fist before sticking his tongue out at his dad and running off to the kitchen. “Looks like little man just stole your woman right out from underneath you.” Evan laughed as he taunted his brother.
Jack didn’t want a funeral or to be buried anywhere. He wanted his ashes scattered at a special place on the property where he had done the same with his own wife years earlier. The piece of land, near a little natural spring-fed pond in a clearing surrounded by a copse of trees, was deeded to a family trust so that no one person owned it, and it could not be sold off out from under another family member.
When we all found out about it, everyone agreed that they wanted the same done with their remains if they should die before everyone else. While morbid, it was also a beautiful moment to know that we all wanted the same thing, to be together again in the end.
Two days after we scattered Jack’s ashes together, Max came to me and asked to talk. My nerves were on high alert because over the past couple days, there had been so much going on that we didn’t have any time to really spend together. Not in the ways I wish we could have anyway.
“What’s going on?” I asked when we both found a seat out on the porch in those old rockers.
“J.J. and I need to go back to finish packing up our stuff and get things settled with Beth. I have a court date next Thursday.”
My eyes widened at that. “I didn’t realize you were going to court or that you had to wait around that long.”
“She refused to sign the papers when she realized I haven’t been in town.”
I sighed. Max had been hopeful that Beth would be out of their lives soon, but something in my gut told me that snake of a woman wouldn’t disappear as quietly as he seemed to think she would.
“Okay, what do you need from me?”
“I need you to come back with us.”
“Seriously?”
“We talked about it before and you agreed, but since then, we’ve been kind of swamped and I wasn’t sure if…” I reached over and put my hand on his thigh to reassure him.
“I am not backing out on going with you. Of course, I will be there if you want me to be. I didn’t know if my being there would cause more problems for you two. Beth sounds…” I hesitated to say it, but as Max remained patient and quiet by my side I shrugged my shoulders and dove into my feelings. “Well, frankly, she sounds a lot like my own mother was. I worry for J.J.’s safety. Knowing what my mom did to the woman my dad was in love with, I also worry that Beth will go nuts if I’m around.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“I hate secrets,” I admitted.
“The reason Beth started going off the rails before is because I was trying to get J.J. used to the idea that you were going to be in our lives soon. He started going back to her telling her all about the lady his dad was going to marry, and Beth started to spiral.”
I gasped. “Did you do that on purpose?”
“Nope. As a matter of fact, I tried not to make a huge deal about it and included talk of you in with the rest of the family, so it felt normal. I think my boy was looking for a mother figure who actually cared about him, and he ran with the fantasy of someone who was going to come into his life and be better than his mom was.”
“That’s so sad, Max.”
“It really fucking is. If there was one thing I could change in my life, it would be to change who my boy’s mother is. He didn’t deserve for it to be that crazy bitch.”
I squeezed his thigh and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. Since Jack died, we had moved the chairs closer and took the little table between them out of the way. It sat on the other side of the chair I always sat in, and we got a matching one for the other side of Max’s chair.
“I will be there by your side.”
“Thank fuck.”
We left the following morning and got in by mid-afternoon on Saturday. When we got inside Max’s house, it was in shambles. There were half full moving boxes everywhere.
“Shit,” he hummed the word as we all glanced around at the chaos my two boys left in their wake in their packing attempt. “I guess I forgot how bad everything looked here.”
I chuckled and held J.J. close to me. “I’m hungwy,” he complained.
“How about you order us some food, since I doubt you have anything we can make quickly. Then, after we get the little monster fed, so he stops growling at us, I can help you organize this.”
“There’s a reason I’m going to marry you one day.”
I grinned at Max. “Well, let’s hope I live up to your organizational expectations then.”
After we got J.J. situated with some crayons and a bunch of left over boxes to decorate, we started in on labeling the boxes Max already had full, as we sealed them up. After the food arrived, his son went down for a nap and his best friend Jake came over to help out.
“It’s good to see you two finally together and not running the hell away from one another,” Jake teased when Max wrapped his arms around me after grabbing us all a beer from the pack Jake brought with him.
“It’s a long time coming.”
“Too bad you didn’t stick around that last time you were here. I feel like I owe you both an apology for that day.”
I waved Jake off. “Nope, you really don’t. Me showing up was a total surprise, so you couldn’t have known.”
“I did though,” Jake admitted. “Obviously, I didn’t know you were coming that day, but I thought it was unhealthy that Max was always pining away after a girl he couldn’t be with. I knew the girl I was seeing back then was bringing a friend along.”
“So, you lied to me?” Max asked him while he rolled his eyes. It was clear he knew it had been a setup all along.
“Well, if I had known she was a clinging weirdo, I never would have tried to set you up with what basically amounted to a Beth Junior, but yeah, I thought you needed to get out and start dating women who were accessible to you. It feels like I fucked things up between you guys.”
“Nah. We weren’t ready for one another then. Don’t sweat it,” I told Jake and Max must have agreed or liked the fact that I let his buddy off the hook because he squeezed me tight and then kissed the top of my head. Just as he was about to lean in and kiss my mouth, someone knocked loudly on the door.
“It’s after ten,” Jake growled.
“If they wake up J.J., we’re going to have a problem. I don’t care who that is,” Max added as he let me go to answer the door.
“I heard you were back in town, baby,” a woman’s voice cooed to Max. I didn’t hesitate to go see who in the hell thought she could show up at Max’s door at night and call him ‘baby’. I wasn’t surprised to see Beth standing there in nothing but an open coat and skimpy lingerie.
It was my turn to roll my eyes as Jake walked up beside me.
“What is going on?” Beth snapped as she snatched her coat closed. It barely covered her bottom half, but at least her boobs were hidden from sight.
“What the hell are you doing here, Beth?”
“I came to welcome you back home and give you another chance to realize what you’re missing out on,” she snapped at him.
“I’m not missing out on anything,” Max informed her as he pulled me into his side. Jake stood slightly out of the way, and I wasn’t sure if Beth could see him there, but I noticed his cell phone was up and made sure Max slid closer to me, so Jake had a clear view to film whatever happened.
“What in the hell is that whore doing here? Hasn’t she caused enough problems for us?”
“There was never an ”us”, Beth. You took advantage of me when I was not able to consent and got yourself pregnant the one time we had sex. I’ll remind you again, I don’t even remember that happening. I refused to date you time and again when you badgered me to do so until I had to threaten legal action against you.”
“That’s not true,” she huffed.
“Oh, it’s entirely true and on record, so don’t try to lie to cause problems because Posie is here.”
“Such a stupid name,” Beth bit out. I rolled my eyes again. The woman was ridiculous.
“What in the hell are you doing at my house after ten at night, banging down my door, and showing up in lingerie?”
“I told you that I came to make things good between us again.”
“There was never an ‘us’, Beth. I won’t tell you that again. You have repeatedly been told that you are not welcome at my residence. When you were allowed to pick up our son, we always did that at a neutral location, never at my house because you are not welcome here.”
“I thought you would change your mind,” she suggested as she ran her fingers down the seam of the coat she allowed to spread open again.
“I do not, under any circumstance, want you in my life, my son’s life, anywhere near where we live, work, or go to school. I do not want further contact with you and our son won’t have any either. If he changes his mind about that when he turns 18, then that’s his decision. We are a long way off from him reaching that age, considering he’s only 3 right now.”
“Max, stop this. You’re embarrassing me.”
“No, you’re embarrassing yourself. You shouldn’t be here.”
“He’s my son and you are my man!” Beth screamed at the top of her lungs just as a man walked up with his cell phone held high, obviously recording the event as well.
“Everything alright here, Max?”
“I just instructed Beth that she needed to leave and should have never shown up at my house.”
“She’s been slinking around the house a few times since you’ve been out of town. I guess she didn’t know when you’d be back and kept trying her luck. Have it on my cameras and saved the files for you,” Max’s neighbor informed him.
“Appreciate that, man. Beth, you need to go.”
“NO! My boy is in there! You are mine! You were always supposed to be mine, not hers!” She screamed and then lunged as if to attack me. Both Jake and the neighbor continued to film the scene, for use as evidence later, while Max stepped between Beth and me and took the brunt of her attack as he pushed me deeper into the house away from her.
“Daddy!” J.J. called out, having been woken by the noise. I went to him, and he ran willingly into my arms. “No!” He screamed as he saw his mom standing there attacking his father. “No mommy. Don’t want to. No. Pwease, no mommy.”
My heart broke in that moment as I wondered what this poor boy had endured when he had been required to stay with his mother. Max took a solid hit to his jaw as he snapped around to see the way his son reacted to his mother.
Beth took the opportunity to charge at me, once again, even though I was holding her son in my arms. “He’s not yours. You can’t have them! I will kill you, bitch!” The woman screamed as Max tackled her to the ground. “I will kill you too and then I’ll kill that little brat. He was supposed to make you stay with me and he failed. Max is mine!” She screamed as her wild, crazy eyes locked on mine. ”He is MINE. Mine. You can keep the little brat, I’ll find a way to take you both out. Max is mine.”
“You’re insane!” Max yelled as he took something from Jake and slapped it down on Beth. It took a minute for me to realize he was cuffing her hands behind her back. “Stop this, Beth! J.J. doesn’t need to see or hear this shit.”
“I will kill him and her too,” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
That finally pulled me out of my shocked state and I moved quickly to take J.J. back down the hall and into his room at the back of the house. When we got there, I started to hum to him to block out the sound of his mother’s screaming. It didn’t do much good, considering we could still hear her, but J.J. sank into me and his poor little muscles relaxed a bit.
“No mommy,” he chanted over and over again into my shoulder as my heart broke for the little boy.
“No mommy, I promise.” I cooed the words into his ear as I ran my hands reassuringly over his back and kissed his head repeatedly. “You’re safe, baby. I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay?”
“Otay. Posie, be my mommy?” He asked after a series of hiccups racked his poor little body.
“I will always be here for you, baby. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“Otay.”
“Okay. I love you sweet boy,” I offered the only comfort I could, my truth where he was concerned.
“Wuv you too.” His voice was a hoarse whisper as he settled his head on my shoulder and calmed a little more.
I sat there rocking his body against mine in a gentle back and forth sway as I heard sirens approach and then listened as statements were taken and Beth was carted away. An officer came in to speak to me, and thankfully, she did so whisper quiet as J.J. had fallen asleep on me. I refused to relinquish my hold on him and spoke in quiet tones about what I’d witnessed. I didn’t think it was necessary, considering there were two men filming the whole scene from different angles, but if it helped keep her away from my Carter boys, then that was what I would do.
Once we finally got J.J. down in his bed, Jake volunteered to sleep in the room with him in case he woke up with nightmares. Max guided me across the hall to where he only had a mattress left on the floor with a sheet and blanket draped over it. The frame had been disassembled and was off to the side ready to be packed up with the rest of his belongings.
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that,” Max apologized.
“No honey, I’m sorry you and J.J. had to deal with her. There’s no telling what she has done to traumatize that boy so much. He did not want to go with her. His little body was shaking in my arms before she ever even threatened to kill anyone.”
Max scrubbed his hands down his face, and for the first time that night, I saw as tears trailed down his face. “I worried about what she was doing to him. He started wetting the bed again a few months before the incident where she left him with the babysitter, but I had no proof of anything. There were no marks on him.” I couldn’t put hidden cameras inside her apartment. I felt so fucking helpless. A parent should never have to feel elated that their kid was abandoned, but I did. I was never scared for him because he was in good hands, but when his babysitter called to tell me his mom never came to pick him up… My instant reaction was pure fucking joy because I finally had something that could be used against her.”
“I understand. You have a hell of a lot more now, and don’t even need to use what Jack had gathered about her.”
“Yeah, I do. I just wish you and J.J. didn’t have to be here for that.”
“Max, I’m here for both of you. I’m glad I was here to help him through that while you dealt with her. It enabled Jake to keep filming everything while you took care of the problem. I’m so glad that I was here to take care of him through that. I wish the shock of the situation hadn’t kept me frozen so long, but hearing the things she said was unavoidable at any rate.”
“Let’s forget about the crazy bitch for the rest of the night. I need to hold you in my arms, sweetheart.”
“We can do that,” I said as we undressed and climbed onto the mattress together. The minute his arms wrapped around me, I was lost to the comfort he provided and needed more all at once. “Max, I need you.”
“Need you too, sweetheart.”
Before he could say another word, I moved down his body after throwing the sheet off of us and placed kisses all along his chest and abdomen as I went. “Posie, that’s not what I meant.”
“It’s exactly what I meant,” I told him. Going down on a man wasn’t something I had a lot of experience with. I hadn’t liked to do it with Mark because he was too aggressive with the way he used me. With Max, I wanted to please him, to ease some of the tension I still felt rolling off him in waves.
He blamed himself for what his son and I witnessed earlier, instead of blaming the crazy bitch for being a psycho nutcase. When I got down to his cock, I took it in hand and licked from the base to tip and back down again before going lower where I sucked on his balls.
“Holy fucking shit, Posie,” he growled. “Feels so good, sweetheart.”
The little anxiety I felt at giving him oral drained away in that moment to be replaced with a sense of power. Not in the sense that I had power over him, but that I had the power to make him feel good and forget his troubles, even if briefly. After sucking his balls into my mouth and massaging them with my tongue a few times, I relinquished them and licked all the way back up to his tip before sucking him into my mouth and down to the back of my throat until my lips wrapped around the base of his dick.
“Fucking hell, woman. You’re about to make me shoot off faster than I ever have in my life.”
I released his cock and smiled up at him. “Don’t hold back on my account. I’ll bring him back to life again when we’re done here,” I promised with a teasing tone.
I could have sworn I heard him say something about, “So many regrets.” It wasn’t something to take personally though because I knew exactly what he meant. Like me, he wished we had been doing this a lot sooner.
I continued to bob my mouth up and down his cock while massaging his balls with my hand. Every time I gave a little tug on them, his cock jerked in my mouth and spurted a little more precum. He was so close to tipping over the edge that I swallowed him back down to the base and sucked hard once there.
I didn’t have a gag reflex that ruined the moment, so I stayed there sucking until the need to breathe again won out. Three more rounds of that and Max groaned as his release slid right down my throat while his hands grasped at my hair. It was almost as if he was at war with himself as one tried to hold me down while the other pulled tightly on the hair clasped in his grip, as if to pull me off his cock.
That was just the beginning of our night together, making one another forget that there were evil bitches who ruined things for people in the world. Max made me feel, forget, and find heaven itself in return and both of us ended up a little worse for the wear when his son woke us in the morning.
We got the moving truck packed up and Jake offered to drive it to our hometown for us, since we still had to stick around for court in a few days.