Chapter Twenty-Seven Lila
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
LILA
I sat crisscrossed on Tiernan’s bed, examining my treasure.
As promised, he bought me everything I wanted from the internet and opened an account for me, where he taught me how to order things. It was a fairly simple process, which infuriated me even more, because why did Mama cut me off from such a great invention?
There was a mouthwatering number of books about arts and music in front of me, a new Kindle—connected to the internet this time—a vibrating alarm clock, a bed shaker, sound field speakers, and a Bluetooth microphone. I also splurged on new sketchbooks and pencils.
I picked up my phone and checked if Mama answered my last message.
Lila: Are you really cutting all ties with me because I speak to my husband? Do you understand how utterly deranged that is?
The message was read, but there was no reply. It had been a week since her showdown with Tiernan, so I gathered she made her decision. I was dead to her.
With a sigh, I opened a new message bubble and texted Enzo.
Lila: How’s Mama doing?
Enzo: Still butthurt. Fuck her, though. It’s for her to work out with herself. You did nothing wrong.
Lila: It’s a huge change for her.
Enzo: Nah. It’s a huge change for YOU. If she can’t be there for you, she deserves to stew in it until she comes to her senses.
Even though I knew he was right, talking about it made tears sting my eyes.
Lila: And how’s your arm?
Enzo: Better. Even managed to rub one out yesterday.
Lila: Rub what out?
Enzo: Oops. Nothing. Is Tiernan treating you well?
I googled the meaning of rub one out. Gagged. Reopened our text window.
Lila: No complaints here.
I was downplaying it, of course. The truth was, I liked my husband.
I liked our dinners. I liked his dry sense of humor and sardonic smirks and that he spooned me from behind at night just to make me practice being touched.
I still couldn’t sleep at all, but at least I could be in the same vicinity with an intimidating, muscular male without recoiling.
Enzo: I still can’t believe you can talk. The amount of gossip sessions we could’ve had about our messed up family ?.
Lila: We can always play catch up.
Enzo: Don’t worry. I have a feeling we’re about to get some fresh material soon, between Luca and Achilles.
I smiled, shaking my head. My phone vibrated, alerting me through a special app that the front door had opened. It was one of the many gadgets Tiernan had installed for me.
A moment later, my husband appeared at our bedroom door, parking his shoulder on the doorframe. For a moment, he just stared at me.
“Hi.” I smiled. He didn’t.
“Have you slept any tonight?”
“I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t.
I knew he was disgusted with the baby growing inside me, and I had a feeling he was going to find a creative way to get rid of both of us once I gave birth.
He avoided touching my belly completely when he held me at night, sticking to my shoulders, my rib cage, my waist. As if my midriff was radioactive.
My husband pushed off the doorframe, advancing toward me. “Get dressed. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.”
“News to me.”
His penetrating gaze told me he did not appreciate me lipping back.
I sighed. “Where are we going?”
It couldn’t be the OB-GYN, because I switched to someone else and booked my own appointment online, so I knew exactly when it was. The prospect of seeing Brandy again gave me the hives. And I didn’t trust myself not to bash her head against the reception desk.
“The shooting range. I’m going to teach you how to use a gun, since not knowing how to use one doesn’t stop you.”
My spine straightened. His words from our wedding night tumbled back into the forefront of my mind.
“If you were a real Callaghan, I’d have taken you to the shooting range to work on that aim. We have a reputation to uphold.”
Did that mean I was a real Callaghan now?
I decided to get dressed and do what I was told for once.
I made my way to the walk-in closet in my old bedroom, and Tiernan followed me.
We both stopped in front of my messy shelves.
When I gave him an annoyed look, he explained, “Can’t wear any frilly pink dresses or tutu skirts. Go for comfy jeans and a tee.”
“Got it. Would you like to watch me put them on?” I asked sarcastically, since he wouldn’t budge.
It was so liberating. Being sassy and daring and…me. Being me. I spent my entire life wondering who I truly was under the facade my mother made me put on. Being the girl she wanted me to be. And Tiernan let me find out who I truly was. As it turned out, I had a bit of a temper.
“Yes.” Simple. Unapologetic. Cold.
Nibbling on the corner of my lower lip, I considered it. He’d already seen me naked at the doctor’s office, and his gaze felt so good on my skin that just thinking about it made me want to moan.
“It’ll be good practice for you. If you ever want to try sex.” He slipped his hands into his front pockets.
“With you?” Butterflies exploded in the pit of my stomach.
“I’m your only option.”
“But I don’t want to do it the way you do.”
“I know.”
His answer was loaded. My heart beat in an uneven staccato.
“So you are saying you are going to take me the way you take other women?”
“No.” He tore his gaze from mine, suddenly exhibiting acute interest in the ceiling. “I’m saying you’re not the only one who’s growing up here.”
I chose a pair of skinny jeans and a tight riding shirt and put them aside as I slowly stepped out of my pajamas.
Tiernan stood at the doorway and drank in my every movement.
A few weeks ago, I’d have a panic attack from the prospect of him being so close to my naked figure.
Now, I resented him for not walking over to me and kissing me like in the movies.
Stepping out of my pajamas, I stood before him in nothing but my white cotton underwear.
I had a little baby bump. It was small and hard.
When his eye moved over me, head to toe, he took his time touching and caressing every inch of my body with his gaze.
But when it reached my lower abdomen, his eye skated over it quickly.
I gulped, putting my clothes on. Bitter disappointment exploded on my tongue.
When we slipped into his car, I noticed there weren’t any soldiers with us. I found it peculiar, but not unwelcome.
“Whatever happened to only teaching your real wife how to shoot a gun?”
“Gotta renew my own permit.” He adjusted the rearview mirror. “Figured you could use a class or two.”
He infuriated and confused me. One moment he offered me sex, the other he looked disgusted with my belly. His behavior gave me whiplash. And the worst part was, I couldn’t discuss it with anyone, because Mama disowned me and Tierney’s loyalty was with my husband.
We arrived at the shooting range twenty minutes later. Tiernan got out of the car and rounded it, opening the door for me.
It was a massive black building that looked like a gym from the outside.
The first floor was a weapon shop. Tiernan placed his hand on the small of my back and steered me to the second floor through the stairs.
The upper floor was the actual range. There was a lobby manned by a guy with a backward baseball cap and a black Henley, firearms and earmuffs on display behind him.
There were also stalls, divided by black walls.
A few people were practicing, and the scent of gunpowder and hot metal slipped into my nostrils.
Tiernan and the guy at the lobby exchanged bro-hugs.
“Callaghan, my good man. How’s it been?”
“Jace. Is my wife’s gun ready?” Tiernan parked an elbow on the counter.
My what?
Jace nodded, reaching under his counter and taking out something that looked like a luxury brand shoebox. He dragged it across the counter toward me. My eyes darted to my husband.
He jerked his chin. “Open it.”
I popped the lid hesitantly, my mouth breaking into an involuntary beam.
It was a hot-pink gun, studded with diamonds around the muzzle. The trigger was covered in pure white silk. It was ridiculous, over-the-top, and completely me. It was also the first gift Tiernan ever gave me.
“Wilson Combat SFX9.” Tiernan’s lips moved in my periphery. “Custom made.”
Before I could stop myself, I flung my arms over his shoulders and pulled him into a grateful hug. He froze between my arms, his arms at his sides.
It reminded me that Tiernan had his own issues with intimacy and maybe embracing me from behind was all he could offer me right now. He touched people only on his terms.
Still, I didn’t step back. On the contrary, I hugged him even tighter, wanting to suck in all of his trauma.
Eventually, he defrosted, his posture relaxing against me. He didn’t hug me back, but he didn’t push me away, either. I took that as a small win. After a few moments, he pulled back gently. He cupped my jawline, peering into my face. “You like it?”
“I love it.”
“Good, because you’ll be carrying it at all times starting today. Here. I’ll show you how to load and case it.”
I spent the next twenty minutes with Tiernan, who familiarized me with the mechanics of the gun.
Most of it I recognized from seeing my brothers practicing their shots as teenagers in the backyard.
After Tiernan was certain I knew the ins and outs of handling and operating my firearm, we picked the farthest booth in the range.
He put eye protection and earmuffs on me.
He placed himself right behind me in front of the shooting target—a printout of a faceless man—and engulfed my hands from behind, lacing my fingers into the gun to put me in position.
My heart kicked into high gear at his proximity. He was so much taller than me, he had to crouch when he tugged one of my earmuffs behind my ear and placed his lips close so I could feel the shape of his words on the shell of it.
“First things first, you always treat your gun like it’s loaded. You never shoot until you’re sure of your target and everything beyond it. Nod if you understand.”